"Why are you so nervous?"
"You'd be nervous, too, if you were about to see your crazy parents."
"Fair point," Leonard admitted. He and Penny were standing in the baggage claim area to meet her parents.
"That's them," Penny said, nodding towards an aging couple walking towards them. The woman was short and plump, while the man was at least six feet tall. A wide grin grew on Mary's face when she saw Penny.
"There's my girl!" she said happily as she threw her arms around Penny. "Oh, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages, dear!"
"It's good to see you, too, Mom," Penny said a bit insincerely as she tried to distance herself a little.
"Is this him?" Wyatt asked, pointing at Leonard.
"Yes, it is," Penny said. "Mom, Dad, this is my fiancé, Leonard. Leonard, these are my parents, Mary and Wyatt Johnson."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir, ma'am," Leonard said as she shook each of their hands, trying to make a good first impression.
"What a gentleman!" Mary said happily. "Penny, I can already tell that this is the best man you've ever dated!"
"Leonard, I would like to sit down with you and have a talk. Could you do that?" Wyatt asked.
"Oh, uh, sure. No problem. Would-Would you like to have lunch tomorrow, or—"
"I think I'd rather sit you down this evening and chat," Wyatt told him.
"Whatever you'd like, Mr. Johnson," Leonard said.
"Good. Penny, why don't you take your mother out to dinner while Leonard and I get to know each other a little better?" Wyatt suggested.
"I don't know, Dad. Maybe I should be there," Penny said skeptically.
"I need to talk to him man-to-man to make sure he's fit for you, Penny Rose. You go out and show your mother Los Angeles," Wyatt said in a tone that told everyone what he said would go.
"Oh, can we go see those stars on the street?" Mary asked with an excited gleam in her eyes.
"I guess so," Penny said with a small sigh.
"I got us a rental car. Why don't you take your mother out to dinner, and Leonard and I will find a place to chat," Wyatt said.
"Leonard, will you be okay?" Penny asked her fiancé.
"Of course. Go have fun with your mom," Leonard told her, though in reality, he was feeling very nervous as he wondered what kind of questions his future father-in-law would ask.
"Alright. Mom and I will take the bags and see you guys later." Penny kissed Leonard's cheek before she and Mary headed for the luggage carousel.
"Come on, Leonard. Let's get the car," Wyatt said as he led the way to the rental car area. When he was handed the keys, Wyatt walked with Leonard to the car lot until he found the one assigned to him.
"Would you like me to drive?" Leonard offered.
"I know how to drive a car," Wyatt told him.
"Oh, I-I know you do. I was just saying, you know, since I live here and I know my way around town—"
"You can give me directions. I'm driving," Wyatt said definitively as he got behind the wheel.
"This is gonna be a long night," Leonard said to himself as he circled the car and got in the passenger's side.
"So where would you like to go to talk?" Leonard asked.
"Where's the best sports bar?" Wyatt asked.
"Sports bar…" Leonard repeated as he tried to think of one. "Uh, I could find one on my phone."
"Man oughtta know where the best sports bar is," Wyatt said with a small sigh. Leonard's anxiety started to rise, feeling like he was blowing it before it even began.
"You know, I think my friend did tell me about a bar," Leonard said, remembering Howard mentioning his favorite bar to pick up women before he married Bernadette. "I'll tell you where to go."
Leonard managed to direct Wyatt to the bar. They got out of the car, walked inside, and sat down at the wooden countertop, where the bartender was serving drinks left and right.
"Um, can I get you a bottle of wine or a beer?" Leonard offered.
"What is this, breakfast?" Wyatt replied.
"Oh. Well, what would you like?" Leonard asked.
"Two Jack Daniel's, straight!" Wyatt called to the bartender. He gave him a thumbs up, then started to make their drinks.
"Jack Daniel's is whiskey, right?" Leonard asked.
"Son, do you not know anything about alcohol?" Wyatt wondered.
"I'm not…the biggest drinker," Leonard admitted.
"Here you are, fellas," the bartender said as he placed the two drinks in front of them.
