Here it is! And it's a BIG one! Well worth the wait, if you ask me! Please enjoy our efforts! ^ ^
Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me
Warning! Turtlecest! LeoxDon
Disclaimer! Own tmnt, we do not.
The entire fourth month after Leo's accident, things were pretty hostile between us. And to think, we were just a couple of weeks away from the big event! At least my hands were fully healed now.
Everyone we knew noticed our drastic change in behavior; we didn't talk to each other, we didn't stay in the same room together, and we didn't team up on our missions, training, or anything that would involve just the two of us.
It was fine at first. Well, not fine, but bearable. At least this way he would never know about my attraction to him. But somehow, that knowledge didn't make me feel good. He was my brother after all. And whether I was attracted to him or not, I had to apologize for giving him the cold shoulder so that we could be friends again. For Raph and Mikey's sake. They don't deserve this.
And speaking of the wedding, I couldn't believe the little prankster chose me as his maid of honor! I so wanted to clean the floor with his face when he told me that, but… how could I say no to those puppy eyes of his? *Sigh* I hate when he uses the adorable little brother 'puppy eyes' card against me! It always works, and he knows it.
Ok, so now I'm Mikey's maid of honor. 'No big deal,' I thought at the time. But then he told me who was going to be the best man, and I wanted to die the moment he announced the name: Leonardo.
My face went white. Or pale green? Who cares? The point is that Mikey noticed (how couldn't he?), and asked me what was wrong with me, forcing me to lie again. God, I'm turning into Pinocchio's clone!
Anyway, I thought I should try to communicate with Leo at dinnertime since Mikey asked us, no: pleaded with us to have dinner together as a family again. What better opportunity?
Oh! That's right. Leo and I have only been having dinner if the other person wasn't in the room. Raph and Mikey got sick of it, so Raph convinced Leo and Mikey convinced me.
I must say, that was the most silent dinner I've ever had in my life. The silence was only broken by the occasional sounds of spoons on porcelain and some random chitchat between Raph and Mikey. Small talk. I could tell they felt awkward too.
Finally, I just couldn't stand it anymore at that table. So I got up.
"May I be excused, please?" I asked as politely as I could manage. But to my surprise, another voice echoed my own! Yep, Leo's voice.
"Dudes, you even hadn't finished your food!" Mikey said, pointing at the half-filled plates with his fork sadly.
"I have some important work to do in my lab, Mikey," I said as nicely as I could. I didn't want him to feel hurt. That was the best apology I could give in this state.
"Yeah, like ignoring me," Leo muttered. Oh great! Here we go again!
"I wasn't talking to you, Leonardo." Shell, I used his full name! Havewe really grown that apart?
"Nor I to you, Donatello," Leo mimicked. Great, now he was doing the same!I swear I could feel Raph and Mikey's confused expressions as they stared at us.
"Then why are you talking to me now?" Please, somebody stop my stupid mouth!
"Forget it. Didn't you say you wanted to leave? Then, do it! Go!" Leo said.
"No, you leave!" I , wasn't this supposed to be Raph's line? When he and Leo fought?
"No, YOU go!" Leo shouted, getting worked up.
"Uh, guys?" Raph interrupted us. Or, attempted rather. Can't blame a guy for trying!
"Fine! I'll leave then!" I said making my way out of the kitchen. I hadn't gone ten feet before-
"Great! Run away and hide yourself again like a coward!" Ouch! That hurt!
Instead of crying like a baby, I felt the anger blurring my thoughts. The anger that I never used to possess was becoming a regular experience. I was beginning to understand all too well how Raph feels when he gets lectured by our Fearless Leader.
"What did you just called me?" I said angrily, stopping in my tracks. I had a feeling that this argument was going to end badly…. very badly.
"Oh! So NOW you're listening to me?" Leo asked smugly.
"That's it, you two! Leo, c'mon buddy; let's talk about this. Mikey, you go with Don," Raph intervened, grabbing Leo's arm and taking him to the dojo.
"Good luck with the thickhead," Leo said to Mikey sarcastically.
"And good luck to you too, Raph, with that dimwit!" SHUT UP, DONATELLO! I'm such an idiot! Why am I saying these things?
"What da shell was with that show in the kitchen, huh?" Raph inquired as he paced in front of Leo in the dojo.
"I'm sorry, Raph. I didn't mean to ruin dinner for you and Mikey," Leo said with hints shame dripping from his voice.
"Forget the numbskull! I wanna know what's goin' on with you and Don!" Raph shot, exasperated.
"How can call Mikey things like that, when you're two weeks away from getting married?" Leo asked with a puzzled face. Why would Raph continue to call his mate such offensive terms?
"We're gettin' off-subject, Leo! This month, you two have been actin' like sworn enemies! I thought that was our thing!" Raph reminded him of the days when they used to fight. Of course, Leo had been so preoccupied with Don, and Raph with Mikey (of course), that they'd settled for a peaceful coexistence.
"Heh! Yeah, kinda weird huh?" Leo chuckled. Raph's serious face made him quiet and drop the smile.
"I ain't laughin', Leo. This is bad. Really bad. Donnie and you were like best friends! How da shell does somethin' like that change?" Raph asked in concern, sitting down beside Leo.
"I'm not sure myself, Raph. If I was, I might've been able to fix it by now. All I know is that ever since I got hurt, Don has been avoiding me like the plague and I don't know why. And… well… we had a really bad argument about a month ago, and the kitchen incident was the first time we've talked to each other since then," Leo explained.
"A month ago? What. Da. Shell! Mikey and I should have paid more attention to you guys! We didn't notice until a week or two ago!" Raph exclaimed.
"Don't blame yourselves for that, Raph. I didn't want you two to stress over it. It has noting to do with you. Last thing you need now is worry to stack on top of the anxiety," Leo said sadly.
"Yeah, yeah. The wedding thing. But you've given us more than enough reasons to be worried," Raph said quietly. Then he remembered something. "Oh yeah, another thing: why'd Don have his hands all bandaged?"
"I'm not sure on the details, but I think he burnt himself on purpose. I caught him in the kitchen. He didn't know I was home," Leo sighed, feeling a strange sadness at what he had said.
"O…k… now that's scary. Don's going emo on us?" Raph asked in surprise.
"No idea. When I asked him about it, he totally ignored me. And that was enough to set me off. I exploded and said… well… very stupid things I regret deeply now," Leo said, sighing heavily as he returned from his memories. "When I get angry, I say things I don' mean. I can't help it."
"So that would explain yer bickerin' in da kitchen. Hmm… I wonder if…"
"What?" Leo cut off his train of thought.
"Well, I noticed his change of mood too. A while ago, actually. I remember I was talkin' to him in his lab and he said sumthin'… but I can't remember it now. Anyway, why don't ya try and talk to him again? Yer the one who's good with words, after all."
"I don't think I want to. I guess… if he wants to hate me forever, for no reason, and he's happy with that… then so am I," Leo stated.
There was no way I'd let Mikey convince me to apologize to Leo! Yeah, even I can be stubborn sometimes. But seriously! Calling me a thickhead? And a coward? Well, I did call him a dimwit, so… I guess I'd have to apologize after all if I wanted a clean conscience.
"Why don't you go and talk to Leo? I'm sure he's sorry and didn't mean what he said!" Mikey said, almost pleading.
"I don't know, Mikey. I mean, I know I need to apologize but… it's been a month, you know? How can I make it up to him after all this time?"
"Well, a sincere 'I'm sorry' would be a nice start…" Mikey said.
"Yeah… I guess you're right, Mikey. Ok, that sounded weird!" No, really. That sounded weird!
"What? I can be wise sometimes!" Mikey smirked at my surprised face.
"Is that so? Or maybe a certain someone has made a big impact on my little brother's life! What do you think?" I said, teasingly poking Mikey's arm.
"Hey! Knock it off or I'll tell Raphie!" Mikey pouted, but laughed at the same time.
"He lets you call him like that now?" Whoa! Dye my headband pink if I'm wrong, but if my memory serves me right, Raph would kill before letting someone call him that by nickname!
