New chapter! As always, I love to hear what you think. :)
###
"Son of a BITCH!"
Maura couldn't help the smile that lit up her entire face. She hurried down the hall, as Jane's shouting reverberated through the hospital wing.
Refreshed from a few hours of sleep, a shower, and more coffee than she would ever admit to, Maura bustled into Jane's hospital room. She had a bag stuffed with clean clothes, healthy snacks, and some magazines. Pretending that she and Jane were going away for a week at the spa helped her stay positive while she packed everything. Jane's hospital stay shouldn't be much longer. Her recovery was going to take a while, but Maura wasn't worried about that. She was just so happy to hear Jane's angry voice.
"God DAMMIT," Jane sputtered, holding a pillow to her chest and grimacing. She was trying to sit up higher in her bed, and it obviously hurt.
"Good morning, Jane," Maura said, setting the bag down and going immediately to the sink to wash her hands. She pushed up the sleeves of her loose Burberry sweater and reached for the soap. Under her sweater she still wore Jane's BPD t-shirt. It was a comforting secret, though now that Jane was awake, it felt a little scandalous. Maura shook her head and dried her hands. No, "scandalous" wasn't the right word. It felt… kind of ridiculous. Like she was a high school girl with a crush, and not a 37-year-old grown ass woman.
She thought about the other day when Jane had woken up for the first time since her surgery, and how she'd found Maura in the hospital bed asleep next to her. Maura had woken to Jane's raspy voice saying, "Are we having a sleepover, or is this your way of telling me you're attracted to me?" Maura had responded with a smile and whispered "both" before she was fully awake. As soon as the word tumbled from her lips, though, her eyes shot open wide, shocked at what she'd just admitted. But Jane's eyes were closed again and Maura had no idea if she'd heard her or not.
"I brought you a present," Maura said, smiling at the grouchy detective. She reached into the bag and pulled out an ipod docked in a small speaker system. "Healing mantras. They'll keep you calm and focused while you recover."
Jane didn't even try to mask her disappointment. "Healing mantr- Maura, really?" She clutched the pillow to her chest and shifted her weight in the bed. "Fucking cocksuckers!"
Maura laughed and set the ipod on the little table next to Jane's bed. "I also mixed in some Metallica and Rob Zombie and other angry music."
Jane's face softened and then a small smile crept through the shadows of pain. "Aw. You made me a mix tape?"
Maura chuckled. "I guess I did." They stared at each other for a beat. Another beat. Then there was a quick knock at the half-opened door and a nurse rushed in, laden with medications and various supplies.
"Time for a dressing change," the nurse chirped cheerfully. She began setting everything up on a small metal cart in the corner of the room. "I'll need you to slip off your gown, Mrs. Rizzoli."
"Ms." Jane and Maura said at the same time.
The nurse looked up at them and blinked. She smiled. "Ms. Rizzoli. Off with the gown please. Do you need assistance?"
Jane reached back to untie the loose knot behind her neck, but the movement of her arm sent a spasm of pain across her face. "Jesus fucking Christ," she gasped, slowly lowering her arm. She looked at Maura with such pain and frustration that Maura almost burst into tears. Maura hated seeing Jane like this. Hated it. And yet….
Maura softly rested her hand on Jane's shoulder. "Let me help you, OK?"
Jane nodded, and bit her cheek. Her eyes fell to her lap as Maura moved closer.
"First," Maura said, "We have to do something about all this hair." She smiled and tried to ignore the way her heart leapt as she reached for Jane's mane of black curls. Maura used her fingers to gently rake Jane's hair from around her face and away from the nape of her neck. Jane's eyes closed at Maura's touch.
Maura held Jane's hair up with one hand and reached into her pocket with her other. She produced a black elastic band and put it lightly between her lips. Her other hand went back to Jane's hair, where she gathered up the curls into a loose ponytail on top of Jane's head. It was very 80s fabulous, but that's how it would have to be. Maura wanted to make sure the ponytail was high enough on Jane's head so that she could still comfortably lean back against the pillows.
