Chapter 6 – Lost secrets
The lights in the theatre sprung to life when he flicked the switch by the door, glinting off the smooth black stage floor, scuffed from years worth of dancers and moving props. The velvet seats were folded and empty, rows ascending upwards to the very back wall which was painted a pale red, their cushion framed with a metal painted gold. But my favourite thing about the grand theatre, big enough to seat the whole town, was the glass chandelier which hung over my head. It seemed too difficult an accomplishment to imagine this theatre was not new.
Our Victorian inherit age; due to great care, you had the illusion of going back in time the moment you stepped inside. Erik was already at the stage by the time I had snapped out of my gawping, walking over to the glossy black piano still left out from the ballet practice. I ran down the steps towards him, cursing my every breath, every step, and promising myself to beg Meg for dancing lessons so I could get fitter the moment I got home, even before dinner.
"Welcome," he smiled at me, his visible cheek had a dimple when he smiled. He took his coat off and threw it in to the West wing "To my theatre, my home," he threw his arms out either side of him, "Isn't it beautiful?" his eyes were gazing out from the stage, a far off twinkle searching for infinity.
I wondered for a moment what it was exactly he was seeing. Perhaps an audience showering him with applause and roses? Maybe the stars in a clear summer night? He turned to me, his arms by his sides now, his wide smile hidden and his eyes showing so many things that I desired to comprehend but could not. "Its like nothing I've ever seen before," I nodded at him warmly, but his eyes darkened at this, I could tell a storm was brewing. The comfortable silence crumbled.
He turned from me, walking towards the piano where he settled and began to play, his head bowed over the keys, almost as in defeated prayer. I remembered his tears that morning, and the guilt pinched my stomach before it doubled at my realisation. My mind gaped in horror at my careless mistake, noting too late his change in mood; he must have thought I meant his mask. I didn't mean that, now all I wished to do was to apologise.
Treading carefully, I walked over to stand beside him. My hand reached out as though to place itself on his shoulder. But he didn't seem like one for personal contact, if anything he seemed as though he tried to avoid it completely. The notes from a soft Swedish lullaby my father used to croon to me as a child flowed out of the piano, making my eyes sting with the promise of tears if I let myself indulge in self pity so instead I refused and allowed my head to only be filled with detached sounds of notes, that's all they were.
The notes built in to a crescendo before they fell and disappeared in to the air. The silence continued. Now was my chance to speak. "I wanted to apologise," I could almost feel him smirk even though I couldn't see his face. "Oh and why would that be?" His fingers twitched over the keys, and I knew he was simply trying to focus just in order to remain polite, otherwise he would find himself playing over me. "Because I think I might have offended you…"
He didn't stir, he remained silent for a few seconds. Then before I could speak any further his voice rang out coldly, "Pretty hard to do, seems as I barely know you, also I don't get offended." At this point he did carry on playing. I could feel that growl of anger beginning at the pit of my stomach but I ignored it. "Its ok to be offended" I stated, fidgeting with the hem of my jumper. "Really, I get offended by the smallest of things, its just how life works."
His fingers crashed for a second, because I don't think he was expecting me to say any thing like that. But then he picked up the melody and carried on playing. His music brighter than the spot light, melting away the ice around my heart that had been building, rekindling its beat after so many days of being a living corpse. Since… since they died.
"Well," he murmured clearing his throat, "Little people have simple minds." My face stung as though he had slapped me. But why would he insult me, when I had shown him nothing but kindness? All I wanted to do was be there for him, be his friend. "We are all little people," I spoke through gritted teeth. "Speak for yourself" he mumbled, his fingers dancing sleepily over the high keys.
At this, my easily triggered temper boiled over. "Now look here!" I cried, placing both of my hands on his shoulder. He flinched and jumped up turning to face me, the piano lid slamming shut. His eyes were wary and guarded. This moment would define every thing I had learnt about this school over the past few hours. This was my first test at Lake-Side.
