Disclaimer: The names of all World Wrestling Entertainment televised and live programming, talent names, images, likenesses, slogans and wrestling moves and all World Wrestling Entertainment logos are trademarks, which are the exclusive property of World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. © 2008 World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Author's Note: The chapter title refers to two slang terms used in pro wrestling.
A swerve is a sudden change in the direction of a storyline to surprise the fans. It is also when a booker (the person in charge of setting up matches) does everything in their power to convince the fans that something specific is going to happen at a show or someone they're expecting is going to debut (or come back), only to then do something completely different.
A hard turn is when a wrestler becomes a heel (bad guy) or face (good guy) in a sudden surprise plot twist.
Now that you know what the chapter title means, you can expect just about anything (Kat's dream and her middle of the night attack on Layla definitely qualifies as a swerve). Enjoy!
Now… You're a Diva
Chapter 6
Swerves and Hard Turns
Monday, July 28, 2008 – 5 pm – Verizon Center – Washington, D.C.
Mickie had just arrived at the arena for the show that was still two and a half hours away. With her ring gear bag slung over her shoulder and her iPod buds in her ears, she made her way down the hallway toward the women's locker room. As she walked down the hall, she waved to several crew members from both the WWE staff and the Verizon Center, bopping along to her music. As she turned the corner to head down another hallway, she bumped into an old friend. She smiled and took her earbuds out of her ears as she approached the original professor of Thuganomics, John Cena.
"Alexis Laree." Cena teased, referring to her stage name during her time on the independent circuit.
"You really like that name, don't you?" Mickie asked.
"It's hot. Sounds like a porn star name." Cena joked, flashing a playfully smug smile.
"Do I look like a porn star to you?" Mickie asked before thinking better of her question. "Never mind. Don't answer that. I know you too well." Cena simply dropped his head and laughed. "Who's here?"
"A couple of the guys are here; Kane, Noble, Burchill." Cena said.
"Kat here yet?" Mickie asked.
"I haven't seen her. But Layla's been looking for you. She said it's important." Cena said.
"Everything's important with that girl." Mickie said with an eye roll and a grin.
"I thought you liked her." Cena said.
"I do. She's just a diva in the truest sense of the word." Mickie said.
"And your girl Beth isn't?" Cena asked.
"Beth is one of those forces of nature. She's one of those women that is the shit and she knows it." Mickie said.
"You know you're the shit too so don't even go there." Cena said. "No wonder Melina's all up in here." Cena said, waving his hand up and down in front of Mickie's body.
Mickie shook her head. "What are you talking about?"
"I saw you two once in the parking lot and there was no mistaking what was goin' on, if you know what I'm sayin'." Cena said. "And before you ask, I haven't told a soul. Your business is your business."
"You think any of the other guys know?" Mickie asked.
"If nobody's given you any crap about it then I'd say no." Cena said. "Now Kat and Beth, that's another story."
Mickie chuckled. "Trust me. There is nothing going on there. Beth is as straight as an arrow." Mickie said before realizing that not mentioning Kat could be suspicious.
"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear your Freudian slip." Cena said.
"There was no Freudian slip! What are you, a conspiracy theorist now?" Mickie scoffed.
"Now I know why you and Kat are getting so close." Cena said with a raised eyebrow.
"You were really lousy at connect the dots as a child. Weren't you?" Mickie asked. "So now you know that I like women and she likes women, you put two and two together and get six? We're in a program together! Just because you and Batista are in a program and have a bunch of offline conversations, that doesn't mean you're fucking him! Or are you?"
"Now Mick… you know what time it is as far as I'm concerned. You and me have had a little history." Cena said.
Mickie responded by using Cena's signature hand in the face wave against him. "I couldn't see you." She said.
Cena chuckled. "Aww! That's cold. And here I was thinkin' I was still your boy."
"You are. And I hate it when you're right. Except about Kat and me. Nothing is going on. Melina's my girl." Mickie said.
"All right. If you say so." Cena replied.
"You don't believe me…" Mickie said just as Layla turned the corner and walked up to them.
"Just the woman I was looking for." Layla said. "Hey John."
"Layla, when are you gonna let me take you out?" Cena asked.
"Patience is a virtue. Just enjoy chasing the cat for a while." Layla replied with a smirk.
"I'm gonna let you ladies talk about… whatever it is you talk about; mascara, pantyhose, boob jobs, I don't know." Cena said, earning him a playful hard slap on the arm from Mickie. "I always knew you liked it rough." His second response earned him several more slaps causing him to laugh. "I'll see you later." He said before walking away.
"Are you really gonna go out with him?" Mickie asked Layla.
