Introspection and Inspection ~ Chapter Six
Rating: NC-18/Mature Explicit ~ADULTS ONLY! SMINK warning (SmutKink) Contains consentual D/s.
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, any of Chuck's characters, and make no money from this. Purely for pleasure.

Special thanks to BigBadJayne for his invaluable help and most excellent beta throughout this series! You Rock, Big Guy! ;D Y'all enjoy!

.*.*.

The first icy drops of rain splattered against John's face as he stared down at her dark hair.

She still hadn't spoken.

Ellie had listened with quiet attention as he put it all on the line. He had wrestled with how to tell her, how much of his real life to share. In the end, though, the answer had been staring at him all along, framed within two smoky gray eyes.

He told her everything. At least, everything that pertained to him and wouldn't compromise national security. Told her what he was. A military-trained, government-ordered operative. A man who had saved lives, and taken lives to save others. Lived his life according to the needs of his country, and admittedly, sometimes according to the whims of politics.

He told her he'd never seen this coming. Never planned on falling for her. Hadn't even thought it possible, that he could find someone who could make him feel this deeply, to want more than just a convenient, temporary affair. Cause him to yearn for someone who wanted a permanent place in his life, and would return that commitment.

She had yet to utter a single word, just kept staring out at the dark waves. Though mere inches separated her back from his pounding chest, the distance felt like a thousand miles. If he lost her now…

The silence between his admission and her response wrapped around his torso, threatening to crush out the breath he was holding. He had waited for her all these long months with a seed of hope. Yet if she couldn't accept the truth about him, if she chose to turn and walk back across the sand and out the door and out of his life forever, he had to accept that. Let her go.

At least he knew how to leave, he thought bitterly. He was a master of detachment and extrication, skilled in abandoning the cover or the alias as protocol or situations dictated. The elements of his job had demanded it so many times over the past twenty years that he couldn't clearly recall them all, but it didn't matter so long as the job got done. Wouldn't be the first time he'd disappeared. But in the back of his mind, in the hidden vulnerable corner he didn't like to admit existed, he knew it would be the time that finally broke him.

As John let himself memorize the lines of her back, committing the shine of her hair and her light floral perfume to memory, the weight of her decision pounded against the back of his head.

.*.*.

"I don't care."

John took a sharp, deep breath to clear his mind of the reverie before she turned to face him, her dark eyes smoldering with intent. The light drizzle of rain caught in her hair, the droplets resting like sparkling jewels against her thick lashes.

"Doesn't change anything," she said, running both palms up the front of his shirt. "I've thought about this a long time, John. You had valid reasons for keeping the truth from me. I can't imagine what that must have cost you all these years. I don't care about the job. I just want to be with you."

With a measured exhale, he slid his arms around her, pulling her to him as her arms slipped around his neck. Resting his forehead against hers, he let himself get lost in those smoky depths for a moment as his heart started again.

"I mean, as long as you're not, you know, a drug kingpin, or selling women into the sex trade or running a Ponzi scheme, or some such."

He threw his head back and laughed at that, a little surprised at the openness of the sound coming out of his own body. How long had it been since he'd let that happen, or since anyone had made him feel that depth of freedom, for that matter.

"Besides," she shrugged sheepishly, "who am I to judge anyone for having secrets? Yours is safe with me, John. Just as I know mine's safe with you."

"You are something special, Eleanor Faye," he told her, dipping down to kiss the raindrops from her lush lips. "Very special. I don't think you even realize."

Pulling back, he captured her gaze and took a deep breath. "I just want you to know… what you were searching for, that night when I found you alone? We don't have to go there, not right away, if you're not comfortable with that. I'm just… thrilled to hold you, know you're with me. All right?"

"All right," she nodded, nibbling the corner of her lip and shivering as the sprinkles turned to a steady light rain. "But what if… what if I do?"

"If you do, we can. Either now, or later, it's up to you. Is that something you want now?"

"Yes," she said, ducking her head shyly. "But… it's just…"

"You can say it, Eleanor. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want. Don't be ashamed for wanting it."

"Yes, I want it," she said firm and clear, meeting his eyes without wavering. "I just… I don't know…I've never… not with anyone else, that is. I mean, I don't know… what to do, exactly."

