Authors Note: Hello everyone, apologies for the lack of updates for so long and now picking this back up again. There's been so much going on in my life but I'm back here and I am determined to finish this fanfiction. It may take a while and the relationship between Severus and Hermione is going to take quite some time to build. I hope you enjoy the journey with me though.
I also apologise if there are any errors in here. I could probably use a beta at some point but I hope you enjoy the chapter and the progression of the plot. The next chapter is going to be quite big and will probably take me a few days. Hopefully I will get it uploaded before I go on my anniversary trip at the end of April. If you have the time and the inclination, please do leave a small review and let me know what you think of the new content.
They landed lightly on their feet, lighter than Hermione would have expected. They were in an alleyway, standing at a corner. She could see cars and a few people walking on the street, muggles by the looks of it. She jumped slightly at the feel of Severus' arm across her chest, stopping her from moving and keeping her in place. She hadn't expected the contact. Severus glanced over his shoulder and then peered around the corner, clearly checking that the coast was clear. When he decided that it was safe, he moved forward, beckoning for Hermione to follow him.
The thought crossed Hermione's mind that she should just have it out with him in the alleyway, that she shouldn't follow him, that she should just hex him and be done with it. Her curiosity pulled her though, compelled her to follow him and follow she did, taking as much care and attention as he did. She tried not to stay too close to him, she didn't want anyone to observe her trotting after him like a good lapdog. The thought irritated her but she pushed it aside.
She picked her way across the pavement and the road and then followed Severus around the corner and up a small staircase built into the stonework of the building directly across the road from their original point. She didn't know where they were going exactly, he could be leading her like a lamb to the slaughter but Hermione's intuition told her that this wasn't what was happening.
They reached the top of the staircase, coming face to face with a dark burgundy door with flecks of paint missing from it. It was aged and worn, it looked tired, not something that would have been lived in by a person with any semblance of pride. Severus waved his wand in front of the door and the doorway glowed warmly before fading as the lock clicked open. Severus pushed through the door and strode forward, turning on his heel almost like a pirouette and fixing Hermione, who stood hesitating in the doorway, with a glare that clearly told her to move, quickly, and come inside.
Hermione pressed her lips together sternly and stepped across the threshold. The door creaked shut behind her and the lock was replaced. She was stuck in this room with a murderous traitor who she quite happily would have severely injured. He had cost her everything that she loved in life. If he had never killed Dumbledore, the wizarding world would have still had the only protection that You-Know-Who had feared, the only thing stopping him from his full conquest of Wizarding Britain. Hermione clenched her teeth.
"Welcome to my humble abode." Severus spoke wryly, his lip curling slightly as he moved further into the room, placing his bag with the few potion ingredients he had been able to on a table in the corner. He waved his wand in the direction of the fireplace which slowly came to life, the flames casting a light warm glow across the room. There were two dark green armchairs in front of the fireplace and Severus gestured for Hermione to take one of the chairs as he settled in the other. He did not seem comfortable and he wasn't the only one. The room was dark, filled with shadows even with the fire in the fireplace. Hermione noticed bookshelves, many, many bookshelves and her heart leapt at the thought of running her fingers across the tomes. She wondered what types of books would be in Severus' library.
She shook her head, her riotous curls bouncing slightly as she did. She wasn't here for books, she was here for the dark-haired man with blood on his hands.
"Take a seat Miss Granger, you will be decidedly more comfortable and this may take some time." Severus waited for Hermione to come forward and settle on the seat in front of him. They were close but not close enough to be considered improper.
"What did you mean when you said 'I'm not the man you think I am'?" Hermione wasn't here to get comfortable and have a relaxing evening and casual conversation. She was straight to the point, she wanted to crack open this minor mystery and then continue on her way. The longer she sat in his presence, the angrier she became, her fury seething quietly beneath the hard surface that she projected.
A sigh slipped from Severus and his attitude was distinctly bad -tempered. Hermione's fists clenched and her jaw tightened in response. "Don't even think about giving me misinformation, bullshit stories and asinine riddles." Hermione's voice was tight, constricted with her barely concealed anger. There was a flash of irritation in Severus' eyes, something that Hermione had seen many times before.
