A time to be so small
The first thing Makoto felt when she regained consciousness was cold slush stinging her face. Her fingers, nose and cheeks felt numb from the cold breeze slapping against her bare skin. A loud billowing rang in her ears; the air smelled thick with firewood burning and a small trace of pine , the weak warmth of the sun barely shun through the cloudy sky. She could hear birds cawing and flapping restlessly above her, dead leaves fell gently on her head as she stirred a little, still wound up from the previous twister-like journey. Makoto felt extremely tired and even considered laying there and falling asleep, but a sudden electrifying sensation rushed through her body; unlike her prior memories, this one bared down on her with great excitement. She would finally remember who the blonde girl was and why she mesmerized her so. The tingling sensation gathered in the tips of her fingers as she closed her eyes tightly, the anxiety and anticipation were too overwhelming.
It's not so bad once you get used to it.
Makoto's dreamy state was cut short, she immediately opened her eyes and slowly surveyed the area. "Wow…where am I?", she asked fascinated as she looked at the snow covered forest surrounding her. She gradually stood up and noticed smoke rising from a small wooden cottage a few feet away from her; two stone lanterns shun brightly on her right, a long brownish trail between them led to the modest cabin.
I don't believe it. This is one of your fondest memories and you don't remember?
"Relax! Just give me a minute!", snapped Makoto. She looked around carefully, a small sense of nostalgia tugging at her mind, but as much as she tried the place seemed mostly unfamiliar. "Yeah…I sort of remember", she said untruthfully.
I know when your lying, so I urge you to refrain from it. Nothing comes to mind?
Makoto stared thoughtfully at the cottage. "Mm…I can't think of what exactly but…it feels painfully familiar…" - she lowered her voice - "Something about the blonde girl…", she said hopefully.
Good guess! Are you anxious to see her?
"Yes!", shouted Makoto eagerly, her cheeks turned red with embarrassment from her sudden outburst of excitement.
Get ready, it's almost time.
Makoto eyes darted everywhere, she held her breathe as her insides tightened with nervousness. The air was filled with silence except for the reckless fidgeting of the birds and Makoto's squirming feet against the scraping snow. Her heart stopped as she suddenly heard voices approaching from the other side of the cottage, she couldn't make out what they were saying or who they belonged to, but it was clear there was more than two people. The voices grew louder and clearer by the second, and before she could see who they belonged to, Makoto was suddenly hit by a powerful surge.
"U-Usagi? Oh my god! That's Usagi's voice! I can't believe it! How could I forget!", cried Makoto on the verge of tears. A warm joyous feeling swelled in her heart as the memories flooded her shivering body.
Wonderful! You remember!
Two more voices triggered Makoto's foggy mind. "Rei-chan! Ami-chan! This-this is incredible…!", she shrieked excitedly, the three girls she finally remembered made their way out of the forest, sporting heavy jackets and knitted hats and gloves, and walked to the cozy cabin. They stayed there chatting and giving frustrated looks towards the snowy forest. Makoto beamed as her eyes swelled with tears of happiness, the loneliness she had felt for most of her life vanished at the sight of her friends.
You must feel truly happy right now.
"Yeah…", whispered Makoto as she gawked at the three girls. "This-was my first birthday with them…the best birthday I've ever had", she said in an undertone.
You were very fortunate to have such good friends, they care about you a lot.
But before Makoto could respond, two gut wrenching voices echoed out from the forest. Her insides turned to jelly and her eyes stared fixedly, she began feeling lightheaded as the gracious sounds grew closer. Time stopped as everything around Makoto froze, she forgot how to breathe as a golden haired girl with a red bow came into view, beside her a tall brunette grinned as she listened to the girl's cheerful banter. The two girls walked up to the other three girls and joined in, Rei scowling them for having taken so long.
Well, there she is.
