June 1999
The two teenage girls occupied the front seat of Regina's car as they trailed behind the Mills parents, trekking their way o the familiar beach house. Regina's hand rested on the gear shirt, Emma's hand resting atop hers comfortably.
They had found a happy medium during the last year, learning when to control themselves in the presence of others and when to let loose behind closed doors. It had taken a bit of time to find the neutral ground. Regina had tried to pass off her love bites as bruises from Emma teaching her basketball and from unsuccessful stunts in cheerleading. Emma had learned how to apply cover up and use make up to better disguise her marks which stood out more against her pale skin. But after a year they had learned how to nip without leaving marks.
This year Regina had posed the thought of her and Emma making the trip in her own car, claiming that she felt old enough to follow the family vehicle. Cora had opposed at first, but after Henry's convincing words she had reluctantly agreed. Regina had also voiced that it would give her parents some alone time to spend with Zelina, Cora's daughter from before she had met Henry. Since her sudden appearance on their doorstep weeks ago, Regina had bonded with her half-sister, but felt like her parents needed more time with her.
"I still can't believe you have a half-sister." Emma said, glancing over at Regina before leaning back and placing her bare feet on the dashboard. "Your mom seems so uptight. I never would've guessed that she dabbled around in some hanky panky before she married your dad."
The olive hand slid out from between the stick shirt and the blonde's hand before shooting out sideways to push Emma playfully against the passenger side door, coffee colored eyes never leaving the road. She did manage to glance over at Emma with a disgusted look on her face, causing the blonde to laugh at her apparent discomfort.
"Emma, that's gross. I don't want to talk about what my mother did before she married my dad."
"Or who she did."
"Emma!"
The blonde laughed again, taking Regina's hand between both of her own and lifting it to place a soft kiss across her knuckles. "I'm sorry, babe. I tease you because I love you."
She suddenly turned silent, the smile falling from her face as her words took a moment to register in her mind. She noticed Regina's other hand tightened its hold on the steering wheel briefly, but her eyes never left the road. Always the perfect driver. Emma swallowed, looking at her with unsure eyes. It wasn't something they had ever said to each other. Her heart began to beat in her chest again as she saw the slow smile spread across Regina's face.
"It's a good thing I love you, too, or this could've been a really awkward car ride."
Emma couldn't help but smirk at that, her hands giving Regina's a small squeeze by way of a silent 'thank you.' "I can't wait until we are alone in that room tonight."
"Oh, I forgot to mention it. Zelina will be sharing the room with us," Regina said, her voice serious and devoid of jokes. Emma's mouth dropped and Regina couldn't hold the act after that, rich laughter pouring from her lips. "I'm just joking, Emma. I can't wait until tonight either. It's really hard to focus on driving when you are right there looking so cute and kissable."
"You think I'm cute?" Emma batted her eyelashes in an overly flirtation manner, making the brunette shake her head and laugh more.
[SQ]
"You think they know about us?" Emma asked lying sprawled out on the bed later that night. Her head hung off the edge of the bed as she watched Regina move about the room, unpacking her things in the inverted vision.
"I don't think so. We are pretty careful about how we act around other people." Regina stilled as she went to put away a shirt.
Emma rolled over so that she was on her stomach, eyes on Regina. "It won't always be like this. We graduate after this year and then we'll be in college and we won't have to hide anymore."
"I love you." Regina said, looking at Emma as she said it. Their eyes were locked a she moved to the bed. Emma pushed herself up onto her knees. Regina cupped her face gently, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. "I have wanted to tell you that for the longest time."
She crawled up onto the bed so that they were kneeling chest to chest, noses gently bumping together as they shifted on the mattress. Emma's hands moved up to rest on Regina's shoulders before they caressed her neck.
"I didn't want to say it to you in case you didn't feel the same way." Emma said with a small laugh.
"Since we took that step today, why don't we take another?"
"You mean…?" Emma let the question fade away as she watched Regina, searching for signs of hesitation. She found none.
"Unless you aren't interested in that sort of thing." Regina said, shrugging one shoulder as if it didn't matter to her.
Emma gave her an amused smile. "Did you really just suggest that we boink and then accuse me of not being interested." She couldn't help but laugh at the notion. "Damn, Regina. There is nothing that I want more in this world."
"Not even a bacon cheeseburger from Granny's?"
"Not even a bacon cheeseburger from Granny's."
Regina bit her bottom lip as she gave Emma a smile. She wanted this. She really wanted this. Her lips met Emma's in a soft kiss before Emma took the upper hand and deepened it, nipping at those full lips she loved so much.
It was an exhilarating thought, one that thrilled Emma, to know what this was finally happening. Her hands moved from the slender neck before her, down to Regina's shoulders, then further down to her hips, playing with the hem of her shirt.
