A/N: Look at me being all reliable and such! It's Sunday and as promised here is the next chapter of Secret Desires and Nameless Fears. Thank you to everyone who's been leaving me such amazing reviews. I am in complete and utter awe. Oh, and FILO, look... I CAN say ass...

Jewels, I'm running out of ways to express my gratitude to you for all that you do for me. Your comments and praise inspire me and your unwavering patience is my guiding light. I have finally mastered the dialogue tag and that is all due to you! So thank you for your time, thank you for your support, and thank you for helping me to learn something new. *hugs* Just... thank you.

Rejuvenation

Rory was deep in thought as she pulled into the driveway of the Crap Shack. She wandered her way to the front door in a daze, absently waving to Babette as she let herself in. The house was dark and cold as she entered. Rory shivered as she shrugged off her coat and turned the heat up before flopping onto the couch and burrowing under a blanket.

She sat there for almost 20 minutes, staring into space as she reflected on her day. A part of her was still furious with Mitchum for what he'd said to her, but another part of her was grateful. He hadn't been entirely wrong. She could have been more assertive in that meeting. She had been trying so hard to impress him as his assistant, that she had forgotten about demonstrating her chops as a journalist.

Her thoughts shifted and Paris's words echoed through her brain. "No offense, but you've been kind of wimpy lately. I miss the Rory who arrived at Chilton late and managed to be the only competition I truly enjoyed losing to. That Rory wasn't afraid to fight for what she needed. Welcome back, my friend."

Have I really changed that much? Rory wondered. She searched her mind for memories of the past few years and realized that maybe she had changed. Since being with Logan, and maybe even before that, she'd started morphing into a different person, a person she didn't recognize. She'd begun to lose herself and she hadn't even noticed.

Rory was jerked out of her reverie by a loud pounding sound at the front door. She looked at the clock: 11:30. Who on earth would be knocking at this hour? She shuffled to the door, wondering if maybe her mother had lost her keys again.

She swung the door open and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw Logan leaning casually against the door frame, his fist raised as though he were about to pound again.

"Logan. What are you doing here?" Rory frowned, noticing his blood-shot eyes.

"Rory!" Logan smiled and pushed away from the door frame, stumbling as he lost his balance.

Rory reached out her hand to steady him. "Logan? What's going on?"

"I could ask you the same question, Ace." He tried to push past her but fumbled again and ended up on his ass.

Rory sighed and helped him up, leading him over to the couch.

After he was settled, she tried again, "Logan, why are you here?"

"What? I can't visit my girlfriend after she stands me up? What the hell, Rory? I thought you were going to meet me at Honor's party."

"Something came up."

"What? Dinner at your grandparents' house? I thought I told you to blow that off!"

Rory didn't like the way he was speaking to her. "Actually, no, Logan. I was dealing with your father and his 'feedback' and I didn't feel much like partying, so I came home."

Logan looked her in the eye for the first time. "So I heard. Apparently my father loves you now. Gave me his blessing to move forward with our relationship."

Rory did a double take. "What?"

"My father called me this evening. Said something about how you had guts after all and he was sorry for being so negative. Said you were good for me, that the family approves. What the hell did you say to him about me, Rory?" Logan stood up clumsily, using the arm of the couch to support himself.

Rory stood as well, pacing as she ranted, "I didn't say anything about you, Logan. Your father sat me down today and tried to crush me. He told me I didn't "have it", that I wasn't cut out to be a journalist. I was hurt and I was angry and as I was leaving, I lashed out at him and I defended myself. That is all. I was too upset afterward to pretend to put on a happy face and come to Honor's party. It had nothing to do with you."

"Rory --" Logan's face softened and he reached for her.

Rory raised her hand, signalling him to stop. "No, Logan, I'm done. You show up here tonight, drunk, freaking out because your father said he approves of our relationship. Well, you know what that tells me?"

"Rory, I --" He slowly took a step toward her.