"I might not be the prettiest person, or the most confident, or the best at maths. There are a lot of things I cannot do. But I am any thing but a small person. Yes, I get offended easily, and I may have an uncontrollable temper," I could feel my face heating up and my eyes prickling with tears of annoyance and loneliness, "But I am a person and I refuse to be spoken to that way. I offered you an apology because you mistook what I said, about never seeing any thing like it." I gulped and turned away from him, facing out at the theatre.
"I was talking about the theatre, you thought I was talking about your mask" I shook my head and turned back to him again. "But even if I was, your mask is just that a mask, what ever is beneath it does not matter. Let me be your friend, please, let me show you that not all of the people in the world are inferior or prejudiced or judgemental."
His voice was quiet as he murmured, "You don't know what its like to be on your own, and to have no one." A dark chuckle erupted from my throat and he glared at me. "Again, you presume before you state. Both of my parents are… are…" Tears were trailing down my face, and the words poured out by themselves like some twisted sort of vomit, forcing itself out of my body after being bottled up for so long.
"Both of my parents are dead and gone. My cousin doesn't understand me and my aunt thinks I can take care of myself. No one has tried to let me talk about it, the people I thought were my friends only liked me because my parents were famous and the worst part is…" My eyes scrunched up. "The worst part is I don't even know you properly, but you've already worked your way in to my head. Because I thought that you might understand, that you might listen, but you're behaving just like all of them."
His eyes widened as he caught on to my words. "Be m- my friend?" His arms had been crossed across his chest, but now they fell limply by his sides. "Be my friend" he repeated walking over to me, ignoring my intake of breath as his hand pushed my chin up so he could look in to my face. His eyes drank in mine, his fingers dusting over my cheek bones, my eye brows, the arch of my nose and forehead. He gulped and stepped back. "I would – would like to be your friend" He whispered fidgeting with his hands.
My anger dissipated. "I'm glad," I managed to form. Absentmindedly, I found my fingers brushing over the piano keys and wondered how I had reached there. Erik's eyes were there on my back, following my every move. Moving my feet, I perched on the edge of the piano stool. "You play?" he asked curiously. Wandering around, he leaned against the piano, his elbow supporting his chin to keep it up.
"Not very well," was my response, as I tried and failed not to look in to his eyes. "Me and my mother used to play duets when I was younger, she taught me. I haven't played since she…" My mouth closed, refusing to let me finish my sentence. He seemed to catch on and understand though. Nodding, he responded, "You don't have to be afraid of playing you know, his hands covered my hands. My breath caught in my throat, as his fingers led mine across the keys in the Chopin waltz.
"All pain can be transformed in to beauty," he murmured, his breath shifting the curls by my shoulder. "It just depends what you make of it." With that, he removed his hands from mine. "Play me some thing." His previously soft voice now demanded me. Not loudly, but with a sense of power that could not be denied. "B-but all of my pieces involve" gulp "Singing" I squeaked.
Shoulder shrug "That's a bonus then I guess." I couldn't help but blush at the in obvious compliment, and although I didn't say Thankyou, my blush was enough to note by him. "You're most welcome" he chuckled. "Now, please, from the beginning of the aria."
At his request, after a few minutes of silence, I launched in to a beautiful piece called think of me. It was a soprano's heart break, one of those pieces so easy to perfect – that is until you get to the end. Mother always swore that the cadenza would be the death of her, though she always sounded perfect to me.
Luckily, my throat was well exercised from my piece earlier in the day and I managed to reach the high note without any problems, although it left that pleasant tingling feeling that most people describe as burning in its tracks. When I had finished, I removed my foot from the sustain peddle and rose quickly walking over to Erik's side. His hands grabbed mine and suddenly he was stood right in front of me, his eyes burning with excitement, brighter than a sky full of fireflies in the country house father used to rent in school holidays.
"Your voice its, its…" he seemed dazed. How could it be that some thing so simple as my voice had transformed his previously mercurial demeanour in to some thing captivating and beautiful. "The most magnificent thing I have heard in my life," my blush deepened as my eyes searched his. He was telling me the truth. "That's the nicest thing any one had ever said to me" my smile was soft, I guess it resembled my speechlessness. "Thankyou" My voice was light and quiet.
