Chapter 6 : Being Friends

Some days Haymitch wondered if they simply didn't have the same definition of friends.

On others, he bitterly thought they had never been friends in the first place anyway.

Friends was the easy camaraderie with Chaff. Friends was refusing to accept Mason's bullshit and giving back as good as he got when she was in a mood. Friends was slowly convincing Katniss that she could learn a couple of things from him. Friends was helping Finnick put ropes away and attempting to learn the complicated knots the young man always used. Friends was nodding and pretending to be interested when Annie shyly talked at length about her animals. Friends was play sword-fighting with Glimmer and Marvel at the end of a rehearsal. Friends was helping Rue climb on Thresh's back while the boy was laughing so hard tears came to his eyes. Friends was listening to Prim tell him in a clipped voice about the mother she and Katniss had left behind and sometimes sent money to. Friends was placing a hand on the boy's shoulder when Gale confided about his own mother and his siblings that he had been forced to abandon and to whom he sent all his wages to. Friends was tossing flour at Peeta's head when the kid stated he was helpless in a kitchen.

Friends in short had never been the particular flavor of teasing, fighting and stealing looks that had existed between him and Trinket from the start.

She was polite now but never familiar.

He hadn't realized how tactile she had been until she stopped brushing her hand against his arm every time they crossed path…

More than anything, he missed her easy laughter. Oh, she was still cheerful, particularly around the others, but it was forced and she never seemed to burst out laughing like when Haymitch had first joined in and had cracked poor dry jokes mostly to establish he was just a bitter old man. She had never let him be a bitter old man, she had always tried to coax him out of his shell and…

When he joined a group of conversation she was in, she waited a few minutes, just enough not to be too obvious, and then she left to check on something or other.

She welcomed his input about the circus but it seemed it was all they talked about nowadays. Hiring more men, finding a few musicians, how much profit they had made the previous night…

He often spotted the red glow of her cigarette on the steps of her trailer at night and he had walked that direction during his strolls a few times but every time she saw him, she nodded, wished him a good night and disappeared inside before he could say anything of real importance.

He wasn't sure what he would have said given the chance.

The shift in their behavior hadn't gone unnoticed either. All the kids had become strangely defensive around him, as if unsure they were still allowed to befriend him if Trinket was reluctant to do so…

"What the hell did you do?" Chaff asked one night, after a show in which Trinket had torn her hand out of his as soon as she had taken her bow after his act. An act that could have been far much better now that he knew she could slip out of handcuffs by herself but given that she fled him like the plague there was no rehearsing or putting a plan together.

"Why is everyone assuming it's even my fault?" he grumbled back. His best friend gave him a look and he rolled his eyes. "Fuck off."

"You get she's our boss, yeah?" Chaff retorted. "Don't make the boss look sad, Haymitch. It's bad for business."

And now that he had heard it, he couldn't unhear it.

She did look sad.

Not pissed off or vexed or offended but sad.

He found himself watching her even more now and he knew she had noticed but he couldn't really bring himself to care because she did look sad and, for the first time in forever, he was more worried about someone else's feelings than his own. He didn't have time to feel sorry for himself when her cheerful happy mask fell every time she turned away from the group.

He found himself trying to cheer her up. He cracked more jokes, he made sure Peeta always saved her a piece of pie on the rare days they could afford some pastries – because the boy was in charge of cooking – and he always told her she had done a nice job after a show. She didn't need the pat on the back and he thought it irritated her more than it comforted her. She perceived it to be condescending and he wasn't quite sure how to tell her he was genuine.

He loved watching her fly up there. She was graceful and beautiful and…

He still wished she would keep the safety net in place. Chaff was complaining about the ropes too, he knew, but there was no money to spare at the moment.

Men started showing up at random points on their travels. Some Haymitch knew personally from the Quell Circus and he welcomed them back with a surprising amount of happiness. Others were friends of Chaff, former soldiers recently shipped back home, people who had been deemed too damaged to be sent back to Vietnam, and while his best friend vouched for all of them personally, Haymitch knew some of them made Trinket and the other girls nervous.

