Authors Note- READ END NOTES IMPORTANT!!!!

Disclaimer- Nothing

Show me what I'm looking for- Carolina Liar

BPOV

After the awkward meet we walked in and got a table. I sat between Alice and Emmett.

" So Bella what have you been up to after umm you left Forks?" Rose asked

" I went to college and after a few unfortunate events I ended up here in a house that was my grandfathers that he left me. I opened a music hall, Twilight music hall and my grandfather used to own this resturaunt he gave it to me." I wanted to make it as short as possible

There facial expression was more surprised then I would have thought.

" I drove by that music hall beautiful on the outside." Alice said.

" Thank you."

We ordered our food and fell into easy conversation. Alice had become a designer, Jasper a lawyer, Emmett a gym teacher and Rose working with children. Emmett and Rose had gotten married as well as Alice and Jasper. Esme and Carlisle had moved out here only a year ago. Making them all come because they didnt want to be apart and plus Alice said that Edward was here first

It took alot not to stare at Edward and Rachel.

I didnt understand why he broke it off. College was a temporary thing, we could of enjoyed the time we had when we had it.

" Bella." Rose said as she waved a hand infront of my face. I shook my head lightly.

" Sorry. Just spaced out." I said " Will you excuse me for a minute. I'll be right back." I said.

They nodded and I stood up. I walked outside into the night air. I sat on one of the two seat bench. And left myself to my thoughts.

It's my luck that truly sucks. I have none that withers in me. I took deep breaths and checked my watch. Only two minutes.

I breathed in the fresh air greedily

After five years the break up still hurt me like a deep wound. It wasnt as bad as the beginning but I can still feel the hole that ripped my heart. It hurt me to see him with someone else but made me happy that he was happy because in the long run thats all I want. I want him to he happy even if I am as miserable as hell.

I knew he said that I didnt deserve someone you dont see every week. Then who do I deserve. I am plain and ordinary I have no idea why he picked me in the beginning. Because he loved me, we loved eachother, nothing else mattered. I smiled just thinking of the memories, when Charie caught us in the kitchen doing the Cha Cha Slide and a few times making out in my bedroom. I laughed at those things because back then I was as happy as ever. Nothing needed to be fixed or perfected because I simply felt I had it all, and it was great while it lasted. It was an adventure that I wished never ended but it did and I am glad that I got atleast two years of feeling like that. I still loved Edward, he still holds my heart. Nobody could add up to what he did. Because in my eyes he was perfect and flawless.

I sighed and stood up.

I walked back to the table and sat down.

" Sorry about that." I said'

" It's fine. You alright?" Emmett asked

" Uhh yeah. I am."

Liar!

Zip it!

We ate our food and the bill came. I got out my wallet out and put the bills in ther and handed it to James, who smirked at me. I smacked his arm when they werent looking.

" Hey. I was going to pay." Alice said.

" Too late." I commented.

She glared playfully at me. We stood up and walked outside.

Although I was the seventh wheel I got some enjoyment out of this.

" It was nice seeing you again Bella." Alice said next to me.

" Same here." I responded. She gave me a small smile.

We came to a stop at the parking lot and and made an agreement to have dinner sometime again. I noticed the daggers that were now coming from Rachel. I shrugged it off as best as I could.

Edward and Rachel left immediatly. I talked with the rest for a few minutes before leaving.

I pulled up to my house and parked my car. I got out and went to get my mail. It was at the end of my driveway off to the side. I walked down and grabbed it. I shuffled through it. It was mostly junk mail. While I walked back I stole a glance at Edward's house and there he was, pinning his girlfriend against his car and kissing her. I sighed and kept walking.

As I walked I slipped my heels off. I wanted to throw them at something. I was never a violent person but at this moment I wanted to be violent for just a second. Get a chance to relieve anger a pain.

A few years back when I told Jake and Leah my story they bought me a punching bag as a joke. To me it was but to them they said I quote 'Need to relieve any pain or anger'. I thought it was stupid but I actually did use it at times. Stupid but it also kinda helps. I had black almost glove like things but not bulky. It was like a glove but the base of my hand when it faced up wasnt covered when you slipped it on. It had velcro to get it on.

I went into my house and let the dog out real fast. Even though Edward wasnt in his backyard I let Chip do his annual barking fest. It would be funny to watch him attack Edward. Ha.

After I let him in I went upstairs to my room and changed out of my work clothes and into something more comfortable. I went down the hall and went into my library. It had dark wooded built in shelves that had so many books there was a glass chandelier and it had shaggy gold carpet and a burgundy couch. Most of the books were my grandfathers, he was in the army years back he had old war books. Jasper would probably have a field day in here. I laughed alowd. Alteast fifty books belonged to me. In between the book there was small figurines. Globes, figurines of people in the war, a small statue of Abraham Lincoln and other things. On the couch there was my old quilt from when I was a child. The curtains were the same burgundy as he couch and the walls that had no shelves were paneled in dark wood matching the shelves. I grabbed one of my books and curled up on the couch.

I really wasnt reading the book. I was sitting and thinking.

