Ami felt good. She had finally convinced Gaara to take a few days off from work—with the backing of the counsel who had also noticed that he had seemed either very stressed or sick for the past few weeks. Temari had managed to come in from Konoha after both Ami and Kankuro wrote to her about how Gaara seemed to be under a lot of strain. The letters were quite different however, with Ami unable to tell what was bothering Gaara because he had refused to speak with her about it, and Kankuro being able to tell Temari exactly what was going on.
With Temari back, it almost seemed as if things were back to the way they used to be. Both of her brothers and Ami were happy for her, being able to move to Konoha and live with her husband Shikamaru. However, that didn't quite change the fact that it was a very big shift from the way things used to be, and they still needed some time to get used to the change, especially since it hadn't been more than three months since the wedding.
At the moment however, Temari and Kankuro were out and about taking care of the meetings and errands that Gaara was supposed to do, leaving him behind at home to get some much needed rest.
Ami walked over to his room and let herself in, chuckling when she saw him reading, his face scrunched up in what she was almost certain was annoyance at being made to stay home for a day. "What's wrong Gaara? Angry that you can't be going to meetings with people that you don't like and do boring paperwork?" she rolled her eyes as his expression only grew more annoyed at her words.
Honestly, she could understand why he didn't enjoy being made to stay home, but her sympathy had started to run out, with annoyance and frustration taking its place. It wasn't as if she wanted him to be under whatever stress was causing all of this, but she couldn't help but feel that it wouldn't have escalated to this level if he'd told her about whatever it was that was bothering him. If he would do that then surely they could figure out how to fix it together.
"I don't understand why so many of you think I'm sick. There is nothing wrong with me at all." Dog-earing his page in the book—repressing the urge to snap at her. He already felt bad enough about the fact that this situation had gotten so out of hand, the fact that Ami and Kankuro had convinced Temari that she needed to come back home on his behalf didn't help, and certainly being made to stay home only made things worse.
The woman gave the man before her an incredulous look, "Really? There's nothing wrong with you? Don't lie to me Gaara, there's definitely something wrong with you!" she took a moment, squeezing her eyes shut and tried to take a deep breath to calm down.
Now wasn't a good time to snap at him, even though she certainly wanted to. Ami sat herself down next to him on the bed, "Look, I'm not just your keeper—I'm your friend. But it's hard to look out for you, as a friend or as a keeper, when you won't talk to me about something that's wrong! There's got to be at least a little bit of communication for us to function, Gaara!" she sucked in a breath, Ami quickly found that despite her wish to be calm it was near impossible to do so. It would seem that all the frustration and worry from the past few weeks was finally bubbling to the surface.
Gaara stared at her for a few moments, feeling the words he wanted to say simply get stuck in his throat. Why was this so hard? He was the Kazekage and he couldn't tell a woman that he had feelings for her. He had faced demons; S-ranked criminals, his dead father and he couldn't talk about a simple crush. If he wanted to be introspective, Gaara would note the fact that the issue seemed to go beyond him simply being afraid of her reaction. More likely than that would be that the true problem lied with him being afraid to open up. Still, after several nights in a row of more sleep deprivation than usual, Gaara didn't entirely feel like being introspective. Nor did he feel like being lectured at by someone who wasn't that great at communicating either.
Sure, he hadn't told her what was really bothering him, but she hadn't told him how much that had been weighing on her mind, which really just led him to believe that neither of them were good at talking about how they felt. Still, he didn't want to tell her that. Gaara's gut reaction told him that doing so would be more likely to start a fight than anything else.
Ami had a point though; this was getting out of control. Perhaps coming clean would help him focus and get back to his normal self. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Gaara steeled himself for what he was about to say and the possible consequences of it. "It's not a huge problem—it's all just gotten out of hand." He looked towards her, and realized that he wouldn't be able to put this off any longer. "I have feelings of a… romantic nature for you, and it has been hard to deal with for a variety of reasons. I apologize, I didn't mean for this to happen, I thought that if I let it be for long enough that the feelings would go away, but that approach did not work like I hoped it would. "
Ami stared at him wide eyed for a very long time—processing what he just said. "You… wait… what?" running a hand through her hair, he felt the same way? She had known him, protected him, been friends with him for years and she hadn't known that he had feelings for her. For a moment she wondered if she really knew Gaara as well as she thought that she did.
She'd long thought about how she would react if her feelings for Gaara were reciprocated, and she'd believed that her first outward reaction would be happiness. Now that it was occurring though, Ami found that her feelings were mixed. Sure, it was a good thing that Gaara had feelings for her as well, but the fact that said feelings were behind the frustration of the past few weeks made her more annoyed than anything else. Realizing she had been silent for far too long, and that Gaara was staring at her expectantly, Ami finally brought herself to speak, "I feel the same way Gaara." The relief he felt was visible, with Ami able to see him relax.
