They could have gone inside Katherine's home. Actually, Hiccup had tried to talk Astrid into going inside the house. He kept telling her it was better for her lungs to be inside.
"Hiccup, it's sixty-five degrees outside-I'll be fine-" she had told him.
So, they made their way around the back of the house. Attached to the rear of the home was a small but inviting covered porch. Hiccup used a butter knife that Katherine kept under a rock to slip the lock up through a crack in the doorway to gain access. Astrid narrowed his eyes at him.
"Dad does it all the time," he said putting the butter knife back where he found it.
The two sat down on an old, red picnic bench to the left of the side doorway. Astrid was surprised Hiccup hadn't taken a seat directly beside her, but realized soon later why. He was trying to stretch out. Very gently and stiffly he laid his leg over the top of the bench, using the top of the wooden table to support his thin frame against.
Astrid began pulling her book and paper out, when she caught Hiccup eyeing her closely. This caused her to stop suddenly, and he darted his eyes away from her.
"What?" she asked.
"Nothing," he said gently.
"You looked like you had something you wanted to say," she said.
He did.
"I still think you should be inside. I worry about your lungs not being strong enough."
His eyes showed concern. And she knew it was for her. They hadn't seen each other in a week, and Hiccup seemed more worried about her than he was of himself. The thought crossed her mind about how selfish she'd been for a full week. Feeling miserable that she hadn't gotten to see Hiccup, and she hadn't been able to talk to him on the phone. All he was worried about was her - she knew that.
"I'll be all right for a bit," she said, taking her seat across from him. Her voice was gentle.
He sighed. "Okay. But if I say we are going inside - we are going inside?"
She nodded.
"So, what question are you on?"
Astrid looked at him again.
"Are you all right?" she asked.
He frowned at her a little bit.
"Yes - why?"
"You are just acting a bit - different."
"I'm all right," he said, breaking eye contact and pulling her work paper towards him. "Problem 25-" He laughed. "I had trouble with these too..."
It was clear that he wasn't going to let her in. He became this way when he was stressed, she'd learned. Or, had something he didn't want to talk about. Perhaps it was the worry of her showing up unexpectedly to the house...He knowing that his father was inside on the verge of a rage over the court case. Or, maybe it was something else going through his mind. Perhaps the way her parents had reacted at the hospital.
She tried to push that out of her mind and focus on her homework. The first few minutes she had to force herself to pay attention. She'd missed Hiccup so much, and hadn't talked to him on the phone in a week - she'd forgotten the sound of his gentle voice. The comforting tone, the sound of his nervous laugh he still had on the occasion. But, somehow she was able to push those thoughts back. She didn't know how long they would be able to be together if her mother and father actually came for her at some point. Even though her curfew was nine that night, she was worried in the back of her head that her mother would try to come after her.
They sat at the bench for over an hour going through math equations together. At one point, Astrid shifted in her seat, then moved over to the little area beside him that remained vacant on his bench. She was tired of leaning over the table so she could see him explain the process of a few of the equations. While she worked independently on problems and even examples in the book, she could feel Hiccup studying her - most likely watching for signs of the illness coming on.
A few times she noticed he'd grow a little tense, and eventually she realized he was rubbing the top of his knee a bit. After the third or fourth time of seeing him grow rigid, she placed her pencil into the binding of the book, and closed it.
"Astrid, we aren't done-"
"Let's take a break," she said turning towards him. "What's going on?"
"I'm helping you with math," he said defensively.
"No, Hiccup," she said. "What's the deal with your leg - I know you are hurting."
His eyes darted away from her, and he knew he'd been caught.
"I just didn't want you worrying," he said quietly.
He was too considerate and too wise for his age. Two of the many attributes that drew Astrid towards him.
"What do I have to worry about?" she asked him.
He paused for a moment, then smiled at her. "It's nothing, Astrid. I'll be all right. Nothing I can't handle - don't narrow your eyes at me-"
They shared a small laugh before he reached over and picked up her pencil, handing it to her.
"Keep going - I want to make sure you get your math completed before you have to go home."
A few problems in - and about a half hour later -
"If you are able to get this problem you'll most likely have the other ten or so completed on your own."
"I don't know, Hiccup, I'm pretty sketchy with math."
"Sometimes I think you just fake it to come see me."
Another laugh was shared. "I don't fake it - having issues with math homework has it's perks however -"
"In what way?"
She felt herself blush a little bit. "Well, I get to spend some extra time with you."
A faint smile spread across his lips, which disappeared when he became rigid and actually called out suddenly in pain.
"Hiccup -"
"It's fine, Astrid," he said, gripping his knee now with both hands. "Just aching a bit-"
She knew that he was edgy when she stood up and went around him.
"Why are you still wearing this thing?" she asked, pointing towards his prosthetic. "Why did you even put it on? You had it off when I came over?"
"I just don't like to not wear it out and about anymore," he replied.
Astrid understood his reasoning. People stared at him when he was moving around on his crutches. Eyes would dark towards the area his leg should have been at when he didn't have it on. He'd grown self conscious about it over the last several months. She was one of the people who'd glance at him in the hallways. She was still guilty of this when they were together, too, mainly because if he didn't have it on she wanted to be mindful if he needed anything - and also notice when he was acting like this.
"You are here at Katherine's," she said to him. "C'mon, you'll feel better with it off."
She helped him release the pin on the leg, which in turn released the suction tightening around his stump. He winced slightly at this, knowing some of the pressure was releasing from his leg which probably led to the urge of pain. Immediately he began massaging it to release the ache. All Astrid could do was sit down with him and wait.
