A/N: Firstly, i would like to thank you all for your patience for the next chapter to be published. I must say that real life has a way of delaying things. i had hoped that it would have been ready within a few weeks of the last chapter but my 10 month old baby got sick and had to go to hospital for a few days. She is still not well and my other 2 children got sick and so did I.
I have started back at work and am working on a new story with my beta Eddzie who I love to bits. Hopefully it won't take too long for the next chapter to be written an pblished.
I hope you enjoy this story and leave some lovin at the end. Let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight that is SM's baby. But i do own this story.
BPOV
I woke up to find Edward's arms wrapped around me and the feeling of warmth and safety that I have wanted for so long. It felt so nice to be in the arms of a man. I have longed for this feeling but I haven't allowed myself to feel like this in what feels like forever. Every time I went out for dinner with a man I would abruptly end the evening and not allow them inside my apartment. When I had Madison and was told of the complications and the fact that I will never have children, I haven't wanted to let men attach themselves to me or I to let myself because of what I can't give them.
I ever so gently slipped out of bed and grabbed a few clothes and went for a shower. I wasn't going to risk having a repeat of the night before. Once the hot spray hit me, it sent tingles down my body. I couldn't get the image of Edward in my bed out of my head. I had to refrain from giving myself some release because I didn't want him to hear me.
I wanted to sneak out and get breakfast for everyone, especially Edward, who stayed with me even though he heard my story he still stayed. He didn't leave me like Sam or my parents did all those years ago.
I was hoping that I would see Alice soon so that I could arrange to meet up with Sam. I needed to talk to him and I wanted some kind of relationship with my child. She would be my only child and I wanted to know all about her. This reminds me, I have to speak to Charlie and Renee. I need to know what they agreed to. I need to know what was said to Sam in exchange for my daughter.
I was lost in my thoughts and I didn't realise that Edward was awake and watching me until I heard his voice. "Good morning beautiful. How did you sleep?"
I felt the heat rise to my face remembering that I was asleep with him last night. "Morning, I slept fine and you?"
"Couldn't have slept better. Bella, don't take this the wrong way but I think you should tell Alice everything." I nodded in acknowledgment because I knew that I had to tell her. I couldn't keep my best friend in the dark any more. "I appreciate that you have let me in and confided in me. I know that must have been difficult. I can talk to you about your rights with regards to visitation and custody, but... I need to know what has been said between all parties. What did your parents agree to with Sam in regards to your child? I also need to know if there is any legal document that signs your baby over to Sam relinquishing your parenting rights."
"Edward, I was out of it when Madison was born because I haemorrhaged and was rushed into surgery. I honestly don't remember signing anything. I didn't want to give her up. I wanted to keep her. I was willing to let a couple of years of schooling slide by so that I could raise my daughter. My parents knew my wishes but because I was a minor they wouldn't allow the Swan name to be tarnished. Sam didn't want me after he found out I was pregnant. He told me that he was in love with Emily and she couldn't have kids. He said that he just wanted me to have the baby for him so that he and Emily can look after it. I looked so much like Emily that no one would know that it wasn't hers. She faked her pregnancy. I felt so used and I still do." A wave of tears fell over my lids, "Am I that ugly that all I'm good for is to fuck and then dump? I can't believe that after all these years that I still feel the same about Sam. I don't know if I could ever forgive him or my parents for the hell they put me through.
"I haven't let anyone in until yesterday. You are the only person I have felt comfortable to talk to. And it was a huge step for me to let you sleep in the same bed as me, let alone touch me. I have guarded myself for so long Edward that I don't know if I can let the walls I put up crumble fully. It has been over five years since I put up these walls and it is going to take a lot for the walls to come down. What I have given you is a glimpse into my world. It doesn't mean that I am totally unguarded when it comes to men and my personal life. I hope you can appreciate that!
"I was going to ask Alice to tell Sam that I would meet him. And I was going to try to talk to Charlie and Renee. I need to have answers now. Can I ask one thing Edward?" I looked up into Edward's eyes because I wanted him to see that I have truly let him in.