The redhead didn't really know how to react to all of this; he'd been too cautious about getting his hopes up to really consider what they would do if she felt the same way. Feeling frozen almost, Gaara tried to decide on what to do. His face pinched in thought, Gaara found himself quite aware of the fact that despite they both had feelings for each other, that didn't change their lack of communication in this matter. Finally, Gaara rested his hand atop Ami's, not quite able to muster up the courage for more contact than that.
"What do we do now?" he felt almost foolish for asking it, Gaara had a sense that in most cases you weren't supposed to ask that and instead you and your romantic interest were supposed to glide worry free into being in a relationship. In this case however, it didn't seem like it would be that easy. Their relationship thus far was more business oriented than anything else, even if it did originate from Ami wanting to protect him. This wasn't to mention the simple fact that the whole reason they admitted their feelings to one another was because their lack of commutation up to that point had forced them to. That certainly didn't seem very healthy to Gaara, which was probably saying something with his lack of experience in that area.
Ami squeezed his hand as she thought, "Honestly, I'm not all that sure." Her brow furrowed as she thought, she knew what she wanted, more than anything she wanted to be with him, but Ami didn't want to ignore everything that had just happened. She looked at him with a small frown, taking in the bags under his eyes. It was still a bit surprising to her that this entire situation had snowballed so far. Ami hadn't seen Gaara look so tired since the last Kage Summit, and it pained her to see him like again over something like this. "Honestly Gaara, I think we could be together, but I think we'll also have to work on some stuff. Before any of that though, you have to get some rest. I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but you look like hell. We'll have to talk about this stuff, but I think more than anything else you need some rest."
He felt like hell, though he wasn't about to admit that. Gaara had the distinct feeling that a nap was in his immediate future. Using his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, the man gave a small nod in response to Ami's words. "That sounds like a good idea." The thought that he'd have to start being more upfront about his emotions was a bit daunting, but Gaara allowed himself to put off that for a little while. Sleeping would probably help him think a bit better as well, or at the very least it would make the discussion that lied in store much easier than it would be in his current state.
As Ami readied herself to stand up to leave and allow him to get some rest, Gaara found himself squeezing her hand gently, "Would you mind staying?" he could literally feel his cheeks begin to flush as he spoke—there was something about this that made him feel strangely vulnerable. It certainly wasn't the most pleasant sensation, but Gaara was determined to muster through it. To say that he wasn't great at communicating or showing affection was an understatement, and he was able to readily accept that about himself. Both things made him more uncomfortable than he liked to admit, but if he was going to be with Ami Gaara knew very well that now was the time to start working on getting over both of those things.
The best way to do just that was to start facing his fears, and allowing himself to be vulnerable to Ami seemed like the perfect place to start.
It was easy to see the surprise on her face at the question— in all the years that she'd known him, Gaara had always been a very private and cautious person. Which meant that when it came to him sleeping when he was essentially defenseless, he didn't like for people to be around him. Even Ami as his bodyguard was typically asked to guard the door, rather than be in the same room as him. She wondered for a moment why he was asking her this before deciding that it didn't matter all that much compared to the show of trust he was displaying at the moment. "Sure—I can stay if you want me to. You've got to go to sleep though, alright?"
There was a nod from Gaara as he laid down on his bed, quick to find that he was so tired that he'd begun to drift off as soon as his head hit the pillow. Initially he had believed that he would be at least a bit uncomfortable or feel too vulnerable to fall asleep quickly with her there. However he found himself more comforted than anything else, and managed to fall asleep with a smile as Ami laid her hand atop his head and gently ran it through his hair.
For a bit, Ami felt just a bit strange as she watched Gaara fall asleep. It didn't take her long to realize that this was the first time she'd seen him do just that. Honestly it almost seemed strange. She was used to the Gaara who worked like crazy, who spent most of his days in council meetings. To see him looking peaceful was like watching a storm roll into the Sand Village, beautiful but just the slightest bit disconcerting.
At the moment, she did her best to disregard that thought. After their conversation, as Ami looked back to what had been happening the past few weeks was beginning to piece together like a puzzle. The way he had reacted to the council pushing him to get married. How he had seemed almost upset when she'd accepted that date with Itetsu. What had happened when they'd gotten back from her birthday dinner. That event in particular made much more sense. Originally she'd gotten the sense that he'd been about to kiss her, but had disregarded that thought as nonsense. Now though she had a feeling that she'd been correct.
Ami couldn't exactly discuss the topic with Gaara at the moment however, not when he was finally getting some rest. For now she made herself be content with leaning back against the headboard, her hand resting atop Gaara's head, and Ami letting herself drift off into a half-sleep.