"No. It's much more fun to have him chase me for a while." Layla said.
"So what's up? John told me you were looking for me." Mickie said.
"I have got a serious…" Layla started and then looked around. "Let's go to the locker room." Mickie followed Layla into the locker room where they sat down and Layla finished her thought. "I have got a serious potential Circle member for you to check out."
Mickie began running through the Diva roster in her head. "Who?"
Layla's eyes widened as she leaned forward to whisper despite the face that they were the only two women in the locker room. "Kat."
Mentally, Mickie paused. Kat said she didn't tell anybody. How did Layla?... This I've got to hear. "Kat? Really? I would have never taken her for Circle material. What makes you think she'd be interested?" Mickie was proud of herself for asking that with a straight face knowing what she knew.
"Oh, I don't know. Nothing really. Except for the fact that last night she fucked the shit out of me." Layla said with the same intensity as if she were ordering a hot chocolate from Starbucks.
Mickie's mouth flew open in shock. What the fuck? How did Kat go from not telling anybody to… She must've been drunk. Mickie decided to play things cool and girlfriend-like. "What? What happened?" Mickie asked incredulously.
"Well, I came back from dinner around midnight and she was sound asleep. I went to bed myself. Well around one-thirty, I woke up when I heard her mumbling in her sleep. It sounded at first like she was having a bad dream, but it turned out to be an erotic one, because when I woke her up to see if she was okay, she attacked me. And I mean it was the good kind of attack." Layla said.
Mickie chuckled. "So she got turned on in her dream and took it out on you. Right place at the right time, huh Lay?"
"Here's the part I know you would really be interested in." Layla said before pausing for dramatic effect.
"That part was pretty darned interesting!" Mickie said.
"Yeah, well this should be downright enthralling… Apparently, the people in her dream turning her on were you and Melina." Layla announced.
A Triple H sledgehammer to the gut couldn't have taken the wind out of Mickie any more effectively than Layla's observation just did. She and Melina were the world tag team champions of Kat's erotic fantasies. It was a stunning revelation. It wasn't that Mickie didn't want Kat to be attracted to them. On the contrary, that was exactly what she and Melina wanted. What was stunning was that the news came from an unexpected third party who to Mickie's knowledge became Kat's first WWE conquest. Mickie was mentally reeling. The prevailing thought in her head was how quickly she could get rid of Layla so she could call Melina to give her the news. But she had one lingering question in her mind.
"So… uhh… was she good?" Mickie asked, hoping beyond all hope that the answer she got back was a positive one.
"No. She wasn't good… she was absolutely spectacular!" Layla said. "I would marry her tongue if I could!"
"Wow." Mickie said. "Wow." She repeated.
"She must be initiated now! Now I tell you!" Layla exclaimed.
"Well, with a ringing endorsement like that…" Mickie started before her thought was interrupted by the sound of two women laughing as they entered the locker room. Mickie and Layla looked up to see Kat and Beth walk in with their gym bags over their shoulder. Both Mickie and Layla locked on to Kat practically ignoring Beth's presence. Kat quickly shifted her eyes between the two women, who had stopped in mid-sentence when she and Beth walked in. She knew that she was most likely the topic of their conversation.
"Good afternoon ladies." Kat said in a voice that was part Kat, part Katie Lea.
Mickie, being a master at quick recovery, spoke first. "Hey Kit Kat! Hey Glam!" Mickie said to both Kat and Beth.
"Hi Beth." Layla said. "Hey Kat." She said with a slight drop in her voice that the perceptive Beth picked up on. Before anyone else could say anything, Layla looked at her watch. "Shoot! I have a dot com piece to shoot. I'll see you girls in a bit. Mick, we'll finish this later." Layla stood up and headed for the locker room door, flashing a quick glance Kat's way before walking out.
After Layla left, Mickie stood up and walked over toward Kat and Beth with her cell phone and Bluetooth earpiece in hand. "I'll be back in sec. I have to make a call." Mickie said, walking between Beth and Kat on her way to the door. When she left, Beth turned to Kat with a disbelieving look on her face.
"Do we stink or something? They scattered as soon as we walked in here!" Beth said. "And what the hell did you do to Layla?"
"I didn't do anything to Layla!" Kat scoffed.
"You fucked her, didn't you?" Beth said. Kat turned and walked over to one of the locker stalls. "You did!" Kat busied herself rummaging through her bag. "Strumpet, look at me!" Beth used her personal nickname for Kat that Kat was not terribly fond of. "Strumpet!"
"OKAY! I shagged Layla last night! Are you happy now?" Kat snapped.
"And you didn't tell me, your best friend?" Beth said with playful softness. "You wound me."
