Ascended
Blue Earth, Minnesota…
We sat in what had been Pastor Jim's living room. He hadn't said anything.
Yet.
I hadn't been saying anything myself, not after what I'd done.
I was numb.
I didn't even care that Sam had slipped away and he'd taken the knife with him.
There was nothing to save, nothing left to do…
When you die, when you have nothing, not even a spark of The Light left in you, there isn't anything a Guardian can do. Not even the Lord of Fire could bring her back, none of them could have.
And I let her die.
I let Esme bleed to death, I let her-.
"Mom?"
I didn't want to talk, didn't want to answer the questions I heard them trying not to ask. Her blood was on my hands.
Something of my expression made Sebastían quiet down, made him back off and all I could think of was Ruby.
That bitch…
"Phade."
I looked up but they were all blurry. I blinked trying to get them in focus and felt the tears roll down my cheeks.
I was crying.
Me?
I mean, of course me! But- I hadn't realized it.
"Its finished." I wiped both hands over my eyes ignoring the inquisitive stares from all of them.
"There are still demons out there." Pastor Jim said before anyone had a chance to start. I looked at him, grateful he'd cut in with something other than questions over my tears.
"Then we keep hunting" Bobby replied. His eyes shifted from me to Sebastían and the twins with so may questions he probably didn't know where to start.
"Children." Jo. She didn't have a problem getting her questions out. "He called you 'Mom'." She pointed at Sebastían. Ellen, Bobby and Pastor Jim zeroed in on him, making my boy shift uncomfortably but he was wondering about Jo's comment too.
"They're my children." I said without any hesitation. "My son Sebastían." I placed a hand on his shoulder looking at him and again noticing the changes. My little boy was a young man and though he'd resembled my side of the family when he was younger I could see Sebastían had more of his Father now.
"My twins, Jericho and Valkyrie." Eyes shifted to them where they stood, almost joined at the hip, that's how close they were.
"Twins…" Ellen breathed eyeing all three of them.
"How?" Pastor Jim asked.
"There are books that explain it." Faith said looking at them with a frown. She stood, arms crossed beside Sebastían and myself. I was surprised by her reaction. She didn't like the way my kids were being stared at.
"I don't think that's what he meant, Faith." Willow replied. "It's their ages…"
Pastor Jim nodded,
"Bastían is the oldest." I explained though their looks shifted to the twins. "I know, but ignore how old they look. Bastían is their senior by… nine-ten years?" I looked Sebastían questioning but really I was just trying to remember that far back. It had been a couple of centuries after all.
"Right." Jo scoffed.
"He is." Valkyrie assured.
"He didn't let us forget." Jericho agreed with an eye roll.
"Jericho and Valkyrie weren't born in this dimension. I was… somewhere else at the time and they-."
"Got to live with you." Sebastian cut in. I didn't miss the recrimination in his voice, no one could and he was right to feel that way.
"Dean, did he know about them?" Jo demanded.
"I never told him." The silence was broken by Valkyrie. Her voice questioned his name and now was the moment I should tell them about JD.
"Yes." Jo snapped. "Dean. Her husband and the Father of her youngest child."
"Jo." Ellen reprimanded. She probably felt it wasn't their place to say anything. She was right.
"You-." Sebastían shook his head, lips pressed in a tight line but he didn't say anything else. Not another word to me.
"Mom…" Jericho dropped his crossed arms and shifted.
"Are we…" Valkyrie continued but left the question trail off though her eyes shifted to the hunters.
"Are you what?" Jo demanded looking at us in turn.
The twins were giving me a reprieve and I was taking it. There weren't going to be anymore questions about Dean or JD. I wasn't going to dredge up the past year or the one before-.
"From the very beginning, before the world was brought into being there was light. It has always been."
"There are… other beings, who worship the Light, but they're split." Jericho continued.
"When the planets came into existence, the Light was pleased. Millennia passed and we…well, here we are; only the worshipers of the Light were jealous because the Light found pleasure in our existence." Valkyrie added.
