The Doctor's Daughter

Chapter 6: The Night and the Dawn

It was as if Mary had been holding herself together to see those photographs. Afterwards, she began to slip away.

No, she did not slip. Slip does not do justice to it. The ethereal look captured on the photographs was soon superseded by a twisted look. Her face had changed shape, she hardly looked like my Mary. Her breathing became harsh and rattling, and I had to wipe away secretions from around her mouth. Every so often, she would violently shudder, and pluck at the bedclothes. She cried out weakly. Her complexion became grey and clammy, and sagging. The lovely, vibrant young woman was no more, trapped in the wretched body that had betrayed her so utterly. Death was beginning to stalk her, and It was horrible, and undignified, ugly even. But I still loved and cherished my beloved wife as much as ever.

That night, she stilled again, and I almost thought her gone. She looked more herself again. Then I heard the softest voice call to me.

"John."

I clutched her hand, kneeling on the floor so as to bring my face next to hers, desperate to prolong this moment of clarity.

"Mary. I am here, my Love. Oh, God, my love, my one and only love."

My voice was threatening to break, but I felt the slightest squeeze of her hand again.

"I am so sorry. So sorry I must leave you, when I love you so much. And Elsie. I know you will care for her and keep her safe."

"She will want for nothing, Mary, my sweet life. She is part you, and part I, and indescribably precious. She will not know danger or hardship, and no child will know herself to be more loved."

"You will tell her about me? Tell her that I loved her more than life itself?" she whispered savagely.

"Of course I will. Every, tiny detail. I will write it all down, and I will tell her as I tuck her in to sleep at night. I will continually tell her about you. I will speak about you constantly, if only to remember your face the more.... Don't go, Mary. Please, stay with me"

By now, I was blinded with tears, and I clutched my wife's hands in both of mine, pressing them to my cheek, the tears pouring down my face and falling over her soft fingers as I kissed them again and again. My body was racked with sobs, which I no longer attempted to conceal. We both knew now what was inevitable, and my Mary would never deny me my grief.

"Please hold me, John. Watch over me tonight, don't let me be alone."

I lay on the bed beside her, gathering her to me and holding her gently. I looked into those eyes one last time, memorising them as I spoke.

"Just promise me you will watch over me, if you can. Watch over us."

"Always. I will always love you."

"I love you so very much, my Angel. So very, very much. I will be here beside you." To the End, my mind whispered bitterly to me, but I could not say it.

I held my wife in my arms, her head beneath my chin, breathing in the scent of her, still present, as I stroked her hair. Elsie was with Ruth. Tonight, it was just we two, till Death us do part.

A strange peace was stealing over me. I listened to the sound of her breathing, as it became softer, less harsh. Until each breath became shallower, and further apart. Until it stopped.

I kissed her cold forehead, and rose from the bed. It was still dark in our bedroom, but I could see the dawn light was beginning to creep greyly through the curtain. I would not look upon her face again.

I entered the tiny bedroom next door, the nursery. Elsie lay in her cot, Ruth slumbering peacefully in the bed, her own little boy in a Moses basket and her daughter in a truckle bed beside her. Silently, I gathered up my daughter, and carried her downstairs with me.

We had a little garden. Mary loved to tend it. I opened the back door, and breathed in the scent of the dawn. The rose coloured light stole across the sky, illuminating the delicate features of my daughter. I gazed alternately at her face, then up at the sky, watching high inky clouds scurry across it. I still felt that strange serenity, as I if were floating alongside them, carried on the morning breeze.

Elsie's fingers suddenly closed around my finger, tugging me back to Earth, and her eyes opened. I kissed her, snuggled my face against her warmth, then met those eyes again, and whispered down to her.

"Good morning, my Love. It's a beautiful day. Your Mama always liked the early mornings. Let me tell you a story about her ...."

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"Sob." I'm so sorry. I really didn't want to do that in the end.

The story continues in Chapter 7.

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