Suddenly, I was aware of how close we were standing. If I reached out my hand, I would be able to trace the mask he wore, to take it from his face, but I would never do that, his trust meant too much to me, it was only just beginning. I couldn't betray him on our first day of meeting. I could never betray him. "Let me teach you," He suddenly spoke, voice rich and filling my mind. "Let me make you the best," his fingers shifted the edge of my scarf and my face was burning again.
"But there's only one place for a lead soprano at this school, Carlotta I-" My head shook side to side "I cannot compete with her, I'm not strong enough to do that" Turning away, his arm stopped me. "Then let me make you strong enough." My mouth opened to answer, although I still didn't have any words in my head, well not words strung coordinated in to full sentences with correct grammar. But before I had a chance to answer, the phone my aunt had given me that morning rang in my pocket. The sound of Shostakovich symphony 5 startled us both I think, only Erik didn't show it other than a flicker of annoyance in his eyes that our conversation had been interrupted.
Smiling apologetically, I pulled the phone from my jeans, flipping it open a text from Meg opened up on my screen. Hi there Chrissy ;) where are you? We were supposed to be meeting for lunch remember? Any who, you have missed out on the most awesome cafeteria scene gossip. Just make sure you meet me and Elle after school out side Cedar park, we're going to her house for dinner, Mothers meeting us there :-)
Well, there went all chance of getting to know Erik better. Turning quickly, I grabbed my bag and nodded to him a goodbye. "I wish I could stay, but I need to find –" "You never answered my question, will you let me teach you?" Startled I turned to look at him, bad mistake, the force of his voice and his eyes all at once was hypnotising. "Yes, I'd like that" was my slow response. He smiled and my mind was empty of every thing else but that image. "Lessons begin tomorrow after school, here. See you then" Then he turned, silently, marching back to the stage with long strides.
Dazed for a few seconds, I stared after him. But then the bell rang and I turned quickly, my mind filled with confused thoughts of mysterious masked musicians and a mess of where the history class room was. The door slammed behind me and hastily, I made my way after the crowds, hoping they were going the same way as me. Hopefully, it wouldn't take too long.
History sped by and by the time it was over, my head was still puzzling over where Mozart could possibly have been buried that it would be so hard to locate. But unlike literacy, I kept my queries to myself. The professor, a doctor Firmin, who had dark hair, a sarcastic demeanour and a handle bar moustache. His constant suspicious gaze and condescending speech already caused me to dislike him against my better will of not judging people from first impressions.
Walking over to Cedar park only took me a few minutes, in the sea of people exiting the school, my eyes searched for him, but I didn't see him any where. Some thing inside me seemed to fade and I realised, I had been hoping to talk to him again before the day was out. Instead, all I had was the promise of a two hour dinner and then an evening filled with home work.
"Christine!" My head snapped up, a smile on my face, only to fade as I whirled around and carried on walking. "Christine! Wait up!" Oh heavens, why wouldn't that ridiculous boy just leave me alone! "Excuse me," I mumbled avoiding peoples stares and trying to get past. When Carlotta came in to the middle of my path. All I could see were a large heeled pair of shoes, bright purple with fluorescent pink and green feathers. They were hideous and resembled Barney the dinosaur. I tried to contain my giggles as I looked up to her face, twisted in to an angry school as she looked down at me.
"Well, what do we have here? A little toad perhaps?" Her two friends laughed, until she raised a hand in annoyance to cut them off. "Now listen here, I'm the lead singer at this school, so don't even think of acting all innocent when you're trying to take my place!" "I swear, I'm not trying to take your place in any thing" I smirked at her "Besides, if I were going to take your place, I wouldn't have to try very hard." As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. I wanted to make her annoyed, the way she made me feel. Instead I had just angered her in to hating me all the more.
I remained staring her down with a straight face. Her eyebrow twitched in irritation. Her mouth fumbled for some thing to say, before she let out an angered sigh, stomped her foot, shoved me over and carried on marching towards our home room, where I presumed she must have left some thing.
