a/n: Back from Europe, and finally getting around to uploading this! I've been so busy catching up with classes, and sleep! I'm a really big klare and KC fan, so this was hard to write. I feel like my ideas are really scattered, and it shifts a lot... idk, enjoy?

KC wiped the last table off, clearing it of sticky rib sauce and stacked up the chairs one by one. Keeping his job at Little Miss Steaks kept him sane. Here he was able to forget about the drama with Jenna (at least when Marisol wasn't working) and the pain he felt about not being in Tyson- Doug's life. Work kept him busy and he liked that. It also helped that now he was promoted from bus boy to waiter, and got better shifts.

"All done, man?" A fellow waiter, Kristian, asked as he finished with his own section. "Yeah," KC grinned half-heartedly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

KC stepped out of the restaurant, feeling the cool evening air wash over his face. He was contemplating the homework he needed to finish before he called it quits for tonight when KC was suddenly knocked off his feet by a girl traveling at a reckless speed on a skateboard, a boy running behind her.

"I am so, so sorry!" She apologized, pushing her wild, dark curls out of her face. "Zig insisted I had to try skateboarding because it is so important, even though I didn't even want to! I'm sorry!"

The boy, Zig, walked past his upset girlfriend and offered KC a hand to pull him up. "Sorry," He shrugged as Tori sent him a glare. "I didn't see you walking down the street."

"It's fine," KC assured the two. "You might want to make sure she can balance first before she rides," He advised, seeing Tori stand up, her legs wobbling. "Last time I taught a girl how to skateboard, that was my mistake." The boy nodded and left with the girl, leaving KC with a surprise pang in his chest.

It had been over a month since Prom, and the night Clare Edwards had died. He'd been upset, yes, but in typical KC fashion, he tried pushing it out of his mind. Just like everything else in his life, KC tried to forget about the pain and hurt he felt at hearing about Clare's passing from Dave. He ignored everyone who tried to speak of it, and even picked up more shifts when his own mother wanted to talk to him about how he was doing just to avoid the subject.

But seeing Zig trying to teach his girlfriend how to skateboard, just like KC had a little more over a year ago hit him hard. He glanced over to the side of the road, almost able to hear Clare's squeal as she stepped onto the board for the first time.

"KC!" Clare squealed as the boarded moved forward a few inches, causing her to wobble. "I'm not sure about this anymore."

"Come on, Clare" KC had said, squeezing her hand in reassurance. "I'll hold onto you the whole time, you won't fall."

"Do you swear?" Clare had asked, holding onto his hand tighter. KC nodded, removing his hand from her vice-like grip and placing both around her waist.

KC let out a short laugh as the memory faded. He had tried to hang on to Clare, but the hill was steeper than he thought, causing him to face plant into the sidewalk as Clare continued down the hill, hitting a streetlight and falling into a bush. Clare had reprimanded him at first; angry he had talked her into something stupid, but then he silenced her with a kiss. It was a innocent kiss, really just a peck, but it did cause Clare's mouth to close shut, and heat to pool into her cheeks while KC gave her a goofy grin.

Sighing, the sandy haired boy hiked his backpack higher up on his shoulder and continued to march on back home. Little Miss Steaks wasn't too far of a walk back to the apartment complex he lived at with his mom, but it was long enough that Clare Edwards seemed to be taking over his mind, pushing forward the good memories, and the bad.

Trudging by the pier, KC stopped, hearing the waves crash out on the lake. This was Clare's favorite spot to go when they went out. She would sneakily tell her parents she was studying with Alli, and instead her and KC would walk down here, hand in hand, talking about school, life, anything. KC would eventually buy her a cup of hot chocolate when the air got chilly, and then they would sit at the dock, watching the tide come in.

"I love that sound, you know," Clare commented, watching the waves clash together as the sun set down. "There is just something so… peaceful about it."

KC would just smile at her, taking a sip of his drink, and watch the complete wonder and joy that formed across her face. "I like looking out at the water…. I know it's not the ocean, but it makes me feel closer to Darcy somehow. I know she is miles away, but sometime I feel like she is looking across the water to… thinking of me… missing our family."

