Phew, sorry for the late update :) I just haven't had much time to type lately. Anyway, I think this chapter is the longest yet :O I'm so excited! Can you guys guess what Snow's catchphrase could be from the number of times she said it in this chapter? ;) I think it's pretty obvious. I know all this OC and stuff may take some getting used to, but please bear with me and enjoy!
Disclaimer: I (sadly) do not own Shugo Chara.
~Crimrose
Chapter V
Faith
"Time to take out the trash, Hisayuki."
"Yes, ma'am," I nodded to Mrs. Garret, discreetly rolling my eyes when she wasn't looking. My job was to be a server, not the garbage lady. But nonetheless, I hefted up the overflowing black bag of trash and stench without complaint and carried it outside to the large blue bins in the alleyway next to the restaurant.
Thankfully it was too cold for any disgusting or pesky bugs to be darting around the bins, otherwise I probably would've been swarmed. The stench flowing from the many bags hit me like a physical thing, sticking in my nostrils until it became like a taste. I dropped the bag in the pile and began hacking the scent out of my mouth and nose, pulling down the black sleeve of my too-small East Side shirt and covering my nose with it. That just made it shrug further down my shoulder and cling to my chest, and I was thankful I was alone so no one could see its definition.
Or at least I thought I was alone.
As I turned around to start heading back into the bustling restaurant, chattering voices and clanking of dishes heard even from outside, I ran smack into a hard and sturdy body. The scent of rot and maybe death was instantly tided over by the person who I had run into, smelling like fresh soap and something slightly spicy and musky. I backed up and shook my head, covered hand still over my nose.
"I'm sor-" I cut myself off as I realized who I had bumped in to. Then I made a low tut at the base of my throat. "What are you doing here? I don't suppose you'll go away if I just asked."
"Fat chance," Ikuto Tsukiyomi chuckled, a deep rumble in his firm, flat chest. "Hello to you, too."
"I'm working here," I muttered, trying to push around him only to have my way blocked by his chest again. I glared up at him. "What do you want? My eggs aren't with me, anyway." Which wasn't exactly a lie. They weren't directly with me; just sitting inside of my locker in the small changing area near the restaurant's kitchen.
He made a huge show of rolling his electrifying blue eyes slowly, coming back to rest on mine in a wry kind of way. "I need a reason like that to see you?"
I crossed my arms with a huff and tried to make it look like the blush that covered my cheeks was just from the cold. "Of course. I barely even know you."
"But you'd like to," he chuckled again, stepping closer to me. I backed up a step unconsciously and nearly tripped over a garbage bag. He grabbed my hand firmly yet gently and pulled me back up from my backwards flailing, tugging me close to his chest. His head was cocked to the side, examining, curious.
I tried to wrench away, and my horrible strength compared to his- that of a man's- made a grin stretch across his face. "No way. Why are you even doing this? I'm not working with the Guardians to get the Embryo or whatever, if that's what you wanted to know."
Surprise briefly flicked in his intense eyes, but it was gone in a flash. "So you already know that much," he murmured, almost to himself. He slowly let go of my hand, looking somewhere far away that I couldn't see.
"Are we done here?" I demanded, shifting my weight to my right hip and placing an indignant hand on it. "I have work to do or my boss is gonna chew me out."
"Ouch. Why so cold, Snow?"
I couldn't believe he just said that. I stared up at him in blatant shock and horror, asking, "Was that supposed to be funny?"
He took one look at my face, then burst into loud, crowing laughter at my expression. The gesture may have been simple and insulting to someone else, but Ikuto's laughter seemed like a rare and precious treasure compared to his usual stoic expression. It made warm puffs of steam come from his mouth, and I found myself laughing along to its contagious, almost husky sound.
The alleyway was filled with uncanny silence as he stopped quite abruptly and whipped his head up from looking at the ground and laughing, the most incredulous expression on his face, with a wide grin and sky-high raised eyebrows. "What the hell was that?" He demanded, coughing slightly from his sudden mood swing.
I blinked up at him. "What was what?"
"Was that your freaking laugh?"
Automatically at the comment, I gasped and clamed a hand over my mouth. "What's wrong with my laugh?!" I demanded, watching in astonishment as he pressed his lips together to keep more laughter in and squeezed his eyes shut. "What's your problem?!"
"That was the most ridiculous sounding laugh I have ever heard," he gasped, his breath coming in and out in a rushed way. I coloured with shame and looked away, my chest stinging. Maybe Ikuto really was a bad guy, a cruel guy. I had never really thought so, and maybe the Guardian's little issue was making me biased, but suddenly he seemed a lot meaner than he would've if he had made fun of my laugh before I met them.
He saw the look on my face, and shockingly tried to stop laughing. Could he have been sparing my feelings from further ridicule? No, it couldn't be. He didn't really seem like a considerate person, his face always looking permanently unamused and somewhat angry. But now he seemed somewhat regretful, his eyebrows knit together in a frustrated kind of way.
"But it's contagious," he muttered, suddenly unable to catch my gaze. "So back away a bit before I start laughing again."
He had been thinking the same thing about me as I had been him, so with a smile on my face, I stepped back slightly with a wet sounding thud as my shoes smacked against the damp pavement. His eyes flicked up and found mine, and I could feel that my eyes were crinkling in the corners from my grin. Somehow he had known just what to say to make me somewhat melancholy again, and I was sort of… pleased to know that he felt like my laugh would make him laugh again. Weird as it sounded.
His expression was suddenly serious again, his mouth set in a firm line and eyes staring right through me. "Why didn't you join the Guardians, even after I attacked you?"
The dreaded question. I took a deep breath and held it for a moment, considering what to tell him. If he was their enemy and may come after my eggs again, I didn't want to let him into the private little world that was my thoughts, knowing that he may be able to dig up a weakness. The breath came out of me slowly and heavily. "I don't know," I said, as honestly as I could. "I just… I have… I don't know. There's other stuff I have to be doing. And it's not like I asked for these magical little eggs, you know. They just kind of appeared."
"That's what tends to happen," he quipped sarcastically, raising an eyebrow at my glare. "It's not like I care, anyway. I just wanted to know if I had to be watching my back for small people like you coming to pounce on me."
I let out a snort. "Who would want to pounce on you?"
And suddenly the irritating little smirk was back. "I can think of some people."
I pressed my lips together and looked away so I wouldn't laugh again. "Very mature." My voice trailed off as I stared up at the sky. The stars and moon were covered by thick, ominous clouds, the scent being carried through the air meaning it was going to rain. I inhaled deeply, just as Ikuto said matter-of-factly, "It's going to rain."
"You can smell it, too?" I asked without thinking.
He seemed surprised. "Yeah. My senses are kind of heightened, like a cat's. But why can you smell it?"
I shrugged. "I've always been able to. My mom used to tell me that I was better than the weather channel when it came to predictions about the heat and stuff. I guess we're even more alike now, huh?"
