It turned out Judy was right, a week in Bunnyburrow was exactly what Nick had needed. The last five days he had spent here had been the most relaxing he'd had in years. And even the less than relaxing times hadn't been that bad.

Things had started well enough, especially since Judy's little oral demonstration in the hospital. Due to his injuries they hadn't been able to fully explore their physical need for each other, though this hadn't stopped them "playing." One particular session had started while on the train to Judy's hometown. Nicks cheeks and ears began to heat up at the happy memory as he had used his good arm to show Judy how dexterous his long fox fingers were, while she had given on encore show of exactly what a bunny's mouth could do. The fact they were on a late night train, with the only other mammal in the far corner helped matters, meaning even though they had arrived in Bunnyburrow in the early hours of the morning, they were both very well rested and alert.

There had also been the pleasant surprise that her mother and father had actually prepared a single room for him and Judy to use while they visited. The stories Nick had told Judy of how her parents had been the ones to provide her with the fox repellent she had noticed when they first met, and had subsequently burned to ashes in a small fire back at the bridge some months back, had him slightly worried about their reactions to their daughter sleeping with him While there was small bit of awkwardness, mainly from her father Stu, who had become so flustered at the thought Nick couldn't help but find it adorable and hilarious, her mother had been far more comfortable with the situation. They'd chatted for a half-hour before being lead to Judy's old room, and had contentedly napped in each other's arms (or arm in Nick's case) until the smell of breakfast woke them a few hours later.

That had been the tensest breakfast of Nick's life.

The sheer amount of relatives Judy had was, quite frankly, ridiculous. Yes, she had told him she had 275 brothers and sisters, but he'd just assumed she was exaggerating. Most rabbit families he'd seen tended to only go to a couple of dozen siblings. He should have known she hadn't exaggerated in the slightest, this was Judy after all. Rabbits of all ages had crowded in to the banquet hall she had affectionately called 'the breakfast nook.' In truth it was more like the cafeteria back at precinct, with a long glass covered bar in front of a kitchen filled with various different foods ranging from fruits, eggs, vegetables and fried potatoes. There had been some concern from Judy's mother if they had anything that Nick would eat, which also had every single bunny in the hall go so silent, Nick could swear he could hear some of the more nervous heartbeats. After he informed him he was mostly vegetarian however, things went back to their normal chaos.

He and Judy had then spent the next two days together as she showed him around the farm, and then the town. At first Nick had been freaked out just by how quiet Bunnyburrow was, at least compared to Zootopia. While there was a huge bustle during the morning and afternoon school runs (mainly due to Judy's family, it had to be said) the rest of day was quiet. He assumed it was busier during the weekends, but here in the armpit of the week, he was on the lookout for tumbleweeds.

Te quiet had allowed for plenty of pleasant walks with Judy as his injuries healed. Hell after the second day his shoulder felt well enough for him to do without the sling for most of the day, though Judy had carried it with her in a small backpack just in case he felt the need. Despite the movement however, the injuries were still taking their toll on Nick and they found themselves back at the house quite often, a lot of the time watching old movies from Judy's collection she hadn't managed to bring with her to the city. This was fine by Nick, as he got to learn more and more about Judy's tastes in movies and shows, and found they overlapped with his quite a bit. Of course there was the cop movies and dramas, but there were also the terrible horror movies which they loved laughing at. Of a more pleasant surprise was their shared animated TV shows and movies, a holdover from Nick's truncated childhood. He'd started hustling at a very early age so never really got the chance to "grow out" of a liking cartoons, and he still watched them from time to time in his apartment. Judy meanwhile, seemed to enjoy the action orientated cartoons and movies about justice, truth and so forth, which made sense. So in between the movies where a mute psychopath would slaughter teenagers whose only sin was having sex and crime dramas involving the worst understanding of police procedure ever, there movies like Aladdie, Floatzen, and The Incredimules, and cartoons like Transfurmers, Sailor Usagi, and G.I. Doe.

