So, I've had a few reviews relating to Quinn's decision to go back to her husband after he cheated on her. FEAR YEE NOT! I have a plan – this is a Faberry Fic after all! One review stated that it wasn't right for Quinn to 'fix her marriage' by bringing in an 'innocent life' and that having Quinn have a baby with a cheating husband wouldn't be right 'just for the sake of drama': I completely agree and I've seen it on television shows where couples try to do just that, and I think we all know that it is never a good thing to stay together for the sake of a child, no matter how hard it may seem to the child. So, if you will all please hold on and continue reading, I assure you that I have a plan I hope you will be satisfied with. There are fifteen chapters and there is drama, and passion, sadness...just hold on!
Just felt I had to clear some things up. :)
Chapter Six – The Peasant's Secret Revealed
Quinn couldn't just leave Lima without saying a proper goodbye to Rachel. She thought she could just leave with the satisfaction of the friendly hug in the park, but that wasn't enough. She didn't want to go back to Chicago, but she had to try and make her marriage work. Even if she could just have the chance to be a real mother. A mom. She wanted a family; always wanted a family. After Beth that was all she ever wanted.
The first night she moved back in with her mom, that's what she was told: make a go of her marriage;
"That's what I did." Judy told her as she stabbed her food with her fork. Quinn flickered eyes up to her mothers. "Why did you give dad another chance, mom? I mean, he cheated on you too. He was unfaithful, something he vowed he'd never be when he married you. And if he's so religious then why did he break one on the ten commandments? 'Thou shalt not commit adultery'. Forgetting the religious side I mean why take him back? He hurt you and he broke your trust-"
"Because that's what grown ups do." Judy told her sternly, shooting her daggers.
"Don't talk to me like that." She snarled, scowling as her mother. As Quinn stared at her mother, she put another piece of food in her mouth, unsure what to say. Judy watched her too and then after a little while of making sure Quinn wasn't going to protest any more, she too put another mouthful of food in her mouth. "All I'm saying is," Quinn piped up again, now talking about her own failure of a marriage, "why does he deserve another chance? He hurt me by going again
"Quinn, just give him a chance. We can all make mistakes, that's what makes us human. You yourself made a mistake once and you were forgiven." That reference hit a nerve and Quinn slammed her fork down. "What happened to me was different and you know it!" She growled. Her mother simply shrugged. "You were still forgiven. Just give it a try Quinn, I honestly believe he made a stupid mistake and he won't do it again."
"You just don't want me to be an embarrassment to you again." Quinn muttered, no longer looking at her mother. "That's not true Quinn. I just believe you should give him another chance." She looked at Quinn, but her daughter refused to meet her eye willingly, so she reached over the table and took her hand, causing the younger blonde to look up at her. "Marriages are hard, Quinn, but what makes them last is if you forgive and forget."
"I thought what made them last was love?" Quinn retorted. Her mother scoffed and shook her head. "Only in fairy tales sweetheart. Love is just a small percentage of a marriage. You two are good together. Give him another chance. Give him a shot." Her mother pleaded with her, gripping onto her hand with desperation. "I'll think about it." Quinn told her quietly, before removing her hand from her mother's grasp and they continued their dinner.
"Perhaps I should just give it a shot", she told herself as she lay in bed not being able to sleep. She turned her head – having a sudden flashback to when she had turned her head and saw Rachel's beautiful face staring up at the equally beautiful stars – and saw her husband's sleeping form next to her.
They had sex that night. After his suffocating squeeze, he picked her up off the counter and made her wrap her legs around his waist and carried her up the stairs. She was dead set against it. He had slept with his secretary for goodness sake, and as he pushed her down on to the bed, soaking her face with sloppy kisses and taking off her shirt and unbuttoning her jeans, pulling the zip down, she thought back to what Miss Holiday had told them all in Glee Club:
"Remember, when you have sex with someone you're having sex with every person they've slept with. And everyone's got a random!"
The thought made her shudder and groan out loud, which only turned her husband on even more.
The whole time she lay there, letting him 'do his thing' as he put it, all she could think about was when she and Rachel would have sex. No. They wouldn't have sex, they would make love. The only way she could get through the process of just lying there – which thankfully really didn't last that long – she thought of when her and Rachel made love for the first time.
"Quinn, I'm scared." Rachel had admitted with a little gasp at the sudden prospect of what was going to happen, feeling like a little wuss, whispering and shaking a little as two tears slid down her cheeks as she pulled away from Quinn's loving kisses.
Quinn immediately removed her hand from caressing Rachel's upper thigh and backed off a little by creating a little distance between their torsos and taking Rachel's hands in her own. "Don't be scared." She told her, giving her a small reassuring smile. "I'm scared too." Rachel sniffled and looked down at their entwined hands before looking back up again into Quinn's eyes. "W..why are you scared?" Quinn smiled again, releasing a nervous breath.