His blue eyes blinked slowly in surprise. "You think we're… alike?" He drawled, eyebrows slashing down in confusion- or maybe irritation. "What makes you think that?"
"Well, unlike you, I am not a pervert," I began with a murderous expression, and he had the nerve to waggle his eyebrows. "But… it seems like we're both… I don't know. I'm probably just making assumptions again, but… it seems like the both of us are hiding some idiosyncrasies from everyone else, you know? You get that far-away look in your eyes," I justified, pointing a finger at those two bright and intelligent blue traps. "Like you're always thinking about something more than the current situation. Well, what I've seen of you, anyway. I do that sometimes as well, because…"
I trailed off, lowering my hand so it fell slack to my side. I avoided his gaze and bit my lip. This comparison was probably only on my part, and I was only making him into what I wanted him to be. For some reason, I didn't want a guy like him to be bad, to be my enemy and work for the "evil" Easter Company. He had saved me on two occasions, and something about the way he talks, or the look in his eyes makes me think that there's more to him than a condescending smirk and cat-like façade.
"Because there's a lot for me to think about," I finished, looking back up at him.
His expression was carefully neutral, though it looked like he was breathing a bit harder than before by the rapid rise and fall of his chest. "I don't need someone to try and read me," he said with a flat voice, his eyebrows rising again. "You're overthinking it."
"I tend to do that," I muttered forlornly, a point-blank smile coming to my face as my own eyebrows drew up in mock acceptance.
We stared at each other in silence for a few moments, and I thought that the drop of wetness I suddenly felt on my cheek was the beginning of tears from the way my chest stung and ached from his blatant rejection to my words. But, no, as I confirmed by glancing into the sky and seeing raindrops splatter against the pavement with harsh plops. Ikuto didn't even glance up as he pulled the hood of his sweater over his head again, his face looking perpetually annoyed.
"Listen," he began, his tone somewhat harsh. I turned my gaze back to him, my bangs sticking to my head so much they eclipsed my right eye. His eyes opened again from being closed in concentration, and again I had to take note of how much depth they seemed to hold a world inside of them that only Ikuto could see. One that was probably clouded and dark, from the look on his face.
"I don't know about your circumstances," he began, crossing his arms over his chest, his pale hands a complete contrast against his dark sweater. "Nor do I care." Now I was getting a bit pissed off at his blunt way of putting things. "But you shouldn't let who you believe you are cloud your vision of who you really are, know what I mean? Now that you have proof that there's a wish in your heart, it's up to you whether or not it pushes you forward or backward. But just consider this: the fact that you found about them today, as you are now and no one else… could it have been fate?"
It was kind of hard for me to understand what he meant. But after a few moments of staring at him blankly as the rain began to become heavier and soak through my clothes, I got it. He was somehow managing to smooth out the worries I had been carrying by saying that even if I didn't think myself worthy of dreams, or of great and popular people like the Guardians, maybe this was all meant to happen. Maybe I was meant to join them, to enter their world even if I wasn't a perfect person.
My heart sped up at the new revelation. If I joined them… if I helped the find this 'Embryo' and somehow got to know them better, would I become stronger? Would I find the courage I never had to go and face my past and future? I may have just been overthinking things again, but… I wanted to believe that the person I was now could become better by joining those people on their journey to find themselves, and the wish they hoped to grant.
"Those were the great Ikuto-sama's words of wisdom for the day," the former called out to me from a ways down the alley, almost drowned out by the rhythmic drumming of rain against the nearby homes and pavement. Irritation bubbled in my chest and temples at the haughty way he addressed himself, but before I could snap at him for it like I know I would have, he turned on the heel of his boots and began stalking away. "I'll be seeing you, Snow."
For once, I was going to let go of the informal way he addressed someone he just met a few days ago. Instead of calling him on it, I said, "Wait!" To his retreating figure, almost fuzzed out by the screen of precipitation. He turned back slightly, his expression unseen because of the hood.
I reached into the pocket of my East Side issue apron, pulled out what I wanted to give him, and tossed it so it sailed through the air in a perfect pitch. Despite being turned away from me, he reached his hand up and caught it easily, briefly examining it before turning back to look at me with a bemused expression.
"Thanks for stopping by," I called begrudgingly, my face so red I could've sworn steam was coming off of me from the heat and rain.
Ikuto tore the wrapper off of the sucker that we gave to customers with their bill, a cheap little thing with a screwy version of the Italian flag printed on it, shoved said wrapper into one of his pockets, then shoved the candy in his mouth. After scanning me up and down for a few moments and sucking thoughtfully, leaving me to stand there awkwardly, he took it out of his mouth and licked it once seductively. "Nice shirt, by the way," he cooed.
What? It took me a minute to remember that the shirt was way too small and clung to my chest like a glove, even more so now that it was drenched from the rain. I hurriedly crossed my arms over my chest, my face turned into a snarl, and screamed at his now walking away form, "You're such a freaking lecher!"
His shoulders shook with unheard laughter, and I watched him until the screen of rain obliterated him completely.
And here I thought that he had a shred of decency and thoughtfulness in him. God.
}{
"Whoa, this place is awesome!" Lilith screeched the moment my fumbling hands managed to open the apartment door, flying into the room at Mach speed. My exhausted body stumbled in after her, checking to make sure the door was locked again, and then collapsed on the couch with a weary grunt. I could hear her explosive, maniacal laughter as she swooped and darted throughout the air, earning yet another grunt from me that roughly translated to, "Piss off."
"Aw, come on, Snow," she whined, suddenly right by my ear. I waved her off half-heartedly, my arm so exerted from simply lifting it that it just fell slack to my side again. "I mean, sure, you're manager could be the first world equivalent of a slave driver, and that cat-guy is completely bonkers, but'cha got ME now!"
"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" I asked, my voice muffled from the soft fabric of the couch.
"'Course!" She sang, her voice so high-pitched and small that it reminded me of a mouse when I couldn't see her. "And at least that guy gave you some encouragement, even if he was staring at your boobs while he said it."
Now I actually managed to grumble "piss off".
"Not a chance," she chuckled, and I felt a very light weight rest on my head. "So how about it? Are you gonna try joining the Guardians?"
It took a while for me and my overtired brain to respond, the events that had occurred over the day finally crashing down on me like one big tidal wave. "Maybe I'll try," I finally managed to mutter. "I mean, if they're even willing to still have me after what a bitch I was."
"You weren't a bitch," she responded with a snort. "You've always been oversensitive to the small stuff. Just relax and don't care so much about what other people think, yeah?"
Something she had said caught my attention, making me struggle to maneuver myself into a sitting position. My messy white hair created a curtain around me, the weight that was Lilith coming off my head as I moved. Her form was obscured by my bangs, and she thankfully but uncomfortably picked them up in both small arms and tried to tuck them behind my right ear. I shivered at her unfamiliar touch, so foreign and small it felt like a dream or something. "Even though you were born today," I began, seeing slightly better as she proudly placed her hands on her hips. "Have you always been inside of me, seeing what I saw and feeling what I felt?"