"Drink that," Wyatt commanded Leonard as he picked up his glass and knocked back the liquor. A bit apprehensive, but not wanting to disappoint his future father-in-law, Leonard picked up the drink and took a small sip. He nearly gagged, but managed to choke it down without making too much of a face.
"So, Leonard Hofstadter," Wyatt began.
"Yes, sir."
"I'd like to get to know the man that my daughter wants to marry," Wyatt said. "Why don't you tell me what you do for a living?"
"I'm an experimental physicist at the California Institute of Technology," Leonard told him.
"Is that a science thing?"
"Yes, sir."
"Hmm," Wyatt said.
"Is that a good 'hmm' or a bad 'hmm'?" Leonard wondered.
"It's an 'I'm interested' 'hmm,'" Wyatt said enigmatically. "How long have you been doing that?"
"Since I got my doctorate ten years ago."
"Doctorate, huh?"
"Yes, sir."
"Hmm," Wyatt said again. "You've obviously gone to college. Where'd you go?"
"I actually went to Princeton."
"Ivy League, right?" Wyatt asked. Leonard nodded. "Hmm."
"You are very fond of that expression," Leonard observed.
"I'm just wondering what drew my daughter to you," Wyatt said.
"You wouldn't think Penny would be attracted to me?" Leonard asked.
"Not exactly. You're just not the kind of guy I've always seen her with, for which I am very grateful," Wyatt said. "Penny's always dated go-nowhere deadbeats. I don't know why she started dating an Ivy League scientist, but I'm glad she did."
"You had me nervous there," Leonard told him.
"Don't worry so much, Leonard. I just want to get to know you more," Wyatt said.
"Whatever you want to know," Leonard told him.
"I don't know. What's your favorite team?" Wyatt asked.
"My favorite team?" Leonard repeated. Wyatt nodded. "Like sports team?"
"Can you even think of one?"
"Sure. There's the, uh, Lions up in Chicago."
"I think you mean the Cubs," Wyatt said.
"Oh. Yeah, maybe," Leonard said as he felt his cheeks flush.
"Leonard, I don't want you to pretend to be someone you're not. I want you to be honest with me," Wyatt said.
"I…I don't want to lie to you, Mr. Johnson. I just want you to like me," Leonard said so quietly, it was difficult for Wyatt to hear him over the din in the bar.
"Why do you want me to like you?" he asked Leonard.
"Because…Because I love your daughter, Mr. Johnson. I love her more than I can say, and I want to marry her more than I've ever wanted anything," Leonard said.
"Why do you want to marry her? Why do you love her?"
"Because she's smart, and she's hilarious, and she's beautiful. And because she loves me," Leonard told him. "I never…When I was growing up, I never really experienced a lot of affection. My parents were obsessed with their jobs and I didn't have any friends. Then I got to college, and all I wanted to focus on was academics because I thought that it was me who had the problem. And then I met Penny. I don't think she knows just how much she's helped me. She taught me that, you know…I am likable and even loveable. Penny is the sweetest person I've ever met, but at the same time, she doesn't take crap from anyone, and I love that. I'm just crazy about your daughter, Mr. Johnson, and I never want to lose her." Penny's father stared at Leonard for a long time. Just when Leonard began to feel nervous that he had said something wrong, he smiled.
"Call me Wyatt," he told him.
"Really?" Leonard asked.
"You're gonna be my son-in-law, aren't you? You better not be calling me Mr. Johnson for the rest of my life," Wyatt said. Leonard couldn't stop himself from smiling, relieved that he had made a good first impression.
"Thank you, Wyatt," Leonard said.
"Sure." Wyatt pointed at Leonard's untouched whiskey. "You gonna finish that?"
"No," Leonard told him.
"Good." Wyatt picked up the glass, knocked back the drink, then slammed it on the table. "What do you say we go back to your apartment building so you can talk to your future mother-in-law and kiss that beautiful bride of yours?"
"That is a great idea." Leonard pulled out his wallet and paid the bill, then followed Wyatt out to the car and gave him directions to the apartment. While Wyatt drove, Leonard thought about the major victory he had just accomplished, and wished he could make it so Penny could feel the same.