Hello my amazing readers! I know it's been a long since I've updated and for that, I sincerely apologize. I've had lots of stuff going on lately. But I won't feed you any excuses :P That's not why you're here. I hope you enjoy this chapters and if you have any questions or anything you really want to see happen, feel free to leave a review or private message with your suggestion. :) Thanks so much to everyone who has stuck with this story. :D
All my stories are dedicated to Cory Monteith and the amazing legacy he left behind. And HAPPY VERY BELATED BIRTHDAY CORY :) We all love you so damn much, buddy. :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or anything affiliated with it. All of that belongs to the Glee writers and FOX.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"You have to promise me you won't do anything Finn. You got it? I don't need you putting Sam in the hospital or something insane like that. We're handling it. You need to handle your situation." Blaine explained to Finn over the phone.
"Why can't I just call her and talk to her? I want to hear her voice, make sure she's okay." Finn wanted to scream in
It was 10am and Quinn had just gone to work so he was left home alone, perusing through the tv channels. He'd gotten the call from Blaine twenty minutes ago. Blaine had explained that Sam and Rachel broke up just the night before.
When Finn asked what exactly happened, Blaine had gotten nervously and was sputtered out things that screamed bullshit. So Finn called him out on it and after much more prodding, Blaine told him the full truth.
Sam had put his slimy fucking hands on Rachel and hurt her. Blaine said she had a couple bruises on her arm where Sam had squeezed particularly hard, but other than that she was just shaken up from all the drama that had happened.
Finn could only see red. He wanted to find Sam and beat him to a pulp for even laying a single finger on her. He just didn't understand how someone could even think about hurting someone so small and perfect.
"We, meaning Kurt and I, think it would just be better if you dealt with your Quinn situation. To avoid any unnecessary drama." Blaine sighed, knowing it was probably a moot point.
"I have to see her Blaine. You don't understand." Finn rubbed his temples.
Blaine sighed again. "Please Finn. Just deal with your Quinn situation first. Then you and Rachel can just be together." Blaine paused. "Now I gotta go to work. Please listen to my advice okay? Goodbye Finn."
Finn returned the sentiment and hung up. Finn groaned and rubbed his face, tossing his head back against the couch.
That was his exact problem. He had no freaking idea how to tell Quinn. How do you tell your wife you've been cheating on her with your best friend and now you're leaving her for said best friend?
It was a task Finn was beginning to think was impossible. But he just knew Quinn was becoming suspicious of something. Almost every night she'd come onto him, he'd denied her and said he was too tired.
There was only so many times he could deny her before she started questioning the real reasons he didn't want to be intimate with her. And he was running out of time.
Not that he was downplaying Rachel's relationship, but it was bound to be much easier for her to break up with Sam. They weren't even married and had never even seemed that in love. Finn had been with Quinn much longer and at one point, they had honestly loved each other.
While that wasn't the case anymore, it was still sad to think about giving up on a relationship that you'd tried so hard to fix.
But then that thought just confirmed all his other thoughts. They did try. He and Quinn tried therapy, talking about it to no avail, everything. And none of it worked. Maybe that was a sign.
Rachel once said something during one of their late night conversations that really stuck with him. She told him that, "What we wait around a lifetime for with one person, we can find in a moment with someone else." She said she'd read it in some book once.
But he had never forgotten it. The quote always stuck with him because it was the first quote he'd ever truly related to.
It described his situation pretty perfectly. He'd spent so much of his and Quinn's marriage trying to convince himself that he was happy, in love. That Quinn was the woman he couldn't live without.
When they first started dating in high school she was the typical head cheerleader. She was bitchy and Finn didn't know why he was with her half the time. When they graduated, she changed a bit, became a better, calmer person. So he just went with it, hoping against hope that one day he would feel that strong bond, that tether to Quinn.
And then Rachel came along and all the thoughts about Quinn were thrown out the window the moment he touched those lips. He'd that connection with Rachel within just hours of them meeting. She was the one that was supposed to be at the other end of his tether. He just knew it in his heart.