She shrugged somewhat helplessly. "Ever since your mom made those," she spat, floating down slightly to jab at my stomach. She meant my scars. "That was the day when you began wishing for things to be normal, know what I mean? Your life changed so drastically that you began wishing to find who you are so you wouldn't be lost in the dark any more."
"Fat lot of good it did me." I leaned further into the couch until it appeared like it had eaten me. Old memories that I'd rather forget were being dug up, Lilith's words about my past being the shovel. I still remembered that first week I had been admitted into the orphanage, none of my relatives willing to take me in because of my mother's unwanted love for my father. I was like a zombie, not really feeling or seeing anything in front of me. I hadn't eaten, since everything made me feel sick. I hadn't slept, in fear of waking up to see everything changed like what happened after I left home to go to school and came back to find a demon in my mother's body.
Even though none of the kids there had parents, this one child, slightly younger than me and aptly named Mao, had jabbed fun at me because my mom had physically abused me. And so, almost unconsciously, I had abused him until he could barely breathe.
"Snow," one of the caretakers had spoken to me softly as I was sent in my room to repent. "Why did you hit that boy until he couldn't move anymore?"
I had been silent for a long time, my voice so unused that it took a while to summon up. But when I did, it was smooth yet flat, no emotion showing through it.
"Because I wanted to."
Back in the present, I heaved a large sigh as my chest felt like it had been ripped out, so filled with guilt and despair at hurting Mao (who surprisingly became my friend after that even though bruises were purpling around his eyes) that it made me want to wretch. I decided it was time for some good ol' food, the memories of starving for days making me starved again.
"Um…" I asked Lilith tentatively, who was jumping on the buttons of the TV remote. "Do you… you know, need to eat?"
Very abruptly, she stopped jumping and coincidentally changed the channel to a horror flick. It was one of those times in horror movies I hated, when one of the characters was all alone in a dark place with scary music playing and you knew something was going to happen. Just as the high-pitched, skin crawling music increased an octave, she slowly turned around to look at me like she was possessed by the Devil himself.
Before I nearly I screamed myself deaf, she rolled her flaming golden eyes at me. "Unless I want to starve, yeah. I may be what one would call a 'magical creature', but that doesn't mean that I don't have needs."
My eyes flicked from her back up to the flat screen of the TV. That character that was once all alone was lying in a puddle of blood. Eugh, I hoped that wasn't a premonition.
I shook my head, cursing myself for hating horror movies and letting them affect me so easily. Ever since Mao thought it'd be a fabulous idea to show me a bunch of ancient horror flicks on video cassette that we happened to find in some old boxes, I haven't been able to stand them. The flickering lights and lack of colour made him laugh, but they made me bleak and terrified. The phobia has plagued me ever since, just like my sudden dyrexia.
To busy myself away from thinking about stuff like that, about how some of those things may very well exist (after all, magical little eggs do, so why not), I began chopping up some vegetables bought right after school and before work to make a salad, and threw chicken on a frying pan to toss in later. It landed with a grimy sizzle that kind of put me at ease, since it reminded me of all those times I came home from school with my two adopted siblings, Theresa and Nate, to find Mary already at work in the kitchen. My apartment began smelling like home.
Except my home back in New Orleans did not include a very tiny yet very annoying person buzzing around my ears every few seconds. As I fried and I chopped, I wondered what I was going to do with her. Keep her with me always? It didn't seem like a bad idea, since apparently regular people can't see that Shugo Chara. And I couldn't just leave her home alone. From the few hours I had known her, she already seemed rambunctious and irresponsible, someone who did stupid things purely for entertainment. Keeping her by my side was probably my best bet. And, besides, what if Ikuto… or something else… tried to attack me again? I could only use my fists to defend myself, and when battling with magic, that seemed like a very unappealing idea.
Shit, almost cut myself. For a bit, I tried to focus more on my chopping than letting my mind wander and risk losing a finger, but it honestly didn't last long. I dumped the rinsed and chopped vegetables into a salad spinning bowl and began to spin it all around. What about the other two eggs? Would they always buzz around me as well? It's not like I wasn't used to be constantly pestered; I lived in an orphanage for Chrissake. But by little mythological creatures seemed like a bit of a stretch.
As I put the finishing touches into my… our dinner, I wondered what would hatch out of the other eggs. I didn't understand how a missing element of myself was someone like Lilith; I didn't ever recall wishing to be a sadist. But maybe there was something I was missing when analyzing her. Or maybe… I just didn't know myself as well as I thought I did.
After eating everything up and gulping down a tall glass of root beer, Lilith's tiny little serving admittedly adorable, I did all my homework as well as I could with the way I was getting lost in my thoughts. When it came time for bed, I set my alarm for six thirty, and wondered where I was going to put Lilith and the other two. I decided on a little box I used for delicates in my moving, and stuffed it with the softest towels I could find, afraid of what would happened if my eggs actually ended up breaking.
Lilith didn't bother to thank me for putting food in her belly or making her a place to sleep, though I didn't expect her to. I kind of shrugged to myself while pulling on pyjama shorts with Hello Kitty on them and a spaghetti strap tank, then shut off the light on the wall beside my door. It was fairly easy to navigate through my room without the light on, since the balcony right outside shed enough moonlight in to practically light the entire place up. I made sure the door was locked, completely paranoid about everything, then snuggled into my blue and black floral duvet and cover. It had been a long, rough, completely random day, and I was knackered.
Just before I slipped into a comatose state, the way I always slept, I heard a very small and very sleepy "Goodnight" from where the box of eggs was stationed on the computer desk.
The inside of my chest suddenly felt very warm and very high. It was nice having someone to say goodnight to me again, which had stopped by the time I was eight. Maybe having three new housemates that didn't require much maintenance at all wasn't such a bad thing.
I had a new outlook on tomorrow for the first time since I moved here. I was actually excited when wondering what it would bring.
}{
"I want pancakes!"
"Goddammit, Lilith, how many times do I have to tell you that we don't have enough time? Go shove yourself in the mix if you want them so damned badly."
My regret for ever having wished for something began in the morning, when Lilith was screaming in my ear as my alarm went off. I bolted out of bed with flailing arms and accidentally ended up flinging her across the room. But she got up as if nothing happened and continued to annoy the absolute living shit out of me as I got ready. While I had a quick shower, she kept singing 'Toxic' by Brittany Spears horribly off-key, wherever she heard that damned song. Almost immediately after I began worrying if she had access to all of my memories, like every single drop of water I'd seen or something and I wouldn't be able to escape from her.
She demanded I let her use my toothbrush, then she nearly choked on it. She tried to help me braid my hair, and ended up getting all tangled and painfully thrashed about. She threw my house keys at my head as I ate cereal, and thought that the best place to take a bath ever was the instant French vanilla cappuccino I had steaming in a mug. Now she was screaming at me about pancakes, and all I really wanted to do was throw her in the washing machine and sigh if she survived.
