Edward's POV
After I had finally talked everything out with Carlisle, and Esme, I felt better. I was now willing to see Bella. Late that night when the hospital was the most quiet, I snuck in through a back way. They changed her room from the ICU, to the maternity ward to be closer to her daughter. Her CT scan had come back normally.
Making sure the nurse was busy working at the desk, I snuck into her room. I made sure to leave the door just the way I had found it. Carlisle had made sure that she was in a private room and down a hall away from the busy cycle of the ward.
Bella had bandages that started at her head, ending with the cast on her leg. I remembered seeing her like this after James. It had scared me so much to see her hurt, knowing I could do nothing about it. This time was worse. I was trying hard to deal with the anger, mixed with the love I still felt so strongly for her. The feeling rolled together until I didn't know whether to cry or destroy something.
On the cart by her side someone had sent a large bouquet of wild flowers. Someone knew Bella well enough to know that she wasn't a fan of roses and considered them ostentatious. Quickly scanning the card I saw the signature read, Jacob and Leah Black. On the side was another card, larger this time, made of construction paper. It was a drawing of four people in front of a small house. A typical child's drawing. In a bright blue crayon above the people were their names, Mommy, Daddy, Charlie, and Alicia Rose. In the corner was the full name of my son, Charles Edward Newton. I fingered the name and felt my long dead heart constrict in my chest.
The pain at seeing an obviously happy family was worse than even the flame of turning. I longed to see what he looked like, if he had my human eyes, or my mother's smile. Would his hair be dark like his mother's, or my own bronzed? I had missed so much of his life. I would have given anything to have been here since the beginning of his life. Bella had robbed me of so many years, all because I had wanted to keep her safe.
"You must hate me so much, especially to never let me know. How could you not have let me know? Was my wanting to protect you, worth me not knowing my own son? I left because I loved you, you kept him from me out of spite. I'm going to try for the sake of my son, but I don't know how I can ever forgive you for this Bella. I can understand you marrying, even being happy with Mike, if that's what you wanted. To keep my son away from me, Bella, was cruel that was something for which I never took you for." Carefully I unhooked the picture from the vase, folding it carefully, I put it in my jacket pocket. Leaving the room, I ran back to the house where I taped the picture to the refrigerator for everyone to see. One person was in the house. She flew to my side, laying her head on my shoulder.
"You shouldn't have done that you know. He is going to ask about it tomorrow afternoon when they bring him to see the baby." I stiffened. Alice massaged my arm. "Don't worry he's going to draw another one, but it won't be as good. I'll have to tell her that I approve the name for her little girl. I wonder if Mike knew the name was a form of mine and Rosalie's."
Alice's actions hurt. It hurt that she had kept the truth from me, but I understood it. Looking at the picture, I wanted to be angry. I couldn't. My leaving had given Bella the chance for the normal life I wanted her to have. With my left arm I wrapped it around my sister, pulling her into my side. For the first time in four years she let down her shield, allowing me to see into her mind.
"I'm sorry Edward. I did what I had to do to protect them. If you look deep enough, you'll see every vision concerning the outcome of telling you. All of her visions ended in death and despair. You're my big brother, and I love you, so I hope you can understand. You left Bella to protect her. I found a way to block you fully from my mind to protect us all." Slowly the floodgates opened to Alice's mind. I could see every action that my anger at finding out about my son would have caused. Many of Alice's visions ended with all of us dead, including Bella and Charlie.
"Thanks, Pixie. I'll find a way to make it up to you."
"Give Bella time so I can know my nephew, and I will forgive all." In the blink of an eye, Alice began replaying in her mind every vision she'd had of Charlie. Through her mind I got to watch the birth of my son, when he learned to walk, and crawl, his first day of preschool. None of the visions were as precious to me, as Alice's vision of him sitting up in his crib, playing with a stuffed toy of the Count from Sesame Street. Alone he patted the toy that shimmer in the light, and said "Dada." I watched through Alice's mind, as he fell asleep holding the toy.
"That toy is his favorite. Bella makes sure that it is always in his backpack. I tried to find out how she got it, but I've never found the answer. I think it's cute the way the fabric shimmers in the light, just like us." She took her arm off me, and went to step away. I had to catch her as she started to fall.
"I think I repressed all of those a little too much. I believe that I'm feeling a headache." Lifting her up in my arms, I took her upstairs to her, and Jasper's room.