What we wait around a lifetime for with one person, we can find in a moment with someone else. He repeated the quote in his head and breathed out in determination. Tonight had to be the night. He was going to tell Quinn tonight. He'd tell her the whole truth about everything that had happened because she deserved that much.
Then and only then could he really pursue this relationship with Rachel. In a way that was fair to them. Rachel Berry was the kind of person that deserved an epic romance. Not a relationship based off of lies and an affair.
But first, he had to see her. He had to make sure she was okay after all this Sam stuff that happened. Fucking asshat. Finn thought bitterly about Sam. He was sure nothing would stifle his need to punch that prick square in the face.
He quickly ran through his options. He could just call her up and ask her to meet him somewhere secret. But Kurt was probably near her and would most likely demand to see any messages she'd receive.
He could also get someone to tell her instead. Someone who could get in and out of the apartment without Kurt getting suspicious. He couldn't have Blaine or Santana do it. They were probably in on the whole, -keep Finn and Rachel apart until everything blows over- plan. So that was a no go.
Then it hit him. Sebastian. The dude may have been dating Kurt, but Finn was almost positive he could convince him to help. It's not like he wanted to take Rachel away to a foreign country.
He just needed to hold her, feel her, make sure she was okay. He had a feeling she was the only person that could give him the courage to do what he had to do tonight.
And these past few days had practically killed him. He didn't want to be away from her for another second. Perhaps that saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" wasn't a pile of bullshit because he had never missed or needed her more than he did at that moment.
Finn pulled out his phone, more than grateful that he had put Sebastian number in his phone in case of emergency.
He stood up and began pacing around the room as he waited for Sebastian to answer the phone. The other man picked up on the third ring.
"Hello?" Sebastian answered.
"Um hey Sebastian. It's Finn." He scratched the back of his head nervously.
There was a small pause. "Finn? What's up? Is there something wrong with Kurt?" Sebastian asked curiously.
"No no Kurt's fine. I just- I have a favor to ask of you." Finn paced nervously some more. He was hoping and praying that Sebastian wouldn't tell Kurt.
"Depends on the favor." Sebastian drolled.
Finn cleared his throat. "It's a um, Rachel related favor." Finn licks his lips. "I'm assuming you know everything thats going on?"
"Yeah I do. I also know Kurt said he thought you two should stay away from each other for a while. Did you break the news to Quinn?" Sebastian asked.
Dammit, Kurt did tell him. He was going to have pull out the big guns and try to get some sympathy from the other man if he was going to get what he wanted.
"No I haven't. I'm trying to work up the courage to tell her tonight." Finn started, biting down on his lower lip nervously.
"I'm sorry Finn. I'm under strict orders from Kurt not to allow you and Rachel to see each other until this situation is handled and under control. He says Rachel doesn't need the added stress and sadness of seeing you and knowing that you're still with Quinn." Sebastian said finally, the tone of his voice hinting that he was about to hang up.
"Sebastian, please! Just- just wait a minute okay? Here me out." Finn pleaded. When Sebastian didn't make any movements and didn't hang up, Finn knew he had gained the other man's attention. "I know what I have to do tonight. It scares the crap out of me. Have you ever had to break someone's heart Sebastian? Like really break it by admitting that you cheated on them or did something horrible?"
Sebastian sighed a little, the noise sounding like he was just blowing a steady stream of air through the receiver. "No I haven't."
"Then please. I just need to see her. She's the only person that can give me the courage to break someone else's heart. Seeing her will be the great big reminder I need that this whole thing is worth it." Finn sat down on the edge of the couch, sighing in mental defeat.
He heard Sebastian grumble to himself. "Okay Finn, if I do this, you owe me big time. And if you tell Kurt I relented this easily I'll kick you in the nuts until you can't have children. I don't need my relationship messed up because I was trying to save yours."
Finn grinned. "You have my word. So what's the plan?"
"I'll find a way to get Kurt out the apartment and then you sneak in after we leave and talk to her. How long will you need?" Sebastian asked.
"Like an hour maybe? Can you keep him out for any hour?" Finn already began putting his shoes on.
"Yeah I can do that." Sebastian sighed. "But please Finn. Don't cause anymore drama. Just see her, comfort her, but don't say anything that you know will upset her."