"Well, only when nobody is around. Now, go to the dojo and get our best friend and brother back!" Mikey cried cheerfully. Wow. Mikey could give anyone courage.
"Ok… wish me luck!" I sighed, giving a small smile and making my way to the dojo.
Just when I thought things were finally going to be made right… I heard words that stabbed at my heart and extinguished the little ray of hope I had on it.
"…If he wants to hate me foreve,r for no reason, and he's happy with that… then so am I."
I don't remember what happened next but the thing I knew, I found myself locked in my room, crying and sobbing loudly. Thank God my room was soundproof or Mikey would've heard me and tried to comfort me again. I needed to be alone for now…
Why would Leo say such horrible words? I don't hate him! That's why this whole thing started in the first place! Of course, he doesn't know that. But he's right about one thing: I don't have a reason to treat him this way. I know that. And I'm definitely not happy about it!
I'm not happy, Leo! I hate lying to my family, to my friends, to you... to Leo.
Why do you hate me, Leo? Wait, I know the answer: I made you hate me. It's my fault. I lost you; I lost my friend, my brother… my love.
Aww shell! Not again! Even in my suffering, I can't help but think of Leo in that insane way! Get over it, Donatello! You've lost him forever; nothing's going to make him love you… neither in a brotherly way nor the way you're dying to be loved.
"How can ya say that? Of course he's not happy, and ya know that too! Knowin' Donnie, he's as sorry as you are and didn't mean to avoid ya or say what he did." Raph said, almost as naturally as a psychologist. Which was really odd.
"Whoa! Someone's been reading lately," Leo teased.
"Nah, it's just…" Raph rubbed the back of his neck, smirking a little.
"Maybe I should thank Mikey for the positive impact he seems to be having on you," Leo chuckled a little.
"Knock it off, Fearless! Quit stallin' and go talk to da genius. Mikey wouldn't like to see his maid of honor all moody on da wedding," Raph said as he got up and helped Leo do the same.
"Alright, alright! I'll do it. Wish me luck… 'cause I'm so gonna need it," Leo said and left the dojo.
"Go and get 'im, tiger!" Raph encouraged him. Then Mikey appeared with a wide smile.
"So… what happened?" Mikey asked in curiosity.
"Don't know yet. Leo's gonna go talk with Brainiac now" Raph said. Mikey's happy face fell and was replaced with a worried face.
"But I sent him here like a few minutes ago!" Raph raised an eye ridge, confusion clear on his face. "Aww shell!" Mikey sighed heavily.
"Don't worry, they'll be ok," Raph said soothingly, pulling his fiancé into a hug.
"I sure hope so. Do you think we'll have arguments like that once we're married?" Mikey asked, petting Raph's cheek half-lovingly, half-just-to-be-annoying.
"I'll make sure we don't. Nevuh in our lives!" Raph said, smirking.
"Promise?" Mikey asked softly.
"Promise." Raph sealed the promise with a kiss.
The sound of a soft knock on my door woke me from my misery. Only one turtle knocks like that. Shell. What was he doing here?
"Don, I… may I talk to you, please?"
Oh my…! He couldn't see me like this! I didn't want him to think I was weak. But… if I didn't open that door, I would lose my only chance to make things up with him. As long as he still wanted to talk to me, there was still hope. Maybe I hadn't lost him yet!
"Come in," I said with the best voice I could make at the moment, which was still wavering pathetically, much to my dismay. Leo entered; he looked sad and worried.
"Hey," Leo said smiling a little.
"Hey." I gave him a sad smile.
"Donnie I… listen, I… well, the thing is-" Leo stuttered nervously.
"Leo, please. You don't have to apologize. I do. I'm sorry for being a jerk lately, for ignoring you… and hurting you… and calling you a dimwit… and- and-" I apologized, getting interrupted by Leo.
"Ok, ok. I get it already! I'm sorry too. I should've been more tolerant with you. I guess we both were being thickheads, huh?" Leo teased his me.
"Yeah, sort of," I chuckled a little.
"So… you ok now?" Leo asked again, just to confirm the return to normalcy.
"Yeah, how about you?"