Then there had been the incident two nights ago which Nick mused, was anything but unpleasant really. It had been a cool crisp night when Judy had dragged him from in front of the TV after a particulary ridiculous episode of Transfurmers (seriously, how the hell was MegaFox planning to take over the Earth with a giant purple griffin? Have it confuse the hell out of Hoptimus Prime?). She said she needed to clear her head after all "the stupid," which Nick couldn't really argue despite them both loving the show when they were kids. The cool night air had felt good on Nick's aching shoulder, allowing a bit more movement than normal. Judy had lead him to a hill towards the edges of her family farm, away from the light that dotted the landscape, and asked Nick to look up.

For the first time since he was a kit, Nick saw the universe.

Away from the lights of the city, the night sky was a show for the entire world. He could see the constellations, Judy pointing her favourites, along slight colours of nebulae in various parts of the sky. He even saw a shooting star and tracked it down to the horizon, where his eyes rested on Judy, staring up in rapt attention as a flood of happy childhood memories raced through her. Nick tried to look back to the stars, but found his gaze constantly drawn to her. She was wearing tight denim shorts and white vest under an open pink flannel shirt, and her eyes reflected the stars above.

A few minutes past before Judy realised he wasn't looking up. She turned and faced the fox. "Nick, what are you doing? You have the entire universe to look at here."

"If it's a choice between you and the universe Judy, I think I made the right choice."

As cheesy as the line was, it turned out to be exactly the right thing to say. Judy launched herself at Nick and he duly allowed himself to be her landing pad. Minutes passed as clothes were torn off and the two made love under the stars for the first time. Judy did more than her fair share of the work due to his injuries, but Nick had vowed to make it up to her when he was fully healed. In the meantime, he would more than enjoy Judy's almost boundless stamina.

In fact, there was so much of it that hours later, the two were so spent they fell asleep on the hill. Nick would have been perfectly fine with this, if not for they were woken by a group of Judy's brothers and sister who had been sent out searching for the two because Judy's grandfather, affectionately known as Pop-Pop, was convinced Nick had devoured her.

"Only a little," was the fox's reply, which made Judy so embarrassed that she started running back to the farm to calm her grandfather down. It took her family a good minute to catch up and remind her to put her clothes back on.

Of course, this had gotten around the burrow within an hour and was the talk of the home for the rest of the day, which was actually to Nick's benefit. While most of Judy's family seemed perfectly fine with her dating, and now sleeping with a fox, he could tell others were less than enthused. To their credit though even they seemed to warm up him after a the incident. One of Judy's sisters later explained to Nick that getting caught in embarrassing sexual situations was a rite of passage for a Hopps, one that Judy had been putting off for some time. The fact that it actually finally happened made them remember that despite all the heroic tales from the big city, Judy was still a Hopps, warts and all. With this and how people began to notice how good Nick and Judy were as a couple, it eased a lot of the remaining tension. Even Pop-Pop had started to only threaten to castrate the fox if he hurt his precious granddaughter, rather than just on general principle. You take your victories where you can, Nick mused.

However, he was less successful some of the other residents of Bunnyburrow.

The day had started pleasantly enough, Judy and Nick had risen and found Nick's shoulder was feeling well on the mend, though still stiff. So he chose to try and forego the sling for the entire day, if at all possible. With that encouragement, Judy offered to take him in to town and treat him to a few delicacies from Gideon's bakery. She had never seen someone get dressed so fast in her entire life.

After a light breakfast to save room, the couple took the long way in to town, Nick wanting to burn a decent amount of calories to make up for the gorging he was sure to do. He tried not to rush, mainly because they had threaded their fingers together as they walked hand in hand, and Nick could easily outpace Judy's normal walk if not careful.

They had just arrived in town and were approaching Gideon's bakery when a cry of indignation rang through the streets.

"Hey what do you think you're doing!?" came the shout. At first Nick and Judy just stopped wondering where this commotion was, and turned to see an elderly rabbit couple tottering up to them, righteous fury in their eyes.

"Huh?" Judy said, perplexed at the arthritic rabbits sputtering. "What are you talking about?"

"Why are you two holding hands?" the female rabbit demanded, her hand shaking either due to anger or as a way of making sure she hadn't died yet. Judy was temporarily stumped, unable to fathom the bluntness of the question. She rallied after a few seconds. "What, you never seen and girl hold her boyfriend's hand before?"

"That's not natural! You shouldn't be mixing the races like that!" the male rabbit said, his shouts drawing looks from the other town residents who were just trying to go about their business. One in particular, a black female sheep, had actually stopped to watch.