Temari didn't know what she expected when she walked into her youngest brother's room, but Gaara asleep with Ami dozing off next to him was definitely not it. She knew how light of a sleeper both of the couple could be, so the eldest sand sibling did her best to keep her voice down as she motioned Kankuro to come over to her, "Kankuro! I think they might be together!" it wasn't in Temari's nature to make assumptions, but she really couldn't think of any other reason that Gaara and Ami would be like this. Sure, they were pretty close, but given Gaara's propensity to keep people at an arm's length and Ami's natural inclination to let things be, the two of them deciding to nap together for no real reason seemed quite unlikely.
For now, despite the fact that she wasn't able to confirm or deny her suspicions, she found herself relaxing just a bit. It was hard being away from Suna, even if it meant she was now with the man that she loved, her natural predisposition to worry about her brothers and her friends here had not gone away. When she'd gotten the letters from Kankuro and Ami, it certainly didn't help that much. Regardless, the thought that everything would be alright soon helped to soothe her worries quite a bit, though she wondered if this would mean that Ami might stop being his bodyguard or if their professional relationship would have to change to accommodate a romantic one. Deciding that it was a bit too premature to be considering these possibilities, Temari nudged Kankuro towards the door to make sure he got a good look at the pair on the bed.
The brunette man peered in, seeing Gaara and Ami together he smiled wide "Seriously? That's great!" He let out a soft laugh as he saw Ami's head shoot up, her expression one of weary annoyance with just a tad bit of embarrassment. He didn't feel the need to acknowledge that fact however, and pressed onward, "Are you two together now or something?"
Ami did not attempt to hide the glare on her face, though she did do her best to keep her voice down. Like herself, Gaara was a very light sleeper and she certainly didn't want to wake him up right when he was finally getting some rest. She also didn't want to let his siblings wake him up yet either. She took care to keep her voice soft, hardly above a whisper, "It's complicated." Her frown only deepened as she watched the two siblings roll their eyes—sure that obviously wasn't the answer they wanted, but it was the truth. "We're going to talk about it later. After he gets some sleep."
Kankuro felt that was more of a cop out than anything else, though he couldn't say he was terribly surprised that they'd put off talking about it given their lack of will to talk in the first place. Regardless, he was still happy to hear that at least some headway had been made with this whole fiasco, and hoped that soon enough this entire thing would be part of the past. He was more inclined to let people sort things out themselves, but Gaara and Ami had been so terrible at doing just that that he'd found himself very tempted to jump in and intervene.
It was nice to know that it wouldn't be necessary.
He flashed Ami a grin, despite the annoyance he'd felt these past few weeks towards the duo, at the end of the day he still approved. Kankuro considered Ami a good friend and he knew that she'd have Gaara's best interests at heart, especially if they began a relationship. "Good job. We'll leave you two alone." With a small nudge of his elbow to his sister's side, Kankuro walked away from the doorway and back downstairs with Temari quick to follow.
Ami watched as Temari slowly and quietly closed the door before leaving with her brother, and let out a long sigh. The reaction of Gaara's siblings hadn't been something on the forefront of her mind, but now that she saw them react positively to what was going on she felt a large and surprising sense of relief. Despite being friends with Gaara for a relatively short period of time when compared to how long she'd been protecting him, Ami had been friends with Temari and Kankuro longer. When they were young, Gaara had done his best to ignore her after he realized that he probably wouldn't be able to kill her. Temari and Kankuro on the other hand had been fairly friendly, though as Ami looked back on it she had a feeling they were only doing that because they'd thought that she'd end up getting murdered by their younger brother and felt bad for her. Even though she was closest to Gaara, she still cared what the two of them thought, and wanted them to approve. From what she saw, it appeared that they did.
She cast a glance down at the still sleeping Gaara, thinking back to how much things had changed. If she'd been told as a little girl when she'd begun looking after Gaara that the two of them would develop feelings for each other she would have laughed. As much as it pained her to admit this, she had been of the popular opinion that Gaara wasn't able to get close to people.
It was surprising really, how much things could change over the years.
Time passed quickly enough, with Gaara staying asleep for a few more hours and Ami dozing on and off by his side. Soon enough Temari was calling upstairs that it would be time to eat in just a little bit, and the duo were found themselves stirring awake. Despite Gaara being more deeply asleep, Ami seemed just a bit more disoriented when she jolted awake, having hardly been asleep in the first place. Thinking at first that something was wrong, Ami almost fell out of the bed in her rush to get into a defensive position. Gaara was quick to grab her arm to make sure she didn't roll off. "It's just Temari. Don't worry." Her reaction didn't surprise him at all, it was fairly typical for her to do that when she woke up.
