TadasexRima—fairytale princess

"Aw, don't be like that!" The blonde girl then sneezed, pulling the covers of her bed tightly around her shoulders.

"… This is embarrassing. Even for me…"

Rima pouted at her friend's expression. "Tadase, you look fine. Seriously."

"… This is never going to work. I don't sound like you. I don't look like you—"

"Don't be so whiny. You look fine. All those extensions really did the job."

"Haven't you always wanted long hair?"

"Not particularly…"

"Well, you're the one who says that new experiences are a good thing." Rima fidgeted in her bed. "Thanks for doing this. I mean that."

"You're welcome. It's just… Do I have to?"

Rima giggled. "Well, I'm not better. I don't feel good at all. And you know what they say, don't you?"

Tadase turned to face her; his hair by his waist, makeup covering his face, his nails and entire body absolutely covered in pink. Not just any pink, either—this was the fluffy kind of pink dress that needed slips and a hoop skirt and had that "butt thing" (as Tadase coined it) that stuck out in the back. It even had a pink bow around the middle, tied above the "butt thing."

"… What do they say?"

"The show must go on! And since you're the only one with blond hair, alternate boy…"

"Yeah, yeah. I got it." Tadase uncharacteristically muttered, his shoulders hunched and face a deep red.

"You look beautiful, though. No matter what they say."

"…" Tadase turned back to the sniffling, coughing girl with a small smile. "So do you."

Rimahiko - A digital clock with a yellow border

"Well, there ain't no way I'm not ending up with that man!"

"Oh yeah!?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yeah!?"

"I SAID YEAH!"

The two girls glared at each other on the screen, making Rima edge closer to the end of the couch as she watched with eager eyes. Nagihiko never would have though that the beautiful queen of the school was interested in something so… ridiculous. He'd never heard of the American show. He didn't understand the plot (well, he didn't think there was much plot to be understood) and it just seemed so pointless. And yet Rima's gaze was transfixed on the screen. Her mouth was wide in awe.

Nagihiko vaguely understood English. There were a few words here and there he didn't know, but for the most part from what he could gather this show really had no purpose.

It had started with some guy—the one all the girls wanted and 'loved'—coming down the stairs with a digital watch hanging from his chest. And if that wasn't odd enough, it had a yellow border. It was just odd because yellow was such a weird color. And then there was the fact that his name was "Flava Flav." Nagihiko had never heard of such a thing before. "Flava Flav"… it hopefully was just a nickname because Nagihiko felt undeniably sorry for the guy, except for the fact he had several women throwing themselves at him all the time.

Not that he wanted Rima to hang all over him, but a hug every now and then wouldn't hurt. And he deserved it after sitting through whatever this foreign nonsense was. And maybe this show could influence her not so anti-touch-Nagihiko?

"BITCH!"

"YOU'RE THE BITCH, BITCH!"

Rima giggled. "They're both bitches!"

Nagihiko sweatdropped. Or maybe it would influence her in other ways.

Miseki- Dresses and hentai or Kisses and masculinity

There are certain actions that a royal simply should not have to perform.

Since I happen to be royalty, I can easily refute all those who challenge my opinions. It is blatantly obvious they are all wrong anyway. If you go against what I think, you're wrong. I am always right. I have never been wrong. And what? You say I have? What you say is wrong. Pathetic commoners such as you have no brain to think with anyway. You are just a miserable cretin put on this earth to do my bidding and serve me, obviously. What else would you be good for?

I refuse this task. What nonsense is this? This… this pathetic little miserable wench comes up to me and asks me for what? For a kiss? This peasant is out of her mind. First of all, I would never kiss such disgusting, unsanitary lips as hers. Who knows where her disgusting mouth has been. Peasant germs are to stay with peasants. Second, why in the world does she think someone as magnificent as me would ever stoop to such a low and present her with an object of affection like a kiss? That thought is preposterous, although I'm sure the commoner dreams of such a thing. I cannot blame her; it would be hard to find a person who doesn't dream of me. But does she really think this is some kind of fairy tale where I am her prince or knight in shining armor? I am no such thing. I am King. Kings do not rescue ugly little whores from their low-life positions. Kings order the execution of such pathetic human beings that believe in such a ridiculous notion of love. Love? Affection? What is that?

