Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and I do not profit from this work.
Warnings: pre-incest, language, implied adult situations.
Lost and Found
There's nothing we can do about the things we have to do without.
- Goo Goo Dolls; Let Love In.
True to her word, Violet went to find her brother in the early hours of the morning. She was surprised to see him already awake and staring into space, as if he were in a trance.
"Klaus?" She touched him and he flinched. The burning sensation hadn't abated; in the mere span of a few hours, it had only grown more powerful. His heartbeat quickened, the pounding louder than a steel drum. What's wrong with me? If she finds out...
"Klaus, haven't you slept at all?" Her hand was light on his arm.
"I'm fine," he said quickly, and he shifted away. She's too close... He was afraid of what he might do, didn't trust himself to be near her anymore. "I... I just needed to think. I'll take it from here."
She watched his back as he left to take his turn as lookout, a thin veil of worry shrouding her like mist. He'd changed so much, her brother. I never thought about it before... When he held onto her, she'd felt the tense, wiry muscles in his arms and in his shoulders. How strong he is... taller than me now... a man. Except for his mop of brown hair- the last trace of his boyhood. And his eyes...
Feeling restless, she noticed that the cold night air had turned balmy, as if it were springtime and not the last days of fall. A mild breeze wafted over her, rich with the scent of orange blossoms. What's going on? The little thicket, awash in moonlight, seemed almost otherworldly.
She didn't know that she had fallen asleep until she saw the woman. Long auburn hair, the same color as hers, done up properly in a bun, and the dress, full-skirted and emerald green. It had always been her mother's favorite.
"Mother?" Violet took a tentative step forward, and then another. "What are you doing here?"
The woman welcomed her with a loving smile, and open arms. " My daughter. "
Violet embraced her in a heartbeat; overcome with a feeling she thought she'd lost forever- the unending love of her mother.
"I'm so scared, Mother. Sometimes I feel so alone."
" Oh Violet," her mother's smile was like sunlight breaking through clouds. "You already have everything you need. Love is all around you, if you would but see it."
She held her daughter at arms length. "You are not alone. Remember, darling, my blessing goes with you wherever you are." And with that, she was gone like the night.
Stifling a sob, Violet tried to catch her breath. And suddenly, she realized that Sunny was lying next to her, watchful and wide awake. Was it all a dream? Her dark thoughts dissolved as she tried to smile at her little sister. "Hi," she said.
"Hi," came the soft reply. "Violet, do you know what?"
"What?" her smile warmed.
" I'm glad we're together."
" Oh, Sunny," Violet scooped her into a hug. " I love you. You know that, right?" Thank you, Mother. I'll always make sure that she knows your love, through me.
"Right," Sunny grinned. "I love you too."
Their brother was still at his post a few feet away, a stoic sentry on guard. She could see him, leaning against an ash tree, his form like a shadow in the blue, pre-dawn glow.
"Klaus?"
He started when she spoke, glanced over his shoulder apprehensively, as if he were afraid of them. No, not afraid of us, she realized. Afraid me. Is it because he cried? Boys aren't supposed to, but whoever made that rule didn't have the sense they were born with. He ought to know by now; I won't think less of him for that... "How's your ankle?"
"I'll manage," he sounded hoarse. "We have to find the road, Vi. It'll be snowing before long."
"We'll find it," the leaves crunched under her boots as she walked up, hand in hand with Sunny, and it took all his effort to deny the persistent tugging in his heart.
He wanted to smooth back her hair, to kiss her eyes and her mouth and- NoNoNo! She is my sister. It was agony to look at her, and he could only stare plaintively at the ground.
This was wrong- very, very wrong; he'd spent the whole night trying to convince himself of that fact. But, like a dam breached by a tidal wave, the feelings had surfaced and he couldn't stop them, could only try to stay afloat as he was swept along. He felt a sudden urge to run, knew that he wouldn't get far.
Not without her...
He had nothing if he didn't have his sisters. How could he ever imagine leaving Violet and Sunny? Even with two good legs, I couldn't do it. But what about Violet... What if I can't control this and I- No! He forced the idea out of his head. I have to protect her, even if it's from myself. I have to...
