Chapter 6: Highs And Lows Part 2
"NO!" yelled Po from upstairs this bright and sunny morning. Tigress allowed herself the satisfaction of a tiny smirk from how successful her attempts to make her new boyfriend more nervous than she'd ever seen him, and for Po that was saying something. She had attempted to seduce the bear by making suggestive remarks to their oddly tangled position when they awoke that morning, and the poor guy had just been caught in his aroused state by the man that raised him. The tiger almost laughed under her breath if not for the few morning customers sitting in the restaurant outside waiting and the elderly goose now entering the kitchen from the stairs who was currently putting on his signature ball of yarn hat made to look like a bowl of noodles. When noticing the tiger, Mr. Ping gave her a small polite bow.
"Good morning, Tigress." he said before passing her ; she sat a foot or so away from the stairs at a small table he had set up in the kitchen to accommodate the level of privacy she was used to when eating "I trust you slept well." the goose walked out of the kitchen through the back entrance before she could immediately answer.
"Yes I did, thank you Mr. Ping." replied Tigress in a raised voice so that the old goose could hear her from the alley. Mr. Ping returned seconds later carrying a crateful of bok choy and laughing in his own soft way.
"Oh, stop that! I told you that you can call me father! And I may be old young lady, but if I can hear the orders from the timid young bunnies that come in here every day from the other end of the restaurant, I can certainly hear you speak to me from the kitchen to the alley." said the goose that continued to waddle in and out of the kitchen bringing in more of his daily supply of vegetables at a youthful pace. Tigress debated offering Mr. Ping some help with carrying the crates, but given his attitude towards her risen speech, she was reluctant.
"My apologies, Mr. Ping, and I do not mean to be insensitive; but the only parental figure that I have ever known has been acting very strangely, and until he has stopped this foolishness and we can reconcile I cannot feed my heart any emotion of the sort" she said with her paws in her lap and her head directed towards the floor.
"Might I ask you something then, Master Tigress?" spoke the goose while chopping up his vegetables at an amazing speed, not even looking at her as he did so "Are you aware of how many girls have come into my son's life?"
Tigress then flew her ears up and raised her head to eye the goose; she felt a sting in the back of her heart at this subject and prayed silently about his answer to his own question. Her silence was all Mr. Ping needed to hear, so he continued.
"He was never very popular with the ladies, Master Tigress. But I did get a few offers from other parents to arrange marriages."
"T-to their daughters?" asked Tigress, who now had a small lump in her throat in fear that she was currently treading on some deal made long ago.
"No to their sons-of course their daughters, now let me finish this story!" snapped the goose that flung the dull edge of his knife across the cutting board to fling the chopped vegetables into the large pot beside the counter.
"I am sorry, please continue."
"Thank you." the old man of the restaurant briefly cleared his throat "When Po was a boy he was seen as an opportunity for good fortune because of the rarity of his species, as if he might be some kind of royalty someday; and he was bullied quite a lot for it. It may have been seen as generally superficial at the time but when the other boys bullied him, in time the public figured out why. Though his natural husky size was no help, Po was bullied because of his social position; the other boys were jealous."
"How did he ever react when you told him?" asked the surprised tiger.
"Oh he never found out." chuckled Mr. Ping quietly while fiddling with a towel after drying his feathered fingers off from the residue of the broth's steam. He turned to face Tigress, but kept his head lowered "But then again, I never made any deals. So telling him would only have worried him for nothing."
"Then why even allow people to think-"
"The point of this story, Master Tigress, is that Po would have had many choices if not for me. But he didn't; because I did not see them worthy enough to be with my son and I could not hear myself calling them my daughter." the goose looked up at the tiger with a hint of joyful sorrow in his eyes and a calm smile placed on his beak "But you are more than worthy to be with my son and be called my daughter."
Tigress felt her breath hitch at this, and as she stood she performed a low bow to the goose with her fist in palm "Then I accept the title with humble gratitude." suddenly her bow was interrupted by Mr. Ping's wing swatting her paws downward before he embraced her in a hug.
"You have got to learn to not be so formal if you are going to be in the Ping family, Tigress." laughed the bird while still hugging her. Tigress hesitated only for a moment after this, but still brought her arms around the goose and felt a small wave of a smile spread over her face.
Somewhere Outside the Village
Meanwhile, at the cliff overlooking the village below stood five very tired, very angry soldiers; the apparent leader was an ox that held in his black as night hoof a long spear with very inky black tassels hanging from the high end. At his right stood a rhino with a crossbow slung over his shoulder. On his left stood a ram clinging to two extremely sharp hatchets and a spider monkey that held no obvious weapons on him. Perched on the ox's right horn was a crow with talons clad in metal almost exactly like the ones Shen wore. All five wore light green robes.