"Judy, who the hell are these…mammals?" Nick asked. Judy looked to him and saw the same expression she had seen Nick use whenever a criminal had tried to take a swipe at her. Mouth held in a thin line, teeth clench as he struggled not to go for the jugular.

"Honestly? I have no idea, never seen them in my life," Judy said, wondering how she was going to explain the blood stains later.

"Oh good! That means I don't have to hold my tongue and try not to offend a family member!" Nick exclaimed, his smile becoming very genuine and showing every single sharp tooth. He looked over the, making their eyes wide as they focused on his fangs, and wondered if he should go in for the full hustle and or lecture.

They're not worth the effort, he ultimate decided, and chose his words for their brevity and impact. "I don't care what you two say or think. You're probably going to be dead within the next couple of years, which means your opinions and words will be forgotten and mean absolutely nothing. Judy? I believe pie was mentioned?" he said as he turned back to his girlfriend, who had a curious mix of shock, admiration, and worry in her eyes. Meanwhile, the black sheep who had been watching them burst out laughing. The rabbits, who had remained deathly silent, flushed red with anger, and tried their best to walk away with dignity, ultimately failing.

"Oh dear God Judy, you have no idea how long I've wanted to give those two a piece of my mind, the sheep said as she approached Nick, offering her hand, which he didn't take. "Sharla, me and Judy go way back."

"Sharla!" Judy shouted as she grabbed the fluffy mammal by the mid-riff and actually managed to lift her off the ground in a hug before Sharla could bring her hand back from the awkward moment.

"Why didn't you say anything yourself then?" Nick said, before covering his mouth with his hand. The statement had come out accusing, something that was far beyond the norm for him. He looked over and noticed Judy's worried expression again. Though this was stopped by a bleat of "Uhm, Judy, could you put me down now?" from Sharla, causing Judy to fuss and put her friend down gently.

Ok gotta fix this and move on, Nick thought, and smoothly adjusted his collar. "Sorry, I guess they got to me a little. The name's Nick Wilde." He offered his hand to Sharla, putting on 'winning smile #12' (subtle embarrassment and genuine enthusiasm), who took it after a moment's hesitation, but gripped it gratefully. Nick glanced over to Judy, who had begun wearing that worried expression again. The words "we need to talk about this later," seemed to be form between them.

"Oh I know you Mr Wilde. "

"Call me Nick, please," Nick insisted trying to make up for his earlier rudeness.

"Oh, OK, Nick. Judy's family have been doing nothing but talking about you in Gid's place lately."

"Hmm, been hanging around there lately a lot have you Sharla?" Judy asked, her eyebrow raising in mock accusation. The response caused a definite response in Sharla, the lighter skin around her mouth taking on a very definite shade of red. "I mean I thought you were a teacher…"

"I have my lunch there a lot OK?" Sharla said, Nick decided to intervene lest the poor woman's wool burst in to flame. "Judy was just taking me to lunch there, care to join us? She's paying. I'd love to hear some embarrassing stories from when she was at school."

"Oh I got a million of those! Like the time when she tried to arrest the principal for littering."

"It was a flagrant litter law violation and shut up!"

"Judy, the papers he was carrying got caught in the wind."

"Well he should have picked them up faster…" the banter between the two old friends calmed Nick down. He was still musing on his uncharacteristic outburst when they finally reach Gideon's bakery. Judy had brought samples from her visits home for him before, and talked about the run in she had had with the baker when they were kids, but she seemed rather friendly with him now. Nick wanted to give Gideon a chance, though concerns over his reactions had him fighting an urge to just call the entire thing off. Got to be normal, keep it cool.