"No. I didn't tell you." Kat said with irritation as she rifled through her bag, beginning to haphazardly toss her ring gear out of the bag. "I didn't tell you because if I told you that, I would have had to tell you that the reason I shagged her was because she woke me up from a highly erotic dream where Mickie and Melina were tag teaming me in the ring and I didn't want you to start mercilessly teasing me about it and WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY TIGHTS?" Kat spat in frustration. "Great. Now I have to go back to the fucking hotel."
"So you hooked up with Layla. Big deal. Why are you so upset?" Beth said.
"I told you. I didn't want you teasing me." Kat said in a subdued voice.
"Do I tease you that much?" Beth asked.
"You enjoy getting under my skin." Kat said, her voice still subdued.
"That I do. But this is obviously getting to you, so I won't tease you about it." Beth said. "I may be fabulously bitchy, but I do have a heart." Kat looked at Beth for a second and then nodded. "You want to borrow a pair of my tights? I have an extra pair."
"No thanks. I'm taller than you and your ass is bigger." Kat said, making the word "ass" sound like "ahhss" with her accent.
"Are you saying I have a big ass?" Beth said.
"It's a big, good ass… a good… big ass… I'm going back to the hotel." Kat stammered.
Beth laughed. "I knew you couldn't keep that straight girl crush under control." Kat laughed. Seeing that Kat was in slightly better mood than she was moments earlier and unable to adhere to a complete moratorium on teasing, Beth stepped up until she was almost nose to nose with Kat, making the British beauty lean back slightly. Beth then dropped her voice into a seductive purr. "By the way… what does Layla have that I don't have?" Beth asked and then broke out into her wicked Glamazon grin. She wanted to see Kat's cool demeanor uncharacteristically crack just one more time. What she got in return was a little more than she bargained for.
Kat put her lips next to Beth's ear and whispered. "Layla has…" Kat then purposely began breathing softly out of her mouth, allowing her warm breath to tickle Beth's skin, causing the beautiful blonde to shudder. Beth's smug Glamazon grin suddenly disappeared and was replaced by the pensive look of a woman trying to figure out what she had just gotten herself into. Kat then began softly purring as she continued exhaling softly as she trailed down from Beth's ear to her neck from one side to the other and ending up at Beth's other ear, never touching her along the way. "… absolutely nothing on you." Beth stood perfectly still closed her eyes briefly before blinking them back open. "Remember… you're not the only one that knows how to get under someone's skin. See you when I get back."
Kat then strode out of the locker room, leaving Beth still standing perfectly still, unwilling and perhaps unable to move from her spot. She had meant to unnerve Kat like she had done several times before. Instead, it was Kat that sent Beth's needle jumping. "Okay… Maybe I shouldn't play with her like that anymore." Beth then paused. "Cause if I do, I might not need that beer truck."
Monday, July 28, 2008 – 2:35 pm Pacific time – Melina's condo – Los Angeles, California
Melina is gingerly sitting down on the sofa after a rough therapy session.
"I quit." Melina muttered to herself. "I am never working out again. I am going to sit on my ass and eat empanadas all day." Melina's muttering came to a halt when the phone rang. "I wonder if In-N-Out Burger delivers." She then picked up the phone without looking at the caller ID. "Hello."
"You will never guess what I just found out!" Mickie said.
"They found photographic proof that Bigfoot really exists and it's The Great Khali." Melina joked.
"No. Layla slept with Kat last night!" Mickie announced.
All of the pain Melina was experiencing faded into the background as she shot up bolt straight on the sofa. "WHAT?" Melina exclaimed. "How did you find that out?"
"Layla told me herself! She said, and I quote, 'she fucked the shit out of me'. My jaw hit the floor!" Mickie said.
"I bet it did!" Melina said.
"It gets better." Mickie said. "Layla said that she was having a sexy dream and I will give you two guesses as to which two Divas on the RAW roster were the stars of said dream."
"Uhh… Kelly Kelly and Lillian Garcia." Melina teased.
"EEEENNNNHHHH!" Mickie made a game show buzzer sound. "Wrong answer! It's us!"
"Why did Layla tell you that anyway?" Melina asked.
"The Circle. She thinks Kat belongs in The Circle." Mickie said.
"So what do you want to do now?" Melina asked.
"Turn up the heat… with your permission, of course." Mickie said.
"I'm giving you carte blanche." Melina said.
"I can do anything I want?" Mickie asked.
"As long as I don't get shut out." Melina said.
"You are my one and only. She's just gonna be a fun toy to play with." Mickie said.
"She's nice though. I don't want to hurt her." Melina replied.
"If either one of us thinks for a second that we've crossed the line, we'll stop. Okay?" Mickie offered.