"If you want me to stop at any time, just say the word."
Regina answered by gripping Emma's hips and pulling them against her own, sighing softly as she began to grind against the blonde. The act wasn't unfamiliar to her. Even before she had started her secret relationship with Emma, she had not been a stranger to heavy make outs or wandering hands. Though she would never admit it to her friends out of fear of being regarded as one of 'those' girls, she had gotten acquainted with the male anatomy in a physical way with her last boyfriend before he had transferred schools. She wasn't shy with her body, not in the least. Still, she couldn't stop the blush that crept up her neck and cheeks as Emma pulled the shirt over her head and tossed it on the floor.
"I'm not a virgin," she told Emma, averting her eyes suddenly. Why did she suddenly feel ashamed of the fact? Because Emma is the first person you love she told herself.
"Neither am I." Emma said, gently gripping Regina's chin to redirect her gaze to back in front of her. She gave the brunette a warm smile.
"I've never been with a girl before."
"I know. Don't worry about it. You can't mess it up. Just let me do all the work, okay?"
Regina nodded before Emma kissed her again. It was all teeth, tongue, and lips; hungry. There was a soft moan but neither could claim it as their own. Emma kissed her way down the tanned neck she loved so much, stopping to nip the skin here and there, but always careful not to leave a mark in a visible area. Tonight she would leave marks that could easily be hidden by clothes. But not by bathing suits. She smirked at the realization, her lips now ghosting over the swell of Regina's breast, the modest amount of cleavage being magnified by the push-up bra. Her hands moved around to unclasp the garment, tossing it to the floor after she slid it down Regina's arms.
She pulled back and looked at her girlfriend, her eyes taking in every detail from every inch of flawless olive toned skin to the slight flush spreading across her newly bared chest, up her neck, and onto her face. Her eyes took in the features of the brunette's face, glancing over the scar that adorned her upper lip just to the left. Her thumb came up to caress it with a smile as her green eyes connected with brown ones.
"You're really beautiful." Emma whispered.
Regina flushed a little deeper, if possible, biting her lip again. Emma pushed her to lay back on the bed, her hands going to undo the button on Regina's shorts before bragging them down shapely legs. Regina lifted her hips to help Emma get them off. She gasped as Emma lay down beside her, her hand moving to cup a breast, thumb caressing a dark nipple until it rose to a stiff peak.
"Dear God," she breathed when Emma bent her head and captured the other in her mouth, using her tongue to manipulate this one.
It hadn't been like this last time, Regina mused. No. Emma's hands were soft and caressed her body, worshiping her like she was a piece of artwork whereas Graham's hands had been rough and needy, never taking the time to explore her, to see what she liked. And she was learning that she liked this. She really liked this a lot.
Emma released her with a soft pop before blowing gently on the moisture covered peak, grinning as she watched goose bumps rise along Regina's skin. She placed her lips just about the darkened skin and sucked lightly, nipping at the skin with her teeth. She pulled away, leaving a small mark behind, just high enough that her bikini top wouldn't be able to hide it. She grinned as she moved back up to kiss Regina softly, drawing out their kisses as her hand abandoned its spot at her breast and trailed south, down over the stomach that was toned from hours of cheerleading practice, finger trailing over the edge of her hip bone before running along the edge of her underwear.
"Want me to stop?" she breathed. Regina shook her head. "You know you have to be quiet so we don't get caught, right?" This time Regina nodded.
"Please, Emma. I trust you."
The way her eyes bore into Emma's, she knew. She caught her lips in a languid kiss once more as her hand disappeared behind the fabric of the only cloth left adorning Regina's body as was greeted with a groan against her lips as her fingers slid between slick folds.
"Jesus Christ."
"I prefer being called Emma," the blond smirked. Her lips moved to kiss along Regina's collarbone as the brunette fought the urge to be vocal.
Her fingers moved along the slit, gently brushing against the prominent bundle of nerves at first before focusing on it with slow but firm circles. Regina's hips jerked as small zings of pleasure coursed through her. Emma smiled against flushed skin as she felt Regina twitch against her, her finger moving down to dip at her entrance and gather her wetness on the tip of her finger before going back to circle her most sensitive area.
Regina reached up and let her fingers thread into Emma's hair, tightened and pulling her head away from her neck to be able to see her.
"Emma, please,
she breathed. Panted. Hell, all she knew was that she needed the blonde oh so desperately.
Emma gave her a small smile, their lips meeting as a single finger sank into Regina's warmth. She wallowed the moan that the brunette let out, her back arching as she ground her hips down against Emma's hand.
She let Regina adjust to the feeling, adding a second finger as she pumped steadily when the hand in her hair tugged not so gently and Regina all but growled out her demand for more. She shifted her position against the brunette s that the heel of her hand would brush against Regina's clit just enough to accent each thrust of her fingers.