"The Light was dimming. It was spreading too far." This was our history. The reason for our existence in the universe. "The worshipers grew worried; some believed we were to blame. Believed we were harming the Light by being…"
"They wanted us gone." Jericho was blunt. Still, wanting us gone was understatement.
"The worshipers, those who wanted to please the Light knew the Light would be displeased if the Others followed through but neither side could take part in the coming events." That's where we came in. It's why I'd lashed out at Reyth when he said I should hook up with a Guardian and add to our ranks.
He got one more from me in the end, even with all my angry protests…
"Why not?" Jo demanded. She was still mad but their focus had shifted to this, to what we were telling them.
"They could wipe everything out." Jericho answered.
"The Others use demons, like these and others, more obvious." Valkyrie explained with a side glance at Faith.
"Preaching to the choir." She replied with a waved of her hand. "At least these demons aren't all slimy, nasty looking behemoths."
I wasn't the only one looking at Faith with a bit of surprise.
"Behemoths?" Willow questioned.
"What. I been studying." Faith retorted scowling but her skin had flushed. She was embarrassed by the admission.
"So what happened?" Bobby asked drawing us back to the conversation.
"We happened." I replied. There was so much we still hadn't explained, so much we couldn't tell them…
"The Od VaiLumen, good guys, granted long lives and power to those who answered." Valkyrie said and it piqued their curiosity more.
"We are of the Light. Everyone has a choice but most never answer." It was true.
"Why not?" Ellen questioned rubbing a hand up and down her arm.
"I don't know. But I'd guess most never realize what they are capable of and we are not allowed to show them the way." It kept our numbers from building too much and for some reason Fury's and Guardian's didn't…. it was just difficult for them to conceive.
"More rules?" Faith didn't hide the disgust in her voice. Mine echoed it.
"Its how both sides insure the Light continues. The Others believe they are only doing what they are meant to do- Protect the Light. The Od VaiLumen believe they are doing what is right by protecting us because the Light finds us pleasing. Neither side particularly cares one way or another, who wins so long as the Light endures."
"Which is why the Fury's-." Valkyrie cut in.
"And Guardian's." Jericho hooked a thumb at himself, smirking.
"Immediately brings in anyone who answers." Valkyrie finished.
"Why has no one heard of this?" Pastor Jim asked. "There's no mention or reference I've ever come across." He looked at Bobby who shook his head.
"Never found anything either"
"That's because you weren't looking in the right places." Jericho replied.
"Not that you'd notice it anyway." Valkyrie added sounding a bit smug.
"We don't belong in the written world, not really." Jericho shrugged.
"But there are references, few but there." Valkyrie cut in again.
I found myself bounding from one to the other in this conversation and noticed that everyone else was doing so as well.
"A word or two, maybe a sentence in any given place but never more than that in the same work." Jericho explained.
I never really got that. I mean, our ranks are small, smaller than they'd been at any period before. You'd think we'd make our presence more known, or at least not make it so difficult to get some recruits.
"Except for that one…" Valkyrie looked at Jericho, arching an eyebrow.
"Oh right." He agreed.
They were talking about my book, the same book which Kast had planted on Gemma because the Od VaiLumen needed her.
"Kinda playing the needle in the haystack card." Faith's sarcasm didn't mask the disapproval of such tactics. Then again we don't do the one girl krap, either.
"It's how they've gotten this far-." I didn't get any further when Faith cut in with a question of her own.
"So how did PJ answer?"
I sighed. I really wish she'd stop calling me that. After centuries of not hearing it I'm suddenly reminded of how annoying it was to have Guy and Lui tease me about my initials.
"I didn't. Not really. I sort of …stumbled across the runes and just…" did it to myself. I jumped right in without thinking, like I always do. I just keep going forward, keep doing and moving-. It's a wonder I've lived this long.
"Accidentally answered them." Faith finished for me.
"Umm… after Monte Rio and Xyne I couldn't ignore them." I'd decided then without knowing what I was getting into. If I had… I'm not sure I would have done anything different though I wouldn't leave Sebastían behind. I would change that.
