Thank you so much for the reviews guys, I'm so happy you liked the last chapter! Sgdp1261, totally check him out, he's extremely talented. He's mainly an acoustic artist, and just like good ole Billy Joel, Ed Sheeran is a REAL musician. His music is REAL, which is why I love him so much. And ShadowsOnTheMoon, I love that line too :) I love everything about that flashback! It was pretty fun to write/a nice break from all the drama that this story has. And for those of you asking about when Hanna, Emily, and Toby are going to come in, PATIENCE! They will, promise. You will get your dose of Spoby, and Hanna and Emily eventually will find out. But you'll have to keep reading/wait for it ;)

Also, you guys should totally check out this project on YouTube that Troian Bellisario, who plays Spencer, is in. It's called Lauren, and it's on the Wigs channel, which is the #1 channel for scripted drama on YouTube, and it's sponsored by FOX. Troian plays a woman in the army who had been raped and wants justice. The second season of it shows her in the aftermath right after it happened, and it's great if you want to get a good idea of what will be going on with Spencer in this story and all of her emotions. Also, it's just a really good project, and it's really enjoyable to watch. It sheds light on a really important issue, which is that these kinds of issues DO happen, and it's even more common for a woman to get raped in the military than to get shot. It's really enlightening. Troian is incredible in it, this might just go above Spencer 2.0!

Here's the next chapter, and it's one of my favorites. Starting with this chapter and moving upward is just a STREAM of exciting chapters! I really hope you guys like them. Keep it up with the reviews, you guys are doing a great job so far! I'm loving it! Also, I snuck in a reference to the show in this chapter. See if you can spot it, and tell me in the reviews!

Spencer opened her eyes slowly, and was amazed to find that she hadn't woken up shaking, crying, kicking, or screaming. She actually seemed… peaceful.

The door creaked open, and a smiling face appeared in the doorway. Spencer smiled back for once.

"Hey, you," she said as Aria walked forward and sat on the edge of the bed.

"How are you feeling?" she asked curiously. "Any better?"

"A little, actually," Spencer admitted. "I think it helped that I was able to get some sleep worked in."

"Yeah, I bet," Aria agreed. "I was worried about you."

Spencer bowed her head. "Is it okay for me to say that I'm worried about myself too?"

"Of course, Spencer," Aria said genuinely. "You don't have to keep that to yourself!"

"I just…" A tear rolled down Spencer's cheek. "I can't stop thinking about it, and it… it can't be healthy, Aria!"

"This whole thing isn't healthy, Spencer," Aria stated. "It shouldn't have happened. But it's reasonable for any person to get upset about it, and it's just as reasonable for you to be upset by it."

Spencer just looked down to the comforter, and Aria was amazed to see that, for the first time, Spencer was at a loss for words. She reached forward and grabbed Spencer's hands in hers.

"Spencer, I know that I may not be much help, but I want to be here for you. I want you to be able to open up to me, because clearly you're going through a hard time. Shutting me or anyone out isn't the answer here."

Spencer looked up at Aria. Caring, wise, passionate Aria. She knew that Aria wanted nothing more than to help her, but Spencer didn't know how to explain this all to her.

How could she tell Aria that she was terrified? That she was afraid to leave this apartment, to leave this room, because the mere thought of having to lay eyes on someone of the opposite sex turned her blood to ice? That she felt like she was permanently tied to this bedpost because, if she were to leave, everything would change? She would have to face the world in front of her, and she wasn't ready for that. The old Spencer Hastings told the world to hit her with her best shot, but this Spencer Hastings? She wasn't so sure.

This Spencer Hastings was living in a world that was moving too fast for her. She couldn't handle it. At all. And she wasn't in the least ready to admit that. Especially not to Aria, the person she had known for years.

All of the girls, even Spencer herself to an extent, knew that Spencer was the glue that held the four of them together. If she broke, they all broke. And yet, while she wouldn't always admit to being scared, she always felt like she could confront Aria, like she could turn to her when all else failed. She had always felt like she could tell Aria anything, but now that the tables had turned in such a sick way that she didn't feel like that anymore. Somehow, before, she could open up while still holding herself together, or at least holding everyone else together, but she didn't want Aria to see that she couldn't do that now.

Aria saw how conflicted Spencer was, just with one look in her kind caramel eyes, and gave her hands, still interlocked in hers, a tight squeeze. "C'mon, Spence," she whispered. "Don't you…" She took a deep breath, and then said the one thing that she knew, or at least really hoped, would get to Spencer enough that she opened up.

"Don't you think that you could use a little Team Sparia?"

Spencer whimpered at the mention of their old nickname. She really could. But she just continued to look up at Aria with uncertainty. Aria looked visibly hurt. "Oh god, Spencer, please say something."

Spencer opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She wanted to come clean. She wanted to tell Aria that she was scared. She wanted Aria to hold her and make all of the bad things go away.

But she refused to allow for that to happen. Not because Aria couldn't handle it, but because Spencer couldn't handle it.

Spencer just closed her mouth again and rolled over so that she was no longer facing Aria. She rested her head on her pillow as she looked out the window. She could feel the weight shift on the mattress as Aria stood up.

"You know what? Fine. Be this way. Be the stubborn girl you've always been. Be that one person that won't let anyone in, and just continue to get consumed with your own secrets and your own feelings and everything that is bottled up inside of you. I tried!" Aria could feel tears in the back of her throat as her voice increased in volume with each sentence. "But know this: if it were me, if I were under the covers right now, in your position, I would've opened up to you."

