Returning to the base had a different taste. Everything look the same, yes, but that wasn't entirely true; Everything was changed. Meat was no longer with us, and neither was Royce. Even though we didn't have a nice start, and perhaps we didn't even talked that much, no one deserves such death. To lie wounded in an unknown land, bleeding to death and have no one with you holding your hand.
Something changed within me as well, I knew something was different. I felt different. Like when you do something you know has no turning back.
The day had that nostalgic weather. It was drizzling gently and the skies were painted in a bright orange color. I went straight to the infirmary to get my leg stitched, fighting arduously with my eyes to not fall asleep in the process, although the nurse was surely preventing it with her endless talk. It isn't that I didn't appreciate her asking me how it was to be part of a male team or if I was dating someone or if I found someone attractive on the team, you know... the usual girl talk, but I really just wanted her to shut up. Although... that would be the tiredness talking, not me. When she finally finished I headed back to the quarters. The mission kept repeating in my head, all the men I killed, all the eyes I shut for good.
I felt stress building in my shoulders, like a late reaction from all day. Ghost wasn't on the room yet, so I locked myself in the bathroom and turned the shower on. I looked myself in the mirror before taking my clothes off. I looked so...destroyed. I was covered in dirt, my face looked like I haven't slept for days and my pants were damp in blood, my blood. So much for my uniform...it was a total waste. I didn't look...like me. I looked like a complete other person.
I let out a heavy sigh before entering the shower. The water splashed against my skin as some drops slid down my face. My body was there but my mind was not. The face I couldn't forget... The face that still haunted me...belonged to Rojas' assistant. The man I killed so coldly and mercilessly. He was just a boy really, he didn't even seem to be older than me. He maybe even was my age, twenty five years old...
I wondered what had lead him there. What had lead him to that specific and precise moment. How someone so young could be involved in something so big?
A soft chuckle escaped my lips when I realized I was on the same plate. After getting myself recognizable again, I dressed up with the new uniform, disposing of the old and ruined one before opening the door and a small window to let the steam dissipate. I walked back to the mirror and supported my hands on the cold sink, fixing my eyes on the bottom of it. The image of me shooting his head ran over my head multiple times. It was torturing me. Who was I to make that choice? I moved my eyes from the sink to the mirror in front of me and saw Ghost's reflection on it. He was leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest, his face uncovered for the feast of my eyes.
"Is everything alright?" he asked as he examined my face through the mirror. I pressed my lips into a straight line and nodded in response.
"You should get some rest" he added before getting inside the room. "Today was a long day"
I gave one nod to myself before turning off the bathroom's light and heading towards the bed.
I jumped when I heard my phone ringing on top of the night table beside the bed. I rolled over and my hand sought for the phone until my fingers finally touched it.
"Hello?" I asked tiredly, briefly looking towards Ghost who was still sleeping on his side.
"You need to come to the lab, now" Wheathley mumbled.
"What? Why? What time is it?" I asked as I glanced over my watch. It was 8:20 p.m., what was Wheathley doing at the lab?
"hello?" I said when I heard no response from him, then looked over my phone and noticed he had hang up on me.
"What the hell" I mumbled as I tossed the phone away and sat up to put on my boots. I grabbed my jacket and headed towards the door, closing it gently behind me to avoid waking up Ghost. My harsh footsteps echoed in the lone hallway as I headed towards the exit. Now all I needed was a way to get there. Hopefully they'll had a jeep I could borrow.
The lab seemed so desolated at night, it always gave me chills. The lights were automatic so they turned on as I walked through the hall, approaching Wheathley's office. I opened the door but found no one inside. I frowned as I called for him... but nothing. I turned around and jumped out of my skin when I saw him standing in the middle of the hall with a lot of papers in his hands.
"Jesus Christ, Wheathley! don't fucking do that!" I hissed as I placed a hand on my chest, feeling my heart hammering inside it.
"Sorry" he replied with an apologetic tone as he walked passed me, entering his office before telling me to shut the door behind me. He leaned on his desk, looking down at the papers he held on his hands.
"Wheathely...I know that face. Tell me whats going on" I said quietly as I held my stare in his eyes. He removed his glasses before lifting his eyes to me.
"Angelica...how have you been feeling lately? all good?" he asked.
"Well, yes... why?" I frowned at his sudden question.
"Because I ran the results a little bit farther and according to this...the effects are going to wear off. You did take it in for quite a lot longer, but you'll begin to have cognitive and physical deterioration until...well, you know. The ugly part..."