"Firstly Bella, you are not ugly at all. You are a beautiful woman that has been through the wringer and then some in the short time you have lived. I can't imagine what you are feeling but I can at least sympathise with you. Love, as long as you would like me to be here for you I will even if you just want me to listen or just for company and not talk.
"Secondly, I am honoured that you allowed me to lay with you just to comfort you. I know that must have been hard and I appreciate you telling me your story. I will keep it but I still think that you should tell Alice.
"Bella, I have this strong feeling that I need to protect you, if you would let me. What did you want to ask me?" Edward looked me straight in the eyes when he told me all this. I felt the need to crawl in his lap and just hold him and have him hold me.
"Edward, will you be with me when I speak to everyone. I would also like to know if you will be my lawyer and find out what we can do for me to get some sort of visitation rights. I feel as though I have known you for so long. It's like you are an old soul and we can connect on that level. I feel as though you ground me. " I couldn't believe how at ease I felt around him. I wanted him with me at all costs. Even if it was just to hold my hands while I went through everything again. "I'm just going to get breakfast for everyone so that I can tell them here instead of at a cafe. Can you get Alice and Jasper here for when I get back please? Be back soon." With that I got up and went out.
When I came back I noticed that Edward had everyone in my room. There seemed to be a satisfied look on Alice's and Jasper's face. OMG they totally had sex last night. "What's with the goofy grin Alice?" I teased.
It was good to know that I could still get a blush out of her. "Breakfasts ready, come and get it!" I exclaimed and before I could look at anyone they were all sitting around the little table eating like they hadn't eaten in a long time. While they were all stuffing their faces with food and coffee, I figured that now was just a good as any time to tell my story.
"So I figured while you are all quiet, that you should know what's been up the last few days." I looked at everyone's faces and saw different emotions on each of them. Shock on Alice's, worry on Jasper's and compassion and understanding on Edward's. I found that just by being near him, I could feel his reassurance that he wouldn't leave me. That he would do as he promised and support me through it all.
As I retold my story for Alice and Jasper, I could feel the rage Edward was emitting. Even though he had heard it all before he was seething at what I had endured. Alice was crying and Jasper's jaw had dropped and it took some time before he closed it.
Once I had finished, Alice threw her arms around me and kept repeating that she was sorry. "I so want to kick Sam's ass for you. Can I please? It would give me so much pleasure."
"Wait in line..." was Jasper and Edward's simultaneous response.
Wiping away my own tears I couldn't help but laugh at everyone's response. "I was so scared that you would leave me if you knew Alice. I know how great your friendship is with Sam. I didn't want anyone to think that I was a slut or a whore like my parents thought of me."
"There is no way I could think that of you B, you are my girl and I will always be there for you. I'm sorry that you couldn't tell anyone and had to live with it for five years. Now thinking about it, it is uncanny at how much Madison looks like you. I noticed it but I just dismissed it and thought that you looked like Emily a bit anyway. That's probably why he chose you over me. I honestly didn't know that he was seeing Emily while he was with you." She came and gave me another hug and we all sat down and discussed the next step.
I know I wanted to see Sam but I also wanted to talk to Charlie and Renee. Edward and Jasper immediately told me that it would be better to see my parents first.
~X~X~X~X~
"Why did you come back?"
That was the last thing I needed to hear from Charlie. "We need to talk and I need answers." I was surprised with the amount of determination and authority that I held in my voice.
"You can't come here and demand things. This isn't your house anymore. I have helped you enough to get settled in Seattle but that's it." Charlie looked like he was going to have an aneurism.
"Just let us in Charlie. You both owe me answers. Oh, by the way this is Edward and he is my lawyer. He is here to assess where we all stand in this huge mess you and Renee created for us all." He humphed and moved out of the doorway and let us in.
We took seats on the couch and Charlie called Renee in to talk to us as well. It did involve her too and she was a big part of this whole scenario.