"I-I know. I won't." Finn stuttered, pulling on his coat. Did they really think that little of him? Had he really hurt her that much? "And Sebastian?" Finn paused his coat-buttoning.
"Yeah?" The other man asked cautiously.
"Thanks. I know it isn't an easy decision to go against your boyfriend when you don't really know me at all, but thanks." He smiled.
"Don't mention it. I'll just be happy when you two aren't moping around all the time. Blaine tells me you've been exactly like Rachel the past few days. I'm glad to help end that." Sebastian explained.
"It means a lot." Finn just continued to smile softly.
"Don't mention it. Now get your butt over here so we can get his over with." He chuckled.
Finn laughed, and they said their pleasant goodbyes.
Then before he knew it, he was waiting in a coffee shop across the street from Rachel and Kurt's apartment. He didn't even know if Santana still lived there but he was just assuming she didn't. Sebastian hadn't mentioned anything about her.
He sat up and little straighter and brought the coffee to his lips when he spotted Kurt and Sebastian, pretending he wasn't watching their every move.
As they got further and further down the street, Finn had to crane his neck to follow their movements. Once he was positive they were gone, he quickly stood up, his nerves filling him up from the tips of his toes, to the top of his head.
His phone beeped and he clicked the button, illuminating the screen and showing a text from Sebastian saying that he was in the clear; he had Kurt well out of range of the apartment.
He blew a gust of breath through his lips, hurrying across the street and up the all-too-familiar staircase to the loft.
Wiping his shaking and sweaty hands on his jeans, he knocked on the door, hearing small movements inside before the lock and doorknob shifted.
When the door opened he heard a gasp and his eyes shot up to her face. When he took in her appearance he felt his heart break for his beautiful girl.
Her cheeks were tear-stained and she was wearing a very un-Rachel like combination of sweatpants and a baggy hoodie. Her look was topped off with a messy ponytail at the top of her head.
"F-Finn?" She all but whimpered as they stood there and stared at each other for a moment.
"Oh Rachel." Finn sighed and at the sound of his voice she broke down in tears again. He moved quickly and shut the door, wrapping her up in his arms and taking her to the couch where they sat down together.
She shifted against his chest and just cried softly as he made sure to hold her close to his body, the heat from her breath sending shivers down his spine.
"Shhh it's okay baby." He ran his fingers up and down her back soothingly.
"Y-you should have seen his face. I've never seen him look so angry a-and hurt." She sobbed. "I feel so horrible."
"Rachel, look at me." He pulled her from his chest, cupping her cheeks and making her look at him. "You did what you had to do. It was for his own good. He just didn't love him anymore. He certainly didn't need to hurt you." Finn wiped her tears with thumbs his voice wavering as he tried to hold his anger in.
"H-he didn't mean it Finn. He was just upset. I know he wouldn't hurt me." Rachel squeezed her eyes shut, letting a few more tears escape.
"Don't make excuses for him Rachel. He made a dick move and he's lucky I don't go after him and beat his stupid face in." Finn kissed her forehead, knowing that she was the only thing keeping him from beating the crap out of Sam.
Rachel pushed against his hands, cuddling herself against his chest again. "Please Finn. Please just forget about it. I just want to be done with it all." Rachel sighed.
Finn opened his mouth to protest and Rachel must have sensed it because she lifted her head again and covered his mouth with her little hand, silencing him.
"Finn, I don't want you to get into trouble for beating up my ex-boyfriend okay? He knows that what he did was asinine. And I don't plan on ever talking to him again if I can avoid it. It's done." Rachel rubbed his cheek softly, trying to make him understand that everything was okay.
Finn pouted. "But he hurt you."
"I'm okay Finn. Please drop it. For me?" She asked him softly.
Finn kiss the pulse point on her wrist, nodding. "Fine. But only for you."
"Thank you." She mumbled, wrapping both her arms around his neck and hugging him again. "So why are you here? Not that I'm not happy to see you."
"I just really needed to see you. After hearing what happened with Sam I had to make sure you were okay." Finn kissed the side of her head.