"Because I want to make this special for you. Forget the candles and the roses and classical music. That's just background stuff. What really matters is how you feel and being comfortable. This is your first time, Rachel and want to make you feel loved-"
"I do feel loved!" Her voice was high and worried if she had somehow offended Quinn and she gripped her hands to show her she did feel loved. She brought Quinn's hands to her mouth and she kissed them, scrunching her eyes up to show her how passionately she felt about Quinn. The blonde, however just smiled more and chuckled a little, bringing her hands away from Rachel's mouth.
Leaning in and kissing away her fallen tears. "I know you do, but what I mean is...you only get one chance for your first time Rach. Sex isn't just something we do, it's a connection – an emotional bond. I don't want you to just feel good and pleasured and glad that you've done it, I want you to feel loved! I don't want to have sex with you Rachel, I want to make love to you. I want to prove to you and show you just how much I love you." More tears had spilled over Rachel's eyelids and made their way down her cheeks. "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard." She whispered, smiling her own little smile. Quinn let go of one of Rachel's hands and brought it to the back of Rachel's neck, where she rubbed a particular sensitive spot, staring into Rachel's eyes even more. "Do you want to know the most beautiful thing I've ever heard?" She asked, and Rachel nodded her head, melting into Quinn's gentle touch. "Your voice. Not just your singing voice, but your laugh and your cries and whispers and every other sound you make." Rachel sniffled once more. She leaned into Quinn and kissed her lips, wrapping her arms around Quinn's neck.
Before it got too passionate, Quinn pulled away to look into Rachel's large pupils. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"After hearing your words, and knowing fully that you'll protect me and make this special for me, I know that I want to do this. I want you to make love to me, Quinn, and I want to make love to you. With all my heart." She whispered the last bit to stop herself from crying again. Quinn smiled and sniffled back her own tears. "As long as you're sure." Instead of answering her with words, Rachel picked up Quinn's hand and placed it lightly on her breast. Their eyes caught each other at the simple, yet powerful touch, and Rachel nodded her head, allowing Quinn to lay her down back on the rose petalled covered bed, as she kissed her and gently rubbed her breast, creating sweet moans to come from Rachel's slender throat.
They made love twice that night and the love continued to grow with each kiss, smile and look they gave each other.
Two days before she was set to head back to Chicago – her husband had to leave a day early due to work commitments – Quinn tried as hard as she could to resist the urge to see Rachel. However, on the day before she was set to fly back, she just couldn't resist the urge any longer.
She picked herself up, walked out of her mother's house, jumped in her car and drove to Rachel.
It wasn't late, but she still didn't want to give her a call. She wanted it to be a surprise. She wanted it to be a Hollywood movie moment; full of suspense and magic.
She pulled up to Rachel's fathers' house and took a moment to compose herself before knocking on the door.
Rachel came to the door, smiling and laughing at something someone had said inside. As soon as she saw Quinn she gasped.
"Quinn, what are you-"
"Rachel. Hi." Quinn boldly greeted, wanting nothing more but to take the girl into a tight embrace and cry into the crook of her neck. Be held in her loving arms and just drone on for the rest of the night into the early hours of the dawn into how confused and messed up she was feeling. And then, wanting nothing more but to have Rachel sing her to sleep, like she was a child. Or, like she was hers...the way they used to be. But, knowing that possibly none of that was possible right now, Quinn settled for saying; "I just..I really wanted to see you before I left."
"Oh. Okay." Rachel was fixed to her spot, looking a little..scared?
"I just really wanted to talk to you Rach." She confessed, wanting to sigh but remaining strong, until she was inside the house at least. "Okay." Rachel repeated, but having heard a clatter of some sort, Rachel turned her head away from Quinn's pleading gaze. "Is..is this a bad time?" Quinn asked, trying to see what the brunette – the breathtakingly beautiful brunette – was looking at. She heard soft pads running towards her, and Quinn thought for a second that Rachel had a dog.
Did she have a dog? Did she ever have a dog? Maybe her dads bought a dog for when she left?
Quinn braced herself for being jumped up at and barked at by whatever beast was running towards them, her muscles clenching together and her posture straightening up even more. "Er..no. Not-" Suddenly the pads grew louder and stopped, surprising Quinn to the point of where she tensed even more! Feeling like she was made of iron. Quinn fixed her eyes on the padding creature. Well, not creature. The pads weren't being made from a dog's paw-pads, but of a person. A little girl a wearing a pale pink all in one footsie pyjamas: a tiny clone of Rachel was by her side, clinging to Rachel's dress, her penguin under her arm. Quinn's eyes went a little wide as she stared at the girl. "Rach?" She whispered as their eyes connected once more. She was beautiful. Just as beautiful as Rachel; breathtaking and gorgeous. The cutest little Berry she had ever seen. Including Rachel herself. Rachel stared up at Quinn for a moment, not sure what to do. The little girl had her head resting on Rachel's leg, as a way of comfort from the stranger standing at their door. "Quinn, I guess this is the best time to tell you." She took a quick breath before her 'big' announcement. "Quinn there's someone I want you to meet." She wrapped her arm around the young girl's shoulder and held her close to her legs. "This is my daughter, Heidi. Heidi, this is Quinn."