After a staring match that seemed like 10 minutes, which was probably about a minute, I decided to ask the hard questions...
"After I had Madison, what did you tell Sam or agree to with Sam about custody?" I looked into Charlie's eyes to show him that I wasn't messing around. I was almost willing him to lie to me, to tell me nothing. But it didn't come.
"Isabella, what do you want me to say? You got yourself into a mess and we got you out. End of story. Why are you bringing this up anyway?" The bastard avoided my question.
"I want the truth Charlie. Yes, I got myself into a mess and I was willing to take care of my own mess. I wanted to keep the baby which you knew and completely ignored. I was able to see her for a minute before you ripped her out of my arms and gave her away. Which I recently found out was Sam. You both totally disregarded my wishes. Sam gave Madison to give me a letter informing me that she is my daughter and a constant reminder of me. He also tells me that he wants to meet me to talk about all this and that you have been visiting them. Tell me the truth!" I was practically screaming at them. I felt my face heat up in anger and I could feel five years of rage that I had bottled up come to a head.
"I told Sam that he now has custody of the baby and that you named her Madison. I at least told him what you named her." Charlie somewhat looked shocked at my outburst. He obviously thought that by telling Sam what I named my baby was supposed to give him some sort of reprieve about what he has done. I actually think that he thinks that I will forgive him now. Like Hell.
Edward spoke up before I could get another word in... "When you say that Sam now has custody what did you mean? Did you get Bella to sign a legal document relinquishing her parental rights? If so, we need a copy of these documents."
Renee got up and walked out of the room without saying a word. Charlie just stood staring at Edward like he has two heads or something. There was something amiss with Charlie and Renee's reactions.
Before he could answer Renee walked back in the room with a document in her hand. She handed it to Edward mumbling a quiet I'm so sorry which was barely audible.
I looked at the document as Edward opened it and he saw a legal disclaimer that relinquished any and all parental rights over the baby. I didn't remember signing this... I wouldn't have. I all but snatched the papers out of Edward's hands and searched for my signature. I just stood there gaping at the paper then at my parents then at Edward. He noticed the look on my face and quickly got up to wrap his arms around me. He held me for the longest time whispering soothing words in my ears... shh its ok we'll get through this... things along that nature.
I pulled away and looked at him directly in his emerald green eyes. "Edward that is not my signature. They fucking forged my signature. Is there any way I can get Madison back?" I turned to look at my so called parents seething so much that I swear you could see steam coming out of my ears... I could feel tears forming behind my eye lids and start to spill down my cheeks.
"You both fucking ruined my life. Not only did you give my child away against my will... you took my only chance at a family as well. She is the only family I have left. Did the doctors tell you that there were complications and that I can't have any more children? Did you know this and still willingly give up my only child? You are both dead to me. Be prepared to go to court because I am going to sue you both for all you have. I don't fucking care if you both have well respected names in this god forsaken town but when I'm through with you, you will want to relocate. I fucking hate both of you for destroying my life. I hope you are satisfied." With that I dropped to the floor crying to the point of hyperventilating.
Edward sat down beside me and just held me in his arms. I have never cried so much in the past few days surely I didn't have any more tears to shed. But the tears kept flowing.
I don't know how long we sat there for but it seemed like hours. Soon there was a knock on the door and I heard the familiar sound of a voice I dreaded to hear.
Sam was welcomed into the house by my mother. It sounded like she gave him a hug and this infuriated me. I am supposed to be her daughter, why is she hugging him.
I stiffened and grabbed Edward's hand tight when I heard footsteps come into the room.
"YOU! This is YOUR entire fault. Why did you have to pretend to love me and trick me into sleeping with you so that you can have a baby? You have ruined my life and the relationship I had with my parents. Did you know that they love you more than me? That they have always backed you and not me? They have basically disowned me and are visiting my daughter and yet they want nothing to do with me. What you don't know Sam is that they forged my signature on the legal documents. I didn't want to give her up... she was mine." It surprised me that I was able to say my piece to Sam in an eerily calm manner.