"Do you want me to call Carlisle?"
"No, I'll be fine. I'm going to take a hot bath, and relax. Remember this afternoon, two o'clock, he will be at the hospital. Make sure that you hide in the closet across from Bella's room." I laid her down on her bed then left. My heart still filled with so much pain, was also feeling jubilant.
I took off hunting, keeping a close watch on the time. A myriad of thoughts ran through my head. My thoughts stuck on the images where Bella would not let me see my son. I had a hard decision to make. Would I stay, fighting for him, or would I fade into the background as I had done before? I didn't know.
Back at the house I showered, and changed clothes. Carlisle was in his office. I stepped in, closing the door behind me. No one else was at home so now was the perfect time to have a private conversation. At first it had angered me that Carlisle had blocked his mind from me, but now I understood, or was at least trying.
"I don't know what to do? Should I fight for him, or should I just leave now? I'm overwhelmed with the need to see him, to hold him. How did it happen that we had a child, it's not supposed to be possible?" I flung so many questions at my father at once that he held up his hand to stop me.
"Only you can decide whether to stay or go. The family will stay here now, for if possible. You alone, Edward, have to live with the eternity of not knowing your son if you walk away. Until a time when I can examine him, we don't know if any of the vampire genetics passed to him, or what those will entail. It may be possible that he is more human and will thus live, and die as human. He could reach a certain maturity, and stop aging. You have to decide what to do. How to live with the consequences of your actions, right now his father died in a car crash with his grandparents. You can leave it at that, hoping for the possibility he has a long human life. Can you stand on the outside, watching as he grew then got old, passing away without knowing him, or him you? In the end that is the safest answer, but safe is not always the right answer. Since he is your son, with even the smallest part of vampire genetics running through his veins, he will never be safe, especially if the Volturi ever finds out. You can leave, protecting him from you, or you can stay, protecting him from a threat that will mean his death, no matter his age."
Carlisle stood from his desk and came around. Placing both of his hands on my shoulders, he looked into my eyes. "I say this not as your maker, Edward, but from a position as your father over these long years. Do not let the opportunity, of a life with your son, pass you by. Though our situation is different, I am grateful for every year of life that I have been the father to you, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper. The five of you in my life brought meaning to my existence. I would not trade even one day for all that heaven holds. Do not waste the precious gift of watching your son grow, and change right before your eyes. Fight for your son Edward, the way I would fight for you." Looking me in the eye he embraced me, then left me alone with my decisions. Carlisle's words, and the image of my son patting his toy and saying Daddy, decided for me. No way in hell I was going to give up my son. If it meant a fight, then for him, I would fight.
*****
I was in the closet just as two o'clock came. With Carlisle back on staff getting around the hospital was easier. I had a clear shot into Bella's room. The nurses had propped the door fully open.
I heard them before I saw them. Two voices came down the hall. My ears latched onto one and my chest tightened.
"Did you like seeing your little sister, squirt?" After the prom, I would never forget the voice of Jacob Black.
"Yeah, she's so tiny, just like a pixie. Mommy said that pixie's really do exist. That a long time ago she knew one." The voice while high, and childlike was one I would recognize anywhere, it was so close to my own.
"Really, your mom knew a pixie. You have to tell me the story."
"Yep, she said this pixie loved clothes, and dressing people up like dolls. She was never mean about it. She just liked helping people that way." I could see my son now as they neared the door of the room. I almost choked in shock the hair was as dark as Bella's. It was no mistaking the green of his eyes, or that he was identical with the picture my mother had of me at the same age. The urge to grab him, to run, was overwhelming. I stayed put. I didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize me in his life permanently. Instead I memorized everything about him down from the backpack, to the tiny Converse shoes. He was the perfect combination of me, and Bella.
"Charlie, I have to tell you something. Your mom cannot talk to you right now. Last night we told you your parents, and grandparents were in a bad accident, right?" My son shook his head yes at Jake's question, looking afraid.
"Well in the accident, your mom broke her leg. She's banged up badly. She's going to be in the hospital for a few days. They have her on medicine that causes her to be sleepy." Jacob held onto Charlie's hand tighter.
"Like the kind she gives me when I have a cold?"
"Yeah, it's just like that."