At Aria's outburst, Spencer rolled over on her pillow and looked up at Aria. Then she said, without any emotion, the last thing that both of them expected her to say:

"I guess that's the difference between you and me."

Aria's heart sank. "Spencer..."

"Please just leave me alone!" Spencer said in frustration as she took the pillow next to her and put it over her face.

There was something in Spencer's voice that made Aria realize that, as much as she claimed she didn't want to talk about it, she wanted Aria to keep pushing. She wanted Aria to be there.

"I can't do that Spence," Aria whispered. "I need for you to talk to me. Holing yourself up in this room isn't good for you."

"It seems to be working in my favor," Spencer bit back cleverly, her voice muffled by the pillow resting on her face.

Aria gulped loudly, but she refused to give up. She walked up to the bed and kneeled down so that she was at Spencer's level. She took the pillow off of Spencer's head, and took her finger to Spencer's chin as she turned Spencer toward her. "You admitted that you were worried. And that you're thinking about it a lot. That's a start, right?"

Spencer sniffled. "I mean… I guess."

"Okay, well just go from there!" Aria reasoned. "Why are you worried? Why are you thinking about it so much?"

"Because…" Spencer began, trying to find a way to word this to Aria. "Because I trusted him, and he took advantage of me. Because I let him in in a way that I rarely have, and he…" Spencer closed her mouth, afraid to continue. Suddenly, Aria began to understand.

"Is that what this is about?" she whispered. "Is this why you're afraid of talking to me? Do you think that I would do something like that to you? Do you think that I would hurt you?"

"No, of course not!" Spencer said quickly. "I know that you would never…"

She ended up just looking back down to the comforter again. She knew that she was far from convincing at this point. "It's just that whatever I see, whatever I do, it all leads back to him."

Aria thought about this in genuine concern, and then looked up at Spencer. "Spence," she began, "I know it's only been a week, but… I think you should see someone."

"A therapist?" Spencer exclaimed. "Because that worked out so well the first time around?"

"It doesn't have to be Dr. Sullivan," Aria reasoned. "We can find someone more suited for you."

"I…" Spencer began, but couldn't find a way to argue against it. Would it really be so bad to see someone? "I'll think about it."

"Good," Aria nodded her head, but then took it back immediately. "Actually, no. Not good. Spence, there's something else."

"Well, okay…"

Aria looked back up at Spencer again, with a look that was pleading for Spencer to find a way to hear her out on what she was about to say. "I think you need to report Wren."

Spencer lay awake in her bed, tossing and turning. After much discussion, and a huge fight between her and Aria, she had reluctantly agreed that tomorrow she would report Wren. But was she really ready to do something like that?

He raped you, a voice in her head kept saying. He deserves it.

But way in the back of her head was another voice that was telling her, Don't do it. It'll only cause more problems. Don't do it.

Spencer took the pillow out from behind her head and screamed into it. Not loud enough that Aria or her mom could hear, but loud enough to relay her frustration on anything.

When she was little and went to church with her family, she had constantly learned from the Bible that God gave struggles to the people he knew could handle it. But when would God decide that she had had enough? Why couldn't she make that decision?

I'm done, she thought to herself. I've had enough. But God refused to listen. He just made things worse for her. She just kept going further and further downward, and the further she went, the harder it became for her to return to the old Spencer Hastings. It became harder for her to keep going.

How do you keep going when the worst thing has happened? she thought to herself. What do you have to change, inside, to survive? Who do you have to become?

Suddenly, that was it. Spencer had snapped. She shot out of bed and, for the first time all week, unraveled herself from the sheets and got out of it. She was out of bed, and she should've felt terrible about it. She should've wanted to collapse back under the warmth of the sheets and return to a deep slumber. She should've wanted to stay in this room forever, to avoid going into the outside world, to never see a boy's or a man's face again.

But she didn't want any of that. She didn't feel terrible.

She felt fucking amazing.

She glanced at the clock. It was 3 in the morning. Perfect.

She slowly opened the door to her bedroom, and tiptoed out of it. She hadn't brought a thing with her when Aria brought her to the apartment, and now she didn't have a thing to take away, except for her cell phone. She saw Mrs. Montgomery asleep on the couch with a tattered blanket draped over her, and Aria was cuddled up in a chair next to the couch, asleep as well. Spencer didn't feel good about leaving Aria like this, but she recognized it as something that she needed to do.

"You don't know who I am anymore," she whispered into the darkness, her words leaving her mouth as though a draft had entered the room and breezily carried them away. She then walked over to Aria and looked down at her as she whispered, even more softly this time, "And you can't count on me."

And with that, Spencer was out. She opened the door with ease, feeling sorry that she had to leave the house without so much as a "Goodbye" or a "Thank you" or anything more civil, but that was something the old Spencer would have done.

This new Spencer had to move on from the past somehow. This new Spencer had to learn from her mistakes.

This new Spencer had to promise herself that she wouldn't let anyone in ever again.

"So fill to me the parting glass," she sang softly to herself as she exited the apartment building. Before she could walk further, she stopped in her tracks and pivoted so that she was facing it. So that she was facing the 15-story building, her sight extending upward, as far as it could reach. Then, she said it:

"Goodnight and joy be with you all."