John smiled, cupping her face in his hands. "That's all right, sweetheart. You don't have to know everything at once, no one does. And we'll go slow. A little at a time, try things you think you'd like, not worry about things you don't. Have you picked a safeword?"

"Safeword?"

"If you start feeling things are getting too far out of control, your safeword is an 'all-stop'. Or 'red' to stop, 'yellow' to slow down or pause for a minute."

"Okay, good" she breathed, relaxing against him again. "That's good. It's only… I'm not sure what I'd like to try, you know, other than the cuffs and blindfold. That's as far as I've taken it, and really, I don't know what else there is."

"Hmmm," he grinned. "Well, there's much, much more, sweetheart. But for now, I think we'll just stick with the basics, a few things we both know you like for starters. We'll talk about a few other ideas I think you might like later. Is that all right with you?"

Ellie nodded with a relieved smile. "That would be good."

"Good. C'mon, let's get inside before we get drowned."

John took her hand and they ran the last few yards back to the beach house as the storm clouds let loose. Heavy raindrops pelted Ellie's dress, plastering the thin cotton to her skin, highlighting the absence of a bra.

Pulling her into the kitchen, John closed the door and leaned her against it. She reached to swipe the rivulets of water running down his face, dripping from his darkened hair. Fascinated by the wetness of his mouth, she started toward him to taste it, but something primal shifted in his eyes. Huge, strong hands pinned her to the door, holding her at arm's length and devouring her with hungry eyes.

Already stiff from the cool air and wet cloth, Ellie's nipples hardened as his predatory gaze raked across her breasts like a physical touch, acknowledging the darker, bullet-shaped buds straining against her nearly translucent clothes.

"Strip."

Ellie shivered at the quiet force in his tone. He'd said it no more loudly than as if making cordial conversation, but she couldn't mistake the firmness under the word for anything less than an order. His eyes were blue fire, confirming that this was a command, one he expected to be carried out without question or delay.

Keeping her eyes locked on his face, Ellie reached around to unzip the back of her summer dress. The motion thrust her now aching nipples further into his view, and they didn't go unnoticed. As she lowered the slide, John reached out to casually trace the taut fabric with his middle finger, letting his nail drag lightly across it. A shudder ran through her body, bringing a wolfish smile to his lips.

Stepping back with appreciative eyes, he licked his lips slowly, watching her peel the drenched cotton from her body like a second skin. The sodden fabric dropped to the floor around her ankles, but Ellie didn't even register the sound. Feeling self-conscious, she wrapped her arms across her chest.

"Stop that," he said firmly, brushing the back of his fingers along her upper arm, adding to the goosebumps already there. "Uncover yourself. Bare yourself to me."

Nodding, she shyly lowered her arms to her sides, feeling more vulnerable than she ever had, more than even that night he'd found her bound in her bed.

"Step forward," he ordered, the marine in his voice strong. "Chin up. Eyes forward. Legs shoulder-width apart. Hands laid flat on the small of your back! Shoulders back. Chest out. Further! Point those guns like you mean to use them, girl!"

A tiny smile curled at the edge of her mouth at the image, but the serious intent on his face forced her to stifle the giggle rising in her throat. John clasped his hands behind his back, standing in front of her and looking her up and down as if she were on military inspection. His sharp eyes took in every detail as he pivoted on his heel and strolled around her.

"Hmmm…yes… yes, this will do very nicely, I think," he mused. "Form's a little civilian, but with a little hard work, I'm sure you'll…eyes forward!"

Ellie snapped her eyes to the front, giving up on trying to follow him as he slowly circled. Every turn around, he stopped to adjust her posture, taking her hand and positioning it correctly, or placing on hand on her lower abdomen and pushing her back into a straighter alignment. Coming around behind her, he slid a hand down the back of her thigh to her knee. "Don't lock up those knees, girl, don't wanna pass out, now. No telling what would happen while you were out."

"I'm not a girl, I'm a grown woman!" she huffed, irritated that he'd called her that twice now. Her irritation turned to a startled gasp as his hand landed smartly on her bare ass cheek.

