An: guess what everyone? It's finally a new chapter! Yaaayy!! (Throws confetti)…. ok I know what your thinking…what the (add swear word(s)) took so long. Well, you see, it all started with this crazy blank space in the middle of my mind. At first it was really small, something at the back of my head, but it kind of started to grow and before I knew it my brain became one big nothing, a huge blank, an endless void that just went on and one and…. well you get the picture (sigh). therefore I had what you call the biggest writer's block I've ever had in my life…so far. It wasn't just this story, but pretty much all of them. It also had a lot to do with school, but I rather not go there. Any who, once I finally started getting thought back into my head, I did as much writing as I could so the wonderful news is that I have more then one chapter completed. Unfortunately, I am not going to update both at the same time so the next chapter may not be updated until Monday (just cause I like to piss you all off….haha jk). Also, I'm not going to lie, this chapter is crap. Its boring, but it beneficial to the story. The next chapters will be better.
Um oh yea and for the next chapters to come, for those who have been reading so far, it would be a good idea to go back to the previous chapters in case you forget about what's going on (which may not be likely, but what ever.).
All right I'm done rambling now so enjoy this wonderfully disappointing chapter.
disclaimer. I don't own any Poto characters and stuff blah, blah, blah.
Chapter 6: Anxiety
" Well my god Christine!" Ellis said in disgust. " Whatever has been wrong with you for the past week! Look at you, you look like a corpse!"
The three other sisters laughed in unison to this as I stood in front of them in the deck room that over looked the back gardens.
Sighing deeply, I ignored their comments about my feeble looks and stepped forward into the room to go out into the next doorway leading up to the stairway, which led to my own room.
How badly I wished to go there and just fall into a deep sleep. Ever since I had begun the music lessons with my mysterious music instructor, sleep had been taken away from me and anxiety was put in its place.
It wasn't just the music lessons and the unending worry of disappointing Erik that formed this unstable feeling, but the worry that my foster parents would find out I was going to the house every night without their knowing.
If someone was to find out Id been sneaking out every night for music lessons to the strange house in the woods, I would most likely be sent back to Paris where Id have to go to another boarding school. My foster parents would most likely do this for they would not tolerate such behavior and recklessness from me.
It took some work at first to convince them what happened that night when I stepped through the large doors of the haunting mansion a couple of weeks ago. Erik had kept his word in working things out even though Cathy was not pleased one bit. In the end, me and the other servant Mr. Hanson convinced the others that I had stumbled into the gardens and lost my way. The scars and bruises I had gotten from falling in the mirror chamber where from " falling down a flight of stairs" as Mr. Hanson put it.
Unfortunately there was no way in telling everyone why I had to go back to the house every night. The servants, especially Cathy, were not pleased with Erik's decision to risk me being punished to come to the house every night. Not only that, but that they may get in trouble as well for letting me risk in the first place. There fear of Erik however kept them from going against his will.
With such circumstances, I had no choice but to tell my friend, Marie, the truth. Well…most of it anyways. I told her that I had gotten lost in the house and that I had happened to bump into Erik. In doing so I had told him about the dare and in return, for trespassing, I must come to the house every night to be taught how to sing.
Marie was very surprised by this at first and just as confused, but she soon accepted what happened and agreed to help me keep the secret from everyone especially Elli's parents or my so-called foster parents.
Because me and Marie's families were usually busy with the up coming wedding and all and didn't care much what we did as long as we stayed out of the way, it was easy for us to just walk out of the house or ask to go out and "explore" without them become suspicious. Once we were out of the house Marie would come with me to Erik's mansion.
I had to convince Erik that she should be welcomed into the house and stay there until my music lessons were finished because, before, she would stay and wait for me near the house's gate, but she didn't feel comfortable sitting their in the dark and I hated to leave her there. So after some great courage I finally asked him for her to "visit" while I came.
At first he gave me a quizzical stare and I almost thought he'd say no, but after a long silence and irritated tapping on a dark wood desk, he finally nodded his head. "If she absolutely must." He had said softly and then said I could go.
I gave a somewhat nervous smile and had quietly left. After that, Marie had come, without question, inside the house with me every night. While I would be effortlessly trying to do Erik's bidding of improving my voice, Marie would wait. Even though the servants weren't entirely happy with having to keep the secret of us coming every night, they, however, could not contain there happiness of having new visitors in the house for what seemed like ages.
There were of course some rules that had been set. Not just for Marie but for me as well. We could explore the house as we wished, but we were not allowed in certain rooms or hallways and the only time I was allowed to come to Erik's rooms was for the music lesson otherwise the servants were the ones to report to him if I needed to see him. Marie of course was not allowed to come near Erik's rooms at all.