The group entered the bakery which was larger than Nick expected, with a decent amount of space inside and out for seating. It had a very rustic aesthetic with wooden chairs, pastel colours and large windows letting plenty of light in. It was also empty, the group seemingly having missed the breakfast rush allowing the proprietor to step out back for a minute, leaving the counter unmanned. A shout of "Be right out!" came from an open door behind the cash register and a dumpy fox covered in flour stained overalls reversed through it. "Sorry about that folks, just bringing out a fresh batch of blueberry chocolate pies. What can I…" Gideon stated as he turned and froze. "Well Judy Hopps, aren't you a sight for sore eyes! Sharla too! Gimme one second," he grunted as he placed thew steaming set of pies under the counter for display. He dusted himself and made his way to the group. Nick first thought was he was going to be "boyfriendy" and jealous after Gideon went to hug Judy…but instead the baker sheepishly (hah!) hugged Sharla, then Judy. Well, there's one thing I don't need to worry about at least. He calmed down instantly, though his chest did still feel a little heavy, he managed to keep his cool long enough for Gideon to distract him.

"Well I guess you must be Judy's beau. Gideon Grey," the portly baker said and held out his hand. Nick shook it with the enthusiasm of someone who knows to be kind to someone who prepares your food.

"I know, Judy's told me all about you," Nick said, and got a worried look in response. The penny dropped and he wondered if he should make a show of not having ill feelings towards the fox who had hurt her as a child. OK that would be a bit of a lie, but I've told worse.

"I would just like to say that I was a foolish aggressive jerk when I was a child with a mountain of emotional and personal issues to deal with and if you feel so inclined to defend your lady's honour I will gladly take my whuppin'"

And with that all thoughts of hating Gideon fled Nick's mind. The way he just blurted that all out, the practised pace, every word carefully selected, his stance, the fact he seemed to have a very slight limp on his right leg spoke volumes of a mammal who had had a very hard life and was doing his best to make up for it. Even in his tetchy state pf Nick couldn't help but like Gideon. Still, that didn't mean he couldn't use this to his advantage.

"Gimme one of those blubbery chocolate pies and everything's forgiven," he said. Judy immediately glared at him. "What? A pie or a whuppin'? I know which I'd choose."

"He's kidding Gideon," Judy said as the baker started to make his way to the pies he just baked. "Though we will take one of those pies, along with a menu" she said reaching for her wallet.

"Now you just put that away Judy," Gid said, raising a hand. "The least I can two for Zootopia's two heroes is give them a few viddles on the house!" He turned to Sharla and added "And their guest." Sharla's muzzle started to redden again.

"No I insist on paying!" Judy said, fumbling with her wallet. Nick chuckled and placed an arm around her shoulder. "Fluff, if the nice baker wants to give us free food, it would be rude to decline." He leaned closer and whispered so low only she could hear. "Besides, I think we can pay them back by arranging a double date, hmm?" He motioned his head to Sharla, and the bunny looked at the blushing sheep and nodded knowingly.

The group sat down and enjoyed a bevy of baked goods, occasionally interrupted as Gideon had to serve customers until his friend and employee Travis arrived to prepare for the afternoon rush. After two hours, Judy and Nick left as Sharla and Gideon continued chatting away, having managed to persuade and arrange the two to visit them in Zootopia in a couple of weeks' time.

"They'll make a cute couple," Judy said, hugging Nick's arm as they started their stroll back to the farm. "Though not as cute as us, I think."

"So, I'm allowed to say the C word in reference to us?" Nick asked. Judy rolled her eyes and said "You can use it around me but no one else. Got it?"

"It's not worth using for anyone else," Nick said, causing Judy to hug his good arm a little tighter in response. After a while, he felt her arm slacken. "So, Nick…I think we need to talk."

"Uhm, Judy? We've been dating for just over a week, it's a bit early for that talk isn't it?" Nick said, feeling his chest tighten. Stay cool, it's nothing.

"Yeah not that kind of talk Slick," she said, hugging his arm again. "I mean, I know you're going through hell right now, and I can't imagine all the emotions you feel, but I'm a little worried. You haven't been your usual self lately. You're usually so controlled. I know things get to you, and you always tried to show that it didn't. I mean, yes that old couple deserved the verbal smack down, but Sharla? I'm glad you apologised, but it was so unlike you."

"I'm fine Carrots," Nick said, while internally he started screaming. A thousand thoughts started colliding in his head as he felt that hated heat in his chest again. She said you haven't been yourself, does that mean she doesn't like who you're becoming? Does it mean she might not love you anymore? Is this actually happening or is it the anxiety talking? Is she going to leave me? I am actually crazy or just going through a rough time? Why can't I control this? What if I never get this under control? What if I have a panic attack when Judy needs me the most? Would she be safer without me?

