I haven't updated anything in a while, really.

Oh, well, i guess i'm more up to reading fanfics than writing at the moment.
But don't be alarmed, i'm sure i'll force myself to finish Straitjacket soon enough.

Meanwhile, here's Emmett.

Emmett

I imagine that everyone in the state of Alaska could hear the pitch of Rosalie's voice as she screamed my name. The look on her and Alice's and of course Bella's, face made me double over in laughter. Especially Bella's. You could actually see the anxiety and worry on her face. It was adorable, but not to forget, tremendously amusing. As I ran away from the windowsill, planning to hide up by the mountains, I could hear Alice and Bella trying to stop Rosalie from running after me. I would not actually mind if she did, but I guess that the consequences that would do to her hair and clothes just would not be worth it. Especially not for me. The others were just laughing. Esme, Carlisle and the Denali Clan chuckled at this humorous event, and Jasper and Edward were booming with laughter. You'd be surprised if you heard how much it sounded like me. I guess you do become like the people you spend time with. Especially Edward was laughing, probably from their thoughts, I figured. I ran backwards through the forest, not afraid of hitting a tree or something, it would break, I wouldn't. Simple logistics.
As I ran I saw Edward's grinning face through the glass in one of the window's. Pretty good, ey? I thought, knowing that he would hear me. He gave me thumbs up, smiling as a five-year-old at Christmas day. He had always loved to play tricks on Rosalie. I too, though, but in this case I was just plain bored.

You would think that a vampire would have all the patience in the world, considering we never slept, and that this life, my vampire life so to speak, had all been one long day. It never ended. So you'd figure a few hours wouldn't be too bad, right?
Well, in my case, you're wrong. Sure, you could look at Edward and admire him for all those hours he spent waiting for Bella to wake up, while she was human. Or Jasper, to have to endure waiting for Alice to be done at the mall, something she never really was. She was just taking a break.
However, none of that counts if your name is Emmett Cullen, and you don't have that patience. This is the reason to, not all, but some of my tricks. The lack of patience. A day like this, a wedding, my wedding, was not the greatest day to be like this. Just look at Jasper, who can sit calmly and read a newspaper without getting bored. It's really weird I tell you.
Since I now knew that neither Carlisle nor Esme was a good alternative, who had been much too sweet for me to pull pranks on, and that Rosalie was still a little upset about the whole wedding dress chabang, I decided that my next prank, Yes, there has to be more, would be on someone else. Everyone knows, even I, that Edward would not be the smartest choice for this, since he had a way of knowing exactly what I was up to. Something I called cheating. He, however, did not.
No, I knew exactly what to do and who to choose as my victim. All I needed was for Edward to shut up. After a quick glance to the window and Edward's discrete nod, I knew it was time. This could be funny.
Something one might have reacted to by now is that it seems that I have forgotten about Alice and her visions of decisions, those funruiners of hers. Nevertheless, I have thought about them. Experience and a few years together with my family, and you know all the tricks. I have simply decided to walk in to Jasper and Edward, something Alice should not react to all that much. She was focusing on Rose and on "beautifying" all the girls. Considering my Rose has never needed that, I simply let it pass, as one of Alice's many games. Almost as Barbie-Bella, but with Rose instead. No, Alice would not notice this, and it was a perfect plan in many ways.

As I walked in to the room neither Edward nor Jasper looked up. Jasper, simply because he was too intrigued in the silly book he was now reading and Edward because he had no reason to. He did not know anything of my plan, you see. Ah, you gotta love it when I outsmart myself. Edward grinned a little at this, but nothing to visible. Ey, better to be too self-confident than suicidal, right? My brother flinched at this too, something that gave me a little reminder. Sorry, bro', didn't mean to.
When I was fully in the room, I simply sat down on one of the chairs along the wall. This is where the fun starts. I got going, imagining Rose in all these really sexy outfits. And of course, my mind sets off. I could see Edward flinching a little in his seat. Ah, you poor man. Here, think of this instead. I thought of Bella on the beach, which of course, at first, made Edward mad. You know, territory stuff or something. Anyways. I simply told him that this was a part of the plan, so he finally gave in. And there we were. Two old vamps sitting and thinking the most erotic thoughts we could and waiting for the plan to work. To not be too obvious with the plan, We didn't look up. Finally, I got my proof of it working.

"Jasper, can't that wait? I'm in the middle of something." I looked up and I saw Jasper looking longingly at the door in to the girls changing room. Operation Emotional Overload definitely worked. "Yes, you're decisions are lovely, Jazz, but really, not now." We could all hear Alice's voice from behind the door and how Rose and Bella snickered. Edward and I laughed to. This must be one of my best pranks. Now, let's see. Who's next?

Speaking of our favourite muscle-man;

anyone heard of/read/writing any good RosexEmmett?

Bellward's everywhere, need some Emmelie once in a while.

If you've, tell me.

And tell SkogsEmmett what you think about her chapter.

xoxo