A/N: sorry for the delay, but this morning I've been quite busy with work, not to mention quite shocked by what happened in the season finale of my favourite TV series, "NCIS". If you watch the show, I'm referring to the conversation between Vance and Gibbs about Ziva and Ari's death. Gibbs/Ziva are my OTP in that fandom and if that revelation is true, the pillar on which their relationship was/is based would crumble, because everything so far would be a big, massive lie.
OK, sorry for the digression! I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter!
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Asajj cautiously walked along the gravel covered path, not knowing what sight would welcome her at the end of the way. She had sensed a great distress and anguish coming from Obi-Wan. He had raised his shields, but the pain had leaked along the bond, making her wish to be at his side and comfort him.
Asajj had always been an independent, strong-willed woman, yet she had always found joy in protecting and comforting the few people that had mattered in her life. She was loyal almost to the point of fault and with an inner need to belong somewhere…with someone.
She had never spared much time in meditation after Ky Narec's death, busy as she had been fighting for her people's freedom or doing Dooku's bidding. However, that had changed after her last close brush with death.
Alone in her hiding place, away from a war that was not hers, Asajj had had the time to think and find answers to questions she had wanted to ask.
She had not always liked those answers, but she had not denied them.
Among those questions there was one that had tormented her for a long time: why she had never been able to kill Obi-Wan Kenobi?
Asajj had killed many Jedi without much problem, no matter how skilled they had been. Yet, she had not been able to kill Obi-Wan, not even when he had been her prisoner on Rattatak.
Dooku had never ordered her to imprison and torture the Jedi. He had told her to kill Kenobi and it would have been easy to plunge her blade into his flesh while he was chained and cut off from the Force by the Sith mask she had put on him.
The answer to her question had been simple. No matter how she had claimed to hate Obi-Wan, in reality she had admired him.
She had wanted to be like him and, in the end, she had wanted to be with him, at his side. To form a partnership like the one he had with Skywalker. It had been that too-late-confessed desire that had pushed her to visit his tomb on Utapau, to be near him as a friend and not as an enemy at least once.
However the Force had willed differently and now Asajj had it. The place at Obi-Wan's side she had wanted so badly.
She now had the right and the duty to protect him, in battle, but also in moments like this one.
The bond meant she would never be alone again—but it worked both ways.
That was why Asajj had left the room assigned her by Senator Organa and had followed Obi-Wan's signature to the greenhouse.
And now that she was there, she hesitated, wondering how opportune it would be to make her presence known.
"Come closer, young one. Need you, your bonded does," a voice said from beyond a bush, a moment before the leaves parted to reveal Master Yoda.
"He needs me?"
"Yes. Go to him. Good for him your presence will be."
Yoda walked away, leaving her alone. Asajj stared at the small master's retreating back for a moment, then decided to follow his advice.
She let her instinct guide her to Obi-Wan. She found him sitting on a grassy patch, his head bowed, his shoulder slumped, as if burdened by a weight he could not bear. His pain rolled over her as he released it into the Force, but it seemed that the more he let go of his anguish, the more he was assaulted by a new one.
Silently Asajj sat in front of Obi-Wan, in the place where Yoda must have been before, at least judging by how strong the echo of his presence was. She folded her hands and opened their bond, letting Obi-Wan know she was there to listen, should he want to talk.
Silence reigned over them for a long while, until Obi-Wan whispered, "What do you know of Vader?"
"Not much. His face has never appeared on the holonet, but I read he is quite tall. He is said to be Palpatine's right hand—especially when the Emperor has to teach some lesson to rebellious senators."
Obi-Wan raised his eyes to look at her and she noticed how blue they were in that moment. "His complete name is Darth Vader. He is a Sith, Sidious' new apprentice."
She did not comment, sensing there was more coming.
"Master Yoda told me Vader led the attack to the Jedi Temple. Told me he had seen Vader kill children. Told me Vader is Anakin…"
Asajj gasped. She remembered Skywalker quite well. How could she forget the man that almost killed her twice? She remembered how strong the Jedi had been in the Force, but also how impulsive, emotional and prone to anger he had been. She also recalled having wondered how it was possible he could have been Obi-Wan's apprentice, since the two of them were as different as the day from the night.
"I didn't teach him well, Asajj," Obi-Wan murmured, his guilt rolling off him in waves. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have been so arrogant to think a freshly appointed knight could teach such a powerful child. I should have entrusted him to the care of a more expert master. I was not good enough."
Asajj narrowed her eyes. She did not like this self-bashing attitude, and she decided to snap him out of it at once.
"Sithspawn Kenobi! You are a great teacher! I have observed how you and Skywalker related. You gave him the right example—it's not your fault if he didn't listen. Do you remember Muunilinst?" Obi-Wan nodded, albeit unwillingly. "I dared Skywalker to chase me and he did, ignoring your orders and forgetting his duty."