She backed up and continued, her volume rising, "It tells me that maybe you aren't ready to have a girlfriend. You panic at the first sign of commitment. It's obviously not you, so why don't I just make it easier on both of us and let you off the hook."

"Come on, Ace, we're good together you and me." He leered forward and tried to kiss her, his hands groping for her breasts.

She slid away just in time, and walked toward the foyer, hoping he would follow. "A relationship is about more than sex, Logan. It's about commitment and effort and compromise. Are you ready for that?"

Logan stalked toward her. "I thought we were having a good time, can't we just keep doing what we're doing?" He tried to kiss her again, and this time he managed to catch her cheek.

She pulled away and moved to open the door. "No, Logan. I think it's pretty obvious that we're not on the same page here at all, and it's time we both admitted that this isn't working."

"How can you say that?" Logan grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into a vigorous kiss as he pressed her back against the door. He ground his hips against hers, one hand sliding under her shirt to grasp her breast as the other fumbled with the button of her jeans. He forced his tongue into her mouth and Rory tried not to gag as she tasted the alcohol on his breath. She struggled against him, attempting to bat his hands away and shove him at the same time. She finally managed to manoeuvre her knee between his legs in a sharp upward motion. Logan cried out in pain and broke the kiss, providing Rory with the opportunity to push him off of her.

She opened the front door, positioning her body behind it so that he wouldn't be able to try anything else. "You should leave now, Logan. That display just erased any doubts I might have had about breaking up with you."

Logan straightened slightly. "God, Rory, I was just trying to --"

"Prove that you don't respect me? Well you did a great job. Now get out."

Logan gave her one last pleading look before slinking out the door and stumbling to the limo that was waiting for him.

As soon as he was clear of the threshold, Rory slammed the door shut and crumpled against it, shaking.

xxxxx

Luke rolled to his side, panting as he caught his breath and his heart rate began to slow. He glanced lovingly at Lorelai as she fought to regain her bearings, and come down from the high he'd given her. When her feet had metaphorically touched the ground again, she snuggled into his arms, her head resting against his chest.

He kissed the top of her head, breathing in the rich, fruity scent that emanated from her hair. She began to plant a series of quick, wet kisses across his chest. She gradually moved higher, trailing kisses up his neck and along his jaw-line before capturing his lips with hers. Lorelai kissed him tenderly, her raw emotions rising to the surface as their tongues melded.

She drew away and nuzzled into the safety of his neck as Luke stroked her hair. He reached out and traced the contours of her left hand, pausing when he reached the engagement ring. It fit her perfectly, just as she fit him. He was still amazed that she had said 'yes'. He'd once thought this moment would never come. And now it was happening; she was going to become his wife. They were headed for forever and his heart soared at the thought.

Lorelai followed Luke's gaze, and she smiled as her eyes came to rest on the ring. "I'm so happy, Luke. I can't wait to tell everyone. I want to stand on the roof top and shout at the top of my lungs: 'I'm engaged to Luke Danes, the love of my life!'"

"Oh, jeez," Luke groaned, imagining the ruckus that would cause.

"Okay, well how else should we tell people? You know the loons in this town will figure it out. Probably better we tell them sooner rather than later."

"It's none of their damn business," he grumbled.

Lorelai giggled. She loved it when Luke was grumpy about the town. "Okay, how about we tell them at the town meeting in two days? That way we can tell everyone at once. I have to tell Sookie first though; she'd never forgive me if I didn't."

Luke groaned. "Fine. At least that way it's over with quickly. We should tell your parents too."

Lorelai winced. "Can't we just tell them after we're married?" Luke gave her a pointed look. "Ugh. Okay, okay. You're right, we should tell them." She had a sudden flashback to the argument she'd had with her mother after she'd announced her engagement to Max. "And we should probably tell them before we tell the town. My mother would never let me hear the end of it if she wasn't one of the first to know."

"We could drive out to Hartford tomorrow," Luke suggested.

Lorelai sighed. "I guess we could. My mother two days in a row. Gah, what did I do to deserve this?" She was silent for several moments as she imagined the fiasco that was sure to occur the next day.