"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" Melina asked sincerely.
"I do. I love you right back." Mickie said softly. "I better go. I've got to get ready for tonight."
"Take your ass whippin' like a real woman, babe." Melina encouraged.
"Kiss my boo-boos and make them better." Mickie asked in a sugary sweet voice.
"I love kissing your boo-boos." Melina purred.
"You know I said boo-boos and not boobs." Mickie teased.
Melina chuckled. "Call me when you get back to the hotel."
"Be sweet."
"You too." Melina then hung up the phone. "Layla and Kat? I think I need a cold shower."
Mickie walked back into the locker room and noticed that Beth was sitting in front of her locker stall in her bra and panties staring into space. In the two plus years she had known Beth, she had never seen her near-catatonic.
"Beth? Earth to Beth! Yoo hoo!" Mickie said, waving her hand in front of Beth's face.
"Wha? Huh?" Beth grunted, snapping out of her trance.
"Is everything all right?" Mickie asked with a half-chuckle. "Where's Kathmandu?" That was one of Mickie's occasional nicknames for Kat.
"She… went back to the hotel. She… forgot her tights." Beth said.
"What's wrong? I've never seen you like this." Mickie said.
Beth still had a far off look on her face but she quickly snapped out of it and slid a smile on. "Nothing. I was just thinking." She replied as she turned her face to Mickie.
"That must've been some heavy thinking to have you wigged out like that. Wanna talk about it?" Mickie offered.
"Mick… I don't even know what to say to myself right now." Beth said with a small voice that was unlike anything she had ever projected in the locker room. Beth dropped her head.
"You can't go out there with your mind all cloudy. Are you sure you don't want to talk?" Mickie asked.
Beth never turned to look at Mickie. She only raised her head. "Have you ever… been looking for something… and it's… been staring you in the face… the whole time?"
Mickie sensed the seriousness of Beth's tone and quickly suppressed the joke she would have normally offered. "Yeah. I have."
To Mickie's complete shock, she saw a single tear fall from Beth's eye. "Have you ever… denied something for so long… that you started believing the lie?" Beth asked.
Mickie paused for a moment and slowly nodded her head. "Yeah."
It was then that Beth turned her face to Mickie's and for the first time, Mickie could see tears welling up in Beth's eyes. "Yeah." Beth replied as she slowly nodded. "I think… I just admitted something to myself… and it scares the hell out of me." Mickie didn't reply. She just let Beth talk. Beth's lip quivered and she dropped her head allowing two crocodile tears to splash harmlessly to the locker room floor. "Mick, if I tell you something, do you promise not to give me any shit about it or tell anyone else?" Beth tearfully asked.
Mickie was still in shock that she was watching the strongest woman in all three Diva locker rooms, physically and emotionally, slowly break down before her very eyes. Mickie had no choice in what her answer would be.
"Of course I won't Beth." Mickie said as she ducked her head to look at Beth.
Beth took a deep breath and turned to face Mickie again. "Mick, I…" Beth's admission was interrupted by the locker room door opening. Kat had returned from the hotel with her tights stuffed down into a plastic hotel laundry bag.
"Did you two miss me?" Kat asked from across the room, oblivious to Beth's emotional state.
Beth glanced up in Kat's direction from under her eyelids and shot out of her chair and thrust her hand into the locker and snatching the towel that hung there. "I'm going to take a shower." Beth blurted out as she dashed around the corner into the shower area.
Both Kat and Mickie took notice of Beth's hasty exit. "What's wrong with her?" Kat asked.
"That time of the month. Emotions flowing. You know how it goes." Mickie said, thinking quickly.
"Well, I'll give her some space." Kat said before pulling her iPod out of her bag. "Love, do you mind if I…" Kat was about to listen to her music and relax before she started getting dressed.
"No. Go ahead. Do your thing. We'll talk before the match." Mickie said.
Kat nodded and smiled before sitting down in front of the locker stall she had picked out and put her iPod buds in as she started to go through her pre-match routines. Mickie walked over to her stall and replayed the last few minutes over in her head. Beth's despondent nature, her statement about admitting something to herself, her insistence that no one is told of her secret and her reaction to Kat's return to the locker room. It was then that the light bulb in Mickie's head came on and the whole picture came into focus.
"I'll be damned." Mickie whispered to herself. "Beth… is in love with Kat."
Swerves and Hard Turns. Do you get it now? The events inside the Verizon Center locker room have changed the complexion of the story. Mickie was hit with surprises from all angles. How does this change her planned ménage-a-trois tryst with Kat? What in the world is going on? Now… You're A Diva rolls on. But first…
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