His trail of thought was disrupted as Sunny hugged him. "Hey," he said, and he hugged her back. This precious little girl... He knew that he was a hero in her eyes. I just hope I never disappoint her. The mere thought of it frightened him beyond words. If I have to leave... Her spirit will be crushed, because of me. And Violet...I don't want to hurt them... I can't stay and I can't go.
He released his little sister, and against his will, his eyes were drawn to where Violet stood, watching the sun rise over the fields.
"Look," she said, as Sunny's little hand clasped hers. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"
But he only saw her.
At seventeen, she was no stranger to shattered dreams, to betrayal and deceit and cruelty. Yet here, in the first light of morning, with the two people she loved most in the world, Violet couldn't help but believe in a new beginning. It was so close, she could almost hear it- the promise that something better waited for them, just ahead.
"We'll always be together, won't we?" Sunny gazed up at her expectantly.
"Of course," Violet reassured her. "We won't let anything tear us apart."
Klaus felt a lump forming in his throat. The words rang hollow, a mirage in his ears. What would she say if she knew...
They traveled nearly half a day before they found a small, two-lane highway, with so many potholes that they wondered if it had been abandoned. There was no traffic, and no one else around.
Klaus' ankle had improved steadily, but Violet still thought that he was pushing himself too hard, and she frequently insisted that they stop to rest. "We all need it," she told him. " This road must lead somewhere- a town, most likely."
"Yeah," he said. "But what if it's a ghost town?"
"Will there really be ghosts?" Sunny asked, fascinated. "I want to see one."
He hated stopping. While they were on the move, he could focus on the pain in his leg, on putting one foot in front of the other. But as soon as he had a chance to think, unacceptable urges invaded his mind like a virus. And he lacked the willpower to keep them at bay.
The Baudelaires walked for miles, until they were all as exhausted as they'd ever been. Klaus dug one of their few remaining apples out of the suitcase, and he handed it to Sunny. Her head drooped, as if she were about to nod off.
"C'mere," he picked her up, her sleepy form limp like a rag doll. " I'll carry you for awhile."
She murmured something that he couldn't make out, but he guessed it was a protest.
"It's okay," he said, and his voice was the last thing she heard before she fell asleep on his shoulder.
He turned, to find Violet staring at him with an unfathomable expression. She recovered almost instantly, and went to take the apple from him. "I'll put it away," she said quietly. A silent understanding passed between them in that moment. We can't afford to waste anything.
She was his partner again, his friend. And if he'd doubted it before, he knew better now. I love her... in every way there is, I love her...
He looked at her then, with his heart in his eyes. She felt weak, as if there were no strength in her body at all. But in the corner of her vision, something glittered, a hint of sunlight on metal. She glanced to the side, and there it was: a dingy white and green sign, half-concealed by a sparse patch of bushes.
"Klaus, do you see that?" She shielded her eyes with one hand. " I think we've arrived."
He strode over to investigate while she gathered their things. " Welcome to Lummoxville," he read aloud. " Population: 1,343. Do you think they'd agree to add a few more?"
" Let's have a look around," she said. " Before we decide to be added."
At first glance, the town seemed little more than a cluster of lumber and brick structures. The one nearest them was drab and grey, with paint peeling from its old, wood siding. Raucous laughter filtered out through the open door, punctured with the odors of alcohol and cigarettes.
Klaus looked at her doubtfully. "Vi, are you sure about this?"
"We need work, Klaus, and a place to spend the night. There may be a motel."
"You want to ask them?" He nodded toward the building. " What makes you think they'll help us?"
"We have to try," she said. " At least they might give us directions."
But she changed her mind when a couple of drunken men staggered out, and saw her. Their catcalls and whistles brought other men to the doorway. "Hey there, sweetheart," sneered one with a gold front tooth. "Whas your name?" His speech was slurred.
"It's not sweetheart," she returned coolly, and her brother tried to suppress a grin. Violet lifted her chin, to show them she was unafraid, would not be intimidated. And she had to admit, it was so much easier to be strong with Klaus by her side.