After awhile I decided to just put the book away and go to sleep. I went to draw the curtains and saw Edward. I let out a frusterated moan.

Everywhere. He is everywhere. Is it not enough to invade my dreams and thoughts. When I close my eyes he is there. Will I never be alone?

I drew my curtains angrily and walked to my room. I sat down on my bed. Chip came up to lick my face but I pushed him away. He whimpered

" Not now, go to sleep." I demanded. He bowed his head and jumped off my bed and out of the room.

I laid under the covers and the hours passed one by one while I stay awake staring at the ceiling. Good thing it was Tuesday and I didnt have to work.

When the clock striked 3:00am I fell asleep.

______________

I woke up the next morning at eleven. I reluctantly got out of my warm bed and got dressed in a pair of dark wash jean shorts. I slipped on a dark blue shirt. The sleeves were an inch above my elbow and it had a scoop neck. I slipped it all on over my bathing suit. I put a clip on the left side of my hair to keep it out of my face.

I went downstairs and let the dog out. This time he didnt bark, which I was thankful for. I scooped his food and set it in a bowl next to the water. He ran into the house and went straight for the food. Shoving his face in the bowl and all but inhaling it. The sun was shining brightly making it atleast nintey degree's outside. I went outside and took my shorts and shirt off. I laid a towel in the grass and laid down. I dipped my hand into the pool while laying down. I sighed in contentment. My bandaged arm laid across my stomach. It still hurt but I took the medicene he prescribed me, it helped alot.

That only brought my thoughts back to him. I interally sighed.

I dont understand why it was so hard to let go. It's kinda like rubbing honey on a wall and then putting a blow dryer to it. It would stick no matter how hard you would try it couldnt come of completely. That was my situation. He stuck to me like a drug. Like my own personal brand of herion as stupid as it may sound.

When James and I attempted to date I knew that it wouldnt work for two reasons. I felt like I wasnt satisfied and two it was weird.

Like a vampire drinking animal blood it wouldnt fully satisfy them as much as human blood could.

Now im using Vampire analogy.

It's come to this.

I just want to be in his arms and never leave. Super glue would work.

I didnt notice tears were falling down my face until I felt one run over my lip. I wiped them off.

Seem as if everytime I think about him the tears cant stop spilling, after all the years I held them back they find there way out. I opened my eyes. Grey clouds were forming coming together. Weather man said a storm. I didnt stand up I just slipped my jeans on. My hand still drifted and moved back in forth in the water. I felt a few drops of rain pelt on my stomach, then shoulder. I laid down as the rain got harder and soaked me. I may end up sick but it doesnt really matter at the moment. The rain pelted on every inch of my skin. Never leaving a dry spot.

" Bella." I heard Jakes voice yell

" Can I help you?" I yelled back.

" Get out of the rain your crazy women."

" Make me." I challenged.

" Whatev-"

He was interuppted by a crack of thunder.

" Bella. Get in your house."

" When it rains nobody can see your tears." I stated as more fell down my face.

It sounded stupid but it was true.

" Fine Bella." He said.

I heard his sliding glass door slam shut. I sighed and sat up. My hair was dripping wet. I stood up and grabbed my towel and walked towards my house. I went to open the sliding glass door but it was jammed...Again. I grabbed my cell of the table and closed the umbrella

I walked around the house and went to the garage door. As I walked I heard two car doors slam.I looked around. It was Edward he and his girlfriend were running through the rain.

Why do I always look over there? Why? Maybe I need to get my head wiped. Get rid of my memories.

I went by my basketball hoop, ignoring my garage and sat against the metal bar that helped holding it up. I sat in the rain and sobbed.

Sobbed for the hurt, pain and sadness inside of me. My body shook lightly with each sob that wracked my body. I then heard my phone ring.

" Yeah."

" Hey Bells when are you going to go inside?" Jake asked

" Are you trying to drive me up a wall?"

" It's my job."

I hung up the phone and stood up. I walked towards the garage door and opened it.

_______________

After showering and changing my clothes I made some apple cider and went into the library. I opened the curtains and the lightning lit up the room. I grabbed one of my books and curled up on the couch. I read a few pages and then all of a sudden my house went pitch black.

" You've gotta be shitting me." I whispered.

The lightning lit the house as it struck in the sky and a crack filled the air.

In truth I hated storms. I havent really seen a storm this bad since Forks when Alice was over and the power went out and we were curled up in a corner. Now that I think about it it was actually kinda funny. My cell phone then buzzed.

Remember back in Forks

when the rain was this bad

and you and me were in a

corner scared?

- Alice

I laughed. Great minds think alike.

I was thinking of that...

I do remember and

Emmett came back

and was laughing.

I texted back

Yeah he still picks on

me for that

- Alice.

She texted back

It was nice having a friend again

Authors note-READ!!!!!! I need help. I need Ideas before the big thing happens. I will not be able to update if I dont get idea's. I am so caught on the big event that I am on writers block with the present. Just some fun Idea's PM or Review it. I prefer a Review but either way just please help me. I dont care if it sounds stupid just... HELP!