When he was certain that she'd come to enough and that she wouldn't roll off the bed, Gaara released her arm and sat up, rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn. Despite having been asleep for what he was pretty sure was a few hours he didn't feel all that groggy like he'd expected. He felt more alert than he had when he'd gone to bed, which really just made him think that napping had been the right choice. Although he sensed that he would need to get multiple good night's sleep to feel all the way back to normal, this seemed like a good place to start. "I think you were right about getting some sleep, Ami."
"I was?" her words were almost drowned out by the sound of her yawning, still just a bit confused. For the most part she hadn't been quite aware that she'd been asleep in the first place, and when she'd awoken it had been just a bit difficult to realize what room she was in simply because she'd never slept in Gaara's room before. Still, once his words sink in Ami grinned just a bit—it was good to know that not only was she right, but that her advice had helped.
Once Ami woke up a bit more she rolled out of the bed and stretched, finding herself just a bit embarrassed by the fact that her first reaction upon waking was to think that they were being attacked. Perhaps she'd have to start working on that. Regardless she flashed Gaara a wide grin, holding out her hand to help him out of bed, "So I take it you're feeling better then?"
With a nod, Gaara reached out and took her hand, pulling himself out of bed. He wondered if this ought to be more awkward since they'd told one another how they felt, but like most of his conversations with Ami everything right now felt normal. "It did, I think I'll probably need to get a few more good nights sleep though to get all the way back to normal." He frowned just a bit—honestly he wasn't sure how long the conversation they needed to have would be, and he wasn't certain if he should bring it up now while they still had a few minutes, or wait until after dinner. "Should we—should we talk now?"
"Yeah—we can talk about it now, if you'd like." The smile on her face faded just a bit as she thought. "I think we can be together, I don't think it'll be necessarily easy because we work together, but I think if we try hard to communicate I think it ought to work out." Seeing Gaara nod at her statement made her feel a bit better, though she felt compelled to bring up something that had occurred to her earlier.
She had seen the list of women that the counsel had suggested for Gaara to court, all of them were from very prestigious clans and large villages that could result in wonderful treaties. Her village barely had five hundred inhabitants, and was still hated by most of the larger five villages who still clung to the belief that her village had attacked them all those years before. The Sand Village and the Leaf Village were notable exceptions, but her village still wasn't all that popular. She wasn't entirely certain how the council would react to the fact that Gaara hadn't gone with their choice and had instead gone with a woman who wouldn't provide the illustrious connections that someone else could. "I think we might face a little difficulties from the council though—I'm not exactly their top pick of the draft for you."
Gaara stayed silent for a few moments as he thought, this had been something he'd been wondering as well, though it was nice to know that he wasn't the only one considering what the council's reaction would be, "I think we should tell them that we are together. To be honest though, I don't care all that much as to what they think. I know several of the counsel members would rather that I was with you than for me to continually reject every single woman they say that I should be with, which is what's been normal for the past few years." He smiled when he heard her chuckle softly at his words, knowing full and well that she was perfectly aware of how difficult he'd made things for the council in this matter. "We will make it work. Don't worry about that Ami. Tomorrow morning we can go into the council and tell them what's happening between the two of us. For the moment we don't need to worry about it all that much."
There was a small nod from the woman—that sounded like the best plan that they could come up with at the moment. At the end of the day while the council could bother Gaara quite a bit on certain matters, they couldn't forbid them from dating even if the entire group disapproved of it. "That sounds like a good idea—I don't think there's much else we could do besides that."
"So does this—" Gaara cut himself off, feeling foolish and embarrassed for asking something that he was pretty sure most people wouldn't need to. Then again neither he nor Ami were most people, and his lack of experience in this field made him a bit worried about presuming things. Just because they had feelings for one another didn't necessarily mean that they were dating "Does this mean that we're together? Or does it not work like that?"
Ami couldn't help but laugh just a little bit, amused that he was deferring to her opinion on this sort of thing when she barely had more experience in this field then he did. Her first date had been just a few days prior after all. "Yeah—I mean, if you want to be together, then we should be together." She pressed a kiss to his cheek as she heard Kankuro call up that dinner was finally ready. She had a feeling that there was a longer discussion in store for them, but for now this seemed like a good place to leave things.
With their combined lack of experience in regards to communication, Ami didn't expect for them to magically get better at talking all of a sudden. That being said she still felt like they were on track for a good start. She hoped that as long as they continued to be candid with one another, all would work out for the best. For now though, they needed to wait for just a bit longer. Ami had a feeling that if they kept both Temari and Kankuro waiting that the elder siblings would have no problem eating all the food prepared, leaving Ami and Gaara to make their own dinner. "For now though, let's just get something to eat. Everything else can happen in due time."
Gaara rubbed his cheek where she had pressed a kiss to it, giving just a bit of a sheepish nod—he'd probably have to get used to such overt displays of affection. At the moment he was content to be led downstairs, allowing the worries that he'd been piling on himself for the past few weeks to fade away.