"So you're still with Quinn then?" Rachel asked. The hurt in her voice was enough to make his heart feel like it was being sliced in two.
"Not for long." Finn assured her, holding her around the waist and tugging her even closer into him. "I also came here because you give me courage. Being around you, loving you; it gives me courage to do make the tough decisions. As soon as Quinn gets home tonight I'm going to talk to her baby. And then we'll only have to wait a little while before we can be together."
Rachel fisted his shirt and kiss his chest at the word 'baby', making him smile. "Do I really mean that much to you?" She whispered against his neck as she laid her head down next to it.
"More than you could ever know Rach." He pulled back a little to kiss her forehead.
She smiled against his neck, squeezing his body. "How did you get in here? Kurt has been watching the door and my phone like a hawk." She giggled. "It's been just a little irritating but I know he does it out of love."
So he had been right. Kurt was reading all her messages. Thank god his brain decided work today and have him the idea to call Sebastian.
"I uh, called Sebastian and used some sympathy tactics to make him feel sorry for me so he'd let me see you. He said he'd take Kurt out for an hour at the most so I could talk to you for a bit." He smiled.
"Mmm I'll have to thank him." She snuggled deeper into his arms. "I haven't been able to sleep lately. Ten minutes in your arms and I'm already feeling ready to sleep."
He chuckled, rubbing up and down her spine. "I wish I could stay with you all night but Sebastian will be back with Kurt in like, half an hour or so. I should probably leave a little earlier just in case." He sighed begrudgingly.
She pouted as she looked up at him. "I don't want you to go."
"I know baby." He kissed her forehead repeatedly, closing his eyes. "If I could stay longer, you know I would."
"Watch a movie with me? I have ice cream." She asked hopefully.
He smiled. "Of course baby. What movie?"
"My favorite!" She kissed his cheek, reaching for the remote and flicking on the DVD player and TV at the same time.
"Funny Girl?" He chuckled.
"You know it." She pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered them both in it, signing in content as he slid her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.
And then they watched the movie in silence as Finn thought about what he had to do tonight.
It was scary as fuck, but knowing that this was the endgame, sitting here with Rachel and just watching a movie together; content and in love with each other, it made all of it seem worthwhile.
Knowing that being with this woman and loving her everyday for the rest of his life was possible, gave him the courage to prepare to do what he had to do. And that was to ask Quinn for a divorce.
It was crazy that all it took was holding her in his arms to make him feel better. It was crazy how much he had come to need her.
But then again, it wasn't that crazy. Not when he thought about his insane love for her.
And that thought was all he needed to make the biggest decision of his life.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
He felt a certain kind of nervously that night as he waited on his and Quinn's couch for her to come home. It was the kind of nervousness that made him feel nauseous and lightheaded.
He wanted so bad to have a drink, calm his nerves. But that was the easy way out. He could drink and use the alcohol as a way of escaping the fear of what he had to do.
But that wouldn't be the best course of action. Quinn deserved better than him drinking like a coward and then asking for a divorce. The last thing he wanted was to look pathetic.
So here he was, sitting in the dark silence of an apartment that suddenly felt so strange and foreign to him it nearly made him feel sick.
His hands were shaking like crazy and every couple seconds or so he'd glance at the clock above the stove. It looked like he had a twitch.
Finally, at about nine-thirty, the keys jiggled in the lock on the other side of the door and Finn felt like all the air was being sucked from the room.
"Finn?" Quinn called into the darkness, a tinge of fear in her voice as he heard her drop her bag onto the table near the door.
His throat felt dry and raspy. "U-um in here Quinn." Finn called from the living room, wiping the sweat from his brow.
Her heels clicked against the wood floor as she walked into the room nervously. "Finn? What's going on? Why do you have all the lights off?" Quinn asked.
Finn stood up from the couch, feeling like he was going to faint. "Quinn, we need to talk about something.
"Well let me get settled first, get some food and have a shower." Quinn chuckled, shaking her head as she started towards the small hallway.
"Quinn." Finn urged. "This can't wait. It's really, really important."
Quinn sighed, walking back over to him so she was standing near the lamp, reaching over and turning it on. "What's this all about Finn?"