Luke rubbed her back, silently reassuring her that she wasn't alone. "It will be fine, you'll see. Maybe Rory can join us, act as a buffer."

"She has her last exam tomorrow," Lorelai muttered, before looking up at him and brightening. "Rory! I can't wait to tell Rory," she told him giddily.

His hand stilled. "She kind of already knows," he confessed.

"She does?" Lorelai's face fell a little.

"She was so upset when she came into the diner earlier that I wanted to cheer her up. I'd been planning to ask for her blessing anyway." Luke shrugged, hoping she wasn't upset.

Lorelai had relaxed and was beaming again. "You asked for her blessing? Oh, Luke, that is the sweetest thing you could have done. Thank you." She kissed him softly. "Wait. Rory was upset? Why? What happened?" She furrowed her brow in concern.

"She had a run in with Mitchum Huntzberger today, and he said some things that upset her. We talked and I think she felt better afterward. You should probably talk to her too, though. Get the whole story out of her." Luke smoothed her hair, trying to reassure her that her daughter was all right.

Lorelai looked at him, her eyes shining with love. "Thank you, Luke. Thank you for talking to her and cheering her up. I hate it when I can't be there for her when she needs me."

"I know." He hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead.

Lorelai lay silent for several minutes, her hand tracing lazy patterns on his chest as she thought about her daughter. What did Mitchum say? she wondered. Was Rory really okay? What if she needs me right now and I'm not there?"

Luke grasped her hand, stopping her movements. "It's all right with me if you want to go talk to her now. I know you won't be able to sleep until you do."

She shifted positions so she could look at him again. "Luke, are you sure?"

"I'm sure, Lorelai." Luke gave her a quick kiss and brought her to a sitting position. "You won't rest until you've confirmed with your own eyes that Rory is okay. And that means I won't rest either. So I think it's in everyone's best interests' might sound better that you go and check on Rory."

Lorelai flung her arms around his neck. "Oh, Luke, thank you for understanding." She pressed her lips to his and kissed him passionately.

Luke felt himself hardening as she deepened the kiss. Reluctantly, he pulled away, holding her at arms length. "Lorelai," he said in a deep, gravelly voice, "Go to Rory before I change my mind."

Lorelai saw the hunger in his eyes and fought the temptation to dive back into their depths. Her gut told her that Rory needed her right now. Her own desires would have to wait.

Luke watched as Lorelai quickly dressed and gathered her belongings. She returned to the bed to kiss him goodbye and before he knew it, she was gone. Luke sighed and slid off the bed, heading to the bathroom for a cold shower.

xxxxx

Lorelai walked home, floating on a cloud as she drifted through the empty streets and breathed in the crisp, spring air. Though she was worried about Rory, she couldn't seem to prevent her thoughts from flittering back to Luke and their engagement.

Her footsteps were as light as her heart as she padded up the front steps. "Rory?" she called, as she swung the door open.

Lorelai entered the foyer, and closed the door. Her chest tightened with concern when she spotted Rory huddled in the corner next to the door. After dropping her coat on the bench, Lorelai knelt beside her daughter and pulled her into a sideways hug.

"Rory? Talk to me, babe. What happened?" Lorelai ran her fingers through Rory's hair, and was met with silence. "Luke said you talked to him earlier, that Mitchum had upset you."

Rory sniffed, and twisted her head slightly so she could speak. "It's not just that," she managed to say between sobs. "It's Logan. We broke up."

"Oh, hon." Lorelai sank to the floor and held her daughter as she continued to cry.

They sat in the foyer for a long time as Rory wept and Lorelai soothed her with hugs and comforting words. When her tears had finally ceased, Rory pulled away and dried her eyes. "Thanks, Mom."

"Anytime, kiddo." Lorelai brushed away a stay tear. "Why don't you go put on your PJ's, while I get the ice cream and some spoons. We can meet on the couch in 5 minutes and you can tell me all about it."

