***ENGLISH ISN'T MY LANGUAGE***
Hi guys, i know it's been ages, but I'm back! (Kind of)
I just wanted to let you know that I've had a lot of trouble keeping up with this fic, especially because of the lack of scenes between Teddy and Mer and also because for me has been REALLY hard to write Meredith, especially in the first person. It is for that reason that I've decided from now on to write the rest of the fic in the third person.
I'm not entirely happy with it, it completely changes the essence and tone of how the fic started, but it's the only way I can continue writing. I really hope you don't mind.
It took me some work to write this and I'm fully aware that it's not exactly the best thing I've written, but hopefully in the future it will be easier and better. Let me know what you think, your reviews always keep me going :)
I Can't Do This...
"Balloons, mom!" Exclaimed little Zola. "We need balloons, many, many balloons, pink and blue!"
"Of course we need them!" Meredith replied writing the item down on their shopping list for the small gender reveal party they were organizing for Teddy. It would be something small, in the park, only Mer, the children, Teddy and Owen who as soon as he knew, he wanted to join the celebration.
"And cake!" Little Bailey added.
"What's all this?" Maggie asked, confused when she entered the kitchen and saw Meredith and the children making the list.
"It's for a party, aunt Maggie!" Zola answered, enthusiastically.
"A party? Whose?"
"Oh, it's for Teddy". Meredith replied, smiling.
"Teddy? As in Teddy, Owen's baby mama?" Maggie asked, frowning.
"Yes, the same". Meredith replied, unconcerned by Maggie's facial expression. "So, what more do we need, children?"
"Candies and cookies". Little Ellis said, timidly.
"You're right, darling, we can't forget the candies and the cookies!"
"Can we bring ice cream?" Bailey asked.
"Yes! Teddy loves vanilla ice cream!" Zola added.
"Hmmm I don't know... ice cream would melt, but why not? we'll think of some way to bring ice cream". Meredith replied.
Meanwhile Maggie looked confused at all the action. She didn't understand how Meredith was organizing a party for Teddy when her sister, Amelia, was having so much trouble with Owen.
"Ok, ok, kids, can you give me a moment alone with your mom?" Maggie intervened. "I need to talk to her about something very important". Meredith looked at Maggie confused.
"Yes, auntie!" The children said in unison and left the kitchen leaving Meredith and Maggie alone.
"What do you want to talk about?" Meredith asked.
"What is all this, Meredith?!"
"Our plan for the party?" Meredith replied.
"Meredith, you're throwing a party for Teddy... which side are you on?"
Meredith looked at her frowning confused. "Side? I'm not on anyone's side. Teddy is my friend".
Maggie chuckled humorlessly. "Since when?! Mer, you can't do this to Amelia!"
"I'm not doing anything to Amelia! Maggie, you don't know what's really happening. The problems between Amelia and Owen go far beyond Teddy and I must say it doesn't surprise me, considering that she fled the day of her wedding".
"That was the product of her tumor and you know it!"
"Was it? Look, Maggie... I've known Teddy and Owen since long before I met Amelia. Teddy has been in Owen's life since long before Amelia even before Cristina, she is part of his life and now with a baby they will be together for life. Things are not going to change".
Maggie huffed and sat heavily on the chair. "I know, I know that Owen and Amelia are not exactly the most stable couple, but they were starting to work thing out, until Teddy came back. Amelia was so happy and now... "
"No Maggie, I'm sorry but Teddy has nothing to do with the problems that Owen and Amelia are now having. Her problems revolve around Betty and Leo; she has nothing to do with them. And what did you expect? You expected Teddy to never tell Owen about their child? If you think that it surprises me coming from you, Maggie".
"I know, I know, I'm sorry. It's just that I hate to see Amelia so… down".
"Me too, but in the end it's just the consequences of their actions. She decided to go back to Owen and stay with him before and after Teddy came back pregnant. She decided to take care of children who were not theirs, they knew that those children were not permanent in their lives... they knew what could happen".
"It sucks!"
"It does". Meredith replied, grimacing sympathetically, just at that moment the door of the house opened, Amelia had arrived with all her belongings. Immediately she went to the kitchen where her sisters were.
"Amelia, what happened?!" Maggie asked when she saw Amelia's watery eyes.
"Owen and I are done". Amelia answered. Meredith and Maggie shared a look.
Days later, the day of the party finally arrived. The children were ecstatic and Teddy and Owen were nervous to find out the sex of their baby.
"Ok, are you ready?!" Meredith asked, handing Teddy and Owen their respective smoke bombs and getting her camera ready to record video. The future parents nodded nervously, the children went to stand next to them.
"Come on Teddy, shoot it now!" Little Zola exclaimed, jumping excitedly.
"First the countdown, Zozo!" Meredith pointed. "Ready? 3… 2... 1!"
Teddy and Owen shot the bombs at the same time seeing themselves surrounded by a huge cloud of pink smoke.
"IT'S A GIRL!" The children shouted.
Owen hugged Teddy tightly lifting her off the ground and twirling her in the air making her laugh. "We are having a baby girl". Owen whispered in her ear.
Then Meredith approached her to hug her and both jumped with happiness. "A girl!" Meredith exclaimed. "I'm so happy for you!"
