Finally... here it is. Chapter six! I know it's been ages, but I've been super busy and to reward all your long waiting, Holly is here! Yup, Holly finally gets a mention. Just in case it's unclear... this fic is set in the future, bearing in mind all pre-Time Paradox books... but as I haven't yet read the Time Paradox, this fic disregards it.

A HUGE thank you to ilex-ferox for beta-ing this chapter for me. It's taken a lot of work between the two of us, believe me! So... enjoy!

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Eoin Colfer.

He couldn't help it

He couldn't help it. Still. Even after all this time, after ten long years, he was doing it again.

Thinking of her.

But he simply couldn't help it. Thoughts just seemed to creep up on him. At the tiniest hint, the smallest trigger, a single word, the memories would pounce, reminding him of her. Now, sitting half-dressed at the end of his bed, staring at the overcast sky through the window of his bedroom, he was doing it again.

Ten years ago, Captain Holly Short of the LEP, Section Eight had disappeared. On the 18th of December, she had ceased to exist. That date had been etched into Artemis' brain and hardly a day went by without him being reminded of it.

December: it had been a strange month, both the best and worst of his life. At eighteen, or twenty-one as the rest of the world saw it, Artemis had his first kiss. Her name was Melanie, a fellow student at Trinity College, Dublin. It had been at the winter dance, an event organised by the over eager members of the university 'social club'. A club, Artemis did not hesitate to tell anyone who would listen, that he despised. Artemis hadn't even considered going until Holly talked him into it. She had teased him, telling him he was socially inept and that he should get out more. He and Hollyhad been spending a lot of time together lately.

It had started with Holly being appointed as Artemis' "keeper" as they liked to call it. It had been decided at Section Eight that Artemis should be subjected to monthly check-ups. It was nothing serious, and Artemis took no real offence at it. It was just a routine sweep round the estate, a check through the computers and a couple of questionnaires: just to satisfy the council. Nothing Foaly couldn't secretly do himself from the comfort of his own desk. He'd assigned the job to Holly because of her close relations with the mudboy. Once a month she would knock on the door of Fowl Manor and commence the check-up. Whilst at first she took her job very seriously, after the first few checks Holly became much more relaxed, sitting and chatting to Artemis.

Over the months her visits became more frequent. Foaly found Holly coming up with all sorts of excuses to visit Fowl Manor, and her visa records held more topside passes than any other member of Section Eight. Holly would claim that there was an 'unidentified virus' on Fowl's computer, or an emergency demanding her immediate attention. Foaly humoured the girl, knowing there was no real harm, glad that Holly was finally having a social life… of sorts. And in Foaly's strange little brain he approved of the mudboy.

Holly and Artemis never really did anything productive during her visits. The scans and checks took a matter of minutes, leaving the two to use the remaining visa time to their advantage. Normally, they would sit and chat over a glass of Irish whiskey for Artemis, spring water for Holly. Sometimes Butler would cook, and all four of them, including Juliet, would sit around a table discussing and comparing happenings above and below ground. Juliet appreciated having the female company and always made the most ofHolly's presence. Butler often wondered what life would be like without Holly's visits; much less lively he expected. Of course, Artemis always had to make sure his parents were out, but that wasn't difficult. The Fowl Seniors had a busy social life and were ecstatic the first time Artemis offered to baby-sit the twins. And so Artemis ensuredthat Holly's visits and his parents' excursions always coincided.

There had been a couple of close calls; like the time Holly had to use the mesmer on a sleepy Myles after he had accidentally walked in on her giving Butler the low-down on the latest Fairy technology…

Artemis snapped out of his reverie, staring out of the window at the rain pouring onto the grounds of Fowl Manor. He angrily shook his head. She's not coming back he told himself, running his hand roughly through his hair, messing up the neat strands. Looking back towards the window Artemis wondered why he was in this position… again.

It was Livvy's comment that had done it. She'd called him Fowl. No one did that anymore. Root used to call him that. Foaly and Mulch too.

And of course, Holly.

Artemis allowed himself a single small smile at the memory of her voice, shouting angry remarks at him. He missed that.

