6

By the time Elliot had got to the bottom of the stairs she was sitting up rubbing her head and the perp had completely disappeared. He had somehow found the presence of mind to yell into his radio that an officer was down and he could hear the sirens informing him that help had already arrived. It was a relief for he felt terrible about leaving the original victim, but he knew that back-up would be there within seconds and his partner needed him right now.

"Liv!" he exclaimed, comforted to see that she was firstly alive and secondly moving. He felt like his heart was going to explode it had been racing so fast.

"I'm OK," she said. "I only fell a short way. I hit my head but it feels OK."

"All the same, you're going to the hospital!" he told her firmly.

"El, please, it's nothing," she argued. She wasn't sure how convincing she sounded, for the truth was the nausea she had been trying to fight ever since she had left the precinct, had suddenly started raging again and she knew without question she was going to be sick.

"What are you doing?" he scolded her as she pulled herself upright to puke at a better angle. She didn't reply but leaned over and emptied her stomach onto the sidewalk.

"Shit, Liv," she heard him exclaiming. Then she felt his arm around her shoulders supporting her and a hand gently brushing her hair back from her face. Even though she was glad of the support due to the sudden inexplicable weakness in her legs which was probably not helped by the fact he was currently touching her so intimately, she was thoroughly mortified. Puking in public was bad enough but the fact it had been mere centimetres away from hitting her partner's shoes was excruciatingly embarrassing.

"Still think you don't need to go to the hospital?" he asked her, not without a touch of sarcasm. His teasing tone would normally elicit a biting response on her behalf, but she was finding it more than a little difficult not to notice how his arm was still around her. Worried he would detect just how much she actually liked it, she considered shaking him off, but she couldn't. She could pretty much count on one hand the times they had come into as close contact as this and she was damned if she was going to be the one to end it early. Besides it felt good to have someone supporting her. It dawned on her that had she been out with Munch or one of the others, she wasn't sure she would have been quite so keen.

The bout of vomiting reminded her of her secret growing inside her and it hit her that she was actually pregnant and she had just fallen down a flight of stairs. She wasn't sure why it hadn't occurred to her sooner. She supposed this was all still so very new that she hardly dared believe it sometimes. The cold fear gripped her now and she paled. What if something had happened to the baby? A visit to the hospital didn't seem like such a bad idea any more. She could feel her legs wobble as she suddenly felt extremely light-headed.

Elliot had obviously sensed her shift in balance for he had wrapped his arms around her even more tightly. She realised if he hadn't have been there she would have been in real danger of falling to the ground. That was a dizzying thought in itself. She didn't think of herself as some delicate woman who fainted or usually allowed a man to 'come to her rescue'. She was Olivia Benson; a strong and capable detective. Even so, she didn't protest when Elliot helped to lower her down to the ground and she sank onto the bottom step of the staircase gratefully, relieved she no longer had to make any deliberate effort to stay on her feet. He joined her, still with his arm wrapped around her and to her horror she felt the prick of tears in her eyes. She wasn't certain whether it was the shock of the fall, the fear that something had happened to her baby or the sudden display of tenderness from her partner, but she was unable to stop them escaping and rolling down her cheeks.

"Shit Olivia," Elliot said again, causing her to wonder if he had any other vocabulary on hand or whether that was all he would be capable of uttering for evermore. It was then she looked at him curiously and recognised the look of pure concern on his face; concern for her but it was mixed with something else that she couldn't name. It took her aback and for some reason it scared her. She shifted her gaze to her knees and she shuddered. His arm tightened around her even more and she was suddenly aware of how his thigh was pressing against hers. It was all she could focus on. His touch sent ripples of something through her that terrified her, yet she still couldn't pull away.

She couldn't decide if she was relieved or sorry when the two uniformed officers approached. Elliot tensed and loosened his hold on her, shifting an inch or so away so that their legs were no longer in contact. As much as his unfamiliar closeness had unsettled her, she already missed his presence. At least he kept his arm around her lightly. Then she remembered the fact she was crying. She had probably scared him half to death. He was just looking out for his partner and she was reading too much into it. She couldn't help but feel a little ridiculous.

"I'm OK, El," she said, feigning sincerity. It was hard to imagine how he would take her seriously given the tears that refused to abate. She fiercely wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, hoping to physically force them away somehow.