It could've been seconds, minutes, hours. Heck, it could've been years. Emma didn't know how long they stayed locked in their motions. She could feel Regina's inner walls grip her fingers a bit tighter and she smirked against kiss swollen lips when she curled her fingers just right and was rewarded with a sharp inhale from the brunette.
Regina's breath caught in her throat as her body tensed then jerked unsteadily in Emma's arms as pleasure washed over her. Emma held her close, slowing her fingers to help bring Regina down from her high. As her body calmed down from unsteady jerks to occasional twitched, Regina swallowed and focused on bringing her breathing back to normal. She finally opened her eyes to look at a grinning Emma.
"Emma…. That was…wow." She winced at her poor choice of wording. "That is not how I wanted to say that. There are other more accurate words. I just can't think of them."
"It's okay. I get it." She gave Regina a soft kiss, but pulled back with a questioning expression when Regina didn't respond. "What's wrong?"
"I want to reciprocate," Regina said softly. "I just don't know how to do it."
Emma let out a low chuckle, reaching for Regina's hand and lifting it to kiss her knuckles. "Don't worry about that right now. You'll have plenty of time to learn. Right now, we should get some sleep. It's been a long day."
The two girls changed into their night clothes before snuggling up in bed together, Emma's arm going around Regina as she took up her big spoon position. She placed her lips against Regina's shoulder in a soft kiss.
"I love you, 'Gine."
"I love you, too, Emma."
Regina finally turned to look at Emma. The young girl she had fallen for years ago now sat beside her as a fully matured woman. Her hair was longer, hanging to about the middle of her back. Her choice of attire left her arms bare and Regina could make out the slight bulge of her biceps as she gripped her glass a little tighter. She wanted to reach out and run her fingers along the toned skin but relented.
It wasn't Emma's appearance that finally caught her attention. Instead it had been her words. My son. Emma had a son. She was a mother. Regina couldn't wrap her mind around it.
"You have a son?" she breathed, her mind still not reeling from the shock of her words. She lifted the glass to her lips and finished what was left of it, not noticing the burn as the waited for Emma's reply.
"His name is Henry," she said with an instant smile. If there was one thing Emma had done right in her life, it was Henry. There was nothing that she was more proud of than her son. "He'll be twelve in November."
Regina's mind first focused on his name. Henry. Like her father. She couldn't help but smile at the coincidence. If her father were still around, she was sure he would've taken great pleasure in that fact. Then her mind focused on his age. Twelve years old in November. Nine months before November is February. And Emma had left their college in December. Had Emma sought the comfort of another that soon after they had split? It certainly made sense to Regina, seeing as how Emma hadn't seemed to care that they were in a relationship while she was spending ungodly amounts of time in the dorm room of another girl. She felt her muscles stiffen as she tried to remain neutral.
"That means you would've gotten pregnant not long after you left the university." Regina's voice held a cold edge to it.
Emma had often thought about how a situation such as this would play out. She knew Regina was a smart woman who would be able to quickly put two and two together to get a timeframe for Henry's conception. She just never imagined that they would meet up ever again, let alone at the Rabbit Hole for their reunion.
"Seems like you were indulging in the comforts of the male dorms as well as the female," Regina added before she took a hearty gulp of her fresh drink. When had that been placed in front of her? This woman was going to turn her into an alcoholic before the weekend was over.
"It's not what you think, I swear." Emma said with a sigh. And she waited, because she knew what the next question would be.
"Then by all means, please indulge me on the details of how you cheated on me, left the university, then became pregnant two months later. Because I am just dying to know." There was pure venom in her voice; a tactic Emma knew was in place to disguise the hurt that she was feeling. Oh God, Regina was still hurting over their messy breakup and it Killed Emma, even though Regina was the one who ended everything.
"Can we go somewhere else to talk about this? Somewhere quieter?" Emma asked, feeling intimidated suddenly by the demeanor of which Regina was showing her. "I have a room at the B&B."
Regina knocked back the drink, feeling much like when she was 21 and newly single. The purse of her lips and the look in her eye startled Emma. Who was this woman? Because she certainly wasn't the same person she had been twelve years ago. She was changed. Changed from heartbreak, Emma realized, and it was all her fault, even if she hadn't done anything wrong. She was still lost in her thoughts when Regina spoke again.
"Got any alcohol in that room of yours? I feel like I'm going to need it."
"You know I always come prepared."
[SQ]
Twenty minutes later, the two women found themselves in Emma's room. They sat across from each other, the small table housing two shot glasses and the quickly diminishing bottle of liquor separating them. Regina knocked back her fourth shot. Or was it fifth? She set the glass down on the table, not even flinching at the burn of the alcohol anymore.