Getting up and walking over to his desk, Artemis turned his mind to Olivia. She was good for him. In the couple of months since they'd been 'dating' he'd hardly thought of Holly at all.Before he met her it had been hard, almostimpossible, to get through a day without remembering Holly. But since he'd met Olivia he found he had something else to think about; someone else to focus his attentions on. That wasn't to say he'd stopped thinking of the People completely, but sometimes he had a good day; Holly would be forgotten altogether. Well… never forgotten. Artemis never forgot about her. But sometimes he'd get through a week or so before something small and insignificant would remind him of her and he would withdraw into the deepest recesses of his memories.

Holly's disappearance had been quick and unexpected. That night, the 18th of December, was the last time he saw her. Her hazel and sapphire eyes dry and unblinking, her velvety voice softly telling him she'd visit soon. Her blissful smile and the slight wave of her hand as she flew off into the night, back to Haven. If he'd known then… if he'd known that would be the last time he'd see her for ten whole years, then… even Artemis himself didn't know what he'd do differently.

It had started the week previously. Holly had been on her routine visit and she and Artemis were enjoying an after-dinner drink in the lounge: he with his usual whiskey, she with one of the nettle smoothies she always brought with her. Juliet was putting Myles and Beckett to bed, the Fowl Seniors were out at their annual Yacht Club convention and Butler was washing up the supper dishes in the kitchen. Artemis remembered subtly dropping the 'Christmas Ball' into the conversation; remembered the spilt smoothie on the carpet as Holly snorted, laughing out loud; remembered that all he could do was stare at the growing carpet stain as his face gained a pink tinge.

"It's only a sordid social event. I'm not even attending…"

"What? Fowl, you have to go! It's the social event of the year!" Holly had barely been able to get her words out amid her laughter.

"Nonsense. It's a mere charity event. I donate large sums of money to charities all around the world, I doubt if they'd miss the Forty Euros from one student."

"That's not the point! You're probably the biggest geek in College, you might at least try yourhand at socialising." Holly had managed to stop laughing, but a large grin still remained on her face. Artemis sipped again at his drink.

"Butler wants me to go."

"He's absolutely right! Come on, Fowl. You can get all dressed up, have a drink, dance with girls…"

"No."

Holly had laughed again. "You're eighteen for Frond's sake! Your hormones must be going wild. You can't tell me an eighteen year old mudboy who has never been kissed doesn't want to go to -"

"Who says I've never been kissed!" Artemis remembered trying to look offended instead of embarrassed, but being met with only a sceptical look from Holly. It was as if her eyes were saying'Purrlease. I know you far too well'

She was right of course. The thought had crossed his mind. Eighteen and never even so much as held hands with a girl. Well, except Holly, but she didn't count. She didn't even register as a girl… not yet at any rate…

"Well, I'll thank you not to pry into my love life nonetheless!" Artemis had poured himself another glass of the Irish Finest as Holly giggled into her own drink.

"Tell you what, Fowl, I'll nab a visa to the surface for next Friday. Then I can help you get ready!" Artemis remembered the artificial light illuminating the elf's silky hair as she tipped her head over the back of the sofa so she could see into the kitchen. "Butler!" she yelled, "We need a plan for next Friday."

Butler had then emerged from the kitchen wearing yellow washing up gloves and an uncharacteristic smile. Artemis remembered thinking that he looked slightly satanic. "Isn't next Friday the Christmas Ball?" Artemis nodded grimly as Butler's grin widened.

"Right, it's settled then. I'll get a surface visa so Juliet and I can sort your clothes out… and your hair." She had looked pointedly at the slicked-back raven locks.

"What's wrong with my hair?"

Artemis remembered Holly rolling her mismatched eyes as Butler chuckled softly. He remembered his face burning and his fists clenching. He remembered feeling very out of his depth, not in his element. He remembered taking out his drunken frustration on his unfortunate manservant. "Shouldn't you be drying dishes?" he snapped.

"Yes sir." Butler then withdrew back into the kitchen, still smiling to himself, leaving Artemis to glare at Holly and her to laugh back at him.

He hadn't really been angry. Well, maybe he had. It was such a long time ago, but the memories still remained as clear as if they'd happened yesterday. Holly had turned the subject back to Artemis' love life, much to his disgust.

"I think we need to find you a date."

"I think you've forgotten who you're talking to." Artemis' last comment was met with a cushion to the face.

"I think you're a socially inept, self acclaimed genius who should get out more."

"Ouch. The words hurt, Holly, they really do." Artemis had thrown both his hands onto his chest in mock pain. He remembered Holly's laugh; the harmonic, soft tinkling laughter that only she made.