"Alright, maggots; this bitch couldn't have gotten too far." panted the ox "Her tracks end here; now let's finish this."
The Top of the Thousand Steps
Viper was having a very aggravating time trying to get Song down the steps. She pulled at the feline's wrist with all her might, but Song was surprisingly strong for her size. Viper tried to trip her, but Song simply stood in a statue stance to keep herself grounded. The leopard didn't say anything. She just stood at the top step of the Palace stairs, staring down at the village with sharp, quick breaths. Viper let out an exasperated sigh almost like a growl and glared up at her, pointing to the ground where Song was standing with her tail. "Stay right here!"
Viper slithered away to Mantis' room. Some muffled shouting could be heard from where Song stood, but she wasn't listening anyway. She was currently focusing all of her senses on the window to the second floor of the noodle shop with her amazingly sharp feline vision; in particular the window to a certain panda's room. All of a sudden, her stiffness became more involuntary than she wanted and she tried to move, but to no avail. Viper smiled up at Song as her tongue flicked out of her mouth a couple of times in satisfaction.
"Thank you, Mantis!" she said sweetly as the bug hopped from Song's shoulder and landed beside the snake.
"No problem, toots!" he turned to hop away, but was slapped in the back of the head by Viper's tail. He rubbed the back of his head as he hopped away grumbling, though he could hear Viper's giggle, which fed his already massive ego so that he hopped even higher than before.
Viper then sighed. "I didn't want to have to do this Song, but you made me.", Viper then pulled the rigid leopard onto her stomach just as Song could see a certain tiger performing a rather lewd action before the panda in the room she was staring at. Song let out a fierce growl, but Viper ignored it as she dragged the stubborn Song down the steps, tempted to just ride her down like a toboggan.
An hour later, she reached the bottom of the steps, panting. She looked at Song and grimaced; thinking maybe that it would have been a good idea to put some padding around Song's face before dragging her down all those steps. Viper sighed and propped up the scuffed up leopard before dusting her off, trying to make her look presentable. She rose up to meet Song at eye level and spoke quietly and soothingly, but with a hint of determination in her voice.
"Now then; blink once for "yes" and twice for "no". Understand?"
Song blinked twice.
The snake rolled her eyes and mumbled "Smartass." but continued to clear her throat "Now are you going to hand the message to Po and/or Tigress when we arrive at the shop?"
Song blinked once.
"Good. Are you going to run away when we get there?"
Song blinked twice.
"Goooood girl. Will you be sociable and try to make nice with Tigress and Po?"
Song blinked once.
"And by "sociable" I don't mean to slash Tigress' throat. And by "nice", I don't mean raping Po. Are we clear?"
The leopard blushed, but blinked once again.
Viper smiled in satisfaction. "Good!" she removed the needles from Song's back; to which the feline collapsed onto the ground groaning.
"Remind me to squish Mantis later." muffled Song to the hard stone street.
"I'll try, sweetie." Viper helped Song up and dusted her off again until they made their way to the noodle shop.
Once they entered, the two found that many villagers had accumulated at the many tables in the restaurant. After a minute of standing and waiting, the goose everyone loved came waddling out holding a tray filled with bowls of noodles, dumplings, and bean buns. The goose quickly spotted them, and walked as fast as he could through the crowd; serving his customers at a fast rate and by the time he reached Viper and Song, the tray was empty but the goose's face was filled with the greeting smile everyone knew.
"Master Viper! It's so good to see you!" he hugged the snake as the snake hugged him back in turn.
"It's good to see you too, Mr. Ping. May we see Po and Tigress, pl-", she was interrupted by a low growl that was coming from the darkness of the kitchen; a moment later the sound was replaced by the sight of the angry tiger. None of the villagers seemed to notice much of the exchange, for they were used to the mannerisms of the Furious Five and trusted their protectors. Though a few began exchanging silent glances for bets on who would win in a fight; Viper, Tigress, or the leopard girl.
"Somehow I imagined the impression that you would be staying away from here, Song." seethed the tiger. She then trailed her view to the snake a pulled off a silent scoff as she gracefully sidled around the many customers to meet the other three in the small clear space where no tables sat "Oh, I see; you've already replaced me, have you?" Tigress wasn't, of course, referring to her position with the Furious Five as much as she was referring to her and Viper's close relationship. And Viper knew this.
"No, sister, she could never replace you." Viper said sadly. "We just came because...well, I just came because Song was too afraid to come here to give you the message! She was sent here to give you!" Viper nudged Song's knee harshly when she emphasized her words. Song flinched and growled under her breath at the situation she was forced to deal with. She fervently walked to the tiger, shoved the scroll into the latter's paws, and spun on her heels back to Viper's side; who led the end of her tail up to Song's shoulder and patted the spot in sympathy.