I understand what this "love" is. I know everything because I am King. And love is everything that is stupid and impossible combined under one short word that means absolutely nothing to anyone but pathetic fools who will never have anything besides stupid and impossible nonsense to fill their lives. Love. It sickens me that people believe in something so completely ridiculous. "Love" doesn't even exist. It is not tangible, so how do you know when you've gained it or when you have enough? You do not. The only things worth anything are the ones you must work to get and the ones you can see the results of. Nothing is as perfect as complete and total world domination. Kukuku…

But this girl—not a girl. A wench. This wench continues to test my patience with her "sweet" expressions and "kind" gestures, all of which are complete bullshit. She thinks she loves me. She tells me she does. I tell her there is no such thing and she should go die in a sewer, for she would be more useful to me there.

She has claimed I am not man enough for her. Not man enough? I am King. There is no one more manly than I. She simply does not understand that this "love" shit she speaks of is just that—it is shit. It is nothing. There is no such thing, yet she constantly pushes and pushes this abstract concept on me and I am about to explode and have her assassinated. There is no such thing, I declare. Yes there is, she responds. I feel it for you.

This wench is a whore. A stupid, fat, ugly, smelly, whore. I absolutely detest her.

Amuto- A Pink Fluffy Cat Doll

"No it is not!"

"Yes. It is."

"NO IT IS NOT!"

"Yes. It is."

"IKUTO! THAT IS NOT OUR BABY!"

"Yes, it is."

Amu, immensely frustrated, buried her face into her elbows. "That is not even a baby."

"Yes. It's our baby."

"No! It's a stuffed doll, Ikuto! Are you deranged?"

"Baby."

"It's not a baby!" Amu grabbed the pink cat doll from Ikuto and shook it back and forth. She dropped it on the ground. She jumped on it. "It's not alive!"

"Well, not anymore. You've killed our baby."

"It's not a baby!!"

"I am seriously offended that you killed my son."

"The pink cat was your son?"

"You are a horrible person."

"WE DON'T HAVE A BABY!"

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU KILLED IT!"

"… It wasn't alive! You can't kill things that aren't alive!"

"It was alive in spirit…"

"No. No it wasn't."

"Yes. Yes it was."

Amu sighed. "Look, it's a doll, okay?"

Ikuto just grinned, scooping the doll off the floor. "I know. I am surprised though."

"…? What?"

"You never said we didn't even have sex. Are you implying something?"

A blush streaked across Amu's face. "HELL NO."

"I think you're wrong." Ikuto patted the doll on the head and laid it on Amu's bed. "I'll leave it there as a reminder for you."

"A reminder for what?"

"Well, you need practice taking care of our babies. We're going to have lots."

"Excuse you?"

"Don't mind if I am." Ikuto jumped away from her balcony, leaving a flabbergasted Amu to stare at the pink doll. And throw it against the wall.

IkutoxRima- Pimples and Tic Tacs

"HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD!" Rima shrieked. And shrieked again. And shrieked even more.

How could she explain this… this absolute atrocity to anyone? A total disaster. A complete and utter failure that was seriously going to destroy Rima's life if she didn't somehow find a way to get that thing off her beautiful face. Oh god. Oh my god. Oh my fricking-frigging-every-curse-word-ever-goes-here GOD, Mashiro Rima—the Mashrio Rima—had a pimple.

The scream was deafening.

Nor was it unnoticed. Ikuto happened to be in the area (not that he was stalking anyone. Okay, screw it. He was.) but his original intentions were thwarted when he heard such a scream. Alarmed, he dropped into the girls' bathroom on the 3rd floor of Seiyo Elementary to find a panicking petite blonde frantically waving her arms in a manner he could not describe with words but that seemed to be centered around something on the girl's forehead. Curious, he glided over and grabbed her arms, moving them to the side to examine whatever it was that was causing this blonde to spaz, for the lack of a better word.

Ah. A pimple.

With a smirk, he dropped her arms. She immediately whined and moved to cover her face.

"What are you doing here? Don't touch me!"

"I see you have a pimple."

"Shut up! I do not. That would mean… it would mean…" She immediately teared up, making Ikuto regret his teasing.

"It's not that bad. Here, I have something that will make it better."

The girl's eyes dried a bit. "R-Really?" She managed to sniff.

"Uh, yeah." Okay, so that was a lie. He just wished he'd never said anything at all. Anything to get away from her. "These pills will clear up anything. I use them because I am highly allergic to… the sun."

"Oh, wow. That must suck. Is that why you're so unbearable pale?"

"I am not unbearably pale!"

Rima pouted. "These pills won't cause me to become unbearably pale, will they?"

"No! I'm not pale!" He dumped a few Tic Tacs into his hand and shoved them towards her. "Just take them!"

"Gosh, no need to get your panties in a wad, snowman." She took the "pills" and shoved them in her mouth. "How quick do they—," she turned around and blinked. He was already gone. "…Work?"

Outside, on the roof, Ikuto sulked. "I am not pale…"

And inside, much to her delight, Rima watched her pimple's redness fade. "These minty pills are working!"

And Rima's world returned to normal. And Ikuto forever felt insecure about the pale shade of his skin, but he eventually became a man and sucked it up. Good for him.

The end!

Takuto- Shaving Kits and Post-its

Okay. He really was finally beginning to get the hang of it, he swore. He was. Tadase didn't want to have a hairy five o' clock shadow for the rest of his life, so of course he'd started shaving. It wasn't his fault that shaving was just… hard.

Ikuto had not been pleased when Tadase had come out of the bathroom covered in blood, and the little pieces of paper towel stuck to his face made him horribly unattractive. So Ikuto taught Tadase how to shave.

But Tadase couldn't have Ikuto there step-by-step every time he shaved, which is what he had grown accustomed to over the years. Ikuto left him for college, of all things, and he was going to have to get this shaving thing down or be forever humiliated the next day of school. Or he could just grow a beard…

Don't even think about that.

But Ikuto wouldn't like that. Ikuto liked him clean shaven. But shaving was so haaard. Tadase sighed, hanging his head in defeat above his sink. There was no way this was going to work. And he couldn't just call Ikuto and be like "Shave with me." How completely childish would that be, regardless of how much he needed help? So Tadase realized he had no other way.

As he opened the drawer to pull out his shaving cream, he noticed a note.

You only need about a quarter-size amount of this.

Ah, right. Tadase smiled as he remembered the time he covered his face to look like Santa Claus. Ikuto had not been impressed.

He fumbled around for a razor, smiling when he saw another note.

Press it against your face gently. You don't need to rip off your face.

Not that Tadase had, or anything. Okay, once. And it was just a small scratch. Fine! It was a big chunk! But that had been a long time ago!

He spread the gunk on his face, grinning at his reflection, and lifted the razor to his cheek. He blinked at the post-it on his mirror.

Go slowly. No one is rushing for you to hurry up because no one wants you to rip your face off— God, couldn't Ikuto get over that? It was in the past! Far past! Okay, so it happened last week, but Ikuto should let that sort of thing go! So just shave slowly. And be careful around your neck.

Tadase sighed, eventually finishing with only a few scrapes here and there. He rinsed his face off and patted it with a towel. He was about to open the door to leave when he paused and cracked a grin at Ikuto's final note.

And absolutely NO sideburns!

Kushiko- deck of cards with lame pick up lines on them and sparkling apple juice

They paused. They blinked. The redhead grinned. He sat his glass down. He swirled the top of his finger around it, eliciting a soft hum sound. He lifted that finger and pointed at his companion across the table.