"Bella, I wanted to meet you to tell you that I am so sorry about not telling you that I have our baby. I did love you actually but I loved Emily more. She is my life and I did what I had to do to give her what she wanted..."
"Even if it destroyed me in the process... Am I that indispensable to you? Why did you keep this from me for so long? She is my only child and will ever be my only child and I have every intention of fighting you for her. She was taken from me without my consent. No one told me whom Madison was given to but once I saw her in Jakes room, I knew she was mine. They took her away while I was in emergency surgery. I can't have any more kids and now I want my only child back. I didn't want you to know about Madison because you basically raped me and then dumped me."
"Bella, I didn't rape you... you wanted to and..."
"And I said no and told you to stop. You kept going and..."
"But it was too late to stop. You can't be a cock tease Bella." .God. Did he just say that to me...
I was infuriated with the last comment and clenched my hands into fists by my side willing myself to breathe. All of a sudden I lost control of my body and flew towards him and started hitting him in the chest. "How dare you say that to me? How dare you treat me like shit even now? Fuck you Sam and Fuck all of you." I felt Edward pull me backwards and hold me in a tight embrace. Just willing me to calm down enough to leave.
"I think enough has been said today. I am taking these documents as they will be evidence presented in court. I suggest you get attorneys as Bella will be filing for custody of Madison. Make sure that Madison is available for Bella to see on a regular basis at the moment. You don't have legal custody of her as Bella still has parental her rights intact. Forgery is never a good thing, especially for the chief of police. See you in court." And with that Edward guided me out of the house with his arm around my waist.
"I'm sorry Edward, did I hurt our chances in court by letting my emotions get the better of me?" I was worried that I had ruined any chance I had to be with my daughter.
~X~X~X~X~
We found a park outside the hospital. No matter what I was going through I still wanted to see Jacob. I was hoping that Alice told Jacob everything so that I didn't have to.
Turning to Edward I hold onto his arm to stop him from walking through the hospital doors. I needed to talk to him.
"Edward, thank you for back there. I needed your support and I felt safe in your arms. It's not a feeling that I can fully describe but you grounded me. My body was out of control but your touch settled my mind and calmed my frustrations and nerves. I hope that makes sense. I don't want you to think that I am disregarding your relationship or your engagement. I'm not but I just wanted you to know how I felt with you around me today. I'm glad you will be my lawyer. Also, I think I should let Carlisle know about everything because I want to go back soon. I am hoping Billy and Sue agree to let me transport Jake to Seattle. Can we fight for custody of Madison from there?" I exhaled the breath I didn't know I was holding. I chanced a look into Edward's piercing green eyes to gauge his reaction.
"Bella, I find that there is chemistry between us that is unexplainable. But yes, I am still engaged so it would be wrong for me to act upon it. But I understand how you are feeling. I am happy to represent you until this is settled. Shall we go in?" I could see that there was more that he wanted to say but refrained from saying it. I have overstepped the line already so I left it alone.
Walking into Jake's room, Alice, Jasper, Billy, Sue, Emily and Madison were there. I said hello to everyone and introduced Edward to them all. I gave Jake a huge hug and asked him, Billy and Sue if we could transport him to Seattle so that I can make sure he is getting the best care to help him recuperate better.
Emily started to object but I jumped in... "You don't get to speak, you don't get to put in your opinion... you have done enough actually." I didn't know where that came from. I was just feeling so exhilarated from my outburst towards Sam and now Emily.
"Are you ok B? You seem a bit off. How did your meeting go?" Alice came up to me pushing me back out the door. Obviously she didn't want me go vent my anger towards the only mother Madison has ever known. Just as I was about to answer Alice, Emily walked out of the room.
"What is your problem Bella? I didn't deserve any of that and everyone is asking questions."