He stood there, every muscle taught, his fists clenched as if he were ready to fight them all. She didn't want to see that. "Klaus, let's get out of here," she slid her hand into his, to calm him, but he pulled away.
He couldn't take this, his brave, beautiful sister, so near... the knowledge of what those men wanted to do to her. I'll kill them… And what he wanted... A thousand different feelings raged inside his head, all of them crushed beneath one certainty: he would protect Violet and Sunny. No matter what...
"We're going, now." She grabbed the suitcase and took his arm, as if they were out for an evening stroll. "Just walk," she said. "They're all slobbering drunk. If they try to come after us, it won't be hard to lose them."
And she was correct. Although a few people stared in mild surprise, no one else harassed them as they made their way down the street.
"I guess they don't get many visitors," he remarked to Violet.
"Not many like us, anyway," she smiled wryly. " We must seem very young to them, Klaus. Too young to be on our own."
"Well, we are, aren't we?"
" No, we're not," she told him. " Perhaps they're thinking of the way things should be. But we don't have any should, we only have what is."
"We've come this far," she continued. " If we're too young, what does it matter? We're different from most people, Klaus."
"Maybe not," he said. "Maybe we've just been tested more." She could almost see the wheels turning in his mind. " But they could be us," he snapped his fingers. " Just like that, they could be us." And he sighed. "They'll never really understand us, will they?
"I don't think so. That's why we'll have to understand them."
He looked at her sharply. His elder sister, so full of empathy for her family, for everyone… How well did she understand him? Does she know? Sometimes, he was sure that she could hear his thoughts. He was no good at keeping secrets from her. But then again, he'd never really tried.
Sunny was starting to wake up. " Where are we?" She wanted to know, and Klaus set her on her feet, telling her they'd made it to a town.
"Stay with us, okay?" Violet gripped the little girl's hand, and he realized the gang of drunk men had frightened her more than she let on.
His heart constricted painfully. I'll never let anyone hurt her.
Soon, they came to a part of town with well-maintained storefronts and sidewalks swept clean of debris. There were businesses here, an auto repair shop, and even a little park with maple wood benches, where they stopped to rest.
Sunny sneezed, and Violet studied her with concern. "You're not feeling sick, are you?"
"No, I'm not," she said. But she sneezed again.
When they asked him about jobs in town, the mechanic laughed, and directed them to the Hardware and Goods store. It was there that they met Mr. Engles, the owner, a grandfatherly figure who reminded Sunny of Uncle Monty.
In his pinstriped apron, he seemed like a relic from another time. And he gave them a friendly welcome. "We don't see new faces around here too often."
Since he didn't ask questions about them or offer them anything, Violet warmed to him, and lowered her guard a bit. He only wanted to know how they liked the town.
Klaus bristled when she mentioned their encounter with the drunkards, thinking she shouldn't say too much. But the shopkeeper only shook his head in disgust.
"Our more derelict citizens," he said. "Always in some sort of trouble. They can be a problem, but most people are decent in these parts. I hope you won't think too badly of us because of a few rotten apples."
"Oh no," Violet smiled politely. "In fact, we were hoping to find work here."
"Well, I wish I could help you," he said with regret. " But that's part of the problem. Plenty of those folks at the bar would be working, if we had jobs for them. Lots of places closing up and moving on. We used to have an unemployment office, but that's gone as well. Hard times all around, if you see what I mean."
She nodded, masking her disappointment. "Are there other towns nearby?"
" I'm afraid not. There are some large farm spreads a few miles out, but nothing else for about three hundred miles or so."
"We need a place to stay," Klaus added. " Is there a motel around here?"
"One," the shopkeeper said thoughtfully. " Two blocks down, turn left, then go three blocks over. But I warn you, it's not exactly a first-rate establishment, if you catch my meaning."
" I see," Violet smiled again. " Thank you, you've been very kind."
"You kids be careful, now," he called after them as they went through the door.
The motel was not a first-rate establishment, to say the least. The man behind the counter had clearly neglected the finer points of personal hygiene for quite some time. From the stench that hit her nose, Violet figured he hadn't bathed in weeks; he made her think of the last city they'd lived in, and the sewer rats she'd seen scurrying in the drainage tunnels.
