The average Winx Club fanbrat, also known as spoilt child, needs-to-grow-up or can't-take-concrit is in its natural habitat.
We see a little girl, probably about eleven years old, sitting at her computer in her bedroom, the walls of which are covered in posters of One Direction, Justin Bieber, Twilight and other annoying things. She is a remarkably ordinary looking girl, regardless of what she thinks. She has frizzy dark brown hair with split ends pulled into a messy shoulder-length ponytail, brown eyes behind glasses, an acne problem and her nose actually runs like a normal person. She also has about as much fashion sense as… what fashion sense? Her clothes are the colour of Pepto-Bismol with a few melted LifeSavers thrown into the concoction!
This fanbrat, known as Liana in real life and winxbloomluvurfan02 online has just signed up for fanfiction dot net a few days ago. She heard about it from her friend at school, who is also another fanbrat.
Her favourite cartoon is Winx Club so she decided to write an awesome story for it. It would be totally awesome!
Plot? What plot? Who needs a plot?
Spelling and grammar? What are those?
She cracks her knuckles and "works" on her "masterpiece".
What is it called, you might ask?
It's called: winx club my way.
What an original title…
What are the main characters in this story, might you ask?
Not any characters we can recognize.
Most of the cast consists of OC's and not the good kind of OC's…
"Let's see…" winxbloomluvurfan02 pauses… Thinking? Certainly not!
"Liana Smith lives in Begoniaville. she is in park with cute pet rabbit fiko when he see someting spetakuler. What culd it bi? Not gud at summaris plz rviw."
PERFECT SUMMARY!
Let's read (or attempt to read) Liana/winxbloomluvurfan02's story.
It is sunni dai in begoniaville sun shining, clouds flyffi and whyte.
Liana Smith is relaxing in the park with her pink rabbit fiko when she runs off to chase a butterfly.
Seconds later, she is back and squealing loudly in fear.
What is it, fkio? She ask.
Fiko leads her to clearing and explosions ring out.
"YAH! SPARKLING RIBBONS!"
A girl with lustrous dark green hair, gold sceptre and wings waves it at ghouls.
Several poorly described scenes which are more like a carbon copy of the first episode of Winx Club later, the first chapter is finished.
Liana turns out to be… a fairy and the strange girl in the park is a fairy too, who ends up taking her to Alfea too.
Surprised?
Yeah, I'm not surprised either.
Those who have survived to the end of the chapter are thanking the Great Dragon that their brains survived it as well.
winxbloomluvurfan02 however is clueless to this and thinks she has done a fantastic job. It is the best thing ever!
Her mother calls her for dinner so she goes downstairs to get it.
Later on, she decides to check her story and see her reviews. They will be full of such praise for her great work, her masterpiece!
She then clicks the reviews page… but what's this?
There are people who actually don't like her story?
Why, this fact is just beyond her limited comprehension!
Reviews for winx club my way:
MapleLeafMeg:
Please, get a Beta reader. Your spelling and grammar could so with some work.
MagixDove:
This… this is a joke, right? You cannot actually be serious! My dog could write better fanfiction than this! This doesn't look like you put any work into it at all!
RascalReader:
This just looks like a carbon copy of the show. Please, do some revision before you put your writing up…
WitchPlease!:
This… Wow. The grammar and spelling have a few obvious issues (at least obvious to me and not you). You really should revise your work before you publish it. It COULD be better if you put some actual work into it…
TeamTrix:
What the flying fudgesticks did I just read?
anon:
This story sucks! Go set yourself and your computer on fire and spare the rest of us this torment! YOU SUCK!
anon 2:
This story is full of shit. If I could report stories for being full of fail, I would. Still, at least I can report this for your abysmal failure at language which I have. Give up and stop slaughtering the English language. You type like you're high on a combination of whiskey and PCP and your keyboard is broken. Once again, FULL. OF. SHIT.
The fanbrat trembles angrily in her chair. How dare they actually give her negative reviews! Everyone is supposed to like her story and fill her reviews box with rainbows and sparkles and nice reviews!
She angrily brings up a blank document and types up an angry author's note to put up as a chapter, never mind that this is against the rules of the site. Wait, what rules? She totally ignored those!
To all my haters:
FUCK OFF YOU TROLLS! U GUISE R JUST GEALOUS THAT I CAN RIGHT BETTER THAN U! I GONNA BLOK U IF YOU SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MI STORI SINCE YOU IS ALL JUST PATHETIC TROLLS WITH NO LIFE. THIS STORY IS COOL! BACK THE FUCK OFF AN LEAV MI ALON!
Feeling somehow satisfied that this rather articulate and mature author's note has gotten across her point, she goes to bed.
The next afternoon after school where she complained bitterly to her friend Cara aka sparkleshine_bloomfan02, she decides to go check on her story again, sure that her "loyal fans" will rally around her and give her support against "the evil trolls."
Reviews for winx club my way:
sparkleshine_bloomfan02
u tell dem, Liana! Them trolls don't kno what dey talink aboot!
See? She knew she'd have people rallying around her!
But then she reads the rest and starts to turn red in anger.
WinxWriter_M
Someone told me about this so I had to come read it for myself. Wow. Those people who reviewed you weren't trolls. (Well, most of them anyway.). This little author's note of yours is pathetic.
MapleLeafMeg
If I wanted to deal with bratty children, I'd go to the "problem class" at the kindergarten school I teach at. Keep on with your sub-par writing then.
TeamTrix
Seriously? Grow the hell up, you little brat. Not everyone's going to like your "work". You just make the rest of us Americans look bad…
MagixDove
One word: REPORTED.
anon:
What do we have here? The fanbrat in their natural habitat? Pathetic little child. Go back to your hole. No one wants the likes of you here.
RascalReader
All we did was point out a couple errors in your story and offer ideas on how to improve. You don't want that? Fine. I won't read any of your "stories" ever again.
anon 2:
story still sucks. Go to hell and never come back.
WitchPlease!:
So this is how things are, aren't they? People offer you some advice on how you can get better and this is how you thank them? Child, you don't have any "haters". You're nothing but a pathetic, snot-nosed little brat. Oh, and I also reported this chapter for being just an author's note. Good bye and have a good day. (And perhaps a good story idea.)
Liana/winxbloomluvurfan02 has by this point turned as red as Bloom's hair.
One can almost see the steam pouring out of her ears.
She bangs the keyboard in frustration and it explodes.
A beat passes.
Then the CPU explodes, overloaded with her crappy fanfiction.
Then the monitor explodes, sending her flying across the room.
The mouse also explodes.
Then the desk explodes.
And finally, Liana/winxbloomluvurfan02 explodes as well, from anger.
The world is one fanbrat less and the fanfiction masses cheer.
"DING DONG! THE FANBRAT'S DEAD!"
Aah! The fanbrat in all its glory. Or not. Not so much parodying the stories of this fandom as it is parodying some of the writers and reviewers in this fandom.
Suggestions still welcomed!