Breaking the Ice

posted: 8/06/09

ISF: It's comment time!

Comments

Sandra Malfoy: Whew, that's a relief. I was a little uncertain about how I did on those memories, so I'm thrilled that you enjoyed them. Thanks so much for reviewing!

St. Danger: Strangely enough, I feel like Kaiba can really be compatible with so many people in Yu-Gi-Oh! Jounouchi, Anzu, Shizuka, maybe Yami Yugi, and heck, even Mai! I've actually got some plans in the back of my head for a Jounouchi x Mai x Seto love triangle when I've completed some of the fics I already have going. Don't want to be too ambitious with twenty fics going! XD But anyways, thanks for the review!

ForeverBlue90: Cute? Great! I always knew that Kaiba was a softie real deep down! Here is your update!

PrincessChitra: Your wish is my command! (cue I Dream of Jeanie music) Thanks alot!

CrimsonZero: It seemed natural for me to mention Kaiba's mom and brother, since those are the only people that I could conceivably believe that he loved. Well, his dad too, but since he doesn't really remember him well, you get the point. XD It's got to be bad loving so few people in his life. No wonder the dude's got a cruel streak longer than the Nile! And lucky for you, this chapter has Anzu evaluating her feelings for Kaiba. Thanks for reviewing, and keep on reading!

killthesnakesx: I'm truly flattered that you love it and think I did a good job. ^_^ I really appreciate it.

XxGoddess AthenaxX: Good lord, woman, you're making me blush! Surely I'm not that great! (laugh) But nevertheless, I thank you heartily for your kind words and am happy that you connect so much with the story. It touches me.

TheButterflyFairy122: Thanks for the motivation and encouragement, dear! Here is your new chapter!

Egyptionkitty: Yes! Another convert to the Church of Azure Shippers! But I digress. You bring up a good point about needing to refresh a lot of readers' memories about canon events. I forget that the show's been off the air for like, four years now. So I'll put in some more flashbacks this chapter to show how much Anzu and Seto have been through. Or should I say, what Seto's been through with Anzu watching on the sidelines with the rest of the gang. LOL!

itsabell-chan: You can only imagine how I felt typing it up. XD I was trying so hard not to lose all my composure. It pleases me greatly to make you laugh, so thanks a lot for telling me how funny you thought that chapter was.

And now, your feature presentation!

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o o o o o

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Honda knew that there was something clearly bothering Anzu Mazaki.

She had come back to class thirty minutes after leaving with Kaiba and was reprimanded by the teacher. She said nothing, bowing respectfully in apology and going back to her seat. Without a word to any of her friends, she put her nose in her textbook, working in what looked like silent diligence at first glance but Honda knew was idle time-wasting because her eyes had not yet moved across the page. They were slightly puffy and pink.

She said very little for the rest of the period, pretending to be immersed in her work. When the lunch bell rang, Anzu got a pass from the teacher.

"Aren't you going to eat lunch with us, Anzu?" Jounouchi said between bites of his meal. She shook her head and gave what Honda thought was a weak attempt at a smile.

"I need to go to the library to study for a while. I'll see you after lunch," she said. Jounouchi shrugged indifferently and returned to amusing Yugi with his imitation of Kaiba's earlier freak out, albeit with an intentionally more feminine scream. Yugi was red in the face trying not to burst out in laughter but, alas, it was a losing battle. Honda watched Anzu leave the classroom and quietly shut the door behind her. After a few seconds, he got up to the teacher's desk.

"I forgot, Teacher, I have to go study, too. May I have a pass?" The teacher looked irritated but said nothing and signed a slip of paper. Honda left the room. He saw Anzu turn a corner in the hallway, walking in the opposite direction from the library. He frowned a little, and followed her stealthily.

Anzu destination was the auxiliary gymnasium. It was smaller than the main gym and thus was almost always empty during lunch hour. The room was rather dimly lit, but it was still possible to see her outline fairly well. She walked up the bleachers and sat down at the very back. Honda was watching her behind the door, his neck craning around to get a good look at her while still remaining inconspicuous.

Anzu sat, alone, for a long time, staring down at her feet. Honda waited. The minutes slowly ticked by. He was beginning to get a neck cramp watching her, but a part of him kept him rooted to the spot, telling him that he needed to stay.

And so, he was there to see Anzu's composure give out. She began to cry quietly in her hands, her shoulders shaking. It took all of his courage for Honda to walk up to her.

"...Anzu...?" Honda said uncertainly. She looked up, surprised.

"Honda....what are you doing here?" Anzu tried to sound normal, discreetly trying to wipe away her tears. Honda did not give a vocal answer, instead sitting down in the seat beside her. They sat for a while in silence. Anzu began to cry again. She turned her face away from her friend.

"Oh, Anzu, don't do that," he said, clearly exasperated. "There's no shame in crying. Come on, you've seen me cry before."

"That was different," muttered Anzu throatily, pulling out a handkerchief. "Somebody threw a 75-miles-per-hour fastball at your crotch."