"Nick, are you OK? You're panting…"

Shitshitshit! OK don't panic, just calm down, think happy thoughts. Think of Judy, think how you'll never hurt her, never let her down. But just because I never mean to doesn't mean I won't. Dammit, stay focused! Keep this in, show her you can keep this under control!

"Really I'm fine Fluff." There that should do it. Force yourself to relax…wait how can you force yourself to relax? Whatever, just do it! Fuck, I'm still panting!"

"Nick, stop, walking a second and sit down! You're panicking! Look I didn't mean to upset you…" Judy continued starting to tug on his arm as he refused to slow down

GODDAMMIT NOW SHE THINKS IT'S HER FAULT! I DON'T DESERVE HER! I'M HURTING HER! GOTTA MAKE THIS RIGHT, TELL HER NOTHINGS WRONG, MAKE HER UNDERSTAND! SHOW HER YOU CAN BE STRONG THAT YOU DON'T NEED HER TO TAKE THIS BURDEN ON!

"I SAID I'M FINE!" Nick roared, and shoved Judy away from him. The shock on her face was horrible, he felt physical pain, worse than when he was shot. She stumbled and tripped over her feet falling face first to the road, her head hitting the asphalt with a thud. The sound was small, but to Nick it was like thunder. Judy groaned in pain as blood flowed from a wound where she had hit her head. She started wiping blood from her eye as she tried to recover.

"JUDY! I'm…oh God..." Nick spluttered. NO! IHURTHERIHURTHERIHURTHERIHURTHERIHURTHER! RUN! GET AWAY FROM HER BEFORE YOU DO IT AGAIN! YOU DON'T DESERVE HER YOU FUCKING IDIOT OF A FOX! YOU HURT THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A GODDAMN FUCK-UP AREN'T YOU? RUN! GET AWAY FROM HER BEFORE YOU HURT HER AGAIN!"

His heart was hammering inside a chest of fire, he could hardly breath. He stayed just long enough to see Judy start to pick herself up off the ground, wiping blood from her eyes, and ran. His vision blurred by tears and darkness, his breathing almost useless as he felt weak, but he forced his legs to keep going as fast as he could. He thought he heard his name from behind, and the sound of a small body stumbling over again, but he didn't dare look back. He needed to get away! He needed to get away from her so she would be safe! That's all he knew. His head pounded as he tried to remember the way back to the train station, damn near sprinting all the way. He didn't know where he was, only that he needed to be somewhere else. He ran for eternity, kicking up dust as his breathing became harsher and harsher, and heard a familiar sound. The metal on metal of a train coming closer. He quickly looked around and spotted the station in the distance. His eyes were straining and his feet had begun throbbing due to how hard he was running, but he needed to get on that train. He didn't care where it went, as long as it got him away from Judy!

Within a few minutes, he had closed on the station. He swore he heard something like his name behind him but his head was hurting too much to focus on anything but getting away. He saw the train on the platform, people milling about. Another sound came from behind, something like "NICK STOP!" but he couldn't understand. He just tried to head for the nearest door when he suddenly felt something around his ankles and found himself falling towards concrete platform. He turned trying to protect his head but landed on his injured shoulder, the pain striking him like lighting. The pain focused his mind, and part of the world started coming back in to focus. He looked around and found himself surrounded by three bunnies and a deer, all holding him down. He didn't recognise the rabbits as Judy's family and tried to struggle free, his overriding thought still to escape, to keep Judy safe. He finally started hearing their voices.

"Ha! Don't worry Jude! We got this criminal fox for you!" one of the rabbits said, keeping him pressed down. "No one escapes from the law on our watch."

"YOU GET OFF HIM THIS FUCKING SECOND ROGER BUCKSON OR I WILL ARREST YOU FOR ASSAULTING A POLICE OFFICER!" Judy's voice roared, filled with rage and scorn.

"But you were chasing…"

"HE'S HAVING A PANIC ATTACK YOU GODDAMN WASTE OF FUR! LET GO OF HIM RIGHT NOW!"

"But he…!"