His words felt like cold water been thrown at my face. My body was completely frozen in shock. "What...? I don't..." I barely got out.
He came closer to give me the papers and my eyes scouted the data, eventually finding the results. If the effects were indeed wearing off, that would explain my sudden care for Rojas' assistant. After all, I wasn't supposed to feel pity in any kind.
"so what now?" I asked, trying hardly to maintain my sanity in line. I didn't want to die, no one wants to die, but If I wanted to find a way to survive, desperation and fear were not the answer.
"Well, I did came up with something. It's not definite, I'm still figuring that out, but I did come up with this" he said before showing me a thick military necklace.
"a necklace?" I questioned as I approached him with a raised brow. He shook his head and slid open one side of the necklace, revealing its content. Inside were stored some red small rounded pills.
"What is this?" I asked as I held the necklace on my hand and took out one pill.
"Your new companions" he replied and my eyes instantly met his "You'll have to take one of this every three days. And since I wasn't able to translate all the serum into one pill..." he began as he closed the small compartment and flipped the necklace to slide open the other side. "I had to make one for cognitive and one for physical. purple is cognitive, red is physical. Every three days, until I figure a way to make it viral that is"
"What if I come here to help you?" I asked as I closed the small compartment and grabbed the necklace.
"No. You have other things to do, let me handle this. Just focus on getting the job done over there."
"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly, my eyes waiting for his answer "what? don't you trust me now? I thought we were partners" he replied with a grin on his face, making me let out a quiet chuckle.
"Take care of them" he continued while pointing at the pills with his head. "If you lose them, you'll have to wait until the lab makes them again, so hold on tightly to them alright?" He warned and I responded with a nod before wrapping the necklace around my hand.
"It is kinda disappointing the first necklace you give me is filled with drugs" I said with a teasing smile. He let out a gentle laughter in response as he crossed his hands over his chest. "Go on, leave. I was already getting used to not seeing your face around here" he replied with a grin.
"Prick" I murmured with a small smile before heading towards the door. I turned around one last time to see his face before leaving. He looked tired. It seems he had to double his work in my absence. I could see his struggle to find a way to keep me alive. The way he explained everything made it sound it was as easy as making a boiled egg, but I knew it wasn't. First, he had to see if the pills were even going to work, second he had to do all the chemistry to separate the two enhancements and store them in different pills. He also had to calculate how much was my system going to take before kicking the out chems and I knew it was no easy job. Considering that, I wasted no time into swallowing the first two.
It was late in the night, or well...early in the morning, when I found my way back to the barracks. The base was covered with a thin white mist of morning and the silence could deceive anyone into believing it was abandoned. It was quite enjoyable actually. I gently opened the door believing Ghost was still asleep, but for my surprise he was sitting at the desk, his head supported against his hand and he was reading some documents, but when I got inside he turned his head to me and his blue eyes met me.
"What are you doing up? You seem tired" I asked as I closed the door behind me, trying my best to avoid any questions towards me.
"Shepherd called, he wanted me to learn everything I could about the gulag before the debrief" He replied tiredly as he ran a hand through his face. The dark bags under his eyes highlighted under his pale skin and his eyes looked even bluer because of it.
"What have you learned?" I asked as I leaned on the desk, my face just beside him as I examined the documents between his hands.
"It has a long history. It started out as a castle, built to withstand any siege. It was used in many occasions during war times. Over the last century it's played host to anyone the government didn't want but couldn't kill. The place is filled with living casualties of the last war...which I swear I thought we'd won" he said as he massaged his neck, his finger tips whitening in response to the pressure he was applying to it. "I also saw the infrastructure of the place, it's built almost like a maze."
I examined the blueprint of the place. It did seem to be built like a maze, I guess it was to prevent anyone from escaping the place.
"And when is the debrief?" I asked as I turned to leave the jacket on my bed.
"Tomorrow" he answered before audibly closing the folder and standing up from the chair to throw himself to his bed. I put on the military necklace around my neck and got into bed, resting my head on the pillow while letting out a tired sigh. I moved my head to the left and found Ghost stare at the other side of the room.
"Is everything alright?" he asked, his blue eyes expecting my answer.
I nodded in response before returning my eyes to the ceiling. "I'm just tired..." I let out quietly before closing my eyes. When he turned off the light I felt more relieved. I know I didn't act like it...but I was scared. I was scared that I was going to be dependent on pills forever.