"Yeah, and my manhood still hasn't regained its original shape," Honda laughed. Anzu giggled in spite of herself. A short pause followed.

"Honda..." began Anzu, still not looking directly at him. "What do you do when somebody tells you that they love you?"

"Well...if it were me, I'd tell them how I felt."

"But I don't know how I feel!" she despaired, finally looking at Honda, who leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms.

"I think you do know your feelings," he said to her shrewdly. "You just don't want to admit it."

The two were silent for a few minutes. Honda waited for her to reply. She wrung her handkerchief into a tangled mess.

"I'm just...so confused," she said. "I remember when I first fell in love with somebody, I didn't even know who they were for a while, but...I looked up to him. He was strong, good, and virtuous. I always believed in him, and I didn't even know what he looked like! And then after we learned about the Pharaoh, I was so mixed up. I didn't know which side of Yugi I liked." Honda could understand. It wasn't every day you were attracted to a person who shared a body with a sixteen-year-old boy. "I didn't know if they were the same or split personalities or what. But my faith in him was infallible. I could never be angry at him. I could always count on him. Not the way it is now, I mean, I can barely stand to be alone five minutes with Se—I mean...." she trailed off uselessly.

Honda sighed. "It's okay, I already know this is about you and Kaiba." Her eyes nearly doubled in size.

"But...what...how did you..!?" Chuckling a little, the boy pointed at the handkerchief in her hands. She lifted it to eye level, and saw, to her dismay, the initials "SK" embroidered in a corner.

"Besides, it's not like it wasn't obvious," Honda continued. "You and lover boy canoodling for half an hour after leaving class. Of course, Jounouchi and Yugi are completely clueless about it, but I've suspected it for a while now. I knew there was something going on, at least from Kaiba's side."

"Really? How did you know?"

"You never noticed how much he stared at you in class? Well, when he was actually in class, that is." Honda put his hands behind his head and leaned back leisurely. "I caught him more than a couple of times looking at you from behind those big books of his. It's just that he didn't catch me." Smirking, he winked at his astounded female friend. "Being in the background most of the time has its benefits, you know."

"Oh...I see...." She broke her gaze from him and stared off thoughtfully into space. Honda saw her eyes growing misty again.

"I don't know what it is with him...." said Anzu quietly. "Sometimes when I'm around him, I feel this strange feeling inside of me. It's not the same sort of feeling that it was with Atem. Well...I can't explain it. It's the same but it's different." She growled in aggravation, rubbing at her temples. "I mean, when I felt this feeling for the Pharaoh, it was...comforting. I felt safer than I'd ever felt. I knew that he could protect me. I felt like I had a guardian that would fight to the death to keep me safe. But with Seto, it's the opposite. I feel like I'm naked and vulnerable and stripped of all pretenses, but a part of me also feels like he would never take advantage of that weakness. He's too proud to do that." She placed a hand over her heart, closing her eyes. "It's weird, but...I guess with the Pharaoh, I felt like regardless of whether I not I existed, he was somebody that didn't need me or anybody else to fight on, even if he did love me, but I feel around Seto as if I...could be needed. But then when we get into an argument and it's a never-ending circle. I do a 180 and want nothing to do with him...It's just...oh...ugh, he just pisses me off so much!" she exploded. Her angry voice echoed in the empty room ominously.

Honda nodded to himself. Kaiba brought out the worst side of her along with the best. Groaning, Anzu let her head fall forward.

"But as I'm yelling at him, with all this rage inside of me, I feel...it's a complicated feeling. I'm angry and I'm...not exactly happy, but I feel...."

"Alive?" he suggested. Anzu nodded.

"Yeah. I feel this rush of adrenaline and I get so pumped up and when we stop arguing and he's away, I'm left with my anger fading away and my heart pumping so fast and my face flushed, and there's butterflies in my stomach and I've never felt so alive before. It's like a high. I don't really think that makes much sense to you, but—"

"No, no, it makes sense," he assured her. "And let me tell you something just between the two of us, I always thought to myself that you and Kaiba would be a better match for one another."

"Really!?"

"Really. Yugi and the Pharaoh need to protect the people that they care about. Which is great, but I don't think you ever realized that you're too proud to be able to take that sort of treatment for very long. You and Kaiba are both have the same sort of pride and temperament, but you complement one another. Balance each other out. Oh, you two would get into arguments all the time, don't get me wrong, but I think that in the aftermath of those fights, you two would actually listen to the words behind the yelling and screaming. You would tell him off for being so removed from human connections and being so cold, and he would demand that you use the backbone that you have to be ambitious, more independent, and to not fall into the damsel in distress thing you always had going on with Atem." Anzu blushed. She knew what he meant. At the peak of her infatuation with the Pharaoh, she would do the most foolish things to get his attention, which usually ended up with her having to be saved.

"But...I...I don't want to break Yugi's heart...." she whispered sadly.