"THAT'ST IT!" Suddenly Nick felt one of the set of paws on him disappear, followed swiftly by the others and a sense of space around him. After a few seconds, he rolled on to his back, his chest still burning and his shoulder throbbing. He Judy haranguing one of the rabbits, his arm locked behind his back as he squirmed in her grasp. She looked over to him, a streak on blood drying over her eyes and tossed the buck aside, running up to him. She immediately wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight, which caused the pain in his chest to start subsiding. Her scent filled his nostrils and he found himself breathing slowly to take as much in as possible.

"It's OK Nick, everything's fine," Judy whispered as she adjusted her position, moving up slightly and started stroking his head. The motion didn't dull the pain, but it took his mind off it. He started to see clearly again and looked to Judy, her beautiful eyes just staring at him with concern and love and…yes a little fear. But he somehow sensed that it wasn't fear for herself. It was for him.

"I'm so sorry…" he tried to say, but his throat almost crushed the words before they came out. It actually hurt to speak.

"Nothing to be sorry for, it was an accident," she said. She brought her muzzle to his and kissed him, longingly. He responded in kind, her lips giving him an anchor to hold on to. After it finished they just sat, a crowd around them trying to figure out just what the hell was going on.

So much for not letting them see things get to you. Nick thought. As if reading his mind. Judy whispered to him. "Just ignore them, they don't matter. You never have to be afraid of showing me what's going on, no matter where we are, OK?" Nick nodded slowly as he focused on Judy. She filled his whole world and it was exactly what he needed.

"Judy?"

"Yes Nick."

"I think I'm really going to need that counselling."

"I know Slick, I know. But I'll be with you through every step of the way. You're not getting rid of me that easily."

"I don't deserve you," Nick said, as more tears started flowing from his eyes.

"Hey, that's not your decision to make. I decide who deserves me, and that is you. Besides, you're too good in the sack to give up so soon…" she said, her ears reddening again. Despite himself, Nick found himself laughing at the last bit.

"OK Fluff. I promise to give you as much fox fucking as you can handle…"

"AHEM!" a voice cut in. The pair turned and noticed large jaguar woman, her hand clasping that of her cub.

"Hi Mrs Clawson," Judy waved shyly

"Mommy? What's fox fucking?"

Notes:

This was a hard chapter to write for a few reasons. It seems to be that I tend to have my most creative spurts of writing while something horrible is happening. Slightly worrying I think you'll agree.

The other is that a lot of what I describe happening here, especially the words and thoughts I attribute to Nick, is partly autobiographical. The way his thoughts come across (such as alternative between "I" and "you" in his panic attack, the actual wording of those thoughts is something I've experienced during my own panic attacks (though not caused by PTSD, which I have never suffered from). I've had other issues that had lead me to go to therapy on and off over the last couple of years, and caused strain in my marriage. Nothing physical, I have never struck my wife, but horrible, petty, ugly words have been used and they took their tool. Thankfully I've gotten the help I've needed, and while I still stumble, we are much happier in our marriage than we have been for some time, quite close to the newly-wed stage in fact.

This story is actually being used as a tool for my healing, and has veered off wildly from where I expected to take it, but for the better I feel. It allows me to put in to word some thoughts that are painful to think about, in a sort of parallel to the real world.

Yes, I am actually a four foot talking fox.

Actually what I mean by that is the relationship Judy and Nick have in the movie is very similar to how my wife and I started out as good friends, and we became something far more. It also helps me draw parallels with our relationship in another way, that being our marriage is interracial. I'm a six foot four white and red-headed/ginger Briti, she's a 5 foot 3 Latina from America. The scene with the two old rabbits? That has actually happened to us, and is almost word for word the conversation (especially Nick's angry response). The "play" on the train also happened, though it was on a coach passing through New York.

Because of the head-canon parallels I ship WildeHopps hard, and as I've been writing this story, it's changed dramatically and been a useful tool to help myself get things in a structured way, which is one of the hardest things to do when you're trying so hard for things to get back to normal. I'm having Nick go through the stages a lot faster than I did in real life, it took me over a year to admit I needed help, and longer to find the "right" help. What I hope this doesn't do is cheapen how difficult it can be to deal with mental problems, especially if you don't allow yourself to accept that and don't get the help. Luckily Nick's a fictional character and can go through these revelations a lot faster than I could.