After a little pause, of Quinn taking in the sight before her; how could she not have mentioned she had a daughter? How could I not have asked? Am I really that selfish? Am I really too caught up in my own sad little life? To think I thought this beautiful little girl was a dog! Oh my God, Rachel's a mom! She gasped to herself.
Quinn then shook herself out of her inner monologue and blinked a couple of times before beaming a smile at the little brunette. "Hi, Heidi." She said, chuckling a little at the repetition of sounds. Something the poor kid would have to get used to as she grew up. If she ever grew up, looking at how tiny she was. "Mommy, is she the Princess?" Heidi whispered, making Rachel blush and Quinn giggle a little. She'd been called a lot of names in her life, and 'princess' wasn't one of them! Not even by her dad. Well, maybe once one her birthday, but she'd almost forgotten her childhood. Remembering only part of her horrid middle school years and high school life; it all seemed like a lifetime away and yet is was only...what? Ten years ago! Wow, how time flies, she thought. Watching Rachel blush, Quinn asked, "What Princess?" Rachel bit her lip, not wanting to reveal her secret. Quinn knew then that Rachel must have talked to her daughter – Heidi – about her. And she called her a princess.
Was I really a princess in Rachel's eyes? Was I still a princess after all this time? After everything that happened? Maybe she does still have feelings for me? She thought, slightly ashamed of herself. To Rachel, and now Heidi, I'm a princess, she squealed internally.
"It doesn't matter." Rachel told Quinn, flashing her eyes to hers before looking back down on her daughter, the blush subsiding. "Heidi, what do we say when people introduce themselves?"
"Hello." Heidi whispered, gripping harder onto Rachel's dress. The little girl was clearly a little star struck, and then it was Quinn's turn the blush; perhaps she shouldn't have worn such a revealing, seductive dress. She couldn't be more than three years old? Or, maybe a little older, perhaps she just inherited Rachel's – her mother's – unfortunate, yet incredibly adorable, lack of hight.
Rachel smiled at Heidi again, this time a slightly more authoritative smile and letting her hold become a little less strained. "Heidi, Quinn is a very special friend of mommy's."
"That's right," Quinn interrupted, and Rachel instantly looked back up at Quinn as soon as she heard her open her mouth. "Your mom and I used to be," Quinn looked up at Rachel deciding how best to describe their relationship – and not just the romantic one. It also sounded weird calling Rachel a mom.
Mom? Rachel?
Hearing the girl - "Heidi, not 'the girl!" - call her mommy was weird enough, but hearing Quinn say it...it was just...strange. "Friends, in high school. Good friends." She winked at Rachel, causing the older brunette to blush once more. "Best friends?" The little girl asked, still clinging onto Rachel's leg. "Yeah." Quinn told her, quietly and capturing herself in a quick, long ago but never forgotten memory of the two of them. "The best of best friends." Quinn smiled at Rachel, this time not wanting to cause her any discomfort in the company of her daughter, trying to convey all of her feelings for her in that one stare. But, Rachel broke it and looked away. "Anyway, Heidi's a little shy when she first meets people, she should probably get to bed."
"Mommy!" The girl protested, although she buried her tired face into Rachel's leg.
"That's okay, you do look a little tired." Quinn wasn't sure who she was meaning to direct her statement, looking into Rachel's eyes once more she could see the emotion swimming around her chocolate orbs. "I'm really glad I met you Heidi." Quinn told the girl, reaching out her hand to stroke the soft pigtails she was wearing. The little brunette simply nodded her head and turned up to face her mother. "Mommy, can I go ask grandpappy to read me a story?"
"Sure, but just one okay? Then bed." Rachel smiled, giving Heidi's shoulder a little squeeze.
"Okay." The little girl grinned – just like Rachel did – and began to run down the hall, her little rubber pads on her footsie pyjamas rubbing softly against the wooden floor. She then stopped and turned around. "Bye bye Quinn. Good to meet you." She shyly waved before dashing off again.
Quinn and Rachel both watched her climb the stairs on all fours, still clutching the over sized penguin in her fist, adoringly. They both smiled a similar smile: Rachel's expressing the overwhelming love she felt for her daughter, Quinn's the overwhelming love she should have had for Beth. Snapping herself out of her daze, once more, Quinn spoke to Rachel, not before taking a longing gaze at her sweet face as she watched Heidi clamber up the stairs. Sometimes, she couldn't believe that she had a daughter, a perfect daughter.