"Anzu, cut the crap," Honda said furiously. "Do you think that he would ever stop being your friend just because you like somebody else? After all that we've been through together? What's worse to you, making your friend upset for a while and have them eventually forgive you, or potentially losing the person that you love and possibly never getting them back?"

He made a point, Anzu realized. Honda gave her a meaningful look. "So, I want you to ask yourself one more time and be completely honest with yourself. Are you sure that you don't have feelings for Kaiba?"

Taking a deep breath, Anzu tried to clear her mind of everything. She was alone. Honda was not beside her, and her confusion and fears were not around...she sat in the silence for a good moment before asking herself a question.

Am I in love with Seto Kaiba?

She thought about it. Nothing gave her a straight answer. Everything that she had already said to Honda came back in a puzzling jumble. It wasn't that easy at all, she inwardly sighed.

But then, floating out of the dark recesses of her mind, an image of Seto Kaiba appeared before her. It was from earlier that very day. The memory, like a movie, act itself out seamlessly. They were seated outside, and she was wiping away the tears on her cheeks. He reached into his pocket. The real Anzu was on the sidelines watching this scene captured in time unfold. She looked at his hands. He had long, delicate fingers and perfectly manicured nails, but his hands were not effeminate in the least. They had the air of somebody who worked very hard and who took good care of them. He pressed the handkerchief into her trembling palms and gripped her hands for a brief space in time. Her hands were tiny in his.... Her hands, cradled in his strong, comforting grasp. It was so insignificant, yet so unbelievably meaningful and significant to her, the most important thing that had ever happened in her life. He spoke to her, his voice a low murmur, yet full of the strength that she wished she had, completely intoxicating and infuriating and lovely and horrible and inspiring every sort of emotion that Anzu had ever known in herself.

And then a multitude of her memories with Kaiba rushed forth, blinding her to anything else, filling her senses, making her feel like she was drowning.

At Duelist Kingdom, she saw him fall to Pegasus. There was a sorrowful pain in his face that seemed to be tearing up her insides. She wanted more than anything to go to his side and shield him from the white-haired, laughing man.

And another...

She wanted to scream but couldn't, there was no time, the crate was already descending. In a fluid motion she felt her shackles being freed and somebody hoisting her up and pulling her away. Then the box came down but she was already out of her chair, she was safe, she was alive. She looked at who her savior was, half-expecting it to be the Pharaoh even though Yugi was in a duel... But it was Seto Kaiba. For just one second, he squeezed her closely to him, and then that feeling she always seemed to get about him spread itself out to every corner of her body, and for one crazy moment where she lost all composure and sanity, an overwhelming desire to kiss him took over absolutely... she would have kissed him surely, but it was already too late. The moment had passed. Kaiba let go of her, and whatever glimpse she had past his eyes into his soul was gone. His face was like an impenetrable wall of thick ice guarding all of his human feelings, and it was there that she declared to herself that she hated that jerk, absolutely hated him!

And another....

Kaiba stared straight at Mokuba, who was by Noah Kaiba's side with his eyes blank, mindlessly cheering on the green-haired boy in the duel. And then, all trace of strength washed away from his stance and his facial expression, leaving Seto looking like a tired, lonely little child. Without skipping a beat, he launched himself into a monologue about when he was younger and at one point when he did not know if he had the strength to go on. But it was his brother, it was Mokuba, who gave him that strength. And Seto knew that he could survive this ordeal, because he had to keep on protecting the one person that he held dear to him and who was more important to him than anybody else. He loved Mokuba with all of his heart. And just like that, something snapped inside of the little boy and he was running over to his older brother with a smile on his face and tears of joy running freely down his face. Anzu felt she was nearly going to cry as well, run towards Seto, and shower him with kisses...

And just like that, Anzu came to the stunning realization that she loved Seto Kaiba.

She really, really loved him.

Her heart felt like it was swelling fit to burst, trying to keep everything which she was feeling in check. Her body felt weightless, like a feather about to fly away past the sky and into the cosmos, her mind alit with bright, flashing stars. It was the most incredible feeling of all, realizing just how much she loved Seto.

Honda looked at Anzu. A strange, albeit wonderful sparkle was in her eyes. Her face was glowing like she was basking in full moonlight, her cheeks rosy, a small smile beginning to trace itself on her lips. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought she was an angel.

He laughed a little to himself. His job here was done.

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o o o o o

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ISF: Whew! That was a doozy! It's weird, but it's harder for me to write about Anzu's feeling for Kaiba than it is vice versa. I guess I just relate more to Kaiba's sort of feeling?

I just had to bring in Honda for this chapter! He's my favorite underrated character in the series. He's a fairly smart guy and fights for what he believes in, but he's always getting one-upped by Otogi! (laughs) Don't get me wrong, if I had a heart condition I wouldn't be able to take copious amount of Duke Devlin (he's very pretty. See? He's very pretty. Abridged Series joke, LOL!), but I always root for the underdog.

Until next time. Honda forever!

FIN