"Hate to tell you this Emily but you did deserve that. If it wasn't for you, I probably would still be able to have children because I wouldn't have gotten pregnant to Sam. You have taken my life away from me and I want it back. You have until tomorrow morning to tell Madison who I am. She deserves to know that I am her real mother and I intend on seeing her often. She was stolen from me and I want her back. You don't have her legally no matter what documents you may have signed. So I would call Sam at my parent's house and I would tell her as soon as possible because there is going to be a fight for her. The guy I walked in with is my lawyer. His name is Edward Cullen, so I would get used to that name because you will be dealing with him most of the time." With that I walked back into Jake's room, leaving Emily behind with her mouth gaping open.
I heard her talking to Alice... "Alice, I swear I didn't know..."
"Bullshit Emily. You knew and you kept it a secret from all of us. Now I know why you wouldn't look us in the face when we commented on Maddy's gorgeous looks and big brown eyes. And you let Charlie and Renee visit her. You let her call them Grandma and Granddad. You didn't say a word. I can't look at you at the moment Emily. I back Bella all the way. She has been like my sister since we were young and I believe everything she told me. Now I suggest that you call Sam like she asked and you tell Maddy before the morning and try to work something out with Bella. You have no idea what yours and Sam's scheme has done to her emotionally. You have ruined her life and I had to pick up the pieces. She thought that I wouldn't want to be her friend anymore if she told me what happened five years ago. But what you don't realise was that when she did finally tell me... which was this morning by the way... I wanted nothing more than to support her through this. If she wants to take you guys to court then I will be by her side. I will be with her every step of the way in getting what she really deserves. And she deserves Maddy! As much as you don't want to believe it, Maddy deserves to be with the most honest person I know. She needs to know her real mom and she needs to know that she was always wanted by her. I know what it's like being adopted. I need to know the same things. So I will be advocating for Madison. I will apply to the courts to advocate on her behalf. She knows me well and she will talk to me. Speak to Sam and tell her now." Alice was quite discrete in telling Emily how she felt in the hallways of the hospital. She has a lot more decorum than me I guess.
"Billy, Sue will you let me know soon what you decide about Jacob. I have to go, sorry I couldn't stay longer, but I will visit soon. I promise. I actually have to get back to work in Seattle and if you decide that Jacob will come to the hospital there, I want to travel with him and make sure he settles in properly. I was looking at driving back tomorrow afternoon." I gave everyone a quick kiss and hug bye and as I turned to leave I felt a hand tug at my pants.
"Can I have a big kiss and hug too please Bella?" Maddy asked with her big brown eyes looking hopeful.
I knelt down next to her and wrapped my arms around her in the biggest hug I could give her at the moment. To be completely honest with myself I didn't think I could let go. She was mine and this is the first time that I was holding her properly. Before I knew it tears had escaped my eyes.
All at once, all the love I had repressed after Charlie had taken her from me had come flooding back. I knew that the decision to make her a big part of my life was the right one.
I let go of Maddy and locked eyes on Emily giving her a knowing look, silently telling her that she needed to tell Maddy everything.
I gave Jake a hug and kiss on the cheek and left. I was hoping that Alice would come back to the motel telling me that I can take Jacob back to Seattle with me. I had to get out of this god forsaken town.
~X~X~X~X~
As soon as Edward and I walked into my room, I went to lie on the bed. The emotions of the day had exhausted me but also I still had a lot more tears to shed, so it seemed. I felt the bed dip down behind me and Edward's arms wrap around me. He was shushing me in my ears. It felt so good to lie in his arms like this.
Before I knew it I turned to face him. I gazed into his gorgeous emerald green eyes and gave him a sad smile.
"Thank you for your support today. I don't know if I could have gone through all that alone. Is it so wrong of me to feel like this?" I was pleading with him to say no, to say that it was ok and he felt the same.
"It's not wrong Bella..." And there it was. I got what I wanted. I needed him and I needed to touch him and feel him. He makes me feel so safe and warm and loved. My god... could I be falling for him?