"Why didn't you tell me you had a daughter? Quinn asked, snapping Rachel out of her own daze. "Whatever happened to 'no more secrets' and no more fear of 'anything holding us back?'"
"I didn't want to upset you." She told her quietly, bowing her head slightly, shame blushing her cheeks. Shame for keeping Heidi a secret and shame for...well..just shame. "That's stupid Rachel." Quinn told her playfully. "She's beautiful."
"So are you." Rachel said quietly, now her turn to blush. She looked past Quinn and saw the darkness surrounding the street. "Do you want to come in?" She asked, biting her lip in that adorable way Quinn felt weak at the knees at. "Sure. I'd love to."
Rachel moved out of the way and allowed her come through. As soon as she was inside, the door closing she heard a voice. A familiar voice. "Rachel who was at the door?" It was Leroy Berry; Rachel's tall, muscular, scary father. Scary to Quinn anyway. He was the kind of man that you would see at in a bar and wouldn't want to look him in the eye, but he was a sweet guy once you got to know him. That's what Rachel kept on saying when she was trying to persuade Quinn to come round.
"My fathers aren't scary Quinn I assure you."
"Yeah not to you, you're their little princess! They adore you! Hell, they love you and wanted you so bad they were willing to pay Shelby to have you!"
"I understand all that, but honestly they are not going to bite your head off."
"You don't know that Rachel. You've told them about me, right?"
"Of course; how beautiful you are, how much you mean to me, how kind you are-"
"No Rachel, I mean about all the stuff I did to you. Before we got together."
"Well...Okay I must admit that I did used to come home crying that a certain blonde Cheerio made me cry in school and had the whole school single me out in some sort of slushie hate campaign-"
"See! They hate me! They'll kill me!"
"But I also told them about that same Cheerio who got pregnant and became a terrified, scared little girl, who reluctantly showed off her vulnerable side and managed to become a fantastic life long friend. The girl who did the impossible and gave her own daughter away to a woman who also gave me away. They don't hate you Quinn. If anything, they respect you."
"Respect me? How? I made your life a living hell?"
"But you turned your life around. Okay, you were a little bit of a bitch, but that was only because you were afraid of confronting your true feelings for me."
"I guess."
"Well while you might guess, I know. So please, don't worry about they may or may not think, because you have my word; they will and do love you just the same as I do."
"The same as you do?"
"Okay maybe not exactly the same as I do, but close enough."
"Thank you Rachel."
"For what?"
"For saying all those nice things about me."
"What can I say, I care for you and I want you to be a part of my life. My parents are a part of my life, and you guys have to get along so, of course I'd make you sound good."
"You're beyond brilliant, you know that right?"
"I've been told."
"Come here."
Just as Quinn tipped Rachel's chin up and lowered her lips to Rachel's, the front door opened and revealed Leroy Berry.
"Well, well, so this is what happens when you allow your only daughter to stay out ten minutes after curfew?" He spoke, crossing his arms across his broad, strong chest.
"Holy shit!" Quinn gaped, slapping her hand straight to her chest at the shock of the intrusion. Her eyes widened at the unamused look her gave her; his eyebrow raised and he gave her a little yet powerful scowl. "Really Quinn; I thought a religious, well brought up girl like you wouldn't say the Lord's name in vein and in such a way as to string it together with such a profanity."
Quinn swallowed hard and distanced herself from Rachel. She'd never been this scared to meet someone's father. Why should she, it was always the guy that had to be scared of the girlfriend's father. Did this mean that Quinn was the guy in the relationship? Well, meeting her own father would be kind of terrifying for Rachel too. "I guess it's a father thing." Quinn thought.
"I'm so sorry. Sir." She belted the 'Sir' out and she could literally feel her heart and lungs shrivel with the amount of oxygen they were needing, but was being neglected off as Quinn had stopped breathing.
Rachel rolled her eyes at her father. "Dad do you have to scare all my friends with your presence and your words?" She growled, raising herself on her tiptoes to give her father a quick peck on the cheek. "No, not your friends Rachel. Just your...more romantically acquainted friends." He scowled at Quinn again and she tried to swallow the nervous lump that had formed in her throat. "Did you have a good evening?" He asked Quinn. She nodded and cleared her throat, trying to straighten herself up to look a little more..what? Tough? Not scared? "Yes Sir, we had a wonderful time."
"I hope you didn't try anything funny with my little girl?" He asked her sternly, glaring even more. Quinn sucked in a deep breath and widened her eyes once more, moving herself even further away from Rachel. "No Sir! Never, I would never try anything with her. I promise. Sir."