Artemis, looking back on it, could tell it was obvious, even if he hadn't known it at the time. Back then she was Holly: a "keeper", a colleague, and a friend. She was never even a 'girl' to him. If anyone had even suggested… well, why would they have?

But nevertheless, all the telltale signs were there. The laughter, the increased time in each other's presence, the occasional arguments, the flirtatious gestures, the way they always found excuses to touch one another even if it was just a playful punch or a ruffle of the hair.

The following Friday had come all too quickly. That bloody Juliet had been acting as Holly's spy, deciding to secretly invite Melanie Lockwood as Artemis' date for the evening. Holly had flitted over to the estate at around five, spending the next two hours fixing his clothes and ruffling up his hair.

"I always hated all this gunk in your hair." Holly had stated, picking up a pot of shiny wax. Artemis, at around the age of fifteen, had taken to slicking his hair back with liberal amounts of the stuff. Juliet had called it his 'Richy Rich' impression. Suffice to say since that evening, since the look on Holly's face as he'd emerged from his walk-in wardrobe, fully suited with soft, clean hair flopping in a fringe on his forehead, Artemis Fowl had never owned another pot of hair wax.

That look was probably the moment it all changed. Holly had been laughing with Juliet, waiting impatiently for Artemis to emerge. "Come on, Fowl! Your date will be here any second, we need to see you looking all spruced!"

"I'm not going," he'd answered. "I look like an idiot!"

"Look, if you don't come out right now, I'm going to come in there and…

Holly had trailed off as Artemis emerged from the wardrobe. The look on her face was that of someone who'd just been given a diamond necklace by someone they'd always assumed hated them. Artemis remembered feeling unsure of himself, as if he'd just emerged naked from the closet. Juliet had laughed and elbowed the elf next to her.

"Well, Holly, what do you think? Doesn't he look… suave?" Holly didn't answer, it was as if she'd glazed over, unable to look at the boy properly, but finding itimpossible to look away. Artemis had merely looked down at his shiny, black shoes.

"I look like an idiot." he remembered saying again. This time Holly had found her voice.

"No you don't, Artemis. You look…" She had trailed off once more. There was an awkward moment as Holly stared at him while he stared back wanting to break the silence, but not knowing what to say.

Juliet, always the mood-killer, had been the first to speak at the sound of the doorbell. "Saved by the bell," she laughed awkwardly, before swallowing loudly and running off down the stairs. The two had stayed standing there, neither breaking the other's gaze, scarcely hearing the chatter below. Eventually Butler had called him downstairs and Artemis had duly obliged.

"Wow, Artemis, you look… amazing." Melanie had said all the right things. She was introduced to Butler, Juliet and Artemis' cousin 'Holly'. She gracefully accepted a corsage (arranged by Holly to match Artemis' suit) and a quick drink in the drawing room.

The four humans had sat with their glasses of wine. Juliet and Melanie did most of the talking, Butler offering a comment every now and then. Artemis and Holly had sat in silence, smiling when spoken to, secretly stealing glances at one another. Finally Artemis had stood up, offering his arm to his giggling date. The two had left Fowl Manor, Artemis looking back only once as he got into the limousine to see Holly leaning against the doorframe, smiling sadly.

Melanie had proved an entertaining date, acting as any normal eighteen year old would. She drank, they danced and eventually they kissed. Artemis vaguely remembered photos being taken that night, but he never chased that up. He didn't really remember what music was playing that night, what the room looked like. He no longer even remembered what Melanie looked like, or what she was wearing.

Holly had worn grey tracksuit trousers, a t-shirt and bleach white trainers. Her face was smooth and make-up-less and her hair scruffy and tangled. He had drunk a 1971 Bordeaux whilst they listened to the dulcet tones of Jamie Cullum in the calm cream tones of the drawing room of Fowl Manor.

Funny, the things you remember.

The kiss with 'Mel' hadn't been all that special either. He had requested a dance withMelanie. She had laughed at first. "God,Artemis, you're so… posh!" before launching herself at him during a particularly slow song. Again, Artemis hadn't remembered all that much except that it was… wet. He didn't know tongues could stretch so far. Soon afterwards however, Melanie had run into the girls' bathrooms and Artemis ended his evening by beckoning an amused Butler over and asking to be taken home.

