Disclaimer: Kairan Akiyama is not the owner YGO, that title belongs to Kazuki Takahashi (lucky bastard). Arigatou-hamster to Raven-san for beta-ing.

"…" – talking

italics – thoughts

… – emphasized

/…/ – hikari to yami

/italics/ – yami to hikari

-italics- – song lyrics (all songs are from "Fallen" CD by Evanescence)

"..." – flashback (Chap. 7 and 8)

Enjoy the ride.

If I could say "I love You"

CHAPTER SIX: Metamorphosis

MOKUBA

I paced in my bedroom, braiding and unbraiding my hair as I thought. I have to tell him tonight. "Seto, hurry up!" I shouted. He and Jou had been working on their project since 7:05. I'm happy he's getting along with someone, Jou of all people; but I know something's off. "Seto, I need to talk to you," I said, knocking on the door. "Seto, let me in." I opened the door and ran to Seto's computer chair. "Nii-san, we need to talk. Now."

"Mokuba, now isn't really a good time," Seto answered, typing away as usual.

"Now is the best time," I replied. I sat beside Jou on my brother's bed. "Seto, listen to me."

He didn't even bother to turn away from his monitor. "I'm listening."

"Seto," I began, my hands going crazy in my lap. "Seto, I'm gay."

At that moment, I saw my brother see me for the very first time.

-x-

MALIK

I still can't believe that he called me over; he's never done that before. I got onto my cycle and left, leaving a note for Rashid and Isis, telling them where I'd be. My destination was within sight when my cell phone went off. "What?" I barked, killing my cycle's engine. "This better be good."

"We're swamped in Chamber Two, Malik," I heard Kisamaki say. "We really need your help."

"I can't, Kisa-san," I replied. "I'm supposed to see –"

"I'll lend you my handcuffs."

"Give me five minutes, all right?" I answered, warming my cycle up. I hung up before she could answer and pulled up into the driveway. I threw down my helmet and whipped out the spare key he gave me. I heard him shouting and ran upstairs, preparing myself for the worst.

"You hid it from me!"

"I'm pretty sure I was obvious, I just told you."

"So you've been lying to me then. What am I supposed to say to you, Mokuba? Tell me what I'm supposed to say."

"Tell me it's okay, Seto. Tell me that I'm still your little brother and that you still love me."

I'd never seen Mokuba like this; he was so upset. I went over to him and hugged him close. "I don't hurt him, Seto," I said. "If that's why you don't trust me –"

"Just get out."

The gravity of those three words hit Mokuba like the lightning of a Blue Eyes. I don't think Seto heard what he whispered as he ran out, tears streaming down his face. But I didn't need to think; the look on Seto's face was enough, he was alabaster white. I went after Mokuba and felt his shaking arms wrap around my waist as I tore off the Kaiba estate. We rode in silence, but I still heard Mokuba's hushed message clear as day.

"I hate you, Seto."

-x-

SETO

I can't believe he said it. I fell into my chair, dazed. He really said it… I stared at my hands, self-doubt taking control. If he hadn't left, would I have hit him? Would I have really hit him? I closed my eyes, like the answer was flashing in front of me. What have I done…what have I become?

"Seto, you okay?"

Oh yeah, the puppy's here. I straightened up and tried to regain my composure. "I'm fine."

"Bullshit." Jou moved from the center of my bed to the edge, sitting across from me. Your little brother just said he hated you. I'd die if Shizuka said anything like that to me." He leaned forward on his knees, trying to appear more forceful. "Look, we either talk about this big brother to big brother, or I can just back off and leave."

I moved to stand up. "I'll get the door."

"Don't bother," Jou said, standing up. "You're such a jerk, Seto."

"Wait." I was surprised that he actually stopped at the door. "You called me Seto… three times, really."

"I didn't notice," Jou replied.

"Bullshit." I stood up, stretching. "You want to talk? Fine, but not in here." I walked past him and headed for the Game Room.

"WHOA!" Jou gasped. "This is your Game Room?"

"Mokuba enjoys mindless flashing lights and artificial screams of pain." I sat in the chair by my chessboard and looked around the room. There were three televisions, each with a different game system. There were a few board games and one or two of Mokuba's stuffed toys, but nothing to go wild about. "So are we going to talk or are you going to play games?"

"Two birds with one stone," Jou answered, pulling out some Uno cards and shuffling through them. "Who deals?"

"I will, fork over the cards." I took the Uno cards from Jou and shuffled as he sat across from me. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"Anything, really," Jou replied, catching the cards I dealt. "I mean, if you don't want to talk about –"

"I hate being lied to," I interrupted. I put down two skips, on red and the other one blue and a blue draw two. "Mokuba knows that, and he lied to me."

"Maybe he just couldn't tell you," Jou suggested, drawing two cards. "Look, are you mad at Mokuba because he's gay or because he lied to you?"

"I can't care less that he's gay," I answered, placing a wild. "Green. And I'm not made, I'm disappointed that he lied to me. I would have accepted Mokuba's homosexuality, I myself –" I stopped, that was too personal.

"You what?" Jou asked, putting down a green skip and a zero.

"Forget it," I said, using another draw two. "Your move."

"Just tell me," Jou said, putting down a red draw two. "It's not like I will think any less of you than I do now."

I wrinkled my nose as Jou smiled. "You really want to know, Puppy?" I asked, drawing four cards. "I'm gay."

"What!" Jou's honey-brown eyes widened. I think he almost fell out his chair. "Excuse me!"

"I like boys," I repeated, putting down two red skips, a green skip, and a wild draw four. "Blue."

"Challenge." Jou put his cards down, staring at my last two cards. "You have a green one."

"Do I now?"

"Yeah," Jou said, raising his eyes to mine.

"Alright, let's make this interesting," I suggested. "If I have a green card, I get to kiss you. If I don't, you can take whatever you want from me or my company."

"Um…okay," Jou accepted. He reached over to my hand and looked at my cards. His eyes opened wide as he saw my green skip. "Why you –"

My lips caught Jou's words. I felt him move against my lips, coming closer. So you like it, huh? I deepened the kiss, moving one hand I had propped upon the table to run it through Jou's blonde hair. So soft… I broke the kiss and ran a hand through my own hair, watching him breath heavily, his cheeks flushed. I smiled and caressed Jou's face. I kissed Jou again, pulling him across the table and into my arms. "I think I won."