Rory nodded. "I'd like that," she whispered.

xxxxx

Ten minutes later, they were huddled together on the sofa, a pile of plastic spoons and a large tub of rocky road between them, as Rory filled her mother in on the events of the evening.

"I just can't believe he had the audacity to show up drunk like that and yell at me for missing his sister's party. And then, when he wouldn't leave, and he tried to force himself on me like that? I was actually frightened. I never thought I'd be scared of Logan." Rory shuddered and attempted to push the image from her mind.

Lorelai breathed deeply, trying to quell her own anger at how Logan had treated her daughter. She was grateful that he would no longer be in Rory's life, but her heart ached for her. She hated to see her hurting like this. Deciding it would be best to change the subject, Lorelai said, "Tell me more about what happened with Mitchum."

Rory launched into a long winded rant detailing her conversations with Mitchum, Paris, and Luke. Lorelai found herself smiling as Rory revealed her tirade at Mitchum and her mixed feelings about it. She was proud of Rory for standing up for herself, for standing up to that man. And she was struck by how grown up her daughter was becoming. She wasn't a little girl anymore. No, now she was this strong, independent woman who knew how to rise above a challenge and get herself back on track.

"So I made a list of all the things I need to do to apply for the internship," Rory said. She grabbed a pad from the coffee table and handed it to her mother. "Most of these things I can do this weekend, starting after my exam tomorrow." She pointed to something on the list, and continued, "Then, once everything is gathered, I can mail it, and I shouldn't have any problem meeting the deadline."

"Wow, you've really thought this through," Lorelai teased, not really surprised at all. Rory had always been incredibly organized.

"Yeah, well at first I was discouraged, but I know I can do this. Paris reminded me of the drive I used to have in high school and I think it's time I got some of that back." She set down the note pad and spoke softly, "All of this has made me realize that I haven't really been me lately. It's like...everything...since Dean..." She looked down at her hands. "I think I lost myself."

Lorelai transfered the ice cream to the coffee table and moved closer to Rory. "Aww, hon, of course you're still you. We all change over time; it's part of growing up."

"What if I don't like who I've become?" Rory placed her head on Lorelai's shoulder, and Lorelai brought her arms around to embrace her.

"Then you do what you can to evolve." Lorelai kissed the top of her head. "You can be whoever you want to be, kiddo. I've been telling you that for years."

Rory hugged her mother gratefully then suddenly broke into a shrill squeal. "Oh my God!"

Lorelai jumped about a foot, releasing Rory as she tried to regain some semblance of a normal heart beat. "What?" she asked, concerned.

Rory grabbed her hand and held it up so she could see the ring more closely. "He did it. Luke finally did it. He proposed. You're engaged. Oh my God!"

Lorelai laughed, her heart soaring again as she revelled in Rory's enthusiasm. "Yes, I'm engaged. I can't believe it. And you'll never guess how he did it."

They settled onto the couch again while Lorelai told Rory about the proposal of errors. "So we're going to Hartford to tell my parents tomorrow afternoon." Lorelai made a face and Rory giggled.

"It will be fine, Mom. They'll be happy for you."

Lorelai looked at Rory sceptically. "Have you met Richard and Emily Gilmore?"

"All right so maybe they won't be happy, happy. But I don't think it's going to be quite the disaster you imagine."

"With my parents, you can never be certain. You want to tell them for me? They like you better than me." Lorelai looked at her hopefully.

"Sorry Mom, you have to be the one to tell them."

Lorelai sighed. "I know. I'll feel better once it's over with." She patted Rory's knee and stood up. "Anyway, it's late and we're expected at Luke's for breakfast tomorrow morning before you leave for your exam. We should go to bed."

"Okay. I'm gonna call Lane first, fill her in on tonight." Rory gave her mother a big hug before grabbing the phone and heading to her room. "Good night, Mom. I'm so happy for you and Luke."

"Thanks, kiddo. Sweet dreams." With that, Lorelai trudged up the stairs and slid into bed, wishing she were back in Luke's arms.

TBC

xxxxx