"Well played Miss Granger, well played. Tell me, are you willing to open your mind and consider the possibility that perhaps I may be willing to tell you the truth or would you rather live in pig-headed ignorance like Potter and Weasley?" There was a snarky bite in Severus' voice that Hermione barely registered, a coldness spreading throughout her stomach at the mention of Ron. She leaned back in the armchair with a huff, trying her best to conceal the change in her inner equilibrium, hoping that Severus wouldn't have caught on to it. His eyes glittered almost dangerously and Hermione looked away, staring at the fireplace, not wanting to look into his eyes. As irrational as it was, Hermione in that moment fully believed the suspicion long held by many that Severus could look into another's minds and thoughts without having to verbally use legillimency.
"How can you expect me to trust anything that you say after what you've done?" Hermione's words hung heavily in the air and, for once, Severus didn't have an immediate sarcastic comeback. He had done many unspeakable things in his time but he knew exactly what she was referring to; the death of Dumbledore. The memory of the event angered him and cut him in equal measure. His pain would never be known unless he opened up to this young witch who hated every part of him.
"What do you expect me to say Miss Granger?" Severus' voice was quiet and he waited for Hermione to speak. Hermione was at a loss for words, for the first time in years she didn't know the answer. Was there even a right answer?
The silence was a spell cast over both of them, Severus waiting patiently, his gaze attempting to penetrate Hermione's mind, something that she was unwilling to let him do. She wouldn't look at him. She couldn't look at him. She wanted to discover the truth of it all but she didn't know if she could even believe his words. He had to prove the truth of his words but how, how?
The pensieve.
Of course, a pensieve! His tongue may lie but she had learned enough from Harry to feel confident in identifying the difference between a true memory and a false memory. She gripped the arms of the armchair and lifted her chin a fraction, her resolve in every inch of her body.
"I want you to show me." As soon as the words had left her, she realised that she had raised the stakes and Severus' eyes widened a mere fraction but enough that she could notice, her steely gaze meeting his own. "I don't trust your words, I won't trust them." She added, waiting for Severus to make the next move.
Severus should have expected that she would demand this of him. Potter had obviously told her about the pensieve and more than likely about his task to procure the true memory from Horace Slughorn. She was beyond capable as a witch and as an intellectual so she would view this as being the easiest way to ascertain the truth of the situation. The urge rose within Severus to dismiss her, to force her out of his home and place additional protections to avoid her returning, or to obliviate her and remove all trace of their recent interaction from her memory. It was unethical but it would protect him. However, Severus had made the decision many months before that he would turn over a new leaf, following the muggle phrase, and that he would begin to make amends for all the wrong that he had done in the world. If Albus had been here he would have urged Severus to open his mind to her and demonstrate that he was not the man she believed him to be. He didn't want to do it but she had made her position perfectly clear, he wouldn't believe her words, only what she could see with her own eyes.
"Very well then Miss Granger." A smile of grim satisfaction was his response from Hermione and Severus raised his hand to prevent her from speaking. "However, I have one condition." The smile faded. "You will not reveal to anyone what you see this night or the consequences will be dire. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes." The response was sourly spoken but it was sufficient for him. It was time, so it seemed, to reveal the best of him as Albus had wished Severus would have allowed him to do. Severus rose to his feet and crossed to a large cabinet flush against the wall by the small latticed window. He pulled upon the doors of the cabinet and, with great care, lifted the stone pensieve and brought it to his desk by the door to his bedroom. He turned and crooked his finger for Hermione to join him. She rose to her feet and crossed the room, trying to keep her enthusiasm and excitement under wraps. This was the first time that she would ever get to see a pensieve and use it.
"I will not entertain any conversation until we have finished viewing my memories." Severus explained, laying the ground rules. He held his hand out for her to take, an uncommon nervousness rising from his stomach to his throat. This would be an uncomfortable experience for him. Hermione hesitated for a moment before taking his hand again, recognising the warmth and secretly relishing the feeling of the roughness and callouses against her softer palm. Severus leaned forward and Hermione followed suit, falling into the swirling memories in the pensieve, tightening her grip on Severus' hand.