"Demon worshipping KKK, Monte Rio?" Bobby asked.
"Why?" but I could guess.
"Boys mentioned something about it." Bobby shrugged.
"The boys?" Really? Because I don't think Sam had much to do with Bobby knowing about Monte Rio.
"Dean." He answered.
"So are we all going to answer now?" Willow wondered before the conversation could switch back to more personal areas.
"You already have and Faith." Valkyrie nodded towards Faith who quickly started to shake her head.
"Woa, no freekin way! I'm a Slayer, I was called there wasn't any choice."
"Only you shine as bright as any of us." Jericho told her. I wasn't surprised they could see it.
"Buffy too." I added with a slight smile, I was trying to at least but even that wasn't good enough. I just wasn't up to it.
"So…" Willow looked at us questioning.
"You're pretty much going to outlive… regular people." Valkyrie revealed rather off handedly.
"You mean they're immortal?" Jo demanded pointing at Faith and Willow.
"They can still die." Jericho shook his head answering.
"Well, that's krap." Faith threw up her hands and turned away from us.
I got what she was thinking. How cool was it to live long enough to see the world change? Let me say, it's really not that cool. Not for us anyway.
"Not really. Look at Buffy. With Xander and Willow's help, she's cheated death twice. As long as a Guardian can heal you in time…" because when they can't get to you, when you die… that's it. You are dead and nothing would change that.
"I'm immortal. Cool… so when do I get mine?" Faith asked turning back to the conversation.
"Uh- no." Valkyrie shook her head. "You're a Slayer Faith not a Fury."
"I don't understand what it has to do with the rest of us." Pastor Jim shook his head. "Faith, Willow and you, you're all mystical beings in some way. We're just human." He waved a hand at Bobby, Jo, Ellen and himself.
"Unless you'd like that to change." The offer was there. It's why we were telling them all of this, the only reason.
"You're going to scare them, Mom." Sebastían spoke up. He didn't look at me, still upset. "You don't have to be like them. You can choose to be like me. If you want…" he trailed off, glancing at his feet feeling a bit embarrassed.
"That's sweet of you honey." Ellen took pity on him. She patted his arm…
"He's right." I said straightening. I was letting myself get distracted when there was work to be done.
"We're already human. Regular human." Jo said with a glance at the twins, Faith and Willow.
"He isn't." I replied. "Sebastían…" I moved to his side, hands reaching for his shirt sleeve but I knew what I was going to find. I'd felt it, felt the change in him. He nodded and having his permission I raised the sleeve to find the black mark shimmering. It had changed but I knew that mark. "You're the first…" I whispered blinking back the sting of new tears.
"It happened when I sent you the last rune." He answered just as soft voiced. His hand rested on mine at his shoulder. I want to think it's his gesture of forgiving me. I'd like to think that…
"I'd heard of it, of this." I cleared my throat, swallowed the lump there and turned with Bastían so they could see. "There haven't been any like him in over a millennia. They died off…"
"What is that?" Bobby asked reaching a finger to trace the symbol.
"The symbol for Tau-Vana's." I replied and just saying the title brought back the awe I'd felt at learning of those few and special beings in our histories.
"The Tau-Vana are immortal-." Valkyrie began to explain.
"Well the same rules apply." Jericho cut in.
"Try not to die. Great." Jo's sarcasm went ignored.
"Your lives are extended," I glanced at them, Bobby, Ellen, Pastor Jim and Jo wondering if they understood all of this, why. "The effects are varied. Some Tau-Vana have an aptitude for telekinesis like Willow."
"But she's all witchy." Faith said with a frown.
"Because of the Light, what there is of it in her." Jericho explained.
"There are even records of some being healers, though most were just super strong and fast." Valkyrie added with a shrug.
"The Tau-Vana had to be in order to do their job." Jericho added and it was that which had the hunters begin to question why we were telling them all of this.
"What…?" Ellen looked at me, ignored anything the twins had started to say. I took a breath and answered her.