Tigress unraveled the scroll, never looking away from Song with slit eyes until the scroll was completely open. As she read the scroll, her face became more of a look of shock rather than of annoyance, but it was quickly replaced by anger. The scroll read:
"Dearest Master Tigress & The Dragon Warrior,
My name is King Hogonepai of Kirokuyoru City. I have sent you're, shall we say acquaintance to you to try and persuade you to come and help us. Our city is in grave danger of being destroyed by a ruthless tyrant known as "The Demon of the Fountain", and her army of youthful soldiers. I requested that the Dragon Warrior as well as yourself come and visit the city so that we may have a chance to defend ourselves. With your tactical brilliance and infamous skill in the world of Kung Fu, along with the Dragon Warrior's own natural talents, we could actually win this battle! Please come to our city where you will be treated as honored guests, and where the price for your assistance will be negotiated. Please send Grandmaster Shifu my best wishes.
Sincerely,
King Teimontee Hogonepai"
While she read the scroll, Mr. Ping began encouraging some of the customers to leave as soon as they finished eating by giving away some old "buy two dumplings get one free" coupons. Over half of the customers were gone by the time Tigress was finished; while at the same time Po came outside to see what all the fuss was while still brushing his teeth. When Tigress sensed her lover come up behind her, she handed it to him where he began to read it silently.
"This must be a trick. Song simply wishes to lead us out into the middle of nowhere just to set up an assassination for me and make Po her mate!"
In hearing this, Po started choking on the tickling foams in his mouth with a gasp. Mr. Ping rushed into the kitchen before immediately coming back out to hand Po a glass of water, which he gratefully accepted.
Song growled this time and looked down again, giving Viper a "remember-the-deal" look.
"Tigress, it's true! The letter checks out from beginning to end, we had Crane authorize the seal!" she gave Tigress a moment to take the scroll back from Po to examine it once again before continuing. "Besides, Song has explained that this place is far away, real far. You'll be gone for months! And by then maybe Shifu will come to his senses and let you both back into the palace with open arms!" she tried to smile, but it was quickly stomped out as Tigress tossed the scroll to the ground with a scoff.
"Like I give a damn what he thinks. I have a new family now. You are welcome to be a part of it, but the fact remains; Shifu is dead to me.", she turned around and started to walk back into the kitchen to finish her breakfast, but Po put his paws over her shoulders, his toothbrush now tucked in his ear.
"Tigress." he said softly, almost down to a whisper. Causing Viper to slither in closer to try and hear what the two were saying. "We have to help. If this story is true, it would be against our codes of honor to deny this. Also, where do you think this demon is going to eventually come to; and with a possibly larger army no less? Besides..." he glanced over at Viper and lowered his voice even more, but the snake could still hear every word to some extent. "This city could be our new home. Where we could start our new life together, remember?"
Tigress took a moment to reflect on his words with an impressed eye to this panda. It wasn't often when Po made sense while she denied the truth. She smiled at him and, noticing out of the corner of her eye the Song had been staring at them to try and listen in, she decided to land a big, long, sweet passionate kiss onto Po's lips, which he graciously returned while still keeping ahold of her shoulders. Song could feel her tears stinging her eyes as she silently crept to the doorway to stand and lean on the wall with her back to them; just in case she couldn't hold her tears back. Viper wasn't feeling too ecstatic either with the news that her two best friends were ready and willing to leave them forever to live in a place so far away.
After the kiss was broken, the tiger nodded once "Fine. I'm willing to take this chance if you are. But", she whispered in Po's ear so quietly that it was almost inaudible "if Song tries anything with you. A kiss, a hug, a cute glance, even a friendly handshake, I will personally beat her down with as much rage as I can muster. So if you care for her as a friend, make sure she doesn't get too close to you, okay?"
Her words sounded harsh, but her voice was soft. Tigress had finally explained to Po last night about Song's attempts with him when they first met and he agreed that it would be best for everyone if he kept his distance from her. Po nodded understandably to Tigress and sighed as he scratched the back of his head "Damn it, this is gonna be the longest, most awkward, most unnerving trip ever!"
Tigress attempted to copy his signature awkward smirk, but before she could succeed her eyes dilated from a sudden and unnerving sound. She ran to the doorway of the noodle shop, grabbed Song, flung her back behind the wall on the other side of the doorway and held her there while grabbing the leopard's arms.
Song struggled to get free, her tears still visible. "Let me go-", Tigress put her paw to Song's mouth as she looked towards the right side of the doorway, showing a small arrow imbedded in the stone. She walked over to it and pulled the arrow out, leaving a small bit of rubble on the ground as she sighed.
"Assassins; and they've got a sniper. Fan-fucking-tastic."