It wasn't that they were inappropriate but a soldier's life made you forget how to behave properly for a while and the few of them who weren't blankly staring into nothingness always had more or less suitable easy jokes about pretty women readily on the lips. Trinket parried those with a clever retort that usually was stern enough to remind them who was in charge, Katniss once threatened one to shoot an arrow down a narrow passageway if they ever talked to her or anyone else that way again. The girls could take care of themselves.

Still, both Haymitch and Chaff sat each of the men down and made it very clear the first hint of improper behavior would be severely punished. Trinket was aware and he suspected she resented the macho approach, the not quite claim put over the female artists of the group. If that allowed them to stay safe though, Haymitch didn't mind her quiet simmering anger. They were good men or Chaff wouldn't have hired them but he had been around long enough to know sometimes it was better safe than sorry.

The person he really was glad to see turn up was Greasy Sae though. She showed up one morning at their camp near the Nebraska's border with her old trailer – an old school trailer pulled by horses like most had still been in his childhood – her granddaughter and enough pots and spoons to feed a regiment.

He was hugging the old woman before she had even properly stepped down, eyes closed and breathing the familiar smell that was so similar to what his mother's had been – horses, lemon soap and the faint hint of spices. She laughed and even her laughter was the same as it used to be.

"I heard on the grapevine Haymitch Abernathy was hiring…" she explained once he had put her back down. "Thought maybe you needed a cook, boy."

"Sae!" Chaff exclaimed behind him and the old woman passed into his arms. Then the few men from the old crew gathered and there was more hugging…

The thing was, they didn't need a cook. They had Peeta.

"Please, sweetheart, you won't regret it." he begged – downright begged – Effie as soon as he had extricated himself from the circle of reuniting people and joined her where she was watching with the rest of the troupe.

She dragged him to the side, away from eavesdropping ears. "Haymitch…"

She looked regretful and he knew what she was going to say before she even uttered the words so he waved his hand in the air.

"Take it off my wages." he suggested. "I don't need the money. I've got the trailer and food. I'm fine until you make more benefits. Hell, cut down the alcohol budget even…"

She studied him for a long long time.

"You are aware one could say you are taking over my circus?" she asked casually.

"Just smoothing things out for you." he denied.

And she couldn't deny things were running more smoothly now. She was good with the numbers, the advertising and the motivational speeches but a circus was a big machine and he had experience managing one. It had nothing to do with her being a woman, as she sometimes accused him in defensive and aggravated hints, it had everything to do with the fact she couldn't be much older than twenty-five and that it was her first tour on the roads – not that she had admitted that much, she was tight-lipped about her past but he had pieced it out together a little from what he had gathered from the others.

Her lips were pursed but she glanced at the laughing old woman still passing from arms to arms and she sighed. "What's wrong with the girl?"

He shouldn't have been surprised she had noticed. She had an eye for that sort of things. Sae's granddaughter had grown up since the last time he had seen her but in body only.

"She's not too right in the head." he admitted. "She's… a child up there, you know? But she's a nice girl and she won't cause problems. She helps around. She earns her keep."

She sighed again and he knew he had her right there. She was unable to turn away anyone different in need of help. She liked to put on airs but she was too kind and too generous.

"Fine." she gave in. "On trial."

"Thanks, sweetheart." He was too happy to resist the urge of planting a kiss on her cheek.

It landed a little too close to her mouth and they both froze, looking at each other with far too few distance between them. She cleared her throat and averted her eyes. "You should go tell your friend."

She looked sad again.

He brushed his fingers against her hand, a little hesitant. "Effie…"

"Do not play games." she snapped, snatching her hand away. "Please."

He watched her walk back to the others, noticed the calculating look Finnick was giving him, and he went back to Sae with a smile on his face. "Boss says you can stay."

"Who's that boss?" the old woman asked, glancing behind him at the slowly scattering troupe with curiosity. Chaff helpfully pointed Effie out, which prompted Haymitch to search for her in the crowd… Their eyes met and, again, she turned away first. Sae laughed, catching Haymitch's attention. She patted his chest good-naturally. "What did you get yourself into now, boy?"

If only he knew…

Haymitch is in trouuuubles... Is he starting to realize maybe he likes her a little more than he thought? Now how is he going to fix this? Let me know your thoughts!