"What about that kiss I almost witnessed?" Quinn blushed and could literally feel her dinner – and her organs along with it – rising up her body and through her throat. "Well...I...um...Sir-"
"Dad, enough of the scaring. We had a wonderful dinner, pleasant conversation and our hands remained on the table at all times, now may we please come inside? It is getting late and due to that fact the temperature has dropped and we are a little cold. Quinn is actually trembling." Quinn hadn't even noticed, but she was shaking. Although probably not from the cold.
Leroy looked at the blonde again and could see the fear in her eyes. "Excellent." He thought, not in a malicious kind of way, just in an overprotective father way. "Well I suppose you must come in Quinn, can't have my little baby girl or her girlfriend catching a cold can I?"
"N..No Sir." Quinn replied.
Satisfied with the fear and the worry built up in the blonde, he smiled at Rachel – a slight wink followed – and he allowed them to walk in through the door. Quinn allowed Rachel to go in first, wanting to appear the perfect 'gentleman' in front of Rachel's fathers. As she walked after Rachel she felt Rachel's hand grip hers and she could finally breath again.
"See! You dad hates me!" She hissed. Rachel rolled her eyes and kissed her terrified girlfriend. She placed her hand on Quinn's cool cheek, and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear with her thumb. "He was kidding Quinn. It's an intimidation tactic that fathers use on their daughters' dates. Honestly, I bet your father did the same to your dates?" Quinn thought for a moment, before relaxing into Rachel's touch. "I guess you're right. Just tell me your daddy is a lot nicer?"
"Oh yeah, he's the over friendly one. You've had your tetanus shot right?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Because although my dad might not, my daddy definitely bites. Well, his embraces and kisses are worse than bites. Prepare yourself." She smirked and winked, in almost the same way her dad did and she lead Quinn by the hand through the hall into the family room.
Leroy hadn't changed at all. Well, his hair was a little more grey and he had a few more lines on his forehead, but a part from that he was still the same stocky, muscular, terrifying Mr Berry Quinn remembered. And she felt herself lose her breath as soon as he set his eyes on Quinn.
"Dad, you remember-"
"Quinn. Quinn Fabray." It wasn't a question; it was a statement.
"Crap, he hates me." Quinn cursed inside her mind. "No it's worse than that, he loathes me! I'm going to die! I bet he has a shot gun. Oh God!"
"G..good evening S..Sir." Quinn greeted, stepping away from Rachel and sticking her hand out in front of her, waiting for him to shake it. His eyes were cold and his stare was as hard as a rock. Quinn visibly gulped and she could feel herself shaking. Again.
Leroy looked over at Rachel, who silently urged him to take her hand. She widened her eyes and nodded her head. He turned back to Quinn, who now held her lip in between her teeth. He took her hand and grasped it, not hard so it hurt, but hard enough to tell her how he felt: she was not welcome in his house.
"Hello Quinn." He said, in a tone even colder than his stare.
"Hello Sir." She gulped again and tried to look away from his eyes, but they bore into her, like he was trying to turn her into stone. Like Medusa. Leroy then let go of her hand and turned his attention to his daughter. "Rachel, have you said goodnight to Heidi?" His voice was immediately cheery and back to his usual self. "Yes dad, daddy's reading her a story. Why don't you go join them?" Although she asked, it was more of a command, signalling that she wanted to be alone with Quinn. "Of course," he smiled at her, "goodnight my little baby girl." He glared at Quinn one last time, using her old nickname to intimate Quinn, as he walked past them and headed up the stairs.
As soon as he was gone, Quinn let out a shaky breath and lowered her head into her hands. Rachel shuffled up behind her, just as she was about to put her hand on her shoulder Quinn sniffled; "I should go, I'm clearly not welcome."
"Nonsense," Rachel argued, placing her hand on Quinn's shoulder and gently walked around to face her. "You are my guest, and my friend, and if my dad has a problem with you being here well that's just it: his problem." Quinn sniffled once more, wanting to protest, but all she could do was nod as she was lead into the dim lit family room.
Once Quinn had come over the initial shock of meeting Mr Berry again, having been taken into the family room, she sat on the couch and waited for Rachel. She had gone to the kitchen to get themselves some water. The began to talk, not about the face Quinn was leaving, but just as if she wasn't. As Rachel sipped on her drink, she then turned to Quinn, ready to speak.
"I never thanked you before."
"For what?"
"For saying that Heidi's beautiful."
"Oh, don't worry about it. Still, you must get it a lot."
"I do actually."
"Well, no one can't not say that she's beautiful. I mean, she's your daughter!"
"What do you mean?"
"Come on Rach, don't make me say it again."