"Thank you. And thanks for all this, really, it's more than what I expected and what I deser—"
"Don't you dare say it's more than what you deserve!" Meredith warned her with her index finger smiling. "You deserve it Teddy, a baby is always a cause for joy and celebration!"
Teddy smiled at Meredith and hugged her tightly again.
"Can we trade her when she's born for a boy?!" Little Bailey asked, making everyone laugh.
"Bailey!" Meredith exclaimed, laughing.
"Oh no, young boy. I want my baby girl". Owen said holding Teddy from behind, placing his hands on her baby bump and kissing her on the cheek. Immediately she slipped out of his arms feeling deeply uncomfortable. Meredith soon noticed.
"Come Teddy, we have more surprises for you and the baby!" Zola said, taking Teddy by the hand and taking her to see the rest of the gifts that she, her siblings and her mother had bought for Teddy and the baby, leaving Meredith and Owen alone.
"So... I see you still don't tell Teddy that Amelia and you've finished".
"I don't see why I should tell her". Owen answered, defensively.
"Well, maybe because she thinks you're in a relationship and out of nowhere you hug her and kiss her... making her uncomfortable, Owen. This day was supposed to be perfect and you made her uncomfortable and not only that, you are confusing her. Be honest with her, Owen". Meredith said turning around, realizing that Teddy had heard the little exchange between her and Owen.
"So you and Amelia are finished". Teddy said, emotionlessly.
"Teddy, I—" Owen began.
"Not, it's ok. I'm not interested in what you do with your love life". Teddy interrupted and then turned around and went to join the children, pretending she was okay when deep down she wanted to cry, but the company of the little ones was so distracting and warmed her heart so much that she preferred to focus on them and forget for a moment Owen and all their drama.
"Teddy, you forgot to open this gift!" Bailey exclaimed, jumping up and down, handing her a gift box with a huge blue bow.
"Oh yeah, let's see what we have here!" Teddy opened the box and inside was a white stuffed rabbit.
"Do you like it?!" The boy asked, with a huge smile.
Teddy looked at him biting her lips to avoid crying, but it was useless, her emotions were already out of control, then finding out that she would have a baby girl, then about Owen and Amelia, then all the love she was receiving from Meredith and the children, all the accumulation only made her emotions to burst.
Quickly wiping away a couple of tears, Teddy hugged the rabbit. "I love it, and I'm sure she will love it too". She said, rubbing her rounded baby bump.
"I wanted it to be a boy". Bailey said, with a pout.
"Maybe later you can have another baby that is a boy!" Zola added, innocently.
"Maybe". Teddy responded, just to keep up with the kids.
The rest of the afternoon Meredith and Teddy played with the children while Owen saw them all sitting from a bench.
"They ended because of me, didn't they?" Teddy asked Meredith as she helped her collect all the trash from the little party before leaving the park.
"No Teddy, I assure you it wasn't for you!" Meredith assured her.
"Look, I know that Amelia is your sister and that you love her and I don't want you to feel between a rock and a hard place, you don't have to take sides, Amelia is your sister and I... I can't do this".
"What do you mean?" Meredith asked, confused.
"I don't know if I can be around you and the kids with Amelia there. I couldn't even see her in the face!"
"You're not saying we can't see each other anymore because Amelia and Owen are over, isn't it?"
"Meredith... I thank you infinitely for everything you've done for me since I came back, you and the children have been the only thing that has kept me sane in these last weeks. You didn't have to do any of this and yet you did it and my life won't be enough to thank you, but I can't do this..." Teddy said, in a broken voice. "I can't keep bringing problems to the people around me so... this is for the best... again, thank you very much and please... say goodbye to the children". She finished putting the last bag of garbage in the trash can, took her bag and without looking at the children, Meredith or Owen left the place walking as fast as she could, crying.
"Mommy, Mommy Teddy is leaving!" Little Zola shouted as Teddy walked away from them.
"Where is she going?!" Bailey asked. "She's forgetting her gifts!"
"Meredith, what happened?!" Owen intervened.
"Children, help me put all the gifts together, okay? We'll get them to Teddy, she had to go because of an emergency".
"Meredith, what happened?!" Owen insisted.
"She left, she doesn't want to be around us anymore, she doesn't want to keep causing problems". Meredith answered, hopelessly.
"What? She isn't causing problems!"
"That's what I tried to tell her, but she's too stubborn, you know her better than me".
"I have to reach her; I have to talk to her!"
"Owen, no. Leave her alone, give her space, all this is too much for her and right now her emotions are out of control and she sees things bigger than they really are... let's wait for her to come back to us".
"She won't. I know her, she won't do it unless someone talks to her to do it and those would be you or me, so no, she won't come back to us".
"Then leave it to me. I'll talk to her, but tomorrow, now we have to give her some space".
Owen nodded resignedly.
Back home, Teddy went directly to her bedroom to lie down and cry in bed. She regretted her decision so much, she regretted the moment she turned around and walked away from Meredith and the children, but everything was finished, she really wanted to stop causing so much havoc in her path. Maybe returning to Seattle was the worst thing she could've done, maybe she should've told Owen, but stay in Germany, that way if there was havoc she wouldn't be there to witness, to feel the accusatory stares.
"Maybe it's better to go back to Germany". With this thought Teddy fell asleep…