He bent his index finger and prompted Nagihiko to move closer. So he did.

"Hey babe. I made you come with one finger. Just imagine what I can do with my whole hand."

The stared at each other for a moment, then burst into laughter.

Nagihiko dropped back into his chair, raising his eyebrows as he fished the next card from the box.

"Are you free tonight? Or will it cost me?"

Kukai laughed, drumming his fingers across the table. "Oh, I'm free alright. But you'll have to wait awhile."

"Mmhmm. Your turn." Nagihiko raised a glass of sparkling apple cider to his lips with a small smile.

"Heeey there, sexy. My name is Milk. I'll do your body good."

Nagihiko choked, spewing a bit of apple cider from his mouth.

"Was it effective?"

"Y-Yeah."

"At least it didn't go out your nose, right?"

Nagihiko chuckled, pulling another card. "Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?"

Kukai grinned. "Want me too?"

"Not really, no."

"Ah, whatever." Kukai dug through the pile once more. "You really are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!"

Nagihiko laughed. "That's not true and you know it."

"Oh?"

"My body is yours just as much as it's mine."

Kukai smirked. "That is by far the best one I've heard, babe."

"I try."

THESE ONES ARE M!!

KukaixDaichi

It couldn't be too, too bad, right? Right. Not dirty.

Well, fine. Sort of dirty, but no dirtier than masturbating. So really, it wasn't dirty at all because Kukai's father had slapped him on the back in that friendly "I'm-old-so-trust-me-on-this-sort-of-thing" manner and explained that touching one's penis was completely normal. Healthy, even.

Okay, okay! Those were all excuses! For some reason whenever... whenever this type of thing happened for some reason it was easy to blame it on something—anything. Because to him it felt sort of weird—okay, that's a lie. It felt amazing. But that wasn't the point, okay? It's just... how could he explain it to you? It made him feel awkward and so, so loved at the same time. And it was sort of like masturbating, just on a bigger scale. With someone else. But at the same time not with someone else. So like sex, but not sex because there wasn't any intercourse or anything like that. But like... like oral sex.

Well, yeah. Oral sex. That's what he could call it on his end, but then it was just a hand job at the same time. God, could he ever explain this?

Look, after he came in Daichi's mouth, he'd think about it for awhile, alright?

Well, at least 'til they felt like a round two.

TadasexSanjou

She slammed the office door shut, dragging the younger boy forcefully behind her. She dropped him into the chair in front of her desk and glared at him menacingly.

"What are you doing here?"

Tadase cringed. "I... I just—"

"You just what? You think you can waltz right into Easter undetected?!" Sanjou Yukari glowered at the small boy, noticing how frightened he was. "Are you scared?"

"U-Um..."

"You should be. Don't you know what happens to little boys who wander into my office?"

Tadase's eyes widened. "W-wha—" But that was all the boy could say, as he was cut off by metal handcuffs popping out from the chair and strapping him down. Yukari approached him, unbuttoning her blouse as she licked her lips.

"They get eaten alive."

Her blouse dropped to the floor as she leaned over the chair where Tadase was frozen solid. With a large smirk, she ran her perfectly manicured nail down his chest and twirled it against his groin.

"Sometimes they scream. I wonder, Hotori-chan..." Sanjou unsnapped her bra, revealing her chest to the young boy. She then unzipped his pants, pulling out the small, hard member she found buried beneath the layers of fabric.

"Are you one of the screamers?" She pressed her lips against his penis, pulling away and smiling at the red lip stick smeared across the head. Sanjou glanced up at Tadase, taking in his clenched jaw and knuckles. She licked, she slurped, and it didn't take long before Tadase was groaning and bucking his hips upwards.

"Sometimes they think the buckles are to keep them from getting away. It's to keep excited little boys like you from losing it too early." Sanjou pulled away, licking her lips seductively and smirking to herself at the younger boy's animalistic growl.

She slipped off her skirt with a smirk and dropped herself onto him, causing the young blond to finally scream with pleasure.

I am crazy. xDDD