Izaya awoke on Celty's couch, his head hurt like crazy, his legs even more, Shinra was up, alyough he was still white as a ghost and had to regularly sit down for fear of stumbling and hurting himself.
Izaya was just lying there, whimpering as his legs burnt pain through every single nerve in his body, it really, really, really hurt.
One thing shon through the pain, though, a brand new, shiny set of 50-something 6 metre long, wavy nose hairs.
"Fuck", Izaya said, in a flat tone.
Celty heard him and came around the other side of the couch to look at Izaya. She got out her phone and typed out,
"Ah, you're awake!" and then pulled the phone away and typed another message.
"Well, Shinra fainted another 3 times whilst you were out, he saw your nosehairs coming back."
"I noticed those", Izaya said glumly.
"But I think Shinra is OK with them, now." Celty typed, then walked away.
Izaya got up, slowly, swung his mangled legs off the couch, and thought for a moment about getting up.
Miraculously, the hairs snaked down to the floor, and lifted Izaya off the ground. He thought about left, and the hairs started moving his body to the left.
Then Izaya thought about 'forward' and the hairs carried him forward, towards the kitchen. He traversed the dining table and stopped, looking down at the thin, black hairs that kept him aloft and thought
'I can control these things, now!'
He moved again, thinking, this time about 'around the bench' and the hairs, moving more fluidly than before, moved behind the counter and standing in the kitchen.
Shinra was watching him from the hallway, he apprehensively stepped into the kitchen, and asked Izaya.
"Uhh, Izaya? Can I ask you, now that I'm past the shock,"
Izaya turned, attempting to smile in the situation. "Yes?"
"What are those?" Shinra said, pointing at the hairs.
"Why, Shinra, I was wondering if you could tell me that."
Shinra went paler, still, he was going to faint again, but surprisingly, Shinra mangaged to stay standing, which was very impressive.
"Well, uh.. Izaya, let's sit down in my study, and, uhh, I can study these hairs."
Shinra walked out of the kitchen, gesturing meekly for Izaya to follow him down the hallway, and into Shinra's private study, where Izaya sat to have his hairs examined.
Shinra cut off one of the hairs, which automatically stiffened into a hard rod that Shinra, nor Izaya could snap, no matter how hard they tried.
"Hmm," said Shinra, still pale, but some color had begun to returm to his cheeks.
"It appears that this hair has changed its molecular mass from loose to incredibly tight in an instant"
"Where did you procure these monstrosities, from, may I ask?"
Izaya recounted the story of how go damn Heiwajima Shizuo had hired some yellow afro'd freak to come after him, how they had broken into Ikebukuro Nuclear Power Plant, and had had quite a battle on the scaffolding above the vats of toxic waste.
He told Shinra of the fall with the yellow haired man and how finally, he had smashed his legs from the drop off the top of the tower.
"Oh my, this is bad" Shinra said, a low tone.
"OH SHIT!" Izaya said, his voice crying out.
"HOW WILL YOU EVER RECLAIM YOUR DIGNITY?" Shinra said, then unexpectedly burst into tears.
"I FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU" Shinra was really wailing, now.
Izaya was a little worried.
"Uh, Shinra, calm down, how can I fix this?"
Shinra was still crying.
"SHINRA! STOP CRYING!"
Shinra stopped.
"I'm sorry Izaya, you can't do anything, the hairs will eventually kill you"
OHNOES!
WILL IZAYA EVER LIVE TO SEE NO NOSE HAIR?
WILL IZAYA EVER EVEN LIVE?
FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER