Hi guys, I am here with a new chapter to this one. Hope you all like it! This one is from Rachel's POV. So, read and review.

Chapter 6 : It Should Not Have Been You

by poojaicp

I signal for a cab in the morning. Thankfully, it is the day after Thanksgiving, there would be no traffic and for once, Mr Zelner would not glare at me for being late for the conference.

I quickly hail a cab and give the cabby the directions to work. I smile at the view of the roads. Not many people work the day after such a big festival as Thanksgiving. This reminds me of last night and my expression changes.

I cannot believe what happened last night at dinner. A secret was revealed, something I could not even imagine in my dreams.

The rumor of me being half male and half female!

And what did Chandler call me? The hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island. I groan as the cab makes a sharp turn. The cabby briefly looks back at me and apologizes, not knowing my frustration is not because of him.

It is because of Ross. He started the rumor!

Ross, who fell for me when he was just fifteen years old.

Ross, who was my first and is my only one true love.

Ross, who is the father of my baby.

How could he do that? And to hear that from a stranger. Will, was it? Well, I could care less about his name. But, how he looked at me when I entered the apartment. It all makes sense now. Like a fool, I thought he was being sexy. And he was Ross' best friend in High School? How could Ross even hang out with someone who felt so much of hatred towards me? I mean, he claims he has always loved me, has he not? Well, platonic-ally if not romantically. Why would he start that lame club with him?

'I hate Rachel Greene Club'

I sigh looking out of the window, but actually staring at nothing. Gradually I start seeing my own reflection in the window glass. My face. I realize that this face had been mean to so many people in high school. Will said himself, I made his life miserable. And to think I did the same to Ross? If only I had seen beyond the looks. But it was a time I just could not see that.

I close my eyes and start to think about the old days. I actually did not give it much thought just before today. Whenever I used to think about it when we were going out, I would just push it away from my mind, thinking that it did not matter. We got together, it was going great and the past did not matter. High school did not matter. But after last night... I shake my head in disgust with myself.

The Altman story was still true, but to think back all those years ago, I gave him a real hard time. I used to make fun of him and his geeky-ness in front of my popular friends. I did not even pay attention to him when he tried to talk to me. I used to spend so much time at the Geller house, his house. Not once did I make an effort to get to know the sweet guy behind the geeky looks. I mean, I was a real bitch.

God, and he still wanted to take me to the prom? Just to save me from getting insulted? Did he actually love me that unconditionally? Does he still?

I smile at the thought. Maybe a little part of him would always love me. Just like I would always love him. No matter what happens between us in the future. We might end up together, we might not. But we are each others first love, and that is a fact that cannot be changed. First love is always that special.

A single tear makes its way down my cheek when I realize that. The cab stops and it seems like I have reached. Still in a daze, I pay the driver and walk into the building.

Only if I could go back in time so that I could save him from my bad side who made everybody's life miserable. I can only think of one thing, that I need to apologize to Ross for High School. I know it cannot take back what I did. But I won't be able to live with myself if I do not.

I enter the conference hall and take an empty seat, and think when could I say sorry to him. He is supposed to meet me at the doctor's later in the afternoon, maybe then. I stroke my flat belly unknowingly. Oh I cannot believe I am having a baby with him. This feels like a dream. Never ever did I think about being a mother. To Ross' child nonetheless. Sure, Ross planned out our whole future when we had just been together for a matter of six weeks. With the children's name.

That was also the day when said our first 'I love you'. I distinctly remember the events leading up to the moment. And true to 'Ross and Rachel' fashion, we confessed our feelings by yelling at each other. I chuckle to myself at the memory.

"Hey, Rachel. Good Morning" My assistant asks as she sits next to me. I greet her back as I see half of the chairs are filled with people, amidst my thoughts.

(...)

I sit in the lounge with the latest issue of Vogue in my hand, waiting for Dr Long to get free from the previous patient. I gasp as I see the picture of Julia Roberts in her ravishing dress. I turn the page when I hear a voice.

"Hey, Rach" I look up at him walking towards me. He takes a seat next to me on the couch. I smile.

"Hey, you"

"I'm sorry I got late but I had taken Ben to the Museum, so.." He trailed off.

"It's fine" I say with a 'no big deal' wave . "You did not miss anything" I say as I close the magazine. He smiles back at me.

I open my mouth to start the conversation that has taken up all my thoughts all day but my name gets called by the receptionist for the appointment. We both stand up and make our way towards the room.

(...)

Ross entered the room after I changed and stood near my head, not wanting to make me angry. I smile at the memory of the first time we were both here to see our baby. Together we waited for the doctor.

"How was your day?" He asked, breaking the silence that had fallen upon us.

"It was fine. Zelner was impressed by a couple of my ideas at the conference. So yeah, it was quite good"

"That's nice. I told Ben he was going to be a big brother soon. I hope you don't mind"

"Oh, no. It's all right. Was he happy?" I ask knowing the kid had always wanted a younger sibling, but his parents unconventional living situation did not help much.

"Oh, yeah. He was ecstatic" He smiled. "He actually asked me if he could come with me when I told I had to go to the Doctor's to see the baby"

I chuckle at his words. "I'll bet he'd be a great big brother"

He nodded while smiling.

"You know, Ross? The whole day I was thinking about last night"

He gives me a confused look.

"I mean, to know that I was such a bitch in high school is one thing. But, to know that I was so careless about others' feeling, especially yours. It just..." I trail off, not knowing how to finish the sentence.

"What brought this on, Rach?"

"Nothing. Just, listening to Will last night made me realize how much I regret being such an ass to you in high school. I mean, you were always so sweet and kind to me.." I look down ashamed. "..and I always took advantage of that" My eyes glisten a bit, and he notices my emotional tone. He takes hold of my hand.

"Rach?" He calls and lifts my face up to make me look at him. I do. "You don't have to feel that way, okay? You see, I don't think about it that way. I know what peer pressure does to us, Rach. Your group of friends had a great influence on you, and I get that. I knew deep down you were a kind girl. The fact that this thing is bothering you so much tells me how caring you are as a person" He lets the words sink in and kisses my forehead. I revel in the feeling of his lips on my skin. He pulls away and I'm already smiling.

"Thanks Ross. I feel so much lighter. I just feel that, you know, it should not have been you"

I say intending that I could have at least spared him by my bitchy nature.

He gives me a look that says he understands.

So how did you like it? A little different from the previous ones, I know. But watching that episode recently made me think about Rachel's thoughts.