"Talk."
"I never cheated on you." Emma began, to which Regina scoffed at with a roll of her eyes. Emma pushed forward anyways. "I don't know what you saw or what you heard, but I never cheated on you."
"You never tried to defend yourself back then."
"You never gave me the chance!" Emma stood abruptly, looking down at Regina before she began pacing. "Every time I tried to talk to you, to explain myself, you always went the opposite way. I wasn't stupid. I knew you didn't want me around. That's why I transferred out of there to another school after finals."
Regina watched her, eyes following Emma's movements to the left then to the right and back to the left again. "Then go ahead. I'm giving you the chance now." She leaned forward, and instead of pouring herself another shot, she grabbed the bottle and brought it to her lips, eyes still on Emma as she drank.
Emma took a breath before beginning. "I was helping Ruby study. She was having trouble in her political science class, which she only took because your friend, Kathryn, was in it. Ruby didn't know how to approach her, though, and had asked for my help with that, too."
"I saw you kiss her." Regina said, her voice sounding a bit strained. Whether it was from trying to keep her emotions in check or to not let her words slur, Emma didn't know. Probably both.
"On the cheek. I kissed her on the cheek. How many times had you done the exact same thing with Kathryn?" she asked, anger suddenly washing over her. "You ended our relationship because you thought I was cheating when I was just helping a friend in need. How could you even think that when I only had eyes for you?"
Regina was silent as she brought the bottle back to her lips again. Before she could take a drink, Emma snatched the bottle from her hand and gulped the last bit down. It was her turn to drink while the brunette thought of a good enough reply.
Maybe Emma was telling the truth. Maybe she hadn't been cheating. Regina had no physical proof that the two women had fallen into bed together. All she had to go on was the sight of Ruby whispered into Emma's ear from across the courtyard. She remembered the way Emma had smiled before turning to hug Ruby, who had hugged her back excitedly. Then Emma had told her something before giving her a kiss on the cheek. Ruby had told Emma something in return before walking away. Then Emma had begun to walk towards her, radiant smile falling as she got closer and noticed Regina's angry and hurt expression.
She sighed as she focused on the here and now. "That doesn't explain your son," she finally said.
Emma set the glass bottle down on the wooden table with a sharp tink. "I'm not ready to talk about Henry. Not until we finish with the illusion you believed about me cheating. That had hurt, Regina. To see the instant rejection in your eyes. To see the one thing you told me I would never have to worry about with you. But then you slapped me, told me we were finished, and walked away. And right there, I had never felt so alone in my life."
Regina felt the sting of guilt pass through her chest. Emma was right. She had promised the blonde that she would never be rejected. And Regina had gone back on her word when she hadn't let Emma explain her actions. She turned away from her, choosing to go stand by the window and peer out at the town instead.
"I didn't know, Emma. All I knew was that you kept canceling plans, never telling me exactly what you were doing instead." Her arms moved to wrap themselves around her stomach. "The break up may have been my fault. I'll accept that, and I'm sorry for it. But you were being secretive and it just pushed all kinds of doubts in my mind. Like, why would you want to stay with me when there was a whole university of beautiful women to pursue?"
Emma had moved closer while Regina was talking, her eyes taking in the guilty expression, the apology in her eyes, the way she wrapped her arms around herself as if that would protect her from the situation. Regina tilted her head to the side and rested her forehead against the cool glass of the window.
"I didn't want anyone else." Emma's hand reached out to caress Regina's cheek as she spoke. When the brunette lifted her head to look at Emma, the blonde brought up her other hand to cup the other cheek. "I still don't want anyone else."
Her thumb brushed along Regina's cheekbone as she leaned forward, their lips brushing. She took a half second to see if Regina would protest. When she wasn't met with one, she brought their lips together a second time. It was soft. It was sweet. It was soon turning deep with years of pent up emotion.
Regina felt herself being pushed back, protesting with a groan as her back collided suddenly with the wall. Her hands moved to Emma's hips, sliding up her sides to claw at her back and shoulders. She felt teeth nip at her bottom lip, giving a gentle tug before Emma's lips were claiming hers all over again.
But this was wrong. What was it Emma had said? I still don't want anyone else. How could she say that after everything. Though she wanted to stay lost in Emma's kiss and embrace, she planted her hands against Emma's chest and pushed the blonde away. They stared at each other, panting heavily.
Emma's eyes widened as she reached for Regina. "'Gina, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…."
Regina cut her off with a raised hand. "I'm just going to leave." She moved towards the door, trying to keep her emotions in check.
"Regina-."
"Goodnight, Emma."
The door closed with a soft click behind her, leaving Emma to wander how many steps backwards that stunt had caused them.