"... I know what you are feeling. And there is no where I would rather be than with you comforting you like I should. In the short time I have known you, you mean a lot to me. I care about you deeply and please know that you aren't alone. I will always be here for you." His eyes showed me that he was being truthful in his statement. I could see the passion and intensity in his eyes.
I tilted my face towards him and leaned in gently for a kiss. Edward responded immediately. He pressed his lips to mine and it felt like our lips were meant to be touching and they moulded together. I took his bottom lip and sucked on it a little. He grazed his tongue over my top lip and I parted my lips giving him entrance to my mouth. Our tongues caressed each other passionately. I was pouring all my emotions in this one kiss. He had to know how I felt. How much he meant to me. How much I wanted him at this moment. Our kiss intensified throughout our being. I cupped his face and twined my fingers through his hair. He wasn't close enough.
Edward brought his hands on my back pressing me closer to him. I started unbuttoning his shirt slowly, without breaking from our kiss. Edward's hands roamed all over my back and as he was gliding his hands down my sides he grazed my breasts. I moaned in response and I could feel him smile. His touch was electrifying... even through clothes.
Edward tugged at my top and we only separated from our kiss long enough to pull my top over my head. Then he came crashing back to kiss me with more passion than before. I could feel his arousal on my thigh. Edward started kissing down my neck gently sucking with each kiss. He nibbled on my ear which sent my body on fire. I could feel myself get wetter waiting for Edward to touch me and make me fly. "Fuck, that feels so good, Edward. Ungh!"
EPOV
Bella's hands went from tugging in my hair to caressing my chest. She would run her nails up and down my chest and the feeling sent shocks all down my body. One body part in particular was receiving the feeling and standing to attention. God I don't think I could get any harder.
As I was kissing down her neck and towards her breasts, her little moans were making my dick twitch. I was straining in my pants and I needed release soon. If only I could will her hands to touch me. I nuzzled her perky breasts gently biting at one of her nipples through her bra while pinching the other with my thumb and forefinger. Fuck it, this bra has got to go!
Using my free hand l moved around to her back and undid her bra guiding the straps down her shoulders and threw it over my shoulder to the floor with our tops. I went back to sucking and biting one nipple and rolling the other and alternating until she was writhing under me. "Fuck you are so beautiful Bella. You deserve to be worshipped."
I looked into her eyes and saw a tear escape down the side of her face. "What's wrong baby?" Was I going to fast? Was I hurting her? Did she not want this? But she started it. I am just continuing and cherishing her. The way she deserves to be.
"No, it has been so long since I have been with a man..."
BANG...BANG...BANG...
"Open the door Bella and Edward" OMG Alice and Jasper are back.
We scrambled off the bed to get our clothes on. "Fucking cockblocking sons of bitches" we gaped at each other in surprise.
"Coming hold your horses" I yelled at them. Bella ran to the bathroom and started the shower to make out that we weren't doing anything wrong. If only I could be in there with her. I will have to take care of my little or should I say big problem.
I opened the door... "What's wrong? Why the banging? Can't you knock like normal people?" I was irritated... they stopped a good thing.
"Where's Bella? I have to talk to you guys!" Alice was practically jumping with anticipation of the news she was about to deliver.
"Bella is taking a shower. She should be out soon. What's going on?"
"Have to tell you together. She may be happy or she may be confused. I don't know but she needs to know and she needs to know now."
Alice went over to the bathroom door "Hey B, are you almost done? I need to talk to you about something."
"Be out in a minute," Bella replied through the door.
So there you have it... What does Alice know and is excited to tell Bella and Edward about.
FIC REC'S
Paper Cutouts by twisted Coincidence owns me at the moment.
Summary: Bella prefers the virtual to the actual, but feels herself being tugged from the safety of her online realm into the world of a rough edged Edward. This time she'll write her own story. Collab with astilbe13 AH/AU
Also The Sun by AstonMartinVanquish
"After a whirlwind romance in New York with banker Edward that ended badly...Bella and Edwards paths cross again four years later..., but this time they both have secrets to share!"
Till next time... xxx