The books and sheet music I had been carrying lay in disarray around me. I knelt hurriedly, trying to collect it all, gathering it in to a messy pile. Please don't let him see me, let him continue on, I prayed in my head. But a shadow knelt beside me. Raoul – eurgh. "Here let me help you," he smiled. His hands reaching out to the same piece of paper I was reaching for. "No Thankyou" I replied, snatching it up before he could. His 50 watt smile faltered. My biting remark seemed to have knocked him off guard. He was used to girls swooning all over him I bet. I was no damsel though.
Gathering every thing quickly, I slung my backpack over my shoulder. But before I could walk away, his hand pulled my shoulder back. "I was only trying to help" he stated innocently enough with a puppy dog face. "Fine, Thankyou" but his hand still trapped me against the railing by the door. "Well, if that's all I'll just be going." His hand didn't move.
"I'm looking forward to our date tonight" he smiled as his hand slid from my shoulder to my hand, as he continued walking hence dragging me with him, whilst I tried to remove him from me. "I'm sorry Raoul, I won't be showing up tonight." I breathed in deeply, trying to settle my anger and to soften my voice. "I just don't like you that way and I erm…. I'm sorry, but I really don't want to be in a relationship right now." His hand dropped arm and he glared at me.
"Then why on earth did you say yes?!" He questioned, his eyes squinted in mild disapproval. "You didn't give me much of a choice." I responded. "Now if you'll allow me to get out of the door, I need to meet my cousin." Our shoulders brushed as I walked out on to the pavement of the street. Looking forward, only a little while away, I could see Meg and Elle sat on a bench in front of the park gates by the tree that gave the old park its name. Looking back, all I could see was the sadness written all over Raouls face as he slumped away through the canteen to the art rooms.
Some where inside me, a voice was telling me to go back, apologise and beg for him to be my friend. But another part of me, the bigger part, told me that I had done the right thing, because how could I go out with a guy after knowing him for only a day?
Elles House was nice, quite large, bigger than my aunts with around 30 rooms. One of those beautiful houses you only ever see in TV shows. She had so many brothers and sisters, around 14 in total, alongside the pet cat called Frosty. It was mind blowing seeing so many people all related in one big house like that. I couldn't help being jealous that they all had each other.
There was Tom, the oldest who was nearly 18 and was studying film and animation at college around 25 minutes in to town. Then there was Jess, his twin, who talked to me for so long all about horoscopes and what they show relating to philosophy and psychology. After Jess was Dominic who is a year behind the twins, then Marcus, Sophia, Luchia, Prim, Grace, Lucas, Marius (her mother was a fan of the musical les miserables at the time of his birth) Robert, Poppy, Stephen and little Samuel, who had chocolate all around his face when his mother strapped him into his high chair.
Despite Elle having so many brothers and sisters, I found that she still was just as loud and crazy as me and Meg were, despite being far from the loudest, eldest or youngest. Dinner was quite an interesting affair indeed. We gathered around the large table, taking our seats and dragging in extra ones, all of them mismatching with patch work cushions. Mrs Drewan was seated at one end of the table, with my aunt at the other.
"So Christine, is Lake-side to your liking so far?" asked my aunt before eating a forkful of chicken and lettuce leaves. "Oh yes, school is quite lovely, there is the most exquisite theatre and all of the teachers seem quite pleasant," My fork danced around my plate, despite the delicious content I found myself unable to eat yet, my stomach all butterflies.
Tom nodded from his seat next to me, "I know what you mean" he chuckled, "I was never fond of Firmin either." I gaped at him. How on earth did he know my opinion without my telling. His laugh grew, "There aren't that many horrible staff, but if there was one you wouldn't like, guessing from your rather quiet disposition, I would place my bets on the old man."
Meg giggled and I rolled my eyes. She had a huge crush on Tom, which both me and Elle found repulsive, after all, the guy had a pile of dirty socks taller than his guitar. She glanced over at me, placing a hand on her heart dramatically. "The dance school must be much lighter on manners than the music" I joked and Meg choked on her glass of water, the liquid spurting from her nose and Poppy copied her, whilst Elle just recorded the whole thing. "Youtube" her voice sang, as the table fell in to a pleasant silence, every one recovering from the laughter stomach ache.