She had to force herself to approach him. We're running out of options. Why am I being so timid? I'll just pay for the room and be done with him.
He smiled at her, but it only made him seem more like a rodent.
"We need a room." She tried to forget her trepidation, to be calm and direct.
"You're a pretty little thing," his eyes raked over her body suggestively. "We could make a deal."
A wave of revulsion swamped her, and she took a step back. "No, that won't be necessary."
"Aw, come on, darlin'. One time, and I won't charge you nothin' to stay here."
"We need a room," she repeated impassively. "We'll pay your standard rate."
"Whatsa matter? You too good or somethin'? "
She felt Klaus beside her then, and she had never been more thankful for his presence. He glared at the man, but when he spoke, his voice was controlled. "She said 'No.' Do you want our business or not?"
"Hey, looks like you could use a break, s'all."
How generous. You're a real prince, she thought. Her brother was as angry as he'd ever been, and she hoped there wouldn't be a scene. The last thing we need is to draw more attention to ourselves.
The man paused, apparently sizing them up. "150 for a week," he finally drawled out.
"But we just want a room for one night," she objected, knowing their dwindling funds would not stretch that far.
"We only rent by tha week." He grinned snidely. The lie could not have been more obvious if it were written on his face.
Her eyes narrowed into slits. "I don't believe you."
"Now, that don't change a thing." He seemed to enjoy her discomfiture, and Violet didn't have to guess at the reason. The man dangled a room key in front of them. "Just one time," he said lecherously.
"Let's go. We're not staying here." Before she could respond, Klaus had maneuvered her out the door.
The severity of their plight finally dawned on her as they headed into the cold afternoon once more. There was an icy bite to the wind, and she led her family into the shelter of a nearby building. I think it's going to freeze tonight.
Klaus leaned exhaustedly against the wall, and with Sunny, she came to stand alongside him.
Her brother still walked with a limp, though he was trying valiantly to hide it. Sunny sneezed again, shivering, and Violet held her closer; she seemed sleepy, almost lethargic.
He's in more pain than he'll admit, and she's catching a cold. We really need that room...The prospect made her cringe, even as she considered it."Klaus," she looked him straight in the eye. "Maybe I should do it."
"No!" He was adamant. "You know what he wants, Vi. How can you even think of doing that?"
"I'll do it for Sunny." And I'll do it for you...
The youngest Baudelaire seemed to perk up at hearing her name. "Don't go," she said, tugging at Violet's sleeve. She hadn't understood most of the conversation in the motel, but she knew enough: the foul-smelling man wanted to do something awful to her sister.
"Violet, he'll hurt you. Don't go."
"It doesn't matter what happens to me." She bent down to kiss Sunny's forehead. " I can't have you spend another night outside." But now she was shaking as much as her little sister- repulsed by the knowledge of what she had to do. For a moment, she closed her eyes, as if bracing herself for the worst. "I'll make a deal with him."
She was prepared to go back into the rundown motel, but Klaus grabbed her arm.
"I won't let you." His stomach twisted at the thought of that rough, vile man...with Violet...
"You said yourself, we can't be innocent anymore.I don't need your permission, Klaus." Her tone was harsher than she'd intended. She didn't want to talk about this, not now, not in front of Sunny. Their little sister was far too perceptive for her own good.
"Klaus," she said, more gently. "Let go of my arm."
"No." The look on his face made her want to cry. "You're not going to do this."
"There's nowhere else to go," she felt as if she might collapse. "We've been all over town- this is the only motel."
"Then we won't stay in a motel." His hands gripped her shoulders, his eyes imploring. "We'll find another way."
"Look at Sunny," she shook her head. "Look at you! We can't go on like this."
He'd seen her like this once before, so beaten down and… disheartened. He didn't want to think on that day- the day of the marvelous marriage- but it was branded into him, like a scar inside his brain. No, you're not gonna go through with this…. I have to….
He had almost lost her then. And I'll be damned if I let her go now.