"Maybe I want to hear you say it again." Rachel teased. Quinn sighed and rolled her eyes, sitting up and putting her glass of water on the coffee table before turning to face Rachel, cupping her hands onto Rachel's lap. "You. Are. Beautiful." She said, slowly and truthfully, seeing her tanned cheeks tint slightly with the blush. "Who was it that sang that song that went, 'You are so beautiful to me'?" Rachel thought for a little bit, which surprised Quinn a little considering she had referred to Rachel's brain as the 'iTunes' of human brains. Her eyes lit up as she knew the answer. "Joe Cocker?" She said, with a slight intonation to show she actually wasn't quite sure. Quinn smiled and just shrugged. "If you say so. Well, my point is that you are, so, so beautiful to me." Her voice had quietened and they gave each other that look again. "Do you want to put the song on?" Rachel asked, loosing herself a little in the intense moment. "Sure." Quinn just about managed to get out, before blinking and waking herself up. Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but then bit her lip as she got up and moved over to her fathers' record collection.
As she got up, Quinn twisted herself round to look at her. From this angle, she didn't look like a mom. Still, she didn't look like a mom at any angle. What did a mom even look like? Technically she herself was a mom. Well, she was a mother but she wasn't a mom. The words that Shelby had said to Rachel echoed in her ears from when Rachel had sobbed in her arms, telling her.
"I'm your mother, Rachel, but I'm not your mom."
It hurt her. Quinn as well as Rachel. The notion and the meaning it hurt like a slap across the face. But it was true. Rachel had stuck around for her daughter, yet Quinn had given hers up.
"I'm not a mom," she thought as she looked a Rachel fiddling with the records, "I'm a mother".
Her mood had dipped and she could feel herself wanting to cry, however she heard the first chords of the song playing and she looked up as she saw Rachel standing looking a little flushed. Her chest rising and falling in a smooth, steady rhythm.
Rachel looked at her and their eyes connected once more. Quinn stood up, being silently commanded to do so. The song played and she walked over to Rachel, who had sort of met her in the middle of them room. She stood close to her, looking down on her due to her height. Rachel opened her mouth to speak again, but instead of releasing words, she allowed a sigh to escape as Quinn took her hand and placed it on her shoulder, repeating the action with Rachel's other hand. They were pressed gently against each other, and Quinn took hold of Rachel's hips.
Still, neither said anything, as they swayed to the music.
You are so beautiful. To me. You are so beautiful. To me. Can't you see. You're everything I hoped for. You're everything I need. You are so beautiful. To me
Rachel rested her head slowly against Quinn's shoulder and nuzzled her slightly.
"What are you doing?" She yelled at herself, "She's your friend Rachel! Friend! Nothing more. There can never be anything more. Not after everything that happened, you know that. You'll just end up hurting yourself. Again. Not now that she's not getting a divorce! Sure you still love her but think of the pain she caused you! Wait...you love her? Rachel, you love her. You have to stop! Think of what she did! Think of-" She scrunched her eyes tightly closed and pressed herself harder onto Quinn's body.
You are so wonderful. To me. You are so wonderful. To me. Can't you see. You're everything I hoped for. You're everything I need. You are so wonderful. To me
Quinn wrapped her arms more securely around Rachel's wast, pressing them even closer together.
"Just relax Quinn," Quinn told herself as she felt the small of Rachel's back. "Just relax. She's your friend and you're married. You're not getting a divorce, you're giving your cheating husband another chance! Sure she smells so good and her skin is so soft and her...Quinn, stop! This is wrong! She's grieving still! You know that! And you're married! You're comforting her, that's all. The song is beautiful and she's beautiful but...Oh God who are you kidding? She is beautiful. She's even more beautiful than the last time you guys saw each other. Not the other day but ten years ago! Just admit it, you love her. You love her. You worship her and you want her! No! No you have to make a go of your marriage! It wouldn't be fair to him. Fair? To him? He's the one that cheated on you! But he was right, you do spend too much time thinking of her. Hell, you spent last night picturing it was Rachel doing all those things to you instead of your husband. You need to give him another chance. What you had with Rachel was in the past. It would be too painful to go back to that. You have to look forward. You can have a family, Quinn. A real family. A husband and a dog and a couple of kids running around. But what about Rachel? She's a family too. I could be part of her family. Let's face it, her husband is dead and she could use another pair of hands. Yeah, but she has her fathers! But just think, you could help her raise Heidi, you could..No Quinn! Yes Quinn! No-"
Quinn squeezed Rachel harder as she tried to shut the argument up in her head.
You are so beautiful. To me. You are so beautiful. To me. Can't you see. You're everything I hoped for. You're everything I need. You are so beautiful. To me
"You're so beautiful to me Rach." Quinn whispered against Rachel's head as she held her closer to her. "You're beautiful to me too Quinn." Rachel whispered back.