"I know. Another example of how badly I did with him." Obi-Wan interjected.
"Drop this destructive attitude, Kenobi, and let me finish! What you don't know is that I felt Skywalker's feelings as he chased me. He was aware he was doing something wrong. He knew that, by abandoning his position he left you to face Durge alone, but he decided it was more important to demonstrate that no pilot could outclass him." Asajj shook her head. "Don't you see, Obi-Wan? You taught what was right and what was wrong, and he chose the wrong."
"You cannot be so sure. You barely know me. You aren't aware of how badly I failed Anakin and Qui-Gon."
"Qui-Gon?" Asajj frowned.
"My master. He died on Naboo years ago. He entrusted Anakin to my care, told me to train the boy-- and I failed him. I should have died in Qui-Gon's place, so none of this would have happened…" Obi-Wan's voice was full of self-loathing.
Suddenly there was a sudden shift in the Force, and a new presence brushed against Asajj's shields.
"You cannot know it for sure, Padawan!" a deep, incorporeal voice echoed in the room, seeming to come from everywhere.
Asajj whipped her head around, searching for the speaker, but there was no one.
In front of her Obi-Wan was now sitting straight, a look of pure wonder on his face.
"Master?" he called tentatively.
"Yes, Obi-Wan," the voice answered.
"Where… how…why…" Obi-Wan muttered, his eyes darting around the greenhouse before locking with Asajj's.
"The explanations are long, Obi-Wan, and you are not in the mental frame to hear them now. Suffice it to say, Padawan, I have discovered a way to retain my consciousness even after dying and joining the Force."
"I-I… can you teach it to me?" Obi-Wan asked, his eyes shining like those of a child.
"Always so eager to learn, Padawan-mine. Yes, I will teach you and your bonded, but only when the right time arrives. At the moment, Obi-Wan, you are not in any condition to learn anything. Too much is weighting on your mind and heart."
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan answered, bowing his head. Asajj felt another wave of self deprecation wash over her and it made her feel angry at this mysterious Qui-Gon. The last thing Obi-Wan needed was to be reproached by his dead master.
"Don't you have anything better to do than torment him like this? His sense of guilt is already strong enough!" she angrily exclaimed at the empty air.
A brief laughter echoed in the greenhouse, then the voice talked again. "I'm not here to torment him, Asajj Ventress. I'm here to help him. Obi-Wan, I'm here to offer you the help of a master to his padawan… the help you offered time and again to Anakin, and that he never accepted. The help he never asked you for because he feared you would learn his deception."
Obi-Wan's head snapped up. "What deception?"
"Anakin married Padmé Amidala just after Geonosis. He was afraid you would discover it."
"But I knew it!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, as Asajj watched and listened with interest, hoping this Qui-Gon would be able to help her bonded.
"You knew?"
"I didn't know he was married, but I was aware their feelings had progressed beyond simple friendship."
"Yet you never approached Anakin about it."
"I didn't want to force the issue. I hoped he would confide in me. Or that he would see the error of his ways and let go of Padmé with his own will."
"You did well, Padawan." Asajj sensed the approval in Qui-Gon's voice. "This is what a good teacher does. He teaches his pupils what is right and what is wrong. He gives his pupil the means to make the right choice—but he doesn't choose on his pupil's behalf."
Asajj almost smiled because Qui-Gon had basically repeated what she had said to Obi-Wan, and because her bonded was really listening to his late master's words. The approval in the dead man's voice was acting like a healing balm on his wounded soul.
"I have watched you along the years, Obi-Wan. You did well with Anakin, trust me."
Obi-Wan nodded and Asajj saw the conviction behind that simple gesture. He believed in his master's words and the sense of guilt he had first felt was slowly disappearing.
"Master, do you know why Anakin turned?" Obi-Wan asked after a few moments of silence.
"Yes. He did out of his obsessive fear of losing Padmé. Palpatine – Sidious – preyed on those fears. He told Anakin only the dark side could save Padmé, and the boy chose to believe it."
"I understand." Obi-Wan frowned and rubbed his beard, deep in thought. Then he spoke again, "Master… Qui-Gon… do you believe there is any chance of bringing him back to the light?"
"Yes, Obi-Wan. I believe there is—and you will discover it soon. Now I must go, Padawan. It was a joy to talk with you again."
"Likewise, Master. Will you return?"
"I will. When the time is right."
Asajj felt another shift in the Force and then the presence was gone. In front of her, Obi-Wan changed position, and knelt on the grass.
"I need to meditate," he explained. "Will you stay here with me?"
"Yes, Obi-Wan." I will always stay near you, Asajj completed the line in her mind before closing her eyes and relaxing her shields.