Makoto was speechless, she tried to say something but she could only muster a strange grunt, tears independently falling from her eyes. She completely ignored what was happening and being said by the cluster of girls, she could only stare transfixed at the gorgeous blonde.
What a wonderful sight. How do you feel?
Makoto shook herself from her trance and blushed. "Uh…stupid?", she answered flatly. More tears leaked out, but she wiped them away forcefully.
You shouldn't. Sometimes we think about something so much that it can easily be forgotten in the silliest of circumstances.
Makoto scoffed. "Yeah, but Minako? How could I possibly forget her?", she said unbelievingly and completely ashamed, like she had just committed the foulest of crimes.
You didn't exactly forget her, now did you? She showed up in your previous memories, right?
Makoto nodded slowly. "I guess, but why is that?", she asked as she watched Minako happily cling her arm around the brunette's who blushed, the two followed Ami and the other two girls into the warm cottage.
You tell me.
Makoto chuckled nervously and quickly walked up to one of the cabin's windows. Inside, the brunette, who looked a little awkward but pleased, was surrounded by the other four girls who cheered for her. The dining room was filled with balloons and a long banner which read: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAKOTO!, painted sloppily with a dark green and surrounded by mushy hearts, it was undoubtedly the brilliant work of Minako. In the middle, an accommodating table stretched out; on top of a festive tablecloth five places were arranged with plates, cutlery, glasses and bright party favors. A large uneven birthday cake stood at the head of the table, filled with candles and smudged with green another HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAKOTO. Chuckling, Makoto looked at the faulty cake and immediately thought of Usagi.
You still haven't told me.
"What's the point? You already know", said Makoto impatiently, she was much too concentrated on her friends, especially Minako, to answer questions the voice already knew the answers to.
But my concern is that you don't or at least you won't openly admit it.
"What? That I like Minako? There I said it! Happy?", Makoto said hoarsely. She suddenly realized she had never actually said it out loud, and much to her surprise, it felt incredibly uplifting.
You only…"like" Minako? I think not.
Makoto shook her head and huffed in frustration. "Let's not, okay?", she sighed.
Inside the cottage, Rei and Ami were bringing out large bowls filled with assorted foods. The sizzling scent of cooking invaded Makoto from outside, she longed to walk in and join the pleasant feast. She watched amused as Rei examined one of the dishes and began to shake her head disapprovingly at Usagi and Minako. Ami began to giggle and the brunette placed a gentle hand on Rei's shoulder and smiled wistfully.
"Really, they should have at least let me cook", chuckled Makoto warmly.
Was it really that bad?
Makoto thought for a moment then beamed. "It was the most delicious meal of my life", she whispered longingly.
The clatter of knives and forks could be heard from outside. The five girls ate heartedly as they chattered and joked happily. The brunette was the only one who seemed quiet, her eyes glistened with emotion while she watched her four friends celebrate her once ignored birthday. Sitting next to her, Minako shot mischievous glances at her, the two flushed every time their eyes met. Once the meal was finished, Ami, with the help Rei, cleared the table and took out smaller plates for the cake. The air was suddenly filled with singing voices, sitting in front of the candle lit cake, the brunette was as red as a cherry, she shifted nervously but blissful as four pairs of eyes stared at her with joy. After the song was done, the four girls clapped eagerly as the brunette blew out all the candles in one go.
What did you wish for?
"I wished that moment would never end", said Makoto quietly. "I could stay here forever", she said dazed as she watched her four friends embrace the brunette warmly.
You could…if you really wanted to.
"Really? How?", asked Makoto quickly, the idea sounded very appealing.
Well…you see, it's difficult. I wouldn't recommend it, at least not now. Look! Presents!
