The day of Dean's surgery dawned gray and overcast. Dean hadn't slept. Between knowing that the time he had left with his vision was trickling away, fear over the fact that in a few short hours someone was going to be cutting into his brain, and the pain which was slowly making him feel like he was going crazy; sleep just wasn't a thing his brain was willing to give. He figured it didn't matter too much, after the surgery he'd be sleeping a lot.

When his phone alarm went off at six a.m. he was lying perfectly still on his back staring into the darkness at the blinking light of the smoke detector on the ceiling. In the next bed over he heard Sam's breathing change as he woke up. Neither brother spoke as they slowly pulled on clothes. Sam put on a pair of jeans and a button down shirt while Dean dressed only in a pair of pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt. The hospital had instructed him to dress comfortably and he figured pajamas were about as comfortable you could get without being naked.

"You ready?" Sam asked quietly.

"Not really." Dean quipped and sat up with slow deliberate care. He hadn't been allowed to take any pain pills after midnight and the pain in his head had risen to biblical standards. He stood up and almost instantly began to fall as a wave of vertigo hit him like a mac truck. Sam's quick reflexes were fast enough to catch Dean before he could take a header into the nightstand.

"Dean? You ok?" He asked with obvious fear and concern.

Dean nodded and held onto Sam tightly. "Can't believe I'm saying this but I think I'm actually looking forward to this surgery. I mean at least once I heal up the pain will be gone. Of course I'll never see boobs or my car again, so… I guess it's kind of a wash."

Sam eased Dean back down onto the bed and placed his tennis shoes beside him so that Dean could put his shoes on while sitting down. The silence in the room was so apparent it was almost like having a third person in the room with them.

"I'm scared Sammy." Dean admitted in a small voice.

"I know you are Dean. I am too. I mean I already lost you once this year, I don't want to lose you again." Sam replied.

"Sam you really think something like brain surgery is enough to kill me?" Dean joked.

Sam laughed. "Probably not, but I mean just think of how hard it will be on that poor surgeon, operating on something that tiny." He teased.

"Ha ha. I might not have a big brain, but I've got other parts that are enormous." He bragged and grabbed his crotch.

"Way too much information dude." Sam groaned and dramatically turned his head away from his brother.

Dean stood up again once his shoes were on, more cautiously this time and managed to stay on his feet although he needed to put an arm around Sam to make it out to the car.

Last time I'm ever gonna see the sky and it's cloudy outside. Dean thought bitterly, wondering why he never could catch a break.

He spent the ride to the hospital studying the inside of his beloved car, trying to sear every detail into his memory. He didn't know if there was a more beautiful sight in all the world than his car. He was glad that if he did have to go blind in just a couple hours that he at least got to spend some of his remaining time in his baby.

"Dude I swear to God if you laugh at me I'm going to kick your ass, blind or not!" Dean threatened as a nurse wheeled him into his hospital room after prepping him for the surgery. He was wearing a hospital gown, had an I.V. snaking out of back of one hand, and his head had been shaved completely bald.

"Actually you kind of pull it off." Sam assured him, but failed to hide his smile.

"I saw that." Dean warned.

A soft knocking on the door interrupted any further sibling squabbles and they both turned to see Bobby crack the door and poke his head in. "Can I come in?"

Dean nodded and waved for him to enter the room. "Hey Bobby."

Bobby grabbed a chair in the room and pulled it close to Dean's bed. He didn't speak but just simply let Dean know that his presence was there, supporting Dean.

Another knock on the door happened suddenly. A nurse poked her head in. "I just need to check your vitals." She explained.

"You're blood pressure and pulse rate are elevated. Are you feeling anxiety about the surgery?" She asked as she finished examining him.

"What the hell do you think? I'm about to have my skull cut open and my brain operated on. Plus I'll be going blind pretty soon." Dean snapped.

The nurse gave him a sympathetic smile and excused his rude outburst. "Well when you put it that way… I'm sorry to have just stated the obvious so bluntly." She apologized. "I'm going to go get you something to relax you and hopefully bring your vitals down a bit. As they are right now the anesthesiologist isn't going to want to put you under."