I was almost out the door when she screamed at me to wait. I whirled around with the most murderous expression on my face when I saw that she was pointing in the direction of my room, somewhat expectantly.
"What is it?" I asked, pulling on my DMs and tying them hurriedly.
"The other eggs," she stated simply, and it almost sounded like she was accusing me.
Once the leather laces were all tied, I looked at her sardonically. "Am I supposed to drag them around with me wherever I go until they hatch?"
"Yes, jerkass."
"What did you just call me? I wouldn't be insulting the person that feeds you."
"Just get the damn eggs, Snow, and then we can leave."
I stared at her with a sour expression on my face for a few moments, then heaved a heavy sigh. "Fine." I stormed back to my room, carefully scooped up the eggs in a towel and set them gently in my bag, then breezed out again, hardy even waiting for Lilith to catch up.
The elevator was tragically carrying the mother and son from my first night here, the little boy looking up at me with big, curious eyes. I leaned against the wall opposite them and looked away, not wanting to stare at them in the small space. The boy was wearing a small Spongebob backpack, meaning that he too was on his way to school. When I slid my gaze over to him just slightly, reminded of when I was like that with my father, I found him staring at the space Lilith was floating in and my heart fell to my stomach.
"Don't worry," she snorted, waving her tiny hand dismissively. "Children can see us because they have unclouded eyes and are free to imagine and see what they please. They also have their own eggs being born inside, unlike adults, who mostly destroy theirs on their own."
I wanted to ask her about that, but I didn't want the boy's mother to think I was talking to myself. Even if I did have wishes deep inside, I was an adult now. Why did I still give birth to my eggs? Would they even be around for that long? I'd feel pretty damn stupid if I worked in an office in the future and they were all buzzing around and putting weird things on my computer for my coworkers to see.
The image made chills run down my spine. That seemed like the worst thing that could ever happen.
The boy smiled up at Lilith. Being a total and complete idiot, she grinned so largely her eyes closed automatically and waved at him in super speed.
Goddammit Lilith.
We stepped out of the elevator together, and I began digging my iPod out of my black blazer pocket. Lee was in the lobby, picking up mail it looked like, and as I shoved my earbuds in my ears, he smiled and waved at me. I returned it with a grin, my hands busy being shoved in my pockets again. I was left with my music, alone with my thoughts and such at last, and all Lilith did was make a sour face and tuck herself into the V neck of the blazer, her hair nearly blending right in with the red tie.
Not as many people stared at me near the school as on my first day, though I guess that was to be expected. I had been here for a week now, and everyone was calming down about the whole 'new kid' thing. I still didn't have any solid friends to speak of, though that was also to be expected. I had to try harder. I didn't want the only people I had as friends to be the little people that followed me around all the time.
As I walked, I realized that I hadn't really put any thought into what I wanted to do about the Guardians. Would it be worth changing my life to help them find this magic egg? Was I even worthy? Unlike them, all bright, popular, and cheerful, there was always going to be a wall separating me from everyone else. A wall that I create myself without realizing it, and no matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn't break it down anymore. What did I want to do? Did I really want to change?
Almost like a summoning, I heard a familiar, lilting voice call out to me, "Hisayuki-san!"
And so the King returns.
I turned around slowly, the fall breeze stirring the scratchy leaves on the ground and blowing my hair into my face. Normally, I would've brushed it away, but I kind of desired to hide at that moment. I had let Tadase-kun and the other Guardians down yesterday. I didn't want to see what expression he had on right now, positive it would be one of contempt or disappointment.
Even so, I heard his footsteps resounding on the pavement as he reached my side, and I could practically feel him smile at me. "The wind's getting stronger, don't you think?"
I could only nod, unwilling to let him see how much my face clearly expressed my self-loathing.
After walking for a few moments in silence, he took a deep breath beside me as I finally brushed my hair away. He exhaled quickly, a look of determination on his face. "You know, we haven't given up on you yet. All of the Guardians- myself included, of course- think you'd be a great addition. And you're plenty adequate for the position, don't you agree?"
"The fact that you found about them today, as you are now and no one else… could it have been fate?"
Ikuto's words flowed through my mind as I remained silent. Even if he was kind of a jerk, he did have a really nice way of putting things. Maybe the person I was right now was enough to join these people and be useful to them. I hated myself because I didn't believe in that. I hated how I didn't have any confidence. There was no excuse for my being like this, even if both of my parents abandoned me at a young age. I was always getting lost. The only one who could find the right way was me.
"Let me… think about it," I finally told Tadase-kun, looking at him head-on. I didn't want to avert my gaze anymore. I wanted to become someone stronger, a person who people would listen to, rely on, hold in high regard. And maybe that was why my eggs were born now of all times. Even though I had become an adult, I had only begun to face my own desires after coming to this city. That had to mean something.
Tadase-kun's expression was bright; blindingly so. His maroon eyes held a spark within them, almost like a blazing fire. "Really?" He asked, and I just shrugged. "That's great. I know you've been through a lot already, and that you didn't ask for any of this, but… I'd truly be indebted to you if you decided to join us."
"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, waving my hand dismissively. To be honest, I was embarrassed to even be having this conversation right now. I didn't care about him being indebted to me or whatever. I was doing this for myself. And besides… it did seem kind of interesting. A new spice in life I never knew existed.
"Snow-chan!" Called another voice from behind me, female this time, and very high-pitched and girly. I recognized it as a girl from my art class I spoke to since we were seat partners, Weiss… something foreign? Ugh, God forbid I actually remember the full name of a person who spoke to me. Though she seemed like the type of person to speak to less popular people because she pitied them, what with her gorgeous blonde locks always in doll-like ringlets and big gray eyes. From what I'd seen, she was always smiling and laughing with people.
I pointedly looked away from Tadase-kun and put a smile on my face. "Good morning, Weiss-san."
She caught up to us, bundled in a white fall coat and fuzzy blue scarf that seemed to keep blowing on and tickling her chin. "It really got cold all of a sudden," she giggled, wrapping her arms around herself and shivering. I wouldn't know. It only occurred to me now that I had zero cold cover, making me seem highly out of place. If only I could just feel the cold like other people, instead of a weak breeze blowing against me constantly that had no effect. Even so, Weiss-san was still willing to speak and keep idle conversation going, and she didn't even seem to cower in Tadase-kun's presence.
"Good morning, Tadase-kun," she smiled at him, and he returned it. "Got anything special planned for the Guardians today?"
"Well…" he began, looking at me pointedly. I avoided his gaze by scratching the side of my head distractedly. "We're waiting for a new addition, to be honest."
"Whoa, really?!" Weiss-san's expression was one of pure wonder and thrill, surprising me. The Guardians were really that special? Did everyone look up to them like that? "Who?!"