Finn breathed out unevenly. "You and I both know things between us haven't been going well lately. We've been fighting a lot and therapy hasn't been doing us any good."
Quinn's eyebrows furrowed. "Finn, we promised we'd keep working on us. Why give up after fighting for so long?"
"It's just getting too hard Quinn. We aren't getting anywhere with this. What's that saying? 'How many times can you beat a dead horse before you realize it's never going to open its eyes'?" Finn sighed. "I feel like that's us. Always trying to fight the inevitable end."
Quinn sat down on the couch, defeated. "I knew something was up with you. You haven't wanted to be intimate for months." She buried her face in her hands.
Finn felt his heart twist painfully. "I'm so sorry Quinn. I didn't know how to tell you. I was so scared of breaking your heart."
"I appreciate that Finn. But if you had just talked to me, we could've had this conversation way sooner. This trance we've been in for the past few months... It's been ridiculous." She wiped her eyes lightly with her handkerchief she'd pulled from her pocket.
"I feel so horrible Quinn. I just... God, I had this whole speech prepared in my head that I've been rehearsing for hours. And now that we're here I can't remember any of it." Finn chuckled humorlessly.
"Is it Rachel?" Quinn asked quietly. He couldn't see her face so he couldn't tell whether she was angry or hurt.
He was quiet for a moment, not sure about how to answer that. "Just tell me the truth Finn. Nothing you say is going to be able to change our situation. I know what's going to happen." Quinn pulled back from her handkerchief, her eyes glassy from tears.
Finn rubbed his own eyes, never feeling more sad and guilty about a situation before. "Yes. It's Rachel." He sighed. "I'm so sorry Quinn, I never meant to feel this way. I tried so hard to will away my feelings for her. But it never worked. I-I fell in love with her Quinn."
Quinn stifled a small sob. Finn was startled, immediately scooting over to place a hand on her shoulder. "Quinn, I-" He started.
"Please Finn, no apologies." She interrupted him. "I just, I never expected us to turn out like this. I think I've known for some time. T-that you have feelings for her. I just wanted so bad to pretend I didn't know." She wiped her eyes, hiccuping a little.
"I don't know when your affair started but it was just a couple months ago that I saw the way you looked at her. I wasn't even angry, just sad and jealous." She continued.
"Why were you jealous if you didn't know anything was going on?" He asked sadly, rubbing her shoulder.
"You never looked at me like that. Like I hung the moon. I guess I was jealous that you looked at a stranger like that but not you're own wife. Though now I can understand. It was because you really did love her. More than you ever loved me." Quinn told him, gently pushing his hand off her shoulder.
He had never heard Quinn Fabray sound so defeated before, it made him ache with sadness. This woman, who was usually so confident in herself, was admitting to herself that her husband had never loved her as much as he did another woman.
"Quinn-" He started again, only to be cut off once more by her shaky voice.
"I-I actually have something to tell you." Her voice wavered, taking on a more frightened tone.
"You can tell me anything Quinn." Finn assured her.
"I'm pregnant." She revealed, her face creasing with tears as she sobbed into her hands.
Finn felt his head spin and he swear to god he was about to throw up. Quinn. Pregnant. A Fuinn baby. Rachel. Oh god Rachel.
He felt hot tears spill down his cheeks and a familiar sense of despair seeping into his bones. Fuck. This couldn't be happening. He was supposed to divorce Quinn and then be with Rachel, and together they'd live happily ever after.
Quinn was not supposed to get pregnant with his baby. A part of him heard her crying next to him, but the larger part was just concerned with himself and his own happiness.
He didn't want to have to stay with Quinn only for the sake of the baby, but how would Rachel react to him having a daughter?
He felt Quinn eyes on him so he turned a little, cowering in her pitying glance. "W-wait Finn. T-that's not the worst p-part." She stuttered, resting her hand on his knee.
What could possibly be worse than her being pregnant?
"It's not yours." She heaved out another sob.
He couldn't tell what he felt now. Relief? Sadness? Betrayal?
