A/N: The final chapter is here! Hot off the press. And a little reader challenge- how many Friends episode references can you spot in this chapter? I know there are a few. As always, thanks to my reviewers;

DrKerryWeaver: Thanks for reviewing again! I'm glad you feel that way, that's exactly what I'm trying to achieve by writing this.

tennisgirlxoxo: Thanks for the review. I love hearing people's feedback; especially when they find the fic funny. I now appreciate the Friends writers more because it's hard to keep coming up with the jokes.

nannygirl: Thanks again! Another little key reference in this one, which you should enjoy- particularly if you spot the episode reference tied in with it!

Disclaimer: For the last time, no, I don't own them.

……

Quickly, yet as quietly as he could, Chandler lay down on the couch, pulling the still sleeping Monica with him. He managed to get down just in time, as the door swung open mere seconds later and he and Monica were hidden by the back of the green couch.

'Joey!' a familiar voice scolded in a hushed tone. 'You were supposed to knock and then use the key if Phoebe didn't answer!'

'Sorry, Rachel. I had the key in my hand so I just used it,' Joey replied, also keeping his voice low, although it was too late to be worried about wakening any sleeping occupants. Chandler heard one of the pair flick the light on as he wondered why they were there at such a time. He didn't think that Ross would have called them to help too.

'Phoebe,' Rachel called, her voice at its normal level. 'Pheebs? Are you here?' Chandler heard her footsteps as she crossed to Phoebe's bedroom and knocked gently on the closed door. Silence for a moment as all waited for a reply, Chandler knowing not to expect one. Monica was now awake and Chandler could tell that she was assessing the situation.

'Wonder where she is,' Rachel said, walking back over to Joey, who was still stood by the door. Chandler took this moment to make his and Monica's presence known. He sat up.

'Good morning,' he said brightly. Rachel leapt back, a hand placed dramatically over her chest.

'Dude, what're you doing here?' Joey asked, not as shocked as Rachel, who was taking deep breaths to get over the sudden fright.

'You scared the life out of me!' Rachel said, looking a little angry.

Monica sat up at the opposite end of the couch, so she could be seen by the other two.

'Monica?' Rachel said. 'What're you doing here?'

'I could ask you two the same question,' she replied, brushing a bit of hair out of her eyes.

'Nu-uh, we asked first!' Joey jumped in.

'I was watching Home Alone 1 and 2,' Chandler explained.

'They were both on?' Joey exclaimed, surprised.

'Yep.'

'Aw, I missed it!'

'I taped them both,' Chandler told him.

'Good. I'm not bothered about the second one, the first one's best.'

'I know!' Chandler agreed. 'With the kid's big plan and-,'

'Would you two please stop talking about a kid's movie?' Monica demanded, cutting Chandler off.

'It's a family film,' Chandler mumbled.

'Seriously you guys, why are you here? It can't just be because Chandler wanted to watch Home Alone,' Rachel said.

'Isn't that why you're here?' Chandler feigned surprise, raising his eyebrows and looking between Joey and Rachel.

Monica grimaced slightly at Chandler's unnecessary sarcasm. She shoved him a little and he got the message. She turned to Rachel.

'Ross called us,' she started, 'about Phoebe. You know how she believes in Santa?' Rachel and Joey nodded.

'Wish I still could,' Joey said sadly, looking at his feet. 'Stupid growing up had to ruin it all.'

'Yeah, so he said that Phoebe was at his place,' Monica continued, not really acknowledging Joey's comment. 'And she's convinced that Santa will come if she's not at home, for whatever reasons. So, me and Chandler had to come over and deliver a fake Christmas present… from Santa.'

'Riiiight,' Rachel said at the odd explanation. 'We're just here because Joey forgot to give Phoebe her presents from us.' She held out to small, wrapped gifts for Monica and Chandler to see.

Joey shuffled his feet, avoiding everybody's gaze as Monica and Chandler made sounds of realisation. He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck.

'Rachel?' he said.

'Yeah?'

'I might have- just maybe… forgotten to give presents to anybody…. At all.'

'Joey! Next year, I'm not gonna bother asking you to do anything,' Rachel said exasperatedly. She sat on the edge of the chair with Monica and Chandler. 'Hang on, why are you two still here? You brought the present over, your job's done.'

'We had a few… issues,' Monica said lightly.

'One being that Joey is currently digesting our key,' Chandler added. 'No knowing how long that will take.'

'Seven years isn't it?' Joey suggested unsurely.

'That's gum.'

'Phoebe told me that it took seven years to digest gun.'

'Phoebe's told us all a lot of things, Joe.'

Joey shrugged him off with a slight nod of agreement.

'We better get out of here then,' Monica said. 'Phoebe could be on her way over any minute now and we don't want her to find us here.'

'You're right,' Rachel said. She stepped over to the newly set-up Christmas tree and carefully placed hers and Joey's presents beneath its spindly branches. She was just about to lead the other three out of Phoebe's apartment when she heard footsteps and faint but familiar voices from the other end of the hall. She turned her back to the door and mouthed 'They're coming!'

'Hide!' Monica cried in a loud whisper, before dashing into Phoebe's bedroom.

For a few panicked seconds, hushed chaos ensued. Joey followed Monica's lead into Phoebe's bedroom and Rachel paced back and forth between opposite ends of the room as she tried to think of a hiding place. Chandler simply rolled off the couch and managed to worm his way beneath it, in a scrunched ball to prevent his feet showing. Phoebe and Ross's voices were now coming more clearly towards them.

Rachel threw caution to the wind and hurried into Phoebe's kitchen, throwing open the biggest cupboard she could find. She threw a couple of empty cracker boxes out and squeezed in, her petite form aiding her.