Dean nodded and tried to give her an apologetic smile. "Thanks. Sorry I yelled at you."

She gave him another sympathetic. "It's perfectly alright, you have every right to be on edge and scared. I'm very sorry that this is happening to you."

She stepped from the room and was back a minute or two later with a syringe in her hand. She pushed a few buttons on the I.V. machine and then inserted the needle of the syringe into a port on the I.V. line. "This is going to make you pretty loopy, but it should calm you down quite a bit." She explained as she pushed the medicine into the plastic tube.

She had barely even finished giving him the medicine when Dean's eyes turned glassy and his head rolled back onto his pillow. "Whoa, this is weird." He slurred and gave Bobby and Sam a dopey smile.

"I'll be back in about fifteen minutes to check your vitals and see if they've come down." The nurse promised as she finished up with his I.V. and walked out of the room.

Dean rubbed a hand over his freshly shaved head and began to giggle hysterically.

"What's so funny?" Bobby asked.

"I was just thinking it's a good thing this is happening to me and not Sammy." Dean said.

"Why do you say that?" Sam asked.

"Cause you'd probably die if they had to shave off all your hair." He explained, laughing loudly.

Bobby burst out laughing too and Sam gave them both a disgruntled glare. "Fine I'll let you have that one since you're about to get you head operated on."

True to her word the nurse reappeared fifteen minutes later to take Dean's vitals once again. She declared that they'd gone down enough to proceed and left to get an orderly to wheel Dean's bed to the operating room. Sam followed Dean as far as he was allowed, wanting to give his brother as much support as possible.

"Dude stop giving me bitch-face!" Dean snapped as they entered an elevator.

"Bitch-face?" Sam asked, confused.

"Yeah you've got that sad broody look on your face. Like someone just told you they shot your puppy or something. If this is the last time I ever get to see my brother I don't want to remember him having bitch-face." Dean explained.

"Sorry I didn't realize I was doing that." Sam said and tried valiantly to put a smile on his face.

The elevator dinged and they all exited onto the surgical ward. "This is as far as you can go. The surgical waiting room is right over there. Someone will come find you to give you an update once Dean's in recovery." The nurse explained as she pointed out the waiting room to Sam.

He nodded and stopped following the bed. They were rolling Dean backwards, which Sam was grateful for; it meant that he and Dean could keep their eyes locked for as long as possible. As Dean was wheeled down the hall and towards a set of doors Sam felt his smile quiver, but he forced himself to take a breath and look happy. Dean was right if this was the last time he'd ever see Sam then it should be with a smile on Sam's face. As the doors opened Dean gave Sam a smile and a thumbs up like what was happening was no big deal. Then the doors closed and just like that he was gone.

Sam and Bobby sat silently together in the waiting room, idly watching the t.v. which played in one corner and flipping through magazines that neither of them had any interest in. They ate a quick lunch in the cafeteria and the hurried back to the surgical ward where they continued to wait. Six hours after Dean had been taken back Dr. Mcguire appeared in the waiting room, still dressed in his surgical scrubs. The look on his face was hard to read, but Sam could tell that it wasn't a happy expression. His heart began to pound as the doctor joined them and took a seat across from Sam.

"Is my brother ok?" Sam asked.

Dr. Mcguire nodded. "He came through the surgery without any trouble and he's stable. We were lucky enough to be able to remove the entire tumor and luckily it was benign, so he won't need chemotherapy."

"But?" Sam pushed; he could tell that the doctor was holding back some vital piece of information.

The doctor sighed sadly and cleared his throat. "But the tumor was much bigger than we'd estimated based on the MRI images. We were forced to remove the entire Occipital Lobe in order to get the entire tumor out."

"So what's that mean?" Bobby asked.

"It means that when Dean wakes up he's going to be totally blind. No object recognition or light perception. I'm so sorry, if I could have done anything else I would have, but this was the only way we could save his life." The doctor admitted regretfully.

Sam didn't know what to say. He thought he'd prepared for this outcome, but now that it had arrived he realized that he wasn't prepared at all. His brother was blind. The brother who'd always looked out for him, who'd protected him, the man who'd practically raised him was never going to see again.

And there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.