I want you to see me. That sentence is doing things to Mickey. Things he doesn't want to think about, things he certainly doesn't want to own up to.
What is he supposed to do, though? Ian is like a puppy dog yipping for attention. Always around. And he doesn't have the heart to tell him to get lost for good. Part of it, he knows, is because Ian knows his secret. And boy was he stupid that night. He's never been so careless. It's like the weight of his secret, this part of him, built up and up until there was nowhere left to go but out. So out it came.
He came out.
He came out to Ian Gallagher.
Just thinking about it makes Mickey go cold all over.
And yet…somehow, just a little - not that he will admit this to a living soul - he kind of trusts Ian. Deep down he doesn't think Ian will tell. Ian is too good, he wouldn't want to hurt Mickey. Still, though, only a few people on the internet who live entire states away know about him, and for someone here and real knowing, it's scary and dangerous.
There's a worse part, though. The part Mickey refuses to think about, even in the middle of the night. Instead he'll cast his mind elsewhere; song lyrics, homework, doesn't matter. Anything that has nothing to do with Ian Gallagher.
So it's with a slight sense of foreboding that Mickey sits down in the second row of gymnasium bleachers. Karofsky and Azimio are going to give him shit for not cutting, which is hilarious considering they're football players, and who else is this stupid assembly for? Puck will be here because he likes the cheerleaders' skirts. Mickey glances around for him but doesn't see him.
Mickey lets out an unsteady breath and waits for the show to begin.
Glee is, of course, one of the last performances. Mickey has to sit through the cheerleaders, the majorettes, the band, even the freaking flags. No, seriously, who joins the flags? Mickey wonders how glee can be bottom rung when this school has the flag squad.
His uncharitable thoughts are interrupted when Principal Figgins comes over the mic.
"And noooow," Figgins says, somehow managing to sound bored and enthusiastic all at once, "for your enjoyment, New Directions!"
A somewhat familiar beat starts up and the members of New Directions pour out onto the stage in formation. They're wearing red pants or skirts and white tops, but Mickey only really sees Ian. His shirt is very snug (like his pants, Mickey can't help but notice), adorned with a blue and red striped bow tie - god, he's going to get himself killed if he keeps dressing like this - hair gelled down, and that ridiculous sunshine look on his face.
He just looks…stylish, and..dashing, and dapper.
Which. Is kind of Mickey's thing.
"Before you met me, I was alright, but things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life," Ian sings, leading the other members in choreographed moves.
"Now every February, you'll be my Valentine…"
Ian jumps off the stage and onto the gymnasium floor.
"Valentine…"
And the other members follow.
"Let's go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love," Ian's singing, and Mickey can barely breathe, because what the hell, Ian is staring right at him.
The New Directions are all over the gymnasium, but at any time that it seems humanly possible, Ian is singing to him, and that's not fair. It's just really not, because Ian's shirt is tight and his pants are tight and he looks really good, and his voice is really good, and he keeps looking at Mickey and it's making him blush.
"You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream!" Ian points at him and Mickey blushes, looks around, afraid, but it seems that everyone in the general vicinity thinks Ian is pointing at them. The girls are leaning into small clusters, giggling, and Mickey has to assume the guys are looking at Brittany and Santana because he doubts they're all cat-calling Ian.
"The way you turn me on…" Ian dances over toward his part of the bleachers, and Mickey has to put his backpack on his lap. "…My heart stops when you look at me, just one touch, now, baby, I believe."
Why is Ian doing this to him?
And…wait. That's exactly it. Why is he doing this?
Revenge. Clearly. Ian is more clever and manipulative than Mickey ever imagined. Hufflepuff his ass. It's the only explanation; Mickey bullied Ian and Ian's friends, Ian learned his big secret, and now Ian's using it against him.
And maybe Mickey deserves it, but that doesn't make him any less pissed off.
With one last look, Ian makes his way down the line, dancing in a way that should be illegal. Thankfully no one seems to notice Mickey at all, they're too busy going nuts.
Mickey stands his backpack up on his knees, peeking out from behind it for the rest of the performance. He's going to kill Ian for this. He glares Ian's way, trying to convey his deep, deep hatred. But it's too late, Ian's already traipsing off to the stage with the rest of them, the number finished.
Ian will pay. Mickey is not going through the Finn thing all over again. He told himself after that that he'll just have to wait for college until he can open himself up to the possibility of, well. Anything. And as far as allowing himself to form some infatuation with another straight boy? Hell no. Even if the straight boy has really nice— no. Down that road only danger lies.
His pocket buzzes. Mickey takes out his phone, giving it a disdainful look.
Ian: what did you think? :)
Mickey grits his teeth. Does Ian really think he's so stupid?
He doesn't answer right away.
Mickey: Meet me in the lobby Monday morning before homeroom.
Ian: ok?
Mickey turns his phone off and escapes the gym before Ian has a chance to seek him out.