Jane opened her eyes and stared at Maura as Maura held the ponytail with one hand and took the elastic band from her mouth. She carefully contained the curls with the band then stepped back to admire her work. "All you need are some leg warmers and you'll be ready for CBGB." Maura's smile was soft, small.
Jane didn't take her eyes from Maura's face. Her expression was stoic, unreadable. Then she blinked and gave a half-smile. She kicked part of the blanket aside and wiggled her toes. "I already have the leg warmers, so I guess I'm all set." Her lower legs were wrapped in compression pumps – crazy looking wraps that filled with air and then deflated, meant to mimic walking movements in calf muscles so that hospital patients don't develop blood clots from being still for too long.
Maura's head tilted ever so slightly to the side and she bit her bottom lip to keep tears from welling. "Nice," she said, embarrassed by the hitch in her voice. "You're all set for a night of clubbing."
"Gown, please," the nurse said. She pushed the cart closer to the bed. It was covered in various sterile implements. Maura reached behind Jane's neck and untied the loose knot that was holding her gown in place. "I can step outside, if you wan-" she said, but Jane interrupted.
"Oh, please. It's not anything you haven't seen before." Her voice was joking, but Maura could see the fear in her eyes. This would be Jane's first dressing change since being awake. Her first glimpse at the incision. At the staples holding her chest together. At the new scar added to her collection.
Jane moved her shoulders and the loose gown tumbled to her lap, exposing her naked chest and the white bandage taped down the center of it. Maura kept her eyes trained on Jane's face. They held each other's gaze as the nurse busied herself with removing the bandage. Here and there Jane would wince and Maura reached for her hand.
"Just give me a squeeze when it hurts," Maura said. "I can take it. I'm tough." She gave a half-hearted smile. Jane took her hand, never taking her eyes off of Maura's face. She squeezed even when she wasn't hurting. Maura squeezed back.
When the nurse ripped the final piece of tape off Jane yelled, "FUCKER!" startling the nurse and making Maura laugh.
"You know, there are studies that prove swearing has an analgesic effect on people suffering sudden pain." Maura squeezed Jane's hand.
"Goddamn fucking horseshit bastards," Jane said, her voice as soft as it would be if she were telling a goodnight story. Her eyes were liquid black as she looked at the ME. "I've missed your fun facts, Maura."
"And I've missed you, Jane," Maura said, unable to hold back the tears that were welling for real now.
The nurse replaced the gauze and added new tape. "All set. You can pull up your gown now." She turned her back to clean up the tray of supplies.
Jane let go of Maura's hand and reached into her lap for her gown. She winced at the movement.
"Here," Maura said. "Let me." She leaned over Jane, taking the crumpled gown from Jane's lap and pulling it up with both hands. For just the hint of a second she let herself glance at Jane's breasts. Jane's perfect breasts, moving up and down with Jane's perfect breathing. Maura swallowed hard and pulled the gown up to Jane's neck, tying it lightly behind her.
"Thanks," Jane said, her voice low, almost a whisper.
"You're welcome," Maura answered. Her hands were still linked around Jane's neck from having leaned over to tie the gown. Her face was still very close to Jane's face, almost too close. Maura's hair fell as a curtain, blocking out the nurse who was bustling her way out of the room now, and leaving only Jane and Maura to look at each other, read each other's faces. Maura could smell her own shampoo mingling with Jane's sweat, with the smell of paper tape and sterile gauze. And she could hear the monitors attached to Jane's body – particularly the heart monitor.
The longer Maura held this position, with her arms around Jane's neck, her face so close to Jane's face, the strength and speed of Jane's heart rate increased rapidly. Soon, the only sound in the room was their breathing and a cacophony of wonderful, glorious, life-affirming beeps.