(A/N: I'm dyin', Scoob. Hopefully, I'll finish up some of my many other one-shots after this chapter. Only time will tell...

ALSO! This chapter contains some ONE-SIDED DATR! If that bugs you, you might wanna skip it, yeah?)

Ch. 6: Jealousy

Summary: Zim displays jealousy after Tak uses her charms to outwit Dib.

Various caged rats sat upon a 20-foot table, surrounded by dozens of beakers and test tubes, some filled, some empty. There were also some snacks. Typical scenery down in Zim's lab. He read from a clipboard while Tak surveyed the table.

"Rats?"

"Check."

"Bubonic plague sample?"

"Check."

"Corpse from which we recovered the aforementioned sample?"

"Uh, check...ew."

"Snacks, just in case?"

"Check. We're ready, Zim."

"Perfect! Now to genetically alter those fleas and release these vermin onto the human population! I'll go retrieve the fleas!" Zim turned around to fetch them when he heard a sneeze. "What was that?"

"It wasn't me," said Tak.

The two looked up, and there was Dib, holding himself against a hanging tube, and quite obscenely wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"What, no 'geshundheit'?" he chided them before realizing his spy mission had been compromised. "Uh-oh."

Steam practically puffed out of Zim's head. "COMPUTER, GET HIM!"

"What...? I was just taking a nap..." whined Computer. He lazily sent a couple robot arms after the intruder.

"HAH!" Dib evaded the arms with ease and back flipped to the floor. He made sure to snap a picture of Zim and Tak with his camera before flinging a smoke bomb and disappearing.

"RRRGH!" Zim shook with rage. "I shall have my bloody revenge on that DUMB...DOODOO...RRR!"

"Don't lose your head," Tak put a hand on his shoulder. "You know, in situations like these, violence isn't always the answer."

"Heh?"

"Just leave it to me. Come on, he can't have gotten far."

Zim and Tak reached the house level; they peeked through the window and immediately spotted Dib near the center of the neighborhood. He was still patting smoke out of his clothes.

Tak smirked and switched her disguise on. "Watch and learn."

"Note-to-self: never get a job as a chimney sweep," Dib coughed out.

"Hey, Dib!" Tak greeted him. "Still into photography, I see."

Dib held the photo protectively. "Oh, no, you don't! No matter what you say, I'm not letting you have this picture, Tak! And I had the lens cap OFF this time, so don't even start with that!"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm not a hothead like Zim; I know when I've been bested. At least let me see it."

"...fine, you can LOOK, but that's all." Dib showed it to her for about two seconds before yanking it back.

"You didn't even get my good side!" she pretended to be upset. "You've still got your camera there, take another picture of me!"

The boy eyed her suspiciously. "What for?"

"For me," Tak fluttered her eyelashes. "I just want ONE good photo to frame before you expose me to the world as an alien. That's not too much trouble, is it?"

The thought of having Tak model for him made Dib's heart skip a beat, but his brain was all like "Heart, you imbecile! Take the evidence and get the heck out of here!" He concluded that there would be no harm done.

"Fine."

He took this opportunity to peer back at Zim, who was still watching from the lawn. He mouthed "jealous?" to the Irken. Zim squinted at Dib in hatred.

And so, Dib took photo after photo of Tak, and she was dissatisfied with each and every one. Of course, witnessing all this made Zim furious, but he trusted Tak to go through with whatever her plan was.

"Oh! This one's perfect!" Tak declared, holding one of the dozens of photos. "You can keep all those extras, Dib. Do whatever with them."

The scythe-haired boy was nearly being crushed by all the pictures he was carrying. "Gr...great..." he strained out. "I'm all out of film anyway..."

"Ta-ta!" she waved and gave him a shove-off.

"WELL?" Zim asked impatiently when Tak returned inside the base.

Her disguise flickered off as she smugly held up the photo she'd selected. It was the one of her and Zim from back in the lab.

"Whoop-dee-doo, you outsmarted the human," Zim snatched the picture and unceremoniously ripped it up. "Yay, victory for Zim."

"More like victory for ME. Do you see what can be accomplished when you just listen to me?"

Zim turned around and crossed his arms. "Oh, I see, alright..."

"Oh, great," Tak rolled her eyes. "You're upset again."

"Mm-HMM!" huffed Zim.

"How did I accidentally offend the amazing Zim this time?"

"With the pictograph! And all those pictures! And the NYEHHH! Hmph!"

Tak put a hand on her hip. "You know I didn't mean any of that stuff I said, right? All that was for show; part of my utterly clever plan! There's no reason for you to feel jealous."

"What is this fixation you and the Dib have with jelly?! I don't HAVE any, okay?!"

"Just tell me what your problem is so I can help you get over it."

"You can't fix everything," Zim pouted. "There are things going on within my incredible mind that lie WAY beyond your realm of understanding!"

"I have no doubts of that," Tak said dryly. "Well, then, what can I do? Just stand here and watch you sulk?"

"If you wish. But I warn you, it's not going to be as entertaining as you expect."

Zim dragged his feet over to the couch and lay upon it. He folded his hands over his chest. Tak decided to just check back with him later.

After several hours spent down in the lab, she found Zim in the exact same position.

"This is worse than I thought," the female Irken marveled. "Enough is enough. Start talking your feelings out. Come on."

"Very well...Tak?" he began. "How did you achieve such levels of cunning?"

"Through suffering. Lots and lots of suffering." Tak frowned, thinking back on her days upon Planet Dirt.

"And all that suffering paid off?"

"I would say so."

"Is that why everything always has to go better for you? And if I just suffer some more, I shall be able to dominate the earth, finally?"

"What do you mean? Where'd that come from?"

"That's what I 'have jelly' about."

"Wait...what? THAT'S what you're jelly- -I mean, jealous about?"

"Um, YES?" Zim said like it was obvious. "What did you think it was?"

"...nothing!" Tak said in relief. Zim was still completely oblivious to the fact that Dib had a crush on her. "Well, I have both good news and bad news in response to that!"

"What's the good news?"

"I don't get EVERYTHING right, Zim! In fact, I just screwed up an experiment!"

"Oh, goodie. My ego is still intact," Zim said in relief. "What's the bad news?"

"That experiment was the bubonic plague thing, and as we speak, hundreds of rats are gnawing their way up through the floor. We have to get out of here, like, right now."

Suddenly, gross, gaping holes appeared in the tiles of the living room, and little rat snouts began poking out of them.

Tak hoisted Zim (who was too astonished to move) over her shoulder and carried him outside. Through a window, they could see GIR playing with many of the rats.

"Disgusting..." groaned Computer. "I'd better synthesize a rat poison." A spray was heard emitting through the base. "No way am I cleaning up all these dead rats, though."

Zim shuddered. "My...my base..."

"See?" Tak held him out in front of her. "You needn't be jealous of me. We're BOTH screw-ups."

(A/N: Well, that was...something. This chapter was hard to write/edit, too. So weird how my stories always end up SO different from how I originally planned. I wonder if that's a good thing? It was gonna be all complicated, and Zim was gonna be pissed at Tak for giving Dib a bunch of attention, but then I remembered that Zim isn't AWARE that Dib likes Tak, and Tak doesn't even care about Dib that much, and it was a mess. I'm that one critic who's never satisfied. With myself.

But anywho, do all the usual stuff! Review and NYEHHH!)