The brunette was hastily unwrapping a present Rei had just given her. She pulled out a green sleeveless shirt, Chinese-style, embroidered with a darker green lace. The brunette's eyes grew wide as she held out the stunning garment, in one quick move she pulled Rei into a bone crushing embrace. After a few minutes of complementing the gift, Ami handed a rectangular parcel to the taller girl who eyed her suspiciously. She opened it to find a rather heavy and large cooking book, the edition was beautiful and very classy. Mouth hanging open, the brunette turned a couple of pages before thanking Ami with a powerful hug. Usagi, smiling proudly, separated the two girls and practically shoved her gift under the brunette's nose. She took the badly wrapped box and opened it, inside was a photo album, she slowly opened it and saw that the first few pages were filled with recent pictures of the five friends. The brunette was lost for words, she looked up and was caught off guard by the flashing of a camera. Usagi and the rest howled with laughter at the face the brunette had just made, she laughed too and embraced the pigtailed blonde warmly.
"I wonder if I still have that album, I hope so", said Makoto, beaming.
You don't need it. Just use your head.
"A lot of good that's done me", hissed Makoto annoyed.
It's your own fault you choose to forget these things, don't blame me.
"By the way, what's so bad about this memory? I mean, I understand why it's important but this isn't like the other one's. Nothing really terrible happened today, at least not that I can remember", asked Makoto quizzically. She watched Usagi frantically take pictures of everything, especially Rei's fiery annoyed face who tried to take the camera away.
It's crucial you see this memory from the outside. Things have a way of changing when looked at from a different perspective. Yours, I'm afraid, has been quite blinding.
"Fine. I'll take your word for it", muttered Makoto dismissively.
The brunette was eyeing her presents carefully as Usagi, Ami and Rei ran around with the camera, they made quite a scandal inside the modest cottage but it gave a warm pleasant feeling. Minako slowly made her way over to the brunette and looked at her with dazzling eyes, she stood on her tip toes and whispered something into the taller girl's ear which made her eyes grow wide. Minako blinked at her then ran off blushing to join the other three girls. The brunette gave a boyish grin and slumped back into her chair, her face hot and red.
What did she say to you?
Makoto sighed happily. "She wanted to give me my present in private", she whispered completely love sick.
Looks like you weren't the only one with a secret crush.
"Oh come on! Minako? No way! She's not like that!", snapped Makoto indignantly.
Why not? Would that be too hard to handle?
"W-What? No! I-I mean…she wouldn't…huh?", stuttered Makoto nervously.
Can you honestly tell me, given the chance, that you would confess your feelings to her if she felt the same way?
Makoto thought of lying but knew it was pointless. "She doesn't feel the same way, so it doesn't matter", she said flatly.
Turning a blind eye again, aren't you?
Makoto, ill-tempered, decided to ignore the voice and watched as the five girls flung on their jackets, gloves and hats. They left the cottage and stepped out into the billowy outdoors. The sun had begun to set as a reddish outline with a purple hue surrounded the horizon. The moon was beginning to make itself present on the other side, despite the winter climate the air was smooth and calm. The five girls grabbed large pieces of firewood and chugged them together in a pile, around it, they placed three longer and thicker pieces for them to sit on. With the help of none other than Rei, they were able to produce a tall flickering fire, it's warmth enveloped them as the flames licked their bright faces.
It looks to me like she's especially fond of you.
Minako sat next to the brunette and scooted over until they were both touching. She looked up at the taller girl and gave her a wide smile, she then hooked their arms and rested her head on her shoulder, staring contently at the intense flame. The brunette sat frigid and unmoving, too scared the lose the warm body beside her. With one long breathe she took the blonde's hand in hers and held it firmly. Minako giggled as she felt the brunette's hand tremble over hers, so she simply squeezed it tightly to reassure her.
How could you deny she has feelings for you? Look at her!
"Because she's just like that! I know her, she always acts flirty with everyone!", said Makoto hotly.
Then why is she acting like that with you? Why not with someone else?
"Um…I don't know. Maybe because it's my birthday?", said Makoto mockingly.
Fine. Believe what you'd like. It's seems I'll never get some sense into that dense head of yours.
"Yeah, what a pity", groaned Makoto.