"Well, if they do decide to join us, we'll announce it formally." I couldn't tell if he was being evasive to save me from embarrassment or questioning, or if he really wanted to keep it a secret. I didn't really care, either way, as long as I didn't stick out too much for now. There was already so many new things happening to me; I didn't need to be the center of attention as a new Guardian on top of that.
Weiss-san's lips, painted in a bright pink and sparkly gloss, slipped into a model-like pout. "Can't you tell lil' ol' me? I swear I won't tell another soul."
Tadase-kun actually let out a loud laugh, completely contrary to his gentle image. "Sure you won't, Yota-san." That was her last name. I should've remembered that. "You can wait for the announcement like the rest of the student body. It'll come as a surprise to everyone, that's for certain."
Weiss-san made a noise of irritation deep in her throat. "That's annoying. Oh well. That just adds to the mystery." She quickly stepped in front of Tadase-kun and I, halting our steady pace and causing our gazes to stray to her. She winked a misty gray eye and said, "Maybe I'll end up finding out myself."
Doubtful. I let out a small smile and brushed past both of them, oblivious as to how to carry on a conversation with people like that.
And so began my day of unbelievable cowardice. Nadeshiko-san's gaze was always on me in English class- and I do mean always- and I deftly avoided it. In art, Weiss-san stationed herself beside me and began to rattle off theories as to who she thought the new Guardian would be (all wrong, of course), and I noticed that when she wasn't speaking at the speed of light, her eyes became clouded and distant, her sketchbook filled with idle, almost creepy scribbles of dark rooms and wide eyes.
Because I was so keen on avoiding the Guardians, I actually ended up eating my lunch in a supply closet. At least I had Lilith for company, though all she did was bark at me for being a wimp and avoiding my problems. I shook her off and changed the subject to something that had become an idle tickle at the back of my mind, only ignorable for so long.
"Weiss-san seemed kind of different today," I murmured between bites of my Caesar salad wrap.
"Really?" Lilith asked, taking a very small bite that was almost invisible. "I don't pay much attention to anyone but myself, really." I hadn't noticed. "I feel like you just thought something really rude."
I popped the cap of my water bottle. "No. It's just that… I've always seen her so cheerful and stuff through the week, you know? But now it seems like the air around her is heavier, somehow."
"Well, if it's any consolation, I do feel something dark blooming inside of her." I filled the cap with water and handed it to her. She crossed her small legs on the white-tiled floor that smelled distinctly of disinfectant, took it in her arms, and chugged it down. "Though I guess hatching would be a better word."
My hand froze on the way to bringing the bottle to my lips. My eyes were wide as I flipped my gaze down to Thumbalina. "You couldn't mean that she has one of those things… um… an 'X-egg'?"
Lilith shrugged. "I don't know; I was just born yesterday. But I do feel like that's the case. They come from people with a problem or difficulty in their heart, right? Maybe Weiss' smile is just a complete reflection of how she's feeling on the inside; something that's flipped and the opposite, know what I mean?"
"I never… thought of it like that," I murmured into the dark room, licking Caesar dressing off my fingers.
"You're not the only one in this world with problems." Goddammit, Lilith, you're such a brat. How is it that I want to become someone like you?
"Of course I know that," I said absently, letting my head fall against one of the many wooden shelves that held cleaning materials and… unidentifiable objects. "Everyone alive has a side of themselves that they keep hidden. We all have depth to our eyes, the windows to our soul. It's just… some people's acts and masks are so convincing, that maybe they themselves begin to fall for it." I shrugged, tapping my feet clad in knee-high black socks and red flats against each other. "That's something I know all too well."
Lilith shrugged in return. "Maybe you should ask her about it. You guys look like friends to the unknowing eye."
My heart skipped a beat at the word 'friends'. Did Weiss-san and I really seem that way? Because I really did hope that we could become friends. She was nice, and was just like Tadase-kun in the sense that they both emit a warmth like sunshine. I would be willing to listen to her problems. And maybe… she could listen to mine.
I let my head fall back some more so I was staring at the dark ceiling, which most likely housed some horrifying spiders. I felt like… I was ready for change now, for certain. I wanted to join the Guardians and help them. And maybe find myself along the way. That's what I came here for, anyway. I couldn't run away anymore.
With that in mind, third and fourth period flew past me in a blur of documentaries and baking cupcakes. I wanted the end of the day to hurry up and come so I could visit the Royal Garden, ask to join the Guardians, and cast away my embarrassment as soon as possible. So when the final bell rang, I practically leaped out of my seat and was speeding at the door like a bull tempted with a red cloth. I tried to keep my pace quick as I navigated my way through the halls, passed the bustling students that had no idea what could have possibly been going on with the strange student council of this school. They didn't know why I was in a hurry. They didn't know that my future could've depended on what happened today.
But when I got outside and started to head west (I think), the direction the Royal Guardian might've been in, I saw Weiss-san standing alone under one of the large oak trees, the leaves completely dyed red by the merciless autumn and making her seem much more solemn than usual. She seemed hesitant to move from that place. I froze on the marble steps, torn between two places that meant a lot to me. I could go to the Guardians any day, but now Weiss-san was alone and shaking just a distance away.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was already beside her and gently grabbing at one of her cream-coloured hands with my porcelain one, and her shocked gray eyes raised to meet mine, a few inches above.
"Sorry," I rattled, letting go after realizing that I was being rude by touching he so familiarly. "Um… it may not be my place to say, Weiss-san, but I couldn't help but notice that you seemed slightly different today." I cleared my throat, feeling like my heart had lodged itself in there, and asked, "Is there anything on your mind? Because if there is, I- I find it's always better to tell someone and get it off your chest. I'm willing to listen to anything you have to say, because I…"
My words got caught, my gaze falling to the dying grass at my feet. The students from the academy were already leaving, laughing and chittering in small groups and almost leaving her and I completely alone. "Because I want to be your friend," I finally breathed out, looking her straight in the eyes with my peculiar ones, hoping to convey all the feelings I didn't have the courage to say in one look.
Weiss-san seemed completely shocked at my words, from her wide eyes and slack jaw. But it seemed like I had hit the nail on the head when I thought something was wrong, because her mouth slowly closed into a tight line, and her eyes shone with unshed tears and overwhelming sadness.
"Snow-chan," she sniffed, trying to force a smile on her face. "You're so kind. Even if you think you aren't, there's always these little things I notice about you that make me think that." I was at a loss for words, both of our light hair brushing across our shoulders in the fall breeze. "You smile at people laughing around you, like you're happy for their happiness. Your eyes are really bright and attention-grabbing. I've… always wanted to be someone like you."
Before I could respond, she turned away from me to stare at the street beyond the wrought-iron gate, and her voice was heavy with emotion when she said, "I'm… supposed to get married."
I blinked rapidly many times, my eyebrows slashing down in confusion and shock. Lilith, who had been delicately perching on my shoulder and smugly listening to the conversation, fell off and face-planted on the grass.