"Tau-Vana are in the midst of every battle. What they see is all recorded, they are the record, their memories- everything." Which is why the last one had died in battle. It's where they all died.
"I've been getting weird dreams…" Sebastían murmured.
"It's the memories of those who've died off." Valkyrie assured though she couldn't possibly be sure of that.
"The records are never lost. They pass to the next…" Jericho was looking at his brother with concern.
"It's been more than dreams." I said looking at Sebastían. "Hasn't it?" but he wouldn't answer, he didn't wasn't to say anything about this-.
"What does it mean?" Bobby asked. "Tau-Vana."
"There's not an exact translation for that but the closest I can figure is 'eyes'." I'd asked that question myself, asked Aquilles and Ahalya, went to Nazrin, then Tane but they all sent me to Nisha who wasn't exactly a fan of mine. Still, I went to her and even she didn't have the exact translation for that title. Or maybe she didn't want to tell me. "Tau-Vana's are like … watchers. You see and that is what becomes our history. Its how the next generation is taught."
"You want us to…" Ellen trailed off, her eyes straying to the mark on Sebastían's upper arm, now covered again by his sleeve.
"No, I'm giving you the choice." I said. That's how this is done. The Powers give us a choice and nothing else. There's no 'this is what happens if you choose this' or 'this is what happens if you don't'. They put the choice before you with as little information as possible, which is none at all.
"So we won't grow old….what about these abilities?" Pastor Jim asked. I was silent for a moment then sighed.
"There's no knowing who gets what. It's just how you are." They weren't asking the right questions. They didn't know how this was going to change their lives and I'd expected Pastor Jim to be more reluctant but he was sounding more and more curious.
"A little speed don't hurt none, Ellen." Bobby shrugged.
Why is it men are much more willing to jump into peril without really thinking about their mortality?
"That's not what worries me." Ellen replied looking warily at me, I could feel her distrust and wanted to tell her she was right to feel that way. Nothing the Od VaiLumen did was without its price and that price was always very high and painful.
"I'll do it."
I ground my teeth.
"Jo-." Ellen protested.
"I choose." Jo glared at her Mother. "Now what?" she turned to me, ignored Ellen's hurt silence…
Sebastían shifted but his hesitation was short lived. He knew what he was supposed to do and he moved, stopping in front of Jo.
"Tell him where you want it." Jericho nodded. He rolled his eyes at Jo's look and jutted his chin towards Sebastían. "The mark."
"Oh." Jo blushed and covered it by looking at herself. She fumbled with her shirt hem finally pulling it up and yanking her jeans lower.
Sebastían hesitated but took a breath and placed his palm on Jo's hip. We all heard the sizzle, it wasn't obvious but with all the held breaths it seemed to roar in the charred living room. Jo bit her lip, the grunt of pain her only complaint and then Bastían let go. Jo staggered, bumping into Ellen who'd reached for her. She fell to her knees clutching at her head. Furniture rattled and the wave spread until the entire house shook again.
"Telekinesis!" Jericho grinned, excited.
"Mental midget. She's in pain." Valkyrie snapped jabbing her elbow into his ribs.
"That will pass." I replied emotionless. I stared at them, at Ellen comforting Jo, smoothing blond strands of hair out of her face. Her eyes were wet, bloodshot and a smudge of blood decorated her upper lip.
My son. My child did this to her…
"Who's next?" Jericho asked, his excitement not at all restrained by Valkyrie's disapproving look.
w
We have four Tau-Vana's. A new generation to keep track of all our mistakes…
I think it's hardest on Pastor Jim. He's a man of God after all. Only God isn't exactly as he thought. Everyone is of the Light…
Ellen chose because of Jo. She thinks it'll make a difference, that she can protect her little girl somehow… it would have been a blessing to have three healers but Ellen's gift is empathy. Maybe that's because she's a Mother…
Pastor Jim, well he'll be useful… he can help the Guardian's heal along with Sebastían.
At the last moment Bobby decided it wasn't his time to leave.
I know why he's staying.
I know he thinks there's something he can do…..