"Like hell you are," he muttered under his breath.

"What happened detective?" one of the officers asked him.

"She fell down most of the final flight and hit her head. She needs to go to the hospital to get checked out," he explained, ignoring Olivia's indignant glare.

"I'm fine, really," she said. "It's just a bump."

"You threw your guts up straight afterwards Olivia," he reminded her. "That's not 'nothing' and you know it!" She fell silent. How could she argue without telling him the real reason? She could plainly see he was genuinely worried about her and she hated to do that to him. Not to mention that she was terrified herself. What if something had happened to the baby? The mere thought threatened to produce a fresh wave of tears. She cursed the hormones for making her so emotional and clenched her hands tightly digging her nails into her palm, hoping the pain might do something to deter the tears.

She felt him leaning in, placing his mouth close to her ear so that only she would hear what he was saying.

"Liv, please. I'm worried about you. Let me take you to the hospital. If the doctor gives you the all clear, then I'll take you home and leave you in peace, I promise. Just let them check you out – if not for you, then for me."

Slowly she nodded in agreement, noting the obvious look of relief on his face. "No ambulance though," she begged.

"The bus is on its way," one of the officers informed them, overhearing her last comment.

"It's OK. I'll take her in myself," Elliot replied, seeing Olivia's grateful smile and smiling back. "I'll just ring the Captain and clear it with him," he added, looking at her.

Olivia nodded. She had almost forgotten they were on a call and even if she was injured, Elliot disappearing from the crime scene without permission would likely get him in a lot of trouble.

"Maybe I should wait for the ambulance and go alone?" she suggested.

"Don't be silly! I'm taking you! Come on!"

He helped her to her feet and with his arms around her supporting her he led her to their car, which was still parked out the front and he helped her in.

Before climbing into the car himself he called Cragen and squared it with him and then stepped over to speak briefly to the attending officers. Finally free to leave, he slipped into the driver's seat and switched on the ignition.

"I really am fine you know," she said, as much to convince herself as him.

"You're going!" he said exasperated.

She smiled. She couldn't help thinking how cute he was when he got all over-protective of her like this.

…

Ten minutes into the journey, Elliot started to bitterly regret not insisting she go in the ambulance due to the sheer volume of traffic on the roads. It was as though every New York resident had suddenly decided to hop into their car and go out for a drive at exactly the same time. The road ahead was at a standstill with no signs of any movement whatsoever.

"Shit," he cursed, banging his fist down on the dashboard in frustration, making her jump. "Sorry," he muttered. He turned his head to look at her fully and sensing his heavy stare she raised her eyes to his questioningly.

"You had me really scared there for a moment, Liv," he said, surprising her a little at the intensity behind his words. "When you fell, I thought maybe you'd been shot, then you landed on the ground and for a few seconds didn't move and I thought…"

"I'm fine, El," she said softly.

"Thank God," he said. Impulsively he grabbed one of her hands, bringing it to his lips, startling her in the process. "I don't know what I'd have done if…"

"I'm OK," she said, feeling a little awkward at just how upset he was. "It's OK, El. It was just a bump."

"But you're not fine, are you?" he said heavily, remembering how she had violently thrown up and then almost collapsed in his arms.

The guilt was tearing at her. She wanted to tell him so badly, yet she was terrified. Maybe she should though? Surely it would be better than letting him think there was something seriously wrong with her?

"El," she said her voice almost a whisper. "There's something I haven't told you."

"There is?"

She took a deep breath. She would have to tell him eventually. Now would be as good a time as any, surely? Maybe she could convince him to keep his mouth shut until she hit the second trimester at least? She wouldn't need to tell him the details of how she got pregnant, just that she was. He would assume it was someone she had been in a relationship with but just not mentioned. Somehow she thought that would be less embarrassing than revealing the fact she had deliberately set out to get pregnant using donor sperm. He might be surprised, but they were both entitled to their own private lives and he'd never shown her anything but unquestioning acceptance up until now. There was no reason to believe he wouldn't be OK with it.

She turned her head, keeping her gaze in her lap. She couldn't tell him while making eye contact. For some reason she was terrified of seeing his reaction. She took another deep breath before she nervously took the plunge.

"Elliot. I'm pregnant."