When coming to his room I was not allowed to touch anything without his consent nor go into his private chambers or anywhere near a certain door that was hidden behind a red velvet curtain. Even though I was curious I knew better then to go against Erik's will. Some days while I would wait for Erik to arrive, id look upon the door and wonder, but never moved towards it. The door seemed to have its own mysterious power that said, "Keep away or suffer the consequences!" I did as I was told.
It had been almost a month now since my first music lesson with Erik. The first night I had to come I was so nervous that I began to shake and I almost thought of not even going. But something inside me kept me from changing my mind. I wasn't sure whether it was the thought of having true music back in my life again since my father's death or of seeing Erik. I couldn't lie in saying I wasn't curious.
But it wasn't all about that. Erik was willing to teach me how to sing better then I ever have or thought I ever could. Its true, the lessons were in some ways excruciating at times and of course tiring, but no matter how hard they got or how much we worked, even when I was almost on the verge of tears, it all started to pay off.
It's only been three weeks and I can feel myself getting better. There have been some days when I couldn't feel it however, where I may have been too tired to go on. But no matter how many times I had to repeat a warm up or single piece of music Erik never seemed to get angry. He just kept pressing me on until he felt I had done it perfect or to his liking.
Now, as I walked across the room between Ellis and the three laughing sisters, I knew that the look of exhaustion from the previous weeks showed upon my face.
" What have you and Marie been doing out there anyways? Climbing trees? You look like you haven't slept in days," Ellis said lounging on a love seat.
I continued to ignore her and walked out of the room without so much as a glance behind even with the girls softly laughing behind me. I didn't care what they thought. I was too tired to care anymore about Ellis's childish taunts. As I turned to walk up the stairway I looked up to see Marie looking down at me.
" No offense Christine but… I think Ellis may be right for once. You look exhausted. This teacher of yours seems to be pushing you way to hard. Maybe you can ask him for a day off."
Even though I was tired I couldn't help but laugh at this suggestion. " If you were me Marie would you go up to him and ask that?"
Marie didn't have to respond, for I could see it plainly on her face that the answer was "no."
Smiling softly I lifted my dress and walked slowly up the stairs. I heard Marie sigh deeply.
" You know Christine you don't have to do this…you never have time for rest anymore. Always having to get up early cause of this stupid wedding and then not getting back until late because of your lessons. Don't get me wrong I enjoy going to that house, it is definitely interesting but I wonder…do you really enjoy going to these lessons or are you…afraid?"
I had reached the top of the stairs and then froze to look at Marie. I could see worry spreading across her face. I stared into her eyes for a moment then shook my head and smiled.
"No…I'm not afraid. I truly think I want this, I…ever since my father died music had seemed to vanish from my life…but now I feel as if its reappeared some how like some long lost missing piece of me and its wonderful Marie, its truly wonderful because I feel somewhat whole again." We walked into my bedroom and shut the door. Sitting on the bed, I put my head on her shoulder. " It is tiring Marie, but it feels worth it.
Marie rapped her arm around me. " Well Christine, just know ill be here for you. If you ever need to talk about anything just know I'm here ok?"
I suddenly then felt immense guilt and felt that I needed to tell her what truly happened. But I knew I couldn't, not yet. Marie would care only for my safety and if she knew what really happened, she would not let me go back to Erik no matter what.
I nodded my head and thanked silently for Marie as a friend. If it wasn't for her I don't think I would have the courage to stand up for myself.
As I looked at the mirror next to the wall I then understood for the situation that had happened down stairs. My hair, usually in big, thick curls was now more of a sloppy wave, there were faint circles forming under my eyes and my skin looked paler then usual. When I had finally washed my face and detangled my hair I slipped on a nightgown and climbed into bed.
Marie sat next to me on the bed. " Get good rest Christine tomorrow is going to be a big day."
I sighed once again not wanting to think about it. There was to be a party at the Ewell's house celebrating the wedding to come. The one-day I could not get out of to get to my music lesson.
The worst was that I had yet to tell Erik so now I would have to go to the mansion and tell him before I left if I was lucky to get away without anyone noticing. Not only that, but I'm afraid he'll be quite irritated with me.
Trying not to think about it I closed my eyes and tried to think better thoughts.
" Good night Christine." Marie said and blew out the candle next to my bed.
" Good night" I responded back and Marie closed the door.
As my eyes began to adjust to the darkness around me I looked out through the window beside my bed at the moon and clear night sky outside knowing it would be sometime before I would eventually be able to fall asleep.