"Same. Now, do you want to talk about what's been happening lately?" Leo asked in a friendly ton, sitting beside me on the bed.
"Leo, I… seriously, I don't think…" I mumbled nervously, avoiding his Leo's gaze again.
"If you don't want to, I won't pressure you, ok? Hey, why don't we forget everything that went on these past few months and start all over again, hmm?" Leo asked with a smirk.
"Yeah, great!" I smiled back. Phew! What a relief!
"So… I heard Mikey got you to be his maid of honor?" Leo inquired, chuckling.
"Yeah, thanks for reminding me," I said dryly. "I thought it was only a bad dream… a really bad one," Don sighed heavily.
"Heh heh! Well, that's the cruel truth, little bro… Ouch! Not again!" Leo winced a little and rubbed the back of his neck.
"What?" I asked in concern.
"My neck's… kinda stiff…" I immediately got up and examined Leo's neck, gently probing and finding the area very tense.
"Kinda? Leo, it's totally stiff! Wait a sec; I'll go get the ointment," I said, making my way to the bathroom before he could respond, and returning a matter of seconds later.
"Ok, now relax. You'll feel a little pain and slight coldness, ok?" I warned Leo, gently applying pressure on his neck.
"OUCH! You were right about the pain!" Leo noted at feeling the cold substance spread over his flesh.
"What the shell did you do to hurt your neck like this?" I asked in surprise and concern. Had he been sleeping on his face for a few weeks?
"Training… I guess I overworked myself… again," Leo sighed. This was old news.
"Mhmm, I could have told you that," I muttered as I proceeded with his treatment. Leo started to feel sleepy, yet relaxed under my touch.
"A little to the right, please. Yeah, right there… you know, your massages might just be the new heroin, " Leo teased.
"Is that a compliment?" I chuckled.
"Yeah… maybe… well, it's kinda hard to think right now. Shell, you're good at this!" Leo exclaimed, feeling much more relaxed and melting under my fingers. "You'll need to do this for me more often!"
"Y-yeah… I… I guess. Well, uh…" I stuttered nervously. God! What now? My face is burning and I can't feel my legs! Shell! Ok, relax Donatello. This is only a harmless treatment for your brother's stiff neck! There's nothing strange about… touching… his… n-neck like… t-this. Whoa, why am I feeling so d-dizzy? Where'd Leo go? Aww, shell- I think I'm gonna-!
That was the last thing I remember before my world went black.
Leo was starting to fall asleep in the relaxing massage when he suddenly stopped feeling the touch of the expert hands on his neck.
"We're done?" Leo asked Don.
…
No answer.
…
"Donnie?" Leo asked again, turning back to see an unconscious Donatello lying on the bed behind him. Raph and Mikey were strategically passing by when they noticed the scene.
"What the…?" Raph asked with a puzzled face.
"Whoa! What happened to him?" Mikey asked too.
"N-No idea!" was the only thing Leo could say, truly dumbfounded. He rubbed the back of his neck again. The stiffness was gone! "Hmm… at least my neck feels better now,,,"
"Huh?" Raph and Mikey asked in confusion.
"Never mind, can you guys help me put the genius in bed properly?"
Once Don was situated with his head on the pillow and the blankets covering his body, the guys left the room… all but one.
"Thanks, Donnie. Love you, bro," Leo said before placing a soft kiss on his brother's forehead.
Whoa! What was that? Did Leo just ki…? Aww shell, Don! Don't get your hopes up too much! He always does that when we go to sleep… well ok, not always… but it's just a big brother thing! Don't turn it into something it's not!
Ok, so… I've gotten my brother and friend back and we were a happy family again. Perfect, right?
But… I still wasn't happy yet. And I wouldn't be until I let out all of my bottled feelings… which was definitely not going to happen! He's my brother, darn it!
So why can't I stop thinking of him as something potentially more?
Ok, I need to stop lying to myself. I love him. Yes, I'll admit it: I love Leonardo.
Now, how to let him know that?
Ta da! *takes a bow* Now I know YOU know this was awesome, and now you know I know, so let us know how awesome it was, or we'll KNOW.