"Do I get to see Daddy next Uncle Jake, can he talk? I want to tell him and Grandpa how you, and Grandpa Billy took me fishing yesterday."
Tears were streaming down Jacob Black's face. My chest heaved for my son. "Charlie, you remember how Leah, and I told you the accident was bad? Because of the accident, you won't get to see your daddy, grandpa, or grandma."
Jake bent, grabbing Charlie into his arms. Turning he went into the room leaving the rest of the conversation alone for a different time. "See, your mom got the flowers we picked for her yesterday."
"Where's her picture I want to show it to her?"
For an instant I felt ashamed at taking the picture, especially with seeing Charlie so eager to show it to her.
"It's lost somewhere, Charlie, we'll make a new one for her. Do you want to tell her about it, she can't talk yet, but I'm positive she can hear you?"
Jacob held Charlie in his arms. Charlie immediately started babbling about his picture, with fishing, and playing with other kids on the reservation.
For the first time in my existence I wished I could cry, anything to get the hurt out of my chest. I watched as my son told his mother, all about his day, and his excitement over his new baby sister. I wanted to be the one in that room holding him to me, hearing him talk forever. I was just about to leave the closet. The urge overwhelmed me to run, to take my son away, when I smelled a vampire.
Down the hall walked Carlisle, writing in a chart. A nurse walked next to him. The nurse looked direct into the closet, into my eyes. Alice, what in the world was Alice doing dressed like a nurse.
"What are you up to Alice?" I knew her, and Carlisle would hear my whispered words.
"You'll see." The words formed into her brain. It was refreshing to hear her thoughts. I had forgotten how pleasing it was to hear her in my head. I would have to tell her that someday.
I watched as Carlisle went into the room with Alice. I waited.
"Hi, I'm Carlisle, Bella's attending physician." I thought it was strange that Carlisle hadn't used his last name, but it didn't matter Jacob recognized him anyway.
A growl filled the room, coming from Jacob. Carefully he set Charlie down, then behind him, out of harms way. Charlie immediately looked terrified as he clung to Jacob's jean clad leg. Carlisle held up his hand to stop any apparent attack.
"Now is not the time for old arguments. Yes we are back for now. It will be up to Bella to decide how long we stay. Right now we need to concentrate on getting Bella well for her children. That is our main concern. Also, there are things concerning her care, with preparations for her spouse, and in-laws that need addressed. You can let either Alice take the child to the end of the hall to the children's waiting room, or we can discuss everything in front of him."
Carlisle was checking Bella's monitors, writing his findings down on her chart. Alice bent down, peeking at Charlie, who was looking around Jacob's leg.
"Hi, sweetie. I'm Alice, would you like to come with me. A room down the hall has many toys, and many supplies to make pictures. Would you like to make some pictures while your uncle, and the doctor talk?" At the mention of drawing a new picture Charlie perked up, then held out his hand.
"You're just like the pixie in my mommy's stories." His awe as he looked at Alice fully for the first time made my sister laugh.
"That's funny because my nickname is Pixie. You will have to tell me all about your mommy's stories about pixies." Charlie took Alice's hand not noticing the cold of her fingers and followed her.
She was almost to the door when Jacob grabbed her arm, bending close to her ear. "You take him one foot from that room, and I swear I will tear you apart." Something flashed in his eyes that I had not seen in a long time. It was then that I recognized the smell the chemicals in the closet had been covering. Jacob with whom knew how many others, on the reservation, were werewolves.
"I wouldn't dream of it Mr. Black. We will be down the hall in the children's waiting room, just like I said." Alice pointed to the nearly visible corner of the waiting room.
"So tell me Charlie have you had lunch yet? They have pizza, and ice-cream in the cafeteria today. We could have them bring you up some while you wait on your uncle." Alice waited while Charlie ran back to ask Jacob for permission.
"Uncle Jake said its ok, especially when I told him how much I want pizza, and ice-cream, they're my favorites." Again he grabbed Alice's hand. Together they walked down the hall.
Feeling jealous of Alice's time with Charlie I nearly hit the wall until Alice's voice sounded in my head. "Don't hit the wall. Wait five minutes. When Jake's back is to you, swing out the opposite way. Meet us in the waiting room. You will have just more than two hours with your son."
Joy was the only word to describe my feelings. In five minutes I would get to spend time with my son.
