"Do it!"

"I cannot!"

"Do it!"

"I cannot!"

"Do it!"

"I cannot!" the man cried, dodging yet another of Louise's attempt to dive forward and drive her lips into his. It was already nighttime; they've been at it that long. Everyone else had already left, aside from Colbert, who was probably only there out of professional commitment – either that, or pity. Louise despised both reasons with equal contempt. She'd summoned a familiar, hadn't she? Didn't it mean she was a legitimate mage? A real mage didn't need extra help or – or pity or – if only he – if only Colbert gave her just a few more minutes to seal the damn contract –

And if only her familiar would just stay still –

"Sit, dog!" Louise screeched, jabbing a finger at the man in the tuxedo. "No food for you for a week – sleep on the ground outside – kick you in the –"

And just to try to catch him off guard, Louise interrupted her own rant to leap forward.

It didn't work. The man swiveled out of the way, holding onto both his nose and a seemingly suffering expression all the while. "I cannot!" he cried again. "It pains me, it truly does! An attractive young lady showing me this much attention – showering me with love – offering to kick me – I mean, kiss me – I feel if I died right now, I can go to heaven in peace! But I must hold onto my man's pride! A man – loves ladies! A man – cannot kiss little girls!"

"I'm not a little girl!" Louise screamed. "That's it, fifty lashes! Toilet cleaning duty! And if you don't listen to me right now, I'll make you do even worse, so sit, sit sitsitsitsit –"

And then, to reasons quite unknown even to her, Louise burst into tears.

"Ah!" The man managed to catch her as Louise sank to her knees. "Uh, um – L-Louise-chan?"

"Why is this happening to me?!" Louise burst out. "Why?! Today was supposed to be my best day ever. I would summon a familiar and prove I was a proper mage! I would show that damn von Zerbst I got a better familiar than her! Instead I get a shady commoner who's more hairy than a troll and smells like one too! It can't even dress right!" She beat a fist on the man's chest just to prove her point, and one of his tuxedo's buttons almost apologetically snapped off right there. "See? And to make things worse, I still can't control it! It won't listen to me! It has more pride than me! And even though I offered it...I offered it...my first kiss..."

Louise choked back a sob. "Am I...really going to be a Zero forever...?"

There was a lull for a moment. Then –

"Louise-chan," the man said suddenly.

The girl rubbed her eyes quickly, spitefully, knowing she was making a pathetic scene but not being able to help it. "S-shut up. Go away. Get out of my sight –"

"Louise-chan!" With surprising force, the man grasped Louise's arm and brought it away, startling her into looking up – directly into the man's earnest, honest eyes. "Listen. I'm really sorry I can't fulfill your wish. I made a vow to myself, a long time ago, that I would be a man to love all ladies –"

"Yeah," Louise said bitterly, "yeah, I know, I'm so sorry I can't be a real lady –"

"You can be!" the man burst out, making Louise start in surprise. "You're a beautiful girl right now, Louise-chan. I can't kiss you now because of your age, but I would love to once you grow up to be a knockout babe, like I know you will." Then the man admonished himself, shaking his head quickly. "No, you won't just grow up to be a lady – I'll groom you myself! I won't stop until you're the Queen of this school!

"But I want you to know this, Louise-chan. When the time comes that you become the dame of dames – when we reach that point when I submit myself to your kiss – it won't be because of this so-called 'Summoning Ritual' that we're doing it. I will kiss you because you will be a gorgeous and lovely woman, and for no other reason.

"You're not a zero, Louise-chan. And if you think otherwise, then I'll just keep adding tens, or hundreds, or thousands to your tally until it's beyond a shred of doubt."

Louise really shouldn't have believed him. Wasn't he a commoner, for Brimir's sake? How would he ever coach a noble without making a fool out of himself? And his suggestion to raise her from a zero was ludicrous, at best. If it had been that easy, wouldn't Headmaster Osmond or Professor Colbert have fixed her magic already? She wouldn't have been in this situation to begin with, would she? Honestly, she should have admonished him, ridiculed him, penalized him for suggesting such utter nonsense.

"Really?" Louise asked in a quiet, tear-stricken voice.

The man smiled, and laid a hand gently over hers. "Really," he confirmed.

And that night, under the two moons, was the first time that Louise the Zero felt like everything was going to be all right.

...Except –

"Miss Valliere, the Springtime Familiar Summoning ritual is a sacred art handed down from Founder Brimir himself –"

"Baldie, shut that mouth up before I stuff your ass into it."

"...I...shall see what Headmaster Osmond says..."