"I'd better go, it's getting late." Quinn whispered in a husky, sort of lust filled voice pulling herself away from Rachel. "You can stay if you want." Rachel told her, in the same sort of voice.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I mean, we don't have a spare room any more but-"
"I'll sleep on the couch."
"Or, you can...sleep in my room..w..with me?" Quinn couldn't help the little smile that tugged on the corners of her mouth. "I'd like that."
"Okay?" Rachel furrowed her eyebrows, not quite sure of what Quinn was meaning.
"I mean...I'd like that..a lot more than sleeping on the couch."
"It's okay Quinn," Rachel placed her hand on the girl's shoulder, "Don't worry about it."
She gave Quinn a quick nervous smile as she then took Quinn's hand and lead her to her room.
"You can er...you can borrow some of my pyjamas if you want?" Rachel said as she walked over to her pyjama draw. "Okay, sure that would be good. Thank you." Quinn answered as she looked around Rachel's room.
It too, hadn't changed a bit. It was as if Rachel had never left to go to New York ten years ago. All of her old posters were up, her teddies, even the same bedding!
"Is there anything here that's new?" She asked, smirking a little. Rachel walked back over to her, carrying a red tank top and yellow sleep shorts. "Well the clothing's changed a little." She shrugged. "Especially my sleepwear. I don't just wear my flannel pyjamas like I used to. I wear tanks under them and sometimes I don't button them all the way to the top."
"Ooh scandalous!" Quinn teased. "Do you cover yourself up because of Heidi?"
"I guess so. When Louis was..when I had Louis, I would wear tanks and shorts. Sometimes nothing at all," she giggled blushing as she sat on the bed. "But I think since having Heidi, I have decided to cover up a little more. It just doesn't feel right waking my four year old daughter wearing next to nothing, you know?"
"Yeah. I guess you're right." Quinn agreed.
They then proceeded to get changed. Quinn wanted nothing more than to look at Rachel's bare body. Imagining what it must be like to run her hands over the smooth skin once more.
"Hey you still have my necklace!" She was dragged out of her thoughts as she heard Rachel squeal.
"What? Oh, yeah I wear it all the time." Quinn said, as she fiddled with the pendant.
"Looks good on you."
"How can a piece of jewellery look good on a person and bad on another?"
"Just take the compliment Fabray!" Rachel laughed, throwing a pillow at her.
"Ow! Fine I will! Thank you Rachel, I'm sure all of your jewellery looks good on you too!"
"Shut up!" They laughed a little more and Rachel stripped her top off. Quinn was still laughing and was about to say something when she caught sight of Rachel's body. Unfortunately the sight she saw wasn't the one she was expecting. "Rach!" She gasped, wishing she hadn't. Rachel looked back at her wondering what the matter was and then noticed her fearful eyes once more. She dropped her eyes to the floor and began covering her body again. "Your scar?" Quinn whispered, as if she didn't want to believe it existed. "Don't worry about it." At that moment, Quinn did worry about it and wanted nothing more but to kiss it and run her tongue over it, as if licking it would make it go away.
There was a moment of uneasy silence. The two of them got back to changing with their backs facing each other.
"You're a miracle." Quinn mumbled as she climbed into the bed next to Rachel.
"What do you mean?" She asked, turning to face her.
"Well, you got stabbed whilst you were pregnant, and yet you managed to go to full term and deliver a healthy baby girl without any damages to either of your health!" Rachel simply shrugged and pulled the blankets up to her chin. "I guess you'd say we're both miracles. Maybe someone cares for us, huh?" She rolled her eyes over to Quinn, who was still sat up and looking down on her. "I think a lot of people care about you Rachel. Not just God or your fathers."
"I know." Rachel smiled. "I just wish he could have felt the same about Louis, you know?" Her smile faded and she closed her eyes, trying to suppress the tears that were forming. Quinn bit her lip and then picked Rachel's upper body up and rested her against her torso, pulling her close for a comforting embrace. "I understand." She whispered, as she ran her fingers through her chocolate locks. With her other arm, she draped it over Rachel's stomach and the brunette began to stroke the length of it. The sensations the other girl was creating on the other, made them relax and melt into each other's gentle embrace.
"Can I ask you a question?" Rachel asked, her voice quite and tired.
"Of course."
"When you first saw Heidi tonight, did you think of Beth?"
"When am I not thinking of Beth?" Quinn asked herself. "Even when I push her as far back in my mind as I possibly can..."
"I'm always thinking of her Rachel." Quinn told her softly. She felt Rachel take a deep breath, clearly thinking about her next question. "Do you want to talk about her?" Quinn took her own deep breath and closed her eyes; picturing her little baby girl. "Not really." She whispered softly, continuing to play with Rachel's hair. "Are you sure? It might good to-"
"Can we change the subject Rachel, please?" She asked, feeling her voice croak.
"So you leave tomorrow?" Rachel said, sounding as well as feeling deflated.