It was the longest five minutes in existence. Just as Jacob turned around, I slipped out the door to the left. I walked into the room to meet my son who was just sitting to draw a picture.
"Charlie, this is my brother Edward. Edward, meet Charlie." Alice introduced us, then moved away.
"Edward, that's just like my middle name." His eyes, so like mine, bore a hole through me. Bending on my haunches, I looked at what he was drawing. The backpack he had been wearing earlier was open. The toy from Alice's vision sat at Charlie's side.
"Who is this guy Charlie?" I pointed to his toy all the while never taking my eyes off his sweet face.
"That's Count. He's from Sesame Street. He's my favorite. Did you know that he's a vampire, but he's a good guy?"
"No, I didn't. He's neat. He shimmers in the light doesn't he? May I?" I went to pick the toy up.
"Yeah, it's neat. My mommy said some special people in the world have skin that shines like diamonds. She said that some were bad. She knew a whole family who sparkled like Count. They were good guys, and once they protected her from a bad guy who tried to hurt her.She told me she found Count one day while shopping. It reminded her of the special people and how much she missed them."
Carefully he handed his cherished toy to me. Alice, and I stared at each other over it. Had I been wrong in my feelings? Did Bella deliberately try to keep me from my son, or did something else happen? I was going to have to wait for Bella to wake up to find out. What I did know was that I didn't want to miss any more of my precious child's life.
"Charlie, I think I smell pizza." Alice singsong voice trilled. The sound of feet coming our way brought a smell of another vampire.
"I have an order of pizza, salad, apple juice, and ice-cream for Mr. Charlie Newton." The voice of my mother rang in the small room. I looked at her curiously.
"What, if you think I'm going to let the two of you monopolize my grandson you're nuts." I smiled at her when her voice came through my head.
It was the best hour of my life. After Charlie ate his lunch, we finished his picture together. He, and I made a tower of Legos which he promptly pushed over, laughingly destroying it. Sesame Street came on, if my heart could have beaten it would have. Charlie with all the fearlessness of his mother crawled into my lap, and arms to watch his favorite program. My mother, and sister quietly left the room. I had a half hour of bliss. Slowly Charlie fell asleep in my arms, a place where he felt too right and natural. Next to having Bella in my arms so long ago this was the greatest feeling in the world. Bending I placed a kiss on top of his soft head. Quietly I began humming the notes to his mother's lullaby.
Whatever Bella wanted me to do I'd do it if I could stay in Charlie's life. After holding him I knew all the wrong I had done in leaving Bella. I wasn't ready to fight then, but I was now. Some part of me said it was going to be a hell of a fight.
I heard Jacob walking down the hall shuffling papers in his hands. Closing my eyes I prayed Charlie would stay asleep.
Walking into the room Jacob saw me, saw Charlie, and started to shift.
"Are you insane?" Carlisle grabbed Jacob's arm, pulling him out of the room, reminding him of where he was.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" His voice was low, on an edge, his eyes were rapidly changing colors. His muscles had bulked. Jacob was close, too, close to changing. He stared at me. I stared back.
"Don't fight him on this. You don't want to look like the one causing trouble. I know you don't want to let him go, Edward, but you have to." Alice's voice rang in my head. I knew she was right.
Standing slowly to not jostle Charlie, I grabbed his backpack. At some point his legs had gone around my waist. His head had snuggled into my chest with his small hands clasped around my neck. Taking the few steps to Jacob, I handed the backpack to him. Moving slightly, I tried to get Charlie to disentangle his hands, but he held on harder.
"Come on Charlie, we need to go home." Jacob tried to pull Charlie off. He held closer. It was then that I realized he'd been awake.
"No, I wanna stay with Edward." Charlie's hands tightened on my neck. He closed his eyes, burying himself in my jacket.
"Charlie, we have to go home. Now!" Jacob's calm was hanging on by a thread.
"No, Uncle Jake, I wanna stay with Edward." He was being deliberately defiant.
"Charles Edward Newton, I said now." Jacob's eyes were too, close to the wolf's. The anger in his voice made Charlie jump, sending tears running down his face. His small body was trembling. I closed my eyes to keep my temper in check. My ecstatic sister rewarded me for my cool, who began cheering me on in my head.
"Can I at least carry him to your car? I think he's had a long day. We all have." Jacob glared, growling at me, but he could not do much without making a scene himself.