"You really miss her, don't you?" KC asked, curling his fingers in with hers in an attempt to comfort. "Yeah," Clare replied wistfully. "But, Darcy needed this. Besides… She'll come back eventually."

"Well, you still have me," KC told her, grinning as Clare blushed. He could never get enough of that.

"I know," Clare said, smiling coyly. "I'm glad we're together."

"Me too," KC sealed the deal with a kiss, both coming up blushing, amazed their new relationship allowed them to do that.

KC could feel the pent up emotion bubbling painfully in his stomach. Sitting down at the dock, he starred across at the water, wondering if Clare was watching it too… from where ever she was. "It's not fair…" he whispered to himself, in his lonesome. He couldn't stop thinking that Clare should be the one sitting here, ejoying the crashing waves, if anything, he should be the one gone. He was the one who made mistakes; the one who stole cars, cheated on his girlfriend and let down and gave away his son to some strangers. Clare never did anything wrong. She looked out for people.

She looked out for him.

She saw him how he wanted to be seen. She saw him as a good guy, despite his upbringing, his past as a young hooligan and everything else. He hurt her, badly, and she let him know. She set him on the right track so many times, unconsciously, and KC had no idea where he'd be if he never met her, if he never knew her.

He felt something wet drop onto his knee, startled, he glanced up at the sky, but it had no rain cloud in sight. Feeling his face, KC realized he was crying.

Crying for Clare.

He took off running. From what he wasn't sure. All KC knew was he couldn't handle this. He couldn't handle anything. He couldn't handle his dad in prison, eventually coming out, and trying to see him. He couldn't deal with the fact that half the school looked at him in disgust, and although he still had some friend, he felt more alone than ever. He couldn't bare seeing Jenna happy and carefree, already moved on with Jake Martin, when he was still wallowing in self-hatred and despair, and he definitely couldn't live with the fact that his son was gone. He would never get to know who he was, and he would never get to see him grow up.

KC couldn't accept that Clare Edwards, his angel on the shoulder, his light at the end of the dark tunnel, was gone. Murdered. Dead. Never coming back.

There was no hope left in the world.

Charging through the apartment door, KC ran past his mother and slammed the door to his room shut. The emotions, the anger, the feelings all can lashing out into one big hurricane of mass destruction as KC whipped his backpack off, throwing it with great force into his desk, knocking picture's, books and other knick knack clattering onto the ground. Spinning around hazardously, KC kicked, lifted, swiped and grabbed anything and everything. He was the fire, and his room was the forest, as he unleashed his anger, demolishing everything in his path to at least let something out.

"KC! KC" He heard someone shout, but the voice seemed miles away. KC only paused, moving in slow motion when he saw something on the ground; something that caught his eye besides crumpled papers and shattered glass. Carefully moving his fingers over the broken mug, KC slide a small photograph from underneath. It had miraculously survived his tantrum.

Crumpling down to the floor in defeat, KC let out a wail, hugging the picture tightly to his chest. "KC! KC!" Lisa shouted, her eyes wide with worried as he sank to the ground with her son. "What's wrong? You need to tell me what's wrong."

"Everything's wrong," He moaned, falling over onto his side, his head on his mother's shoulder. "She's dead… and everything is wrong."

"Shhh," Lisa hummed, trying to calm him, but KC only cried harder. "I tried… I tried so hard. But I'm just a screw up. I always was, not matter what. I'm just like him!"

"No, KC," Lisa soothed, pulling his face towards his. "You are not your father, you're a sweet boy who's made mistakes, like any other, and you are learning from them."

"It hurts," he whimpered, letting go of the photograph, looking at Clare's from the Black and White dance back in ninth grade. "It hurts so much."

"I know," Lisa whispered, rocking her son back and forth. "I know."

Eh, good, awful? Review?

Also, I wanted to do a contest of sorts, so whoever can get this trivia point right first can get either a one shot of your pairing/character/subject choice written by me, and edit of your choice made by me or a video with your song/character choice made by me :) here it is;

Which Lakehurst boy was with Emma, Manny and Liberty?

leave your answer in a review!

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