"I'm the daughter of a famous company," she explained, and I couldn't help but think it was kind of clichéd. "So, naturally, they want to marry me off as soon as possible so someone can inherit it and we can produce an heir. I've grown up around teachings like that my entire life, but now that the time has come so quickly, I… I don't know what to do. I like someone else, actually, and just try and imagine me getting hitched. I think it's pretty difficult, actually."
"Um…" I couldn't really think of anything to say. There were no words of comfort I could give her, because I was extremely socially awkward, and I didn't properly understand her situation enough to sympathize with her. "Who is it… that you like?"
Even though I couldn't even see her, somehow I knew that she must've been blushing. She seemed like the type of girl to get all dreamy when thinking of love, her doll-like cheeks flushing a girlish shade of pink. "T… Tadase-kun."
Well. Even though I knew he was popular, I didn't exactly picture someone bright and loved by all like Weiss-san to fall for him. Just as Lilith was getting up, her arms gave way beneath her, and she was face-down on the grass again.
"But I can't tell him," she sighed, and it shuddered like her body was in that instant. I felt like I was suddenly looking in a mirror of the past, of the way I used to be when I was by myself and confused about everything. "I can't tell my parents that I don't want to get married when I'm sixteen. I can't even tell myself." She turned to face me again, tears streaming down her face, which was amazingly still that perfect cream colour compared to mine when I cried, which got all red and blotchy. "I'm such a coward. I care too much about what people will think of me. If only I could be brave, like you, and face every day with strong eyes and shoulders."
Her head tilted down as tears plopped into the grass. "But I can't. Because I'm not strong."
I thought nothing could surprise me anymore. After all, I had recently learned that everyone had an egg in their hearts that contained their hopes and dreams. But there I was, standing with my jaw completely slack as a smoky, black mist began to coil up from Weiss-san's small and shaking body, her chest rippling like someone had dropped something in water. That was not normal. And suddenly, an egg emerged from it. Only it wasn't light and dazzling like mine were. It was pitch black and sinister-looking, a single white X bold right in the middle of it. It began to make weird moaning noises, like it was in pain, and Weiss-san's body unabashedly fell to the ground, her blonde ringlets spilling across the green grass like a fallen princess. Her face was a pallid shade, her body sweating, and eyebrows drawn down in pain.
All I could do was stare with puckered lips, like some kind of frozen fish.
"Snow!" Lilith hissed at me, completely recovered from her earlier shock and floating up to smack a small hand on my face. I turned my fish-face to her and she gave me a withering stare while shaking her head. "That's an X-Egg! You heard the Guardians; if it hatches, it'll have a negative effect on the owner. We have to stop it somehow. Weiss already looks like she's in labour or something!"
Astonishingly enough, I almost laughed at how ironic that was. "Well, what am I supposed to do?" I demanded, taking a cautious step back as the egg floated menacingly in place, the dark mist coiling around it. "I've never even seen something like this before! Look at it, I think it's growling at me!" It certainly was making strange grumbling noises, like something really was trying to be… birthed. "What is it going to do? It's not like an egg can just float around attacking people! That's impossi-"
I was cut off by a very harsh and very heavy force hitting me smack in the left cheek, so strong that I was knocked off my feet. The egg floated above me like a predator giving its prey a fleeting glance before it devoured it. It took me a few moments to process that the egg had just fucking attacked me. Okay, so it could do that, and would not be safe to let fly around everywhere.
Before I could even understand what I was doing, I was up on my feet again, and the egg was in my grasp, wriggling and trying to get free. Its surface was smooth and cold, like one right out of the refrigerator, and it squirmed even more when I began squeezing. It was much harder than a normal egg, that was for sure, but the anger broiling up in me from its attack was pumping me with adrenaline, so much I began to hear it cracking.
"Snow, STOP IT!" Lilith screamed, her eyes wide with terror and fright. "If you break someone's egg, it's like physically breaking someone's heart! They will pretty much become dead men walking!"
My body felt so hot, boiling with rage. But even so, Lilith's words slowly began to register in my head, and I flung the egg away before I ended up crushing it. It sailed through the air for a bit, but quickly regained its balance and began flying back in our direction.
"X-eggs are pure evil and negativity," Lilith explained as angry little puffs of breath huffed out of my body, my chest heaving like I had run a marathon. "They don't hesitate to destroy things, like you were about to do because you were so angry. That egg is filled with anger, and we need to stop it."
"How?" I hissed between clenched teeth, watching as the egg darted behind trees to escape my surveying eyes. Luckily there were no students left milling outside, so this place had become a battleground just for us. "I didn't even know they existed until yesterday. How on earth am I supposed to stop it?!"
"Um." She clearly had no idea either, judging from the way her eyes were darting around nervously and she was fidgeting like waiting to hear some big news. "Try… talking to it."
She dodged the fist I had suddenly swung at her just by a hair. "Listen! Maybe if you give that egg some encouragement, it could fix the problem in her heart?"
"That's an awful idea," I hissed, warily putting my fists in front of me like a boxer's defensive stance. "What would I even say to it? It's not like it'd listen anyway."
"Just try!" She screeched, getting frustrated. She began yanking on my hair angrily and she kept swinging around when I tried to swat her away. "Weiss-san is hiding her true feelings inside, and that's where the problem lies. She hates being unable to say what she wants. So encourage her! Tell the egg what it needs to hear!"
I could see its dark form swooping behind the curtain of leaves, like creepy eyes you always fear are watching you in the woods. It looked incredibly eerie against the setting sun, making the sky gleam like fresh blood. Weiss-san's body was now writhing on the ground in what I could only guess was pain, her sparkled mouth wrenching in silent screams. I didn't know what to do; heck, I barely even understood what was happening. But if there was one thing I did know, it was that I couldn't let Weiss-san keep suffering like this when she came to talk to me, when she shared her private troubles with me.
So I swallowed a huge gulp of air and my pride, and screamed at the swooping X-egg: "HEY!" It's oval-like form seemed to pause behind the trees, like it knew I was yelling at it. My thoughts sped through my head, trying to be processed quickly enough so I could say them.
Weiss-san and I… were the same.
There was so many things I wanted to say to so many people. I wanted to tell the kids that made fun of me at the orphanage that inside of my small, scarred body, my heart was completely shattered and the only one who could put the pieces back together was me. I wanted to tell my mother how much she hurt me, how she didn't even have the right to. I wanted to tell the Guardians why I was hesitating to join them, why I was pushing them away. I wanted to tell Ikuto Tsukiyomi that we were probably more alike than he thought. But I couldn't. Because I was afraid.
However. I knew what I had to tell that X-egg- no, what I had to tell Weiss-san. I needed to tell her the words I had always been longing to hear. That there was nothing to be scared of. Because you're the only one who decides whether or not you can be hurt.
"I know," I began, watching with a calculating, sympathetic gaze as the X-egg slowly poked its pointed top out from the tree's leaves. The wind began to howl, making Weiss-san's body collapse into shivers, and I knew I had to make this quick and I couldn't hesitate. My heartbeat was surprisingly calm and sure as my voice let out.