"Fine." The sound snapped much like I'm sure his jaws would in wolf form.
"I'll let you out a back exit. It will be quicker." Carlisle showed us down the hall to the employee's elevator.
Charlie clung to me, crying softly, sniffling into my T-shirt. "It's going to be all right, Charlie." I said the words in my head, more of a prayer than a statement to my son.
"I like you, Edward, will you be my friend?" I stopped briefly in my tracks then kept walking.
"Charlie can you hear what I'm thinking?" The thought of him having my gift astounded me. I wonder if anyone else knew.
"Sometimes, Mommy says I'm not to, that it's rude. I'm not supposed to tell anyone. Daddy doesn't even know. Don't tell anyone okay. I don't want Mommy to be mad at me." His eyes looked into mine with all the trust in the world, trust I hoped to earn.
"Can I tell my dad? He's like us? I promise he won't tell anyone." Charlie nodded yes. Closing his eyes again he snuggled back into my arms.
Rain had begun falling outside. Neither Jacob, nor I had an umbrella. I held my coat over Charlie's face so it would not get wet. Jacob had gotten a space close to the entrance so we did not have far to go. It surprised me to see Jacob driving Bella's old truck, but with a new paint job. I opened the passenger's door, setting Charlie into the child's safety seat.
"Can I play with you again, Edward?" He hugged me tight before settling in his seat. He let me buckle him in. I heard the low growl in Jacob's throat.
"I'd love to, Buddy, but I'll have to talk to your mommy first." I ruffled his hair then closed the door.
"Don't make him promises, Cullen. I don't want to see him cry when you're not around." Jacob rested his forearms on the hood of the truck glaring at me.
"Well considering I don't see myself going anywhere, and that I have all the time in the world, I think I'll be making myself comfortable." I waved a good-bye to Charlie as Jacob got in. He gunned the truck's engine. It sounded new, and made me wonder why Bella got rid of it.
When they were gone, I ran for home.
"Hey slow down man." I nearly shoved Emmett to the ground when I burst through the door.
"Can't, sorry? Is Carlisle home? Never mind." I heard the crunch of the gravel. I met my father at the door of his car.
"Go change your clothes, and go to the meadow with me now." I didn't give him a chance to say anything yet. Withing moments he was back in old clothes then we were running.
When we were on the edge of the meadow, I doubled back tackling my father playfully around the middle, sending us both flying.
I was laughing as he flipped me off to land on my feet. I hadn't laughed in five years.
"He can hear me, Carlisle! Charlie can hear me, and I can hear him!" Grabbing my father I hugged him tighter than I ever had before.
"Do you mean what I think you do?" He looked at me in astonishment.
"Yes, Bella knows. Charlie says he's not allowed to because his Bella says it's rude. He's also not allowed to tell anyone. Mike didn't even know." I tackled him again. This time we were both laughing. We wrestled for a while. My heart felt lighter and better than it had in years.
After hunting we sat on a rock overlooking the valley.
"You know what this means don't you? There's a good probability that Charlie has other inherent abilities. We need to be careful about this Edward, if the Volturi finds out, they will either try to take Charlie, or kill him." Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder. His words were sobering. I knew that I needed to start making contingency plans in the possibility they ever learn the truth.
"Besides Bella and Charlie's safety, Edward, you also have someone else to think about now." I looked at Carlisle curiously.
"Bella's daughter."
I was deeply ashamed, then saddened simultaneously. In my excitement over Charlie and learning I had a son, the realization never fully sank in. Bella now had a newborn infant to care for. It saddened me to know that Bella had fallen in love enough with Mike to have wanted his child. If we hadn't, have come back to Forks six years ago would it have been Bella and Mike all along?
"Stop, Edward. If you play all the scenarios out in your mind, it will not change the present. You and Bella happened for a reason. If you cannot handle that she had a child with her husband then staying long enough to work something out about visitations with Charlie is best, and we'll leave."
"No!"
The word was out of my mouth before I realized it. If Bella ever let me back in her life then I would have a son and a daughter. It wasn't Bella's or her children's faults that I had left, never even tried to contact her. She had gone on with her life just as I had wanted.
"So what do you know about toddlers, and babies Carlisle?" Carlisle started laughing. It was contagious.
"I think we're all in for a bumpy ride."