Disclaimer: I don't own pikmin or Nintendo
I would really appreciate it if I got more reviews... I'd also like to note that I said this chapter would be posted by sunday. It's now monday. If anyone actually cares, you have my apology.
Chapter 6: The really really big battle or Larry: A life of getting pawned ( no disrespect to Great Thumbs of Wisdom, whose fanfic title I'm ripping off) Part one
One red pikmin nervously stared up at the sky. "Whatcha lookin' at?" Another pikmin had strolled by and was observing his behaviour. "Aren't you worried that The Master of Parody got this chapter in one day late?" "So?" "Shouldn't we be looking out for flying bulborbs?" "Listen, nobody's perfect, except me of course. He makes mistakes all the time" "Like what?" "Well, there's the time that he thought that 1 cent is minimum wage for a fanfiction actor, and then there's his contunual falilure where he forgets to send my raise to my bank account, and then he didn't name me employee of the month, and then..." The other pikmin started to quickly move away, to dodge the excretion of a flying bulborb passing overhead. The other pikmin (named larry) wasn't so lucky.
Louie ran up to Olimar. "I did it! I found a real green pikmin that has neat magnetic powers!" "That's great Louie, but what are all those pikmin doing by the water? "Good news, paint isn't washing off of this one... but we held him in to long." remarked one blue pikmin casually. "AAH! That's the only green pikmin we had! They're all extinct now!" wailed Louie upon noticing the drowned green. "Well, I'm sure a dead pikmin will still work... In fact, it'll have to because our one bulbmin is dead...""What are you talking about?" "I'll explain..."
"Legend has it that there are 8 types of pikmin, instead of the regular 7, which are red, blue, yellow, purple, white, green, and bulbmins. The only way to get the 8th type is to throw one of each type into the mystical crystal prism candypop bud, and then a shining pikmin will be produced. It has the powers of every pikmin, as well as others we've never heard of before! If we can find this legendary crystal prism candypop bud, then we might just have a chance of defeating the bulborb army!" "That's very nice, but where would we find this?" "In the hole of crystals..."
In bulborb HQ, the yellow commander laughed maniacally. "Spreading rumors about a "crystal prism candypop bud" to get them to waste time and pikmin searching for it may be one of our most devious plans yet! I can't believe those gullible fools believed the story! With this plan and plan C, we'll be unstoppable, and then we'll control both this world and Hocotate!" "Um... you just revealed half of your plans to everybody" noticed a bulborb bodyguard who had to put up with his maniacal ravings. "D'oh!"
If Olimar was going to go to the hole of crystals, he was gonna have to do a task which required almost herculean effort, which was safely getting all his pikmin to the hole. The first hitch in his plan was caused by Louie, though... "Gee, I wonder why there can't be more than 100 pikmin on the field..." Louie walked up to the red pikmin onion and called out one more. "You Fool! Now the Y-.101K virus will kill us all! The game cube's processor can't handle more than 100 pikmin on the field at one time!"moaned the pikmin that came out.
Meanwhile, the computer was plotting up even more gruesome ways to kill Olimar. "I knew I shouldn't have relied on stupid pikmin to get the job done!" This time, when I send down that exploration pod to the hole of cystals, I'll be sure to make a couple modifications to his suit once I find some treasure that'll give me an excuse to. Since it'll probably be some sort of crystall, I'll use it to create a spring powered mechanism that will launch crystal shards into his heart. And I'll say it's an anti bulborb weapon!"
Louie obviously couldn't hear the apocalyptic warning of the pikmin, so he caught up with Olimar as normal. "Phew... the virus hasn't crashed our game yet... but as soon as 6 other creatures are on the screen at one time, it'll happen... " 5 female sheergrubs came out of the ground near him, and he heard the buzz of a swooping snitchbug's wings behind him. "NOOO! Must...run...off...screen..." he panted as he made a break for the screen's edge. Unfortunately, this pikmin (whose name was larry, and was coincidentally the same pikmin from earlier) fell into some water when he was doing this. Louie didn't notice, and had caught up to Olimar.
"Okay, what we have to do is prevent our pikmin from running off to someplace and getting themselves killed." "Why can't we just use ritalin?" "Because we can't mention any drugs if we want to keep this an E-rated game. Now, if they see nectar, they're gonna run off. If they see a dead creature they can carry back, they're gonna run off. If they see a live creature, they're gonna run off. If they see an air molecule, they're gonna run off." "Ummm...we may have a slight problem..." Louie said worriedly. "Ahh! Where did all my pikmin go!" screamed Olimar.
After rounding up all of the pikmin, Olimar had a better plan. "Why didn't we think of this before?" he wondered, as the onions hovered directly above the hole, dorpping down pikmin. "OW!" they heard the first pikmin to hit the ground say. (who was named larry, and was the same pikmin from before, who, when he fell in the water, got swallowed by a bloyster and then got spit back out onto dry land). "Ow! Ow Ow Ow!" he said as the other pikmin started to land on top of him. "Maybe this is why" thought Louie. "Ribs...crushed... oh no! Oh no! Not the purple pikmin! OWWWWWWWWWW!"
Once all the pikmin were safely down, (except for larry) Olimar started looking for treasure. "Yes...my plan is almost ready..." thought the computer, in the pod. "Hey, look, a huge non-pointy-and-defintily-not-stabby-enough-to-use-as-a-weapon feather!" exclaimed Olimar. "Can't use that" thought the computer. "Hey look, an incredibly soft pillow! Couldn't use that for any secret assasination!" said Louie enthusiastically. "And here's a plastic spoon! That can't be implanted in a suit to kill someone!" "GASP! I found a buried repositoy of treasures that have no sharp points or edges!" "AHHHH! Can't you find something I can use to kill you?" screamed the computer. "Some son of a bulborb turned on the computer again!" said olimar angrily. "Uh-oh" thought the computer as Olimar approached it holding a purple pikmin. "Sic him!" he yelled as he threw it on the computer.
After that problem was solved, and all the treasures on that floor were collected, they went down to the second floor. Olimar was shocked by what he saw. "Olimar! After nearly killing me in the glutton's kitchen, after depriving me of my lifelong dream with a fake peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and after sabotaging my whipped cream with pikmin, revenge shall be mine!" cackled the giant breadbug. "Big deal. You're the easiest boss ever!" "Oh yeah! Well how about this!" The breadbug drew out two canisters of whipped cream, and started suffocating pikmin with them. Olimar threw a purple spray at it. It bounced off and paralyzed Louie. "Crud!" thought Olimar. But what he said was "Breadbug, you're toast!" "I don't know whose stupider, your pikmin or or your not so witty banter."
Louie managed to shake off the petrification and ran around to the breadbug's other side with a large number of pikmin. "Let's flip this over!" Louie's pikmin all pushed against one side. "Hah! I can't be flipped that easily!" the breadbug rolled over in an attempt to crush the pikmin. The pikmin quickly dodged. Suddenly the breadbug realized that it had just flipped itself over. "Umm...can't we just put all of those hard feelings behind us? No? Ahh! Ow OW OW! My kidneys! Owch! #$&&+ you Olimar!" With that, the breadbug finally died, and everyone moved on to the next level. "Um, a little help here?" Said larry, who was trapped under the dead breadbug. Almost everyone.
The "Final sublevel" warning flashed across the screen. In the center of the room, there was a gigantic crsytal cocoon. As Olimar approached to examine it, it burst open, revealing a large creature that looked like a moth. On the tip of each wing, there was a small thing that could produce bomb rocks like a dirigibug. "It's a full grown cannon beetle! We've never seen it outside the larval form before!" But before Olimar could properly study it, it swooped low over them, dropping bomb rocks. The pikmin scattered. "Get the yellow pikmin! Maybe they can be thrown high enough to get it!" said Olimar frantically. No luck for him though, because the yellow pikmin had tested whether or not they had the bomb rock carrying capabilities they did in the first pikmin game, and it turned out they didn't.
Louie had the since to use a purple spray on it, sending it smashing to the ground, and all the pikmin swarmed it, and finally defeated it. It didn't yield a treasure, but Olimar could see the prism candypop bud at the other end of the cave. He threw in the first pikmin he saw, which was Larry, who had managed to drag himself out from under the breadbug, and Larry saw the horrible truth: It was a trap set for them by the bulborbs, and at the bottom was a wood chipper! He clung desperatly to the sides. Louie leaned over to shove him in, but saw the hideous trap the bulborbs had made. He tripped in though, sending larry down to his doom. Olimar quickly saved Louie though. "These bulborbs are smarter than we thought..."
At bulborb HQ, the yellow commander watched the pikmin be dropped into the hole of crystals, and saw them being instantaneously shot back out again due to the time difference. "Hmm... that's still more pikmin then I'd like to deal with... oh well, there's always plan C..." He went down into the deepest part of the cave the HQ was located in. In there, there were the five different colors of candypop buds. He grabbed a dwarf red bulborb next to him and threw him in the violet candypop bud. What came out was a purple, bulkier bulbrob. "Excellent..." The crimson candy pop buds could create dwarf fiery bulblaxes, the yellows created ones immune to elctricity who could be thrown higher, the whites created poisonous ones, and the blues created ones that could swim. Soon there was an army of powered up bulborbs. But there was one final test. An emperor bulborb jumped into a queen candypop bud. What came out was the pikorb, a collossal bulborb that had the powers of all of the other bulborbs. "With this army, nothing can stop us! Nothing!!!!!!!!!!!
Part two should be done by the end of tommorrow. I've decided that I'm only going to write 8 chapters, unless I get reviews saying that people would like otherwise. Also I would like to hear if you like the part where I answer fanmail.
Speaking of whitch, it's time to answer fake fanmail again! First we have a letter from Olimar's boss, saying "Has Olimar completely forgotten about the 5,000 pokos he needs to get? I'll go broke again due to his slow poko procuring rate!" Well, I'll make sure that they due so. Unfortunately, this won't be until pikmin 4. Until then, put up a lemonade stand or something. Next we have a letter from super bulbmin, saying "I sure hope you're going to pay for my hospital bills, you #$! Why do you keep writing that I get beat up by my own allies? Whyyyyyy!" Shut up, this isn't an angst fic. If you look at your employee contract, then it says that no medical insurance is provided except for a band-aid. Next chapter I answer the questions of the red bulborb commander and Louie.