The strangest event of the evening was finding Holly, still sitting in his cream drawing room, downing vast amounts of Irish whiskey at half past one in the morning, Juliet and the twins being upstairs asleep. In answer to the question, "What are you doing here?" she had merely answered, "I don't know"

Artemis sat opposite her, pouring himself a glass of the liquor, against his better judgement, knowing full well by the lightness of his head that he'd had enough to drink. He stared intently at her face. She didn't look at him.

"So how was it?" Holly's voice was a monotone, devoid of emotion.

"Fine," he had replied.

"Did you dance with Meredith?"

"Melanie."

"Whatever."

The silence was stony cold, but as thick as butter, broken only by the ticking of the grandfather clock in the hall. Holly eventually repeated her question.

"Well, did you?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't."

"Fine."

"Great." Holly had downed her glass in one, wincing at the strength. "Frond, I shouldn't have stayed. I need to go. I don't…" She stood up, swaying slightly. Artemis recalled his eighteen year-old self sighing exasperatedly and standing with her.

"Holly, what's wrong?"

"Nothing!" She stumbled forward a step as Artemis reached out to stop her falling. "Don't touch me!" she had yelped loudly as Artemis shushed her.

"Holly, sit down. How much have you had to drink? What are you still doing here?" Artemis ran his hands through his untidy hair, noticing Holly's eyes following his every move. The two stood there in silence for several seconds, though Artemis remembered it feeling a lot, lot longer. Eventually Holly had spoken.

"Do you want me to go?"

"No." He had answered truthfully, not really sure why. He remembered Holly's mismatched eyes boring into his own as he heard his heart thud in his chest. He took a step forward, unsure of what he was doing, or why he was doing it. He remembered the smell of his mother's incense in the room, mixed with Holly's own musky scent; he could feel his palms sweating and his lips tingling. This wasn't how he had felt with Melanie, nothing like this.

But this was Holly. Holly Short. The same Holly who had saved his life, the same Holly whose life he had saved, the same Holly whose eye moved in his own socket. His best friend, a Fairy. He didn't understand the mixture of feelings running through his head, but he knew he'd never felt them before. He wanted to touch her, feel her skin against his, run his hands through her cropped hair and rub his nose along her cheeks. And most of all he realised that this was how he had felt for a long time, but never recognised it.

"D'arvit." Holly had suddenly stepped away. "D'arvit. Frond, what am I… d'arvit!" Her hands went to her mouth, then to her forehead, then over her eyes. Artemis stood so close, stepping forward softly and slowly until he was almost touching her. Removing her hands from her eyes he had bent down to press his cold lips to hers. To his surprise she didn't back away, instead she had kissed him back, softly and cautiously, but nevertheless she kissed him back.

Egged on by the drink and her response, Artemis had pulled the elf towards him, kissing harder. Their movements were awkward and clumsy. Roughly pulling at clothes, undoing buttons and zippers, ripping off socks and shoes. Artemis moved with the slow caution of a novice, Holly: the fierce determination of someone who had been out-of-the-game too long.

He remembered falling up the stairs, gasping for breath as they entangled themselves, leaving various items of clothing strewn around the house on their way to the bedroom. They had collapsed onto his four-poster bed, modesty forgotten. Fiercely clutching at one another as if their very existence depended on it…

Artemis shook his head roughly, rubbing at his moist eyes. The memories were always painful, the images so vivid. He had been so happy, so content, so… in love.

Sometimes, at night, Artemis could still hear her husky breath tickling his ears. "I love you." Sometimes, he even replied out loud. When he dreamed of her, he dreamt of a soft "Merry Christmas", a sad smile, and a wave.

And that was it. She had left in the early hours of the morning, collecting her clothes and leaving through the window, flying into the crisp, morning air. Maybe that wasn't even a memory, merely an image conjured up by his imagination, a hope. All he knew was that he woke up alone in his king sized bed, and that it had been devoid of her presence ever since.

She'd said she'd call. She said she'd visit again soon. She'd said she'd straighten everything out when she got back to Haven. She'd said that they'd work it out, and he believed her. When he didn't get a call he worried. Artemis Fowl II was worried, and that didn't happen often.

He tried to call her, but "the number you have dialled is no longer available". Emails were "returned to sender", pages were ignored, and even fairy communicators were signal-less. It was as if Fowl Manor had been cut off from the fairy world altogether.