"Yep."
"I'll miss you."
"It's not like I'm being shipped off to Iraq!"
"I know but..I'm still going to miss you. I know I've not said it but, I've really enjoyed seeing you these past few weeks. It's...it's made me remember what we used to be like. Before everything." She took a little pause, unsure of what to say next, leaving the air a little awkward but she took a deep breath and continued anyway. "And I guess I'm going to miss you, even though Chicago's only two states over and-"
"I'll miss you too Rachel." Quinn said, wanting her to stop talking as the tears prickling her eyes were threatening to fall.
The two of them fell asleep soon after their talk. Where Rachel's dreams were the same familiar dreams she had seen for the past ten years, Quinn's was something completely different to what she normally dreamt;
It was white. Wherever she was, it was white. Kind of like how she pictured heaven, there was even a little glow. As well as the bright, yet comforting light, there was smoke. Wait, no not smoke, kind of like clouds. Maybe fog. Some sort of fog or mist. Then she heard the song. The song she had danced to with Rachel and then there was more light; this time it was a paler yellow glow, like the sun's rays.
And there, walking towards her, was her own little ray of sunshine: Rachel, wearing the most beautiful, flowing, pure white gown she had ever seen, carrying a bouquet of lilies and pink roses. Her hair was flowing in light waves around her shoulders and her eyes were smoky and sensual. Her lips parted as she glided over to her; as graceful as a swan and as enchanting as magic. She stood in front of her and whispered something.
"What?" Quinn spoke, trying desperately to hear her. Rachel smiled at her and spoke once again.
"I love you." She whispered smiling even brighter as she brought her lips to Quinn's. Before they brushed together however, Quinn felt her slip away and she found herself waking up.
Sure, she had dreamt of Rachel but never had she dreamt of actually marrying her!
Beside her, the brunette moved and stretched her arms above her head before opening her eyes and smiling up at Quinn.
"Good morning, Rachel." Quinn smiled, stroking a lock of hair from Rachel's sleep filled eyes.
"Good morning Quinn." Rachel smiled back, holding Quinn's hand on her cheek for a quick second.
"Listen, last night I..."
"You what?" Rachel asked, scrunching her eyes slightly. "What is it?"
"I..I had this...dream and, I just wanted to-"
"Mommy!" Suddenly Heidi burst into the room and clambered on the bed, causing Rachel to sit up and tickle her little Pixie-Star. The young girl's laughter filled the room and Quinn couldn't help herself but join in the tickling. Soon all three of the girls were laughing and completely out of breath.
"Mommy, did the Princess sleep in your bed when she slept over?" Heidi asked, sitting cross legged on the middle of the bed. Rachel and Quinn looked at each other, before Quinn replied. "I did, your mom was very kind and let me share her bed with her."
"So you wouldn't be alone?" Heidi asked, gazing up at Quinn. Quinn looked over at Rachel, who bit her lip and raised her eyebrows at her. "Yes." Quinn smiled back at Heidi. "So I wouldn't be alone."
"That's good. Mommy gets alone too, so I said she could sleep with one of my toys. But not Penguin because she's my favourite and sleeps in my bed."
"Where is Penguin, Pixie-Star?"
"Still sleeping in my bed Mommy. She's still sleepy." Heidi told her, yawning a little herself.
"Oh well, if she's still sleepy then I guess that means she can't have any pancakes."
"Pancakes?" Heidi's eyes lit up at the mention of her favourite treat food. Rachel looked slyly over at Quinn. "That's right. I was going to make pancakes today, but if Penguin is still sleepy then I guess we could just eat plain old boring cereal-"
"No! Pancakes! Please Mommy! Please?" She stuck her lower lip out, begging her mother. Rachel looked over at Quinn again, who was trying not to giggle. Rachel let out a dramatic sigh. "Well...okay then."
"Yey! I'll go wake Penguin up!"
"Go and make your bed and then go downstairs, ask grandpa to put the television on for you."
"Really?" Heidi squealed.
"Yes, as a treat for being such a good girl."
"Thank you Mommy!" She jumped on the bed and kissed her mother, a sloppy little kiss on the cheek, before climbing back down and running out of the room.
"She's just like you!" Quinn giggled. "I mean, besides the obvious looks, she even talks like you! She's so polite and I bet she talk in paragraphs too."
"Well not quite, she is actually rather shy, but yes I did teach her manners from a very young age. I talked to her whilst she was still inside me, teaching her 'please' and 'thank you' and 'nice to meet you', stuff like that."
"She's going to grow up just like you."
"I hope not just like me."
"I hope she does."
"Come on, let's get some breakfast. I can't have you leaving on an empty stomach, before you go back to Chicago."
"Yeah, just leave with an empty heart." Quinn thought, as she followed Rachel getting out of bed.