Disclaimer: I don't go stealin' stuff – ain't we been through this 'nuff already? Only thing bein' mine is the plot and idea… 's all I'm sayin'.
Rotten, gorram Jayne Cobb! I ain't never killed no one, 'cept some Reavers, and I ain't never wanted to… 'til now. Blasted Jayne! I swear, I'm gonna kill him!
Well… not all the way, see. Just so… he can't walk, or sumthin'… He's been all follow'n me 'round, which I ain't one for at all, and spyin'.
Yeah, I caught him spyin' on me, and then I caught him with Simon in a corner, telling him what-for, for no good reason. I mean, who does that Mr. Jayne Cobb think he is, anyways? It's like… well, it's like he's a-thinkin' his my brother, or sumthin'.
Like I said, I wanna kill him!
Every time Simon gets mushy, and I can honestly say he don't get all mushy very often, and goes to kiss me, there's Jayne, trying to tell me that I don't rightly know who all the Doc's been kissin', and I could prolly get sick from 'im or somethin'. It's hard enough to get alone time with Simon without Jayne actin' this-a way. River, I do lover 'er, I really do, but she was all sneakin' 'round for a time, and, I mean, after she went a-spyin' over his bunk and caught us right before… well, caught us, then Simon's bunk was outta the question. But now, Jayne's hangin' around my bunk, so we can't go there either. Poor Simon, he's afraid of Jayne, sorta. I ain't, but then again, I wasn't raised like Simon.
And that River… before Jayne went all putterin', I was startin' to notice…
Everyone says I'm not right, or that I'm confused, but I know how a girl goes and looks at someone she fancies. River fancies… well, the captain. I can tell. She looks at him (or she did until she caught me watchin' her, and then she got more careful) like I look at Simon… and now how Inara watches Mal, too.
Ain't it sweet?
I mean, I feel bad for Inara, 'n all, 'cause everyone knew she was shiny for Mal, but… well, waitin' ain't worth it. I waited all too long for Simon, I know, and Inara won't be givin' up her Companioning, so I say 's fine. I couldn't be with a companion… I mean, they're nice 'n all, but I like Simon. Not just because he's Simon, mind, but because he's one fella, and I know he ain't never gonna cheat on me, never… and I see him every day, and I'll keep seein' him every day. I know it's been hard for Mal to see Inara every gorram day and not be able to hold her or touch her. She can't 'spect him to wait forever for her, and not have no one…
Oooh, and that's another thing, too.
I ain't told this around much… see, I like Inara, she's a good friend, but I know this is what I've seen… and this would hurt her, and I don't want that… even though she needs to know, some time or other. But, hey, I'll get on to that later.
Anyways, as I was sayin', see, I also noticed that…
Well…
I think the Captain's been watchin' River, too.
Now, I ain't sayin' that I'm all right, I might be a little wrong, but…
Well, I saw last week how River was havin' one of her fits – which she don't get very much any more – and she kinda fell down and started rockin' all quick. I feel bad, but… I admit, I've been a little scared of River since she helped me shoot them men when we had to rescue Mal that one time, so I worried about if she'd know it was me, Kaylee, and not a Reaver. So, I went to call for Simon, thinkin' he'd be able to get her workin' better, when the Captain came in quicker than slidin' on engine grease and fell down with her and held her, rockin' her and talkin' soft.
I ain't never seen him do that before. I asked Zoë about if Mal had ever done somethin' like that, and she said she'd never seen him do that, but then again, he may have way before he met Zoë.
And, it ain't been the last time I saw it, neither. She asked him 'bout sumthin one day, and he said sumthin back – I wasn't close, so I don't rightly know what they were sayin' – and it she went all shiny and skipped away from him. He didn't know I was watchin', but I saw Mal watch after her, sigh all sad-like, shake his head, and go back to what he was doin'.
Now, really, what else would that mean? He fancies her, I know it.
I tried talkin' to Simon 'bout it, but he won't listen to me. He's a sweetheart, and I really do love 'im, but he still looks at River as a tiny girl, not a woman, like she is.
Then I tried talkin' to Jayne about it, but he wouldn't listen to me – and not like Simon's way. Simon does his thing were he goes and listens, then disagrees like I said nothin'. Jayne, though, just walked away, not even listen' to me. So, I followed 'im 'til he did…
Wait a gorram minute. That's when he went all putterin' on me and Simon.
Jayne Cobb! Where'd that man get to? I gotta say a few things to him, tell him a little about how he'd better back off...
I swear, iff'n he don't, I'll toss 'im on into Serenity's engine.
A/N: Sorry it took so long to update! I was suffering from terrible writer's block... but a small fic later, and I'm feeling pretty good about finishing this thing soon... we'll see. Please read and review - don't think I don't know you're reading and leaving. I can't write good stuff if you don't tell me how I'm doing... remember that! Thanks!