In the bedroom, Monica had done the most obvious thing and practically thrown herself beneath Phoebe's messy bed, finding herself horrified and the clutter that had accumulated there (particularly what looked like a voodoo doll of Big Bird). Joey had opened Phoebe's wardrobe and stepped in, after hesitating for a moment; he was scared of the menacing looking waist-height plush Santa that Phoebe had stowed away there.

It was silent for around a second and then, the sound of Phoebe's key in the door. Ross sighed impatiently. Then, the lock clicked and the pair entered. Ross closed the door behind him.

'This is it then,' Phoebe said to Ross. 'Time to see who's really right.'

'Mmhmm,' Ross nodded distractedly, knowing that he had already given away his chance of proving himself to be right. Phoebe was about to go and investigate under the tree when a petrified scream tore through the apartment.

Rachel tumbled out of her cupboard hiding place and leapt into a standing position.

'RACHEL?' Ross and Phoebe yelped simultaneously, thunderstruck by her scream and sudden appearance… out of Phoebe's kitchen cupboard.

'Sp-spider!' was all that Rachel could stutter in reply. 'Huge spider!'

'Why are people so afraid of Suzie?' Phoebe pondered to herself.

'What the hell are you doing in Phoebe's cupboard?' Ross said, having overcome the shock.

'Why are you even in my apartment?' Phoebe said, walking up to the kitchen counter to face Rachel.

'I-uh… Uh-,' Rachel tried to come up with a decent explanation, but was interrupted by another, more masculine scream accompanied by a tinny, muffled rendition of 'Jingle Bells.'

Joey bashfully slouched into the main living area, his hands in his pockets.

'Thought it was a possessed Santa,' he mumbled. 'I stood on its foot and it started singing.'

'Because it says "Press here"!' Phoebe said, getting more and more exasperated. 'It's supposed to do that! And why, why are you both here?'

Beneath the couch, Chandler rolled his eyes, before rolling his body out of its hiding place.

'Boo,' he said dryly as he stood, wiping carpet fluff off his trousers. The scream elicited from Rachel was completely unnecessary- especially as she knew that Chandler had been hid there.

'Chandler?' Ross said.

'WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING IN MY APARTMENT?' Phoebe yelled. Everybody cringed at her raised tone and backed away a little.

'Uh, maybe that can wait,' Chandler suggested.

'Yeah, besides, Monica is still hiding here somewhere,' Joey added.

'Fine. But I want to know what's going on as soon as she's here,' Phoebe said. This was getting a little weird even for her. 'Monica, you can come out now,' she called.

Nothing. Not a sound as everybody stood in silence waiting for Monica's reappearance.

'Mon, it's not a competition,' Ross said.

Still nothing.

'Okay. Even if it was a competition, you won ages ago Mon,' Chandler reasoned, knowing exactly how Monica's mind worked in such a situation.

'I know!' came her distinct cry from the bedroom. A moment later she was stood with the rest of the group in Phoebe's living room. 'That was too easy,' she said, referring to her 'victory'.

'Now, will someone please tell me what's going on here?' Phoebe asked.

'Um, alright,' Rachel said. 'Joey?' She looked to Joey to come up with an explanation.

'Yeah, but I really think that Monica would explain it better,' Joey said, now turning to Monica for a fake reason for their being there.

Monica's eyes widened. 'Well, uh, it was Chandler's idea really,' she told Phoebe, shifting the responsibility to the last available person; who was probably the best liar anyway.

'Thank you Monica,' he said sarcastically. 'Here's the thing Pheebs… Um, Ross called us all to tell us your theory-,'

'Phoery,' Phoebe interrupted. Everybody looked at her blankly. She sighed impatiently. Because I'm Phoebe and I have theories… I call them Pheories.'

'Oh right.'

'Of course.'

'Anyway,' Chandler continued, clapping his hands together. 'Ross called us and said about how you thought Santa would come to your place. And I have to say, Phoebe, that Doctor Geller here was a little sceptical. So, that's why we're here… to see what Father Christmas brought you,' Chandler finished the last sentence as though even eh thought it was a lousy lie- which it was.

'That's weird,' Phoebe said bluntly.

'Aren't you just glad that all of your best friends are here with you on Christmas day?' Monica asked, trying to distract her away from thinking about Chandler's cover story too much.

'That's nice and all,' Phoebe said. 'But a little too cheesy for my liking… We're all going off the point here anyway. It's a bit creepy that you all came and waited in my apartment for me just to see what a fat guy in a red suit left below my Christmas tree. Frankly, I don't care too much about that. Now, has he been?'

There was no question about what she meant. With a smile, Monica indicated the gift she and Chandler had placed at the foot of Phoebe's tree. Phoebe's face split into an eager grin.

She bounded across the room, swept the present into her arms and carefully walked back to where the others waited. Like Joey, she didn't bother reading the label before ripping into the festive paper. Having dutifully shredded the paper to reveal Monica and Chandler's unwanted wedding gift, she held it up to admire it.

'I heard that the elves hand blow those bowls for people who are in the top 100 of the Nice list,' Monica told Phoebe the story she had come up with earlier.

'Aw, I want one!' Joey said, eyeing the bowl jealously.

'Not real, Joe,' Chandler mouthed to him as Phoebe admired the bowl.

'I love it!' Phoebe exclaimed, holding it up to the light. She placed the bowl on her counter and then searched through the pile of torn-up wrapping paper until she found the label that Monica had written mere hours ago.

She shoved the label under Ross's nose, so that he could clearly read the words 'To Phoebe- Merry Christmas- love Santa.'

'I told you so,' she smirked, clearly enjoying this.

Ross just held his tongue.

……

A/N: Well, there you have it. The end at last! I hope you all enjoyed reading this, I know I had fun writing it!