"How bad is it?" she asked after a few minutes.
"I've been through worse," he said to her. "Way worse."
Knowing he'd been through worse made her feel both better and sad for him. A freak accident on a ladder on the edge of the roof had caused all this damage to one leg.
"I did too much today," he said.
"I take it you went hiking?" she asked him.
A smile spread across his face. "It felt good - but I over did it."
"Where did you go?"
His eyes glanced towards her, and she knew he didn't want to say. He'd probably be getting himself in trouble with her. The small smirk that was growing on his face told her he'd gone past where he should have for his father's comfort. Typically the most Hiccup would hike into the woods alone was about a mile. When Astrid would go with him he'd push his limits.
"I went until I felt the first wave," he finally said. He shrugged.
"Mr. Reckless."
"I made it back," he replied.
"Still - you know how it worried your dad...And it concerns me."
He shrugged. "I needed the hike. I even fell down the hill-" His laugh followed her reaction, and it was then she knew he was only trying to get a rise out of her.
"Hiccup, we both know if you fell down the hill you probably wouldn't have walked back."
His face changed. He could tell she was giving him both a hard way to go and also trying to get him to understand the severity of him going that far alone without someone with him. His father rarely went hiking with him anymore. They used to run on the occasion together, but since Hiccup's accident running was pretty much a thing of the past. Astrid felt for him there. It was one of the few ways he and his father had connected.
"I've missed the sound of your voice," Hiccup said, leaning up from his leg. She watched him bend it, tucking it closer to his body.
"Funny. I've thought the same thing the last few days."
Silence hung between them for a few minutes, then -
"Astrid, are your parents - are they afraid of me now?"
She knew it would come out eventually. Hiccup wasn't a fan of having something hovering over his shoulders for very long. And, neither was she. The strain from the small incident in the hospital had pushed her parents away from him, at least both of them briefly. Astrid hadn't seen the episode Hiccup had in front of them. But, she could easily visualize it by the few details her father described.
She chew on her words for a moment before she answered. Hiccup looked anxious to hear her speak, but he did not push.
"It worried them, I won't lie," Astrid said. She watched his face become disappointed as she said this. She knew he knew the truth, hearing it was just painful. "Mom's the hardest one to get through. Dad has seemed to calm down a bit, though. He's the one that handed me the keys - oh, he said hello, too, by the way."
"Astrid, I never meant to hurt the relationship I had with your family - what little bit I had at least-"
"Hiccup, you can't help it."
He sighed, and looked away for a moment, lost in some thought. He was trying to find the words to say, she could tell.
"When the chaos started on your floor - I shut down. And, I had a difficult time bringing myself back up. I'd been a slow, downward spiral since we'd managed to get you through the doors. Once you were gone from my sight, and I turned around - empty of your company - the panic set in." He paused and swallowed hard. "When I felt the need to be there for you, to help your dad - I was able to hold it together. At least, I felt like I had been. But, once the doors shut me out from seeing you, I found a corner in the waiting room to sit at, and I pulled open the closest magazine, and I sat there staring intently at the same picture on the page for - I think well over an hour."
His voice broke a bit. Astrid wanted to reach out and touch him, hold him and tell him that everything was all right. Obviously, things were all right - now. But Hiccup needed to talk. She could tell he wanted to tell her and explain himself.
"Once you were in that room and stabilized, I felt the walls crashing in on me. I worked through it the best I could, but it was hard. I won't deny how hard it was for me to work my way through it and keep what little composure I had. But, when that man coded just doors down from you, and I could see and-and hear the hospital staff rushing around...That was when I felt myself lying on the cold ground after my fall. Remembering all the sounds, my dad screaming, the neighbors - the neighbors talking and moving on their porches without coming to check on my dad..."
He was visibly shaking at this point, and Astrid reached her hand out to him, and he gladly took it into both of his.
"I'm sorry, Astrid," he said. "I went to see my counselor this week - she referred me over to another person who specializes more in PTSD -"
"Hiccup - " Astrid said forcefully to obtain his eye contact back. And, to keep him from crumbling in on himself with his words. "Why are they referring you to someone?"
"I can't deal with it anymore," he finally said. "If I can't protect you when you have pneumonia, how am I supposed to help Dad if he has a heart attack from his stress? That's been spinning through my head for months. Some nights if I was awake in my bed in the hospital and watching him worry over me - I always feared he'd have a heart attack worrying over me and not worrying over his clients and -"
Astrid couldn't help but lean forward into him and hug him. Even though he wasn't weeping, he shook in her arms, and he held her tightly as well.
"Hiccup - we will get through this. You will get through this," she said. "I know it sucks, I know it's scary."
"I couldn't be there for you, Astrid. Because of it -"
"You were there for me as much as you could be, Hiccup. Don't think you weren't, all right? You being there for me as much as you physically could was more than enough. I'm just sorry about my parents."
"They let you come out today and see me," Hiccup said, clearing his throat, trying to rid his voice of his worrisome emotion. "That's a start into the best direction I can think of, right?"
Astrid nodded at him with a weak smile. "You are right, Hiccup, it is."
...
I wanted these two to get through this before I closed this mini-story. I by no means meant for it to be 6 chapters long but it kind of grew on me, and I am thankful it did. I feel as though my writing style is evolving, and I want to thank those of you who read, follow and review for me. I do believe Fanfiction has helped me improve as a writer.
Much love 3