Not that he had any right to feel betrayed. He cheated on her too. And he was more than surprised Rachel wasn't pregnant, given how many times they went at it.
"Who?" Finn asked quietly, deciding just to get some answers before he decided how he felt.
"One of my clients." Quinn managed to mutter out as she calmed herself down.
That must be why she wasn't so shocked at Finn's admission. She had cheated on him too. And gotten pregnant.
"Do I know him?" Finn asked, his cloudy mind registering the fact that Puck was one of her clients.
"His name is Biff McIntosh." Quinn replied sadly. "I've seen him on several occasions. He doesn't know yet."
He felt some sort of relief that his friend wasn't the father of his wife's baby. But also hurt of course. But he shoved that hurt back, she was obviously hurting too. They'd both done each other wrong.
"So what do we do now?" Finn asked dejectedly.
"We get a divorce." Quinn shrugged sadly. "I can't ask you to stay with me just because of a baby that isn't even yours. Not only would it be unfair to us, but it would be unfair to Biff and the baby. Whether or not he wants it."
"I'm still going to help you Quinn." Finn told her seriously. "I'll pay for your appointments and whatever else you need."
"Why? It's not yours." Quinn glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.
"But I still care about you Quinn. Believe it or not I did love you Quinn. I still do. It's just not the kind of love we used to have." Finn said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side.
"I know what you mean. This is just... It's weird isn't it?" Quinn laid her head on him.
"What is weird?" Finn asked confused.
"I mean, almost every TV and movie divorce or breakup I've seen ends ugly. It ends with yelling and anger. We've had non of that. I fully expected us to end this with tears and anger." She explained.
Finn thought for a moment, really taking her comment seriously. It was odd that they were ending on such good terms.
"I guess it's because most people don't have the right amount of love and respect for each other. We love each other enough to respect the fact that we could be happier with other people. I like to believe it's that simple." He rubbed her knee gently.
Quinn nodded and he could feel her smiling. "When did you get so smart huh?" She poked his arm.
He laughed. "It's a newly acquired skill. Thanks to the hallmark channel and their sappy love movies." He joked.
She chuckled in amusement, turning serious after another moment. "I don't even know where to start with this whole divorce thing." She rubbed her temples.
"Hey," He sat up a bit, smiling at her, "Don't you worry about that. You just worry about telling Biff you're pregnant. All you need to do is sign the papers when the time comes."
"Thanks Finn." She smiled back. "For what it's worth, you were a really great husband. I know I didn't always show it, but I was happy with you for a while there. A part of me is really sad this ending after so many years together."
Finn wrapped his arms around her, hugging her into him. "I'm going to miss you too. You made me happy for a really long time Quinn. I want to thank you for being there. You always were, in good times and bad. I'll miss that." He sighed as she reached up and placed a kiss on his cheek. "But we'll still talk. I don't want to be one of those people that never talk to their ex. We'll stay in touch." He assured her.
And he really would miss her. The familiarity of being with someone that had been there since he was in high school would be gone. It would definitely take some getting used to.
But they owed it to themselves to be the happiest they could be. She should have the chance to make things work with Biff and he should have the chance to make things work with Rachel.
It was that thought that comforted him that night as he slept on the pullout couch, Quinn down the hall in her bed.
They'd talk later about who would keep the apartment, but Finn already knew he wanted Quinn to keep it if things with Biff didn't work out, so she wouldn't have to worry about finances.
He knew they had a lot more to talk about. And the fact that they'd both cheated on his each other still made him feel sick and disgusted. But he was glad they'd both come to the same mutual understanding that their marriage had run its course. It made his conscious feel slightly better.
He lay awake, staring at the ceiling as lights from the city outside danced on the white plaster above him.
He sighed, relieved that the worst was over but also still anxious about the future. He didn't know what was going to happen but one thing was for sure.
He was ready and excited to face whatever life had to throw at him next.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A/N: I hope that was okay? Finn and Quinn still have some stuff to talk through but the important thing is they are on the same page. :) I didn't want to make Quinn the bad guy (as she is almost always portrayed) so I wanted it to be a very mutual split. Thanks for reading and don't forget that reviews are love! :P