"A grown woman? You think so?" he scoffed as his hand smoothed across the sting. "Not yet, you're not. You're not a full grown woman until you can prove it to me… girl," he let the word curl around in his mouth like a growl, his chest reverberating against the skin of her back as he leaned into her. His thick thigh slid between her legs, nudging them further apart. She adjusted her stance to accommodate, feeling the wetness increase between her legs as his thigh brushed against her aroused lips.

"You are not to cover yourself again, unless I say," he murmured against her ear. "Do you understand?"

She nodded, but he shook his head slightly, dropping to kiss along her shoulder. Ellie sighed, then inhaled sharply when his teeth quickly nipped the juncture of her neck. "Say the words."

"Yes, I understand."

He nipped again, closer to her hairline. "Yes, what?"

"Yes…yes, Sir?"

"Mmm," he purred, suckling the lobe of her ear and splaying a large hand against her belly. "Sir… Oh, that's very nice, sounds so damned good coming from your sweet mouth."

"Ahh... thank you… Sir," Ellie offered, getting into the spirit of things. She was surprised by how aroused the roleplay had gotten her, despite never having considered joining the military.

"Think you're gonna like it in 'This Man's Service', girl," he promised, sliding his hands up to cup her breasts. Kneading them lightly, he let the globes rest in his palms as nimble fingers captured and rolled her nipples. Surprising her with a long, firm pinch to each, he pulled a bit harder, holding them taut and a bit away from her body, and it felt like he'd tapped some secret line reaching straight into her groin. "It can be very rewarding, all kinds of new... perks," he tweaked the sensitive buds again, "that I know you're gonna like. Take you places you've only dreamed of."

A lightheadedness over came her, and she felt her knees start to buckle. Trembling, her body rocked slightly front to back as the smooth rumble of his voice rolled over her.

"C'mere," he murmured as he wrapped his arms around her, giving her a long squeeze and running his hand down her arm until their fingers interlaced. "Let's get you warmed up first."

He led her through the dimly-lit house, pushing the door open to the large bath. The lights were off, but several thick candles cast a bright shimmer against the tiles, highlighting the massive claw-foot tub in the corner. Tendrils of steam rose from the light blanket of bubbles, carrying a light, clean fragrance through the room. Next to the tub, on a table in the corner, two glasses sat next to a metal bucket filled with ice and a tall, dark bottle of a wine.

Pulling her to the tub, he steadied her as she stepped one leg then the other into the wonderfully warm water, telling her not to sit just yet. Closing her eyes, she stood there a moment as luxurious bubbles caressed her knees. When she opened them again, he was standing there with her, his body a mix of hard planes and smooth curved muscles. The breath caught in the back of her throat as she let her eyes drink him in, stopped altogether as he reached for her hand, bringing it to his lips.

Settling her between his long legs, her back against his chest, he brought his arms around her, holding her for several long moments. Ellie rested her head back against his sturdy shoulder, turning her face into the crook of his neck as he scooped water up over her shoulders.

"Feels good," she hummed against his warm skin, letting the warmth of the water and the heat of the man against her soak the rain's chill from her body. "Feels like…"

She curled into him with a smile, letting her fingertips drift along his chest and neck and arms. Feeling emboldened, she slid her palm further down his stomach, tracing the point of his hips and the tops of his thighs, but almost studiously avoiding the growing hardness against her hip.

"Feels like…?" he pursued, his own hands casually roaming her skin beneath the water.

Ellie looked up at him, struck by how relaxed his body was, yet how fiercely the fire burned in his eyes. "Feels like coming home," she whispered.

"Because you are," he answered roughly, his hand slipping up to the back of her neck as his lips suddenly descended on hers in a kiss that shot a bolt of primal heat to her stomach. His tongue plundered her mouth seeking, demanding response.

"Mine," he growled against her mouth as she moaned. With his hand still holding her neck, he pulled her to lay face to face with him in the water. His other hand roamed down her back, cupping the cheek of her ass and pressing her lower body into his. Two long, strong legs wrapped around hers as his mouth continued its assault on her senses. "Mine."

"Yours," she answered, running her own hands up his back, trying to get even closer. "Yours."

.*.*.

To be continued…