At first he had just been angry. Angry at her for lying to him, angry at himself for believing it. He spent months taking it out on everyone else, shouting at his parents, snapping at Butler and just being an all-round prick. Poor Melanie became the victim of a particularly nasty "prank" involving some pictures, Photoshop and a 'round robin' email to members of the student body. Needless to say, Melanie transferred to another university weeks later.

Anger soon gave way to worry once more. Artemis began delving deeper into the Fairy world, hacking into the LEP databases, looking for traces of Holly and her recent activities. But there was no record of her anywhere. According to the LEP files, there was no Holly Short. There was no birth certificate for her either. No graduation document, no gym memberships, nothing. She didn't exist. She never had existed.

Artemis spent days locked in his study, coming out only to attend to essential bodily functions. Only Butler was allowed in the room and that was very infrequently. He hacked into every fairy database he could find, trying in vain to contact Foaly, searching sites on the web for 'freak sightings', extra-terrestrial activity, anything that would lead him to Holly.

What followed was another wild goose chase; similar to the one he and Butler had taken part in when he commenced his Fairy research. Unfortunately this one produced no positive results.

"Artemis, I know there's nothing you can't do." Butler had said. "I've never doubted that for a second. But I think what's done here is done. There's nothing more to do. It's not a question of whether you can or can't, there's nothing left to follow up. The People have cut off communications with us and there's nothing left for us to do."

Artemis had merely answered, "I would kidnap another fairy if I had to." It was then that Butler knew his efforts were futile.

After two years, two long years of deceiving the parents, following false trails, three near run-ins with the police and trips to destinations in over forty-three different countries, Artemis stopped looking.

He withdrew into his thoughts and memories, driven mad by the thought that maybe he'd missed something, or was being outwitted. Butler feared for his charge's sanity and begged him to see a counsellor but at twenty, Artemis had finished with it all.

For his twenty-fifth birthday, Artemis' parents gave him Fowl Manor. They bought a large house on the coast to raise Myles and Beckett, taking Juliet, the newly appointed bodyguard of both twins, and left Butler and Artemis to fend for themselves in the manor house. At first Artemis had welcomed the isolation, the silence, the freedom to do whatever he wished with no one else to answer to. But, eventually, that elation gave way to loneliness. A massive, fourteen-bedroomed manor house doesn't offer much by the way of company. During the day he would work, plot, spending all his time and energy working and trying not to think of her; in the evenings he and Butler would talk, like old friends did. Artemis had decided that there was no point in being irrational. He had to continue without The People, without her.

'Maybe that's why I turned to sex' Artemis looked back on all his past 'experiences'. The Fowl boy had quickly learned how to use his quick wit, charm and understated good looks to his advantage. At first it was a retreat. Artemis genuinely believed he could replace the elf with another girl. But the relationship didn't work out. Neither did the next one, or the next, or the next. No relationship lasted more than a week, it seemed no one could fill the gaping hole left by his only true friend.

He still dreamed about her. Sometimes, in the evenings, helet himself brood over her disappearance, when he'd opened the Irish whiskey… Butler had learned that the whiskey was a bad sign. It meant he was thinking of her. But after ten years, the manservant had given up hope of consoling his charge. Artemis was beyond that now. He was over it. He knew that Butler thanked whatever Gods were watching over them, that Artemis hadn't fallen apart. What little Butler knew about psychology told him that children with 'disrupted' childhoods became very unstable characters. While he wouldn't describe Artemis as 'unstable' exactly, he'd certainly had a disrupted childhood. But finally, apart from the extremely active sex-life, it seemed Artemis had returned to normality. And so Butler allowed the little moments with a drink, after all he needed some sort of outlet.

But that comment, that name: "Going somewhere, Fowl?" It had burned Artemis, touched him like a hot poker. It was then he had realised. In some ways Olivia was Holly's opposite, but in others they were so similar. And that worried him. He couldn't be with someone like Holly, not after…

Artemis got up, striding to the bathroom, over to the sink, splashing his face with icy water. Looking into the mirror he stared at his reflection. His wax-less hair, his mismatched eyes, the fact he no longer sneered at every poor passer-by on the street: that was her doing. It was all thanks to her. Artemis grabbed a towel, rubbing it roughly over his face before throwing it onto the floor.

"Enough now," he said to his reflection. "Enough."

So... what did you think? A tad angsty I guess, but I think it works. Would love to hear your thoughts!