"I know when you're about to tell someone something that you've always wanted to, you feel sick to your stomach, and you feel like it's a bad idea. You leave it be, and you let your negative feelings pile up because you don't want people to judge you for letting them out. It's perfectly normal to be scared of that; it's what humans are. But do you really want to live with the regret? The regret of never having told your parents that you don't want to get married, of never telling that guy that you like him more than anyone? Because if you don't tell them, they will never, ever know. You will just let yourself suffer forever because you're scared.
"But it's not worth it," I continued, my voice raising in octaves as my conviction grew. "It's not worth the pain. It's not worth putting aside all of your feelings and wasting your hard work. Caring about what other people think, fiercely believing that you have no strength, none of that is worth it! Who cares what other people think? If you believe that no one else will believe in you or respect your decisions…" Oh god, I was running out of things to say. I was already stumbling over my words, trying to sort all of my thoughts out and somehow channel what I felt into that X-egg that could very well destroy Weiss-san. Then something clicked in my head with an almost audible snap, and I began moving towards the X-egg almost unconsciously to try and stop it from hurting anyone else. Lilith was whooping behind me like a personal cheerleader, and I pushed down the urge to just step on her. Goddammit Lilith.
"If no one else will believe in you, believe in yourself," I finished, lightly picking up Weiss-san's squirming body and hugging it. She was so warm, and her heartbeat was pounding against my arm painfully. "Because you're always going to be there to face the next day, even if you don't have courage. And you can believe in me. Because I'll listen, and I want to be there for you. I want to be your friend."
Weiss-san was noticeably beginning to squirm a lot less. Could my words have actually gotten through to her, despite the pain her negative feelings overwhelming her brought her? I didn't know. But the X-egg hadn't disappeared; it just kind of stopped moving to float blankly in the sky, almost as if it were staring at me.
I didn't know what to do.
But as soon as I thought that, as soon as I thought I was alone with this and that I'd have to do something drastic, I heard that light, strong, and familiar voice call out, "Hisayuki-san!"
There was only one person who could sound like that, and only one person who called me that.
I swiveled my head around to see the Guardians standing in a line, looking at me with bright, snapping encouragement and belief. Even though this was about Weiss-san, I could feel my chest clench with an unfamiliar feeling of fulfillment, like the lonely gap in my chest had been completely filled with their presence.
"Catch, Hisayuki!" Kukai-kun called out to me with his mischievous grin, and something arced through the air and caught the fading sunlight, casting prisms on the barren and empty school grounds. I caught it automatically, the heavy weight of the Humpty Lock giving me a strange sense of comfort. It shone, its "magic" powers seeming to swirl powerfully inside from the way colours seemed to be shooting out from it everywhere, lighting rainbows of hope on the disappearing day.
My mouth tightened into a thin line, and I gently set Weiss-san down, who began to shiver automatically. "Lilith!" I called, holding my hand out.
Back where I had been originally standing, Lilith's golden eyes brightened like a stoked fire, and a huge grin spread across her face. "Aw, hell yeah!" She exclaimed, flying at me like a menacing flying squirrel. She held her small hand out, and when it touched my palm, a warmth like being enveloped in a large blanket engulfed me.
There was that feeling of being underwater again, the strange slipping and sliding against my bare skin as new clothing formed (and why this happened was a complete mystery to me- kind of like putting on armour for battle, I guessed). My blood was rushing, the adrenaline pumping through my bloodstream again as I felt the wind blowing against cold-proof body, released from that strange place once more and facing the X-egg squarely.
"Character Transformation," I spouted, my mouth working on its own again. "Femme Fatale!"
Not that I knew what to do with myself now, anyway.
"What do I do?" I called back to the Guardians, my bare legs shaking in embarrassment and confusion. I would never be able to get used to the complete outfit change into something so revealing. And I wouldn't be able to understand it, either… though it was admittedly easier to move in.
"Purify the egg!" Nadeshiko-san called to me, Character Changed like the rest of the Guardians. My eyes widened in understanding. They came here to back me up. They came here to tell me that I wasn't alone, that they supported me when I wanted to help someone deal with their X-egg.
"And how do I do that?"
"Like we have any clue!" Yaya-san giggled, waving a baby rattle around like a maniac. "None of us can do it! Just hold it or something, and channel your feelings of wanting to save it into it, know what I mean?"
I really didn't. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at the little menace, but it barely dodged as Kukai-kun suddenly came up behind it in an attempt to catch it with his outstretched hands. As a result of fleeing, it began coming straight for me.
Snow! It was Lilith's little telepathic voice screaming at me again, making me move to cover my ears and realizing it wouldn't do any good. Use the whip!
"What will that do?" I demanded aloud, getting frustrated by standing there doing nothing like an idiot. I Character Transformed in the first place because I knew how much stronger it made me, but I didn't know where to go from here.
Just take it, and lash it so it's wrapped around the egg, she explained urgently. Channel your pure feelings of wanting to help Weiss into it! Since you have me with you, those feelings will manifest into something you could label as purification. It's like using holy water to exorcise a demon, you know? It was probably nothing like that. It so is. Goddammit Lilith.
Nonetheless, I slid a hand beneath the handle of the whip vised around my leg, and snapped it in a high ark, more as a threat than an attack. I felt like my arms were moving automatically again, like this was something I'd done so often before that it comes naturally now. I happened to catch a drifting fall leaf that ended up getting snapped in two.
The X-egg was floating everywhere erratically, looking for an escape despite the four Guardians slowly enclosing it in a small space. It darted upwards towards the sky, and my eyes snapped up to it with the whip in my hand almost lashing out at it as if it was alive. It caught the egg easily, tightening its grip like a snake strangling a mouse. The scaly surface of my weapon really did move like that was the case.
Okay. Now I just had to channel my… feelings. I could do that. I closed my eyes to the point of squeezing and thought of wanting to save Weiss-san. Of wanting things to go alright for her and becoming her strength. Of wanting to become her friend. My entire body felt warmed like stepping into a warm bath on a cold day, though the analogy was lost on me. Somehow, I felt that warmth draining out of me and opened my eyes to see it become a physical thing, a single dart of light shooting up the whip until it reached the egg, encasing it in an ethereal light. It ceased its struggling almost immediately, like it was actually affected by the light shooting into it. Those were my feelings personified.
I was completely mystified. Things like this were really happening. This wasn't a dream. There was such a thing as magic and hope. With those words in mind, I smiled softly at the black egg shell that was slowly fading to gray, and then to a pure white, and said, "I want to save you."
It was like a miniature sun was beaming in the sky for a moment, and when said light faded away, what was left in its place was a white egg with a golden heart in the middle. So that's what a regular egg looked like, versus a character one. It floated gracefully down to Weiss-san as my whip retracted to coil around my leg again, and I didn't mind how strange it felt sliding against my skin. I was too focused on the egg sort of melting back into Weiss-san's chest, making her pained expression soften into one of peace and… bliss. She actually smiled a bit. Maybe it was possible that my feelings transferred from the egg and straight into her, and they were actually giving her some comfort.