Meg looked up at me, strands of her icy blonde hair falling out of the bun on her head. "Did you make any friends?" she enquired, as Luchia, Prim and Sophie helped their mother gather the plates and hand out small sundae glasses filled with chocolate ice cream they had made themselves with the use of Hershey's chocolate bars, my mouth watered at the sight.
"Well-" Megs eyes lit up as my voice trailed off shyly, "You like a boy already?" her voice was excited, and I could feel her interrogation radiating off her like some sort of hideous threatening perfume. "Who? Is he a musician too?" In my head I mentally laughed at her, because there was no way I could have fallen for a non musical guy in a music school.
"I don't like a guy, well I do but just as friends, he's been extremely kind to me, the only person to be kind to me in all truth," I stirred my ice cream, watching it melt around the metal of the spoon, leaving chocolate chips in milky pools. "His name is Erik" The table was silent. Megs eyes widened. "Erik Destler? THE Erik Destler?" she gaped at me. Every one elses eyes were on us curiously. "You've heard of him then?" her reaction had sparked my curiosity, and I was intrigued.
"Only from rumours from the other dancers," she blushed, "he plays in the school orchestra and he's really good but-" she gasped nervously, "he wears that mask on the side of his face, and he always seems so silent and mysterious, I just don't understand how he could ever be described as kind. What on earth did you talk about?"
Eyes on me. "Well… he heard me sing in form time, and he suggested that he could help to train me." Tom laughed next to me and I glared at him. "Wow, this guy is pretty full of himself if he thinks he's good enough to teach you" I frowned, my eye brows crumpling over my eyes. "You haven't heard him play" both me and Meg said in unison. I smiled at her, grateful for her support. She smiled weakly, and almost nervously back.
"Its like he is music himself," I found myself whispering. "That music reached out to me in a way no other has, not in my whole life. It was like water and fire all in one, enough to freeze and burn you." Thirteen year old Luchia twisted her hair around her fingers, the strands getting caught in the rubber wrist bands with boy band names hanging around hand. The smell of the popular strawberry lipgloss and body spray she was obsessed with floated across the table. "Wow, you're sooo lucky," she sighed "Masked and mysterious, it sounds like a romance novel"
"The kind you shouldn't be reading at your age," Mrs. Drewan frowned at the girl, who only smiled back, all long red hair and wide green eyes. "But mother," she drawled sweetly, too sweetly, "You let Dominic read those awfully revealing magazines on the erm… anatomy of the female body," every one at the table tried to refrain laughter, as Dominic spluttered an unintelligible response before excusing himself and fleeing the room.
Glad of the subject change, I gladly chatted with the remaining diners and my relatives. Within the hour, the only people left at the table were me, Meg, Elle and their mothers. As the clock struck nine, Auntie turned to us and said "I think we should go home now girls, its getting quite late and it's a school night." We all agreed, despite wanting to stay longer I was exhausted. Meg and Elle hugged as though they would never see each other again and I shook hands, thanking her for the lovely meal.
She smiled at me, waiting until Auntie and Meg were in the car before she leaned in to whisper in my ear, "Your auntie seems uninterested, but she wants to see you kept safe as much as I do, so just promise me you'll be careful around this Erik boy, and all others at that ok?" she implored, her eyes earnest and determined.
Feeling a sense of comfort at her compassion for my well being I smiled at her, " I promise," She squeezed my hand before watching me trail over to the car.
When I looked back at the house, the door was closed and the only sign of life was the wind blowing through the flowers that lined the window ledges. I turned back to face the front window, my ears deaf to the sound of traffic, of Meg and her mother gossiping about some new celebrity on the scene and tried to focus on the monotonous blur coming out of the radio speakers behind me.
But all I could hear was the elegant voice that had been haunting me since I heard it first thing this morning.