The four girls sitting around the bonfire were hushed in silence as Rei told them a scary story. Usagi whimpered as she clutched the collar of her jacket tightly. Ami, quiet and interested, listened to the story calmly. Minako was practically sitting on the brunette as she clung onto her with all her might. The taller girl pulled her close and whispered kind words under her breathe. Makoto noticed that every time the brunette wasn't looking, Minako would lose her frightened face and smile mischievously, still clinging tightly to the girl next to her. Rei finished the story with an unexpected "BOO!" which made even Ami jump. Usagi howled terrified as she launched herself back into the cottage. Rei laughed and got up, she yawned as she stretched, Ami did the same. The two girls congratulated the brunette again and said goodnight, leaving Minako and the taller girl sitting alone watching the dancing fire.
"I thought you said something bad was going to happen", said Makoto wearily, she too felt very tired.
I never said something bad was going to happen. Just something you should've noticed a long time ago.
Minako smiled at the brunette and pulled her up, she led her along the path to where the two stone lanterns stood. The only light shining came from the moon above them, it silhouetted against them as they stood face to face, holding hands. Minako gently pulled away from the brunette's grasp and took out a small box from her jacket. She surveyed it before handing it over. The taller girl took it and slowly opened it, her eyes glistened as she carefully slid out a golden necklace with a heart shaped locket on it. She looked down at Minako with an expression of awe, the blonde gestured her to open it. With a tiny click, the locket opened to reveal a photo of the blonde on one side and the brunette on the other.
I don't think a lot of friends give each other heart shaped lockets. Do you?
"Of coarse they do!", croaked Makoto unbelievingly.
The brunette stared in disbelief at the locket. She looked completely bewildered and nervous, un sure of what to do. Below her, Minako looked hopeful and excited, she stared impatiently up at the taller girl who gave her a weak smile. The blonde inched a little closer, her hands grabbing the brunette's again, their bodies pressed against each other. The taller girl trembled as she moved closer to Minako's face, their lips almost touching, one small move and they would kiss. Inches away from the blonde's lips, the brunette stopped, sighed and surprised her with a friendly hug and thank you. Eyes wide and with an expression of shock, Minako pulled away and tried to smile before lamely yawning and running off into the cabin. The brunette stood there transfixed, staring at the golden locket in her hand, she swiftly pocketed it before silently walking off into the dark forest.
Why on earth didn't you kiss her?
Makoto's mouth had swung open in sheer disbelief. "I-I-I-was…confused! Did-did-she really want to…kiss me? No! It can't be! Why didn't I kiss her?", she muttered furiously.
Because you were scared. You love her too much.
"No, it didn't really happen that way. I don't remember that at all", said Makoto stubbornly.
Yes it did. Go into the cabin and see for yourself.
Makoto walked unwillingly towards the cottage, just as she was inches away, she could hear a faint sobbing coming from inside. She peered through the window and saw Rei holding Minako who cried uncontrollably against her shoulder. The priestess rubbed the blonde's back kindly, now and then glancing up at the door, obviously worried that the brunette might come back. Minako shook terribly as she wept unabashed and moaned.
You do realize that she's crying because of you.
"I don't understand. Why didn't she say anything? No, none of this is true. It can't be", said Makoto coldly, her eyes hardening as they fell on Minako.
I'm offering to help you, but if you're reluctant to believe it then we'll end it here.
"No!", cried Makoto quickly. "I want to stay. I want to ask her!", she demanded.
We cannot stay. It's on to the next memory, if that is what you wish.
"I do want the next memory. But please, let me make this right!", Makoto begged, she began to make her way to the front of the cabin.
No! it's too late. We're off!
Before Makoto could take another step she was instantly sucked into the dreadful whirlwind of sounds and colors. She hoped, beyond logic and reality, that her next memory was with Minako, and that in some courage filled moment, she had found it in her heart to finally kiss her.
To be continued…