"I'll handle cleanup," Kukai-kun said suddenly, breaking the somewhat melancholy silence in the blazing sunset. He hitched Weiss-san's small, skinny arm over his broad shoulder, and turned around to grin widely at me, that warm twinkle shining in his eyes. "Great job, Hisayuki. I couldn't have done it better myself."
I flushed, the emotion shooting through me resembling something like pleasure. I felt my school uniform slide into place as Lilith popped out of my chest like fired from a cannon, and she had this huge smile on her face.
"Aw yeah, we did it!" She screeched, holding out her tiny hand for a mini high-five. I smiled in amusement to myself, thinking that she was completely hopeless as her hand, small and warm, hit my palm, sending a bolt of warmth and comfort straight to my core. Even if I didn't want to believe it, Lilith really was a piece of me. It had only been a day, and even though she was so irritating I wanted to take a fly swatter to her face, I couldn't remember how it felt to be alone anymore. The very fact that she existed meant that there was still hope for me to change and become strong enough to face what was surely ahead of me.
}{
"Have you changed your mind about joining the Guardians?"
I heaved a giant sigh torn straight from my throat and sank further into the white gazebo chair. We had literally just sat down in the Royal Garden, the Guardians dragging me back there as soon as Kukai-kun returned from the infirmary and telling Weiss-san that she had simply collapsed due to stress. I guessed she didn't remember a single thing about a magical egg suddenly emerging from her chest and me yelling at it like a crazy mofo… but what else did I expect. All of this did seem like a fairy tale, after all.
But how to tell the Guardians everything that was on my mind. I wanted to explain why I rejected their offer in the first place to start with a clean state and why I wanted to join them now, but it was hard and embarrassing to force my true feelings out of me. I understood how Weiss-san felt completely. Not to mention that they were all staring at me expectantly, pairs of maroon, gold, orange, and green eyes shining at me honestly.
Just as I was trying to put the right words together in my head, a strange sound cut me off. It was coming from my school bag, and kind of sounded like… cracking.
Uh-oh.
Surely enough, the purple and black lacy egg floated out from the flap of my bad, locking my face into a poker expression. Lilith sat up from her place on the table, chatting with the Guardian's Shugo Chara, and she looked incredibly excited. The egg made those odd cracking noises again, like pop rocks exploding in my mouth, and black fissures were bursting along the sides.
And then the top part popped off, so quickly and forcefully I had to duck for cover. The Guardians' expressions were a mix of surprise and joy as they regarded my new Shugo Chara. It was another girl, one with incredibly porcelain skin like a doll, and a haughty and- quite frankly- bitchy expression. Her hair was long and pitch black, like solidified shadows were spilling over her shoulders in long waves. Her eyes were violet, just like mine, but without the strange icy blue ring surrounding the pupil and matching flecks. With the dress she was wearing, black and white, long, and covered in ruffles and frills, she really did come off as some kind of old Victorian doll. It didn't really help that she was holding an incredibly tiny near-destroyed stuffed black rabbit in her arms like a shield.
"You're annoying me," she spat, right in my poker face. "Just be honest with yourself! Chara Change!"
What the- I got the strangest sensation, like something cool was sliding just beneath my skin and making my mouth and body move on their own. Without my consent, my body stood from my chair so fast that it scraped against the polished floor and fell back, and both of my hands were places sternly on my hips. I felt a strange, hat-like presence on my head, identical to the one my new small, nodding character was wearing.
"Losers like you should just listen up!" I screeched, the real me deep inside watching in horror as the whole scene played out before me like a bad dramedy. "I am not a very honest person, as you can probably tell. And even if I don't say much out loud, my thoughts are a completely different story, got that? I didn't want to join you guys because I've been through some stuff and done some things in my past that made me feel unworthy of being amongst light, popular, and strong people like you. But now I don't feel that way. I will join the Guardians and help you guys out, but I won't do it so you can achieve your lame goals, whatever they are. I'm doing it for myself, and don't you forget it."
As quickly as it had come, that strange new skin I was feeling slipped away, leaving me standing in the gazebo looking like some kind of tyrant. My face flushed an ugly, fire truck red as I watched the Guardians just stare at me with open mouths. Then, all at once, they burst into laughter. I strongly felt the need to slaughter my new Shugo Chara, whoever she was.
"Noted," Kukai-kun snickered, wiping tears from his eyes from laughing too hard. "Man, I was right when I thought you were interesting, Hisayuki."
"You're Character Change is just like Tadase's!" Yaya-san snorted, her Shugo Chara busting a gut along with her. "You're so compatible!"
Before I could snap at how stupid and ridiculous that comment was, Tadase-kun stopped chuckling and smiled at me with the most gentle and light expression. It made my breath catch and heart stutter, and the effect was so sudden I forced myself to look away.
"Hisayuki-san," he began, so I swallowed my pride and looked at him again. His eyes seemed to widen just a bit, like he was actually seeing me for the first time, then he coughed to cover up his hesitation. "We never thought of you like that. Everyone is an individual, and has their own past and reason for doing what they do. That's what I always thought about you, which is why I was prepared to wait for you to join us until you were ready. I really do think you're a good, kind, and helpful person who will be a great help to us."
Shocked into silence form his words, and having never received such compliments before, all I could respond to him with was one of my rare and true smiles, which seemed to surprise everyone more than the sudden Character Change (which I was still resenting and stewing over, but not as badly now).
"And on that note…" Nadeshiko-san began, her tone implying that they were all about to say something that I had almost completely missed in my embarrassment from listening to myself. They all grinned their unique, specific smiles in turn, then simultaneously said, "We welcome you to the Guardians, Snow Hisayuki!"
Goddammit.
"My name is Vivian, by the way," said my new, irritatingly snooty character, who hmphed at me like she was queen of the damned world. "And you're welcome. You'd better take good care of me, Snow Monster."
…Why did I suddenly feel like the future laid out before me was going to be an extremely difficult one?
Crimrose: Can you guys guess what my favourite passtime is after this chapter?
Snow: ...Ruining my life?
Crimrose: Bingo! People like you are so fun to tease.
Ikuto: I second that.
Snow: You can leave any time now, lech.
Lee: Oh... it seems I made no appearance in this chapter.
Crimrose: Pssh. That's because you're my man-toy-thing.
Lee: EXCUSE ME?
Crimrose: Stay tuned and review if you're all for this fanfic with a lot of OC, and I really hope you guys like it!
Lee: ARE YOU DELIBERATELY IGNORING ME?
Ikuto: And definitely stay tuned if you want to see sexy times between me and Snow.
Snow: *Whips head around with the most evil glare on her face* I HAVE THE REALLY SUDDEN URGE TO KILL YOU.
Ikuto: By your hand, I'd be glad to die any time.
Crimrose: ... So you're an M for sure, huh. I'm cool with that.