Edward floated through the rest of the evening on a cloud of Bella. Not a wispy cloud that passed over the sun on a hot day. Not a grey bank of fog and smoke that lingered around the train station. But a thick white cumulus that enveloped him whole.
When he ate his dinner he wondered if Bella preferred her potatoes mashed or baked.
When he chose a book to read he wondered what she would think of it. He picked a cd by a female singer with a delicate breathy voice to listen to while he read. He imagined it would be what her singing voice would sound like. He cursed himself for not checking what was in her mangled cd player before he returned it to her. It would have been nice to know.
He saw her face in the mirror and in the distorted reflection on his cereal spoon.
Her kindly smile reminded him to be polite to Esme and ask about her latest project.
Her optimism made him feel hope when a weary Carlisle told him about a terminal patient he was treating at work.
He heard her voice when Alice chattered about the blasted yearbook and his sister wasn't quite as overbearing as usual. She beamed at him, letting his good mood wash over her and soaking it into her pores. He smiled back, nodding at appropriate intervals, before reminding her to concentrate on her homework. He wondered if Alice knew that the happiness he was raining down on them was a result of the Bella cloud.
When he went for his morning jog her name thumped and reverberated on the sidewalk in rhythm with his steps. Bel-la Bel-la. It was a song.
He was obsessed. He knew it. And he was loving every minute of it.
After another tediously unpleasant train journey Edward was back in the city. The station, his least favourite place, was fast becoming the setting of the best part of his day.
He caught sight of her by the turnstiles. She was fiddling with the zip on her jacket. She stood on the tips of her toes, her eyes searching through the crowds. As soon as Bella saw him, she rested back on her heels. Her attempts to appear nonchalant amused him. Her suppressed grin was a sign she was as eager as him.
"Good morning Bella," he said, when he reached her side.
" Mornin' Edward," she replied, still toying with the metal zip between her fingertips. It was leaving red indents on the pad of her thumb and he wanted to reach out and stop her from hurting herself, even so minutely. But her zip rested just above the swell of her chest and he didn't want to touch her inappropriately. Yet.
"How are you today?" he asked, hoping that the inflection of his words pushed his question further than a casual greeting.
"I'm good thanks, Edward," she nodded. "And you?"
"Great," he answered. Great? Could he not have thought of a better way to phrase it?
He fell into step beside her with amazing ease. It just felt comfortable, walking close and weaving through the crowds, but never quite touching. He was happy to walk beside her. Bella was happy to follow his lead.
They didn't say much else, only snuck sidelong glances and coy smiles at each other.
It was his habit to never loiter too long in the station proper but he didn't mind the stone steps outside. They weren't quite as claustrophobic. They reached the twelfth step, the same one they had sat on the previous day, and stopped altogether. Edward removed his jacket and laid it out on the ground. He sat down on it and Bella sat on the step beside him. He shook his head and patted the satiny lining.
Grinning, she scooted over towards him and they shared his expensive jacket on the dirty stone steps.
"Y'know this is a nice jacket," she commented, fingering the soft wool cuffs. "You really shouldn't fling it on the ground so carelessly,"
He frowned, then let out a small laugh. She was right, once the dirt of the street got onto it he would never wear it again. But that hadn't even crossed his mind when he tossed it down. He just hadn't wanted her to get cold after he led her outside. But of all the things for her to start conversing about it was that. Unpredictable.
"I guess I shouldn't," he agreed.
"So," she continued, smiling again. "Did you catch your train yesterday evening?"
Edward nodded, not quite able to tell if she was teasing him. "I did. And you…"
He paused for a moment, realising he didn't even know if she actually got the train from here. "…you got where you needed to go?"
"I got home fine," she replied quickly and sighed. "How was your evening?"
He shrugged. "Fine. I did nothing."
"Nothing? The moment you arrived home you became a vegetable and didn't move until it was time for work today. You had to have done something,"
Pleased that she even cared enough to press the issue, Edward tried to give her a more expansive answer. As he spoke, he relaxed. Un-tensed his shoulders and leaned back on his palms.
"Let me see….I helped Alice with her homework for a while,"
"Alice?" Bella repeated. She looked a little worried and he liked that. He forgot she didn't know these things about him. She didn't know anything really.
"My little sister," he explained.
"Oh," She was relieved. "That must be nice. What age is she?"
A sheepish chuckle passed his usually morose lips. "She's actually eighteen. But she only comes to my elbow and she came into the family later so she'll always be my little sister in my eyes,"
"That must be nice. I'm an only child," she replied wistfully.
"Siblings aren't all they're cracked up to me, believe me. Alice can barely decide what to wear in the morning yet she wants to run my life. I was an only child 'till I was ten. I miss the peace,"
A frown pulled her eyebrows together. "How old are you? If your sister is eighteen but she came when you were ten…I thought you were around my age…"
"Alice and I, as well as Emmett my brother, were all adopted." he explained, used to doing so. "I was four when I moved in with Carlisle and Esme. The others came when I was ten. And I'm nineteen now, in case you were wondering. Do I really look twenty-eight?"
"I wouldn't care if you were. But for the record you look your age. And I'm nineteen too,"
That pleased Edward. He had worried she was younger than him. Maybe she just seemed innocent.
Bella continued speaking. "You must be a good brother, doing homework when you don't have to,"
"Helping. There's a difference. Alice has trouble concentrating, focusing. Her IQ is off the scale but she's too easily distracted. Always has her head in the clouds…."
Alice Brandon was a skinny nine year old with long black pigtails and twitchy eyes when she moved in with the Cullens. Eccentric was the polite term used to describe the child. Crazy was the more frequently used one. Her natural parents wanted a perfect cookie cutter family. They tried to force Alice into the mould. When she didn't bake to their satisfaction, they were the ones who crumbled.
They had christened her Mary. From the age of two, she would answer only to Alice.
To put it simply, they couldn't cope. Excuses. They never even tried. A variety of pills didn't raise her to their standards. (She would later tell Edward that she mostly fed them to her dog. Signs by, Cat Brandon was the most content dog in the neighbourhood.) So they shipped her out and she ended up with Carlisle and Esme. It was meant to be temporary but she fit right into the Cullen home. When Esme baked she never used moulds and they would feast on irregular circles and blobs. For her tenth birthday, she requested that her name be changed by deed pole to Alice Cullen and for her sweet sixteen she got her adoption papers.
Dr. Cullen was a responsible father. Yet, it pained him to put her through more tests and consultations and they all were inconclusive. She could have a mild form of ADHD. She might be obsessive compulsive. She definitely was of above average intelligence. In the end, Carlisle took off his white coat, shrugged and told his colleagues that all God's children deserved a place in the choir. He took Alice home, gave her a hug and she never saw another doctor.
Whenever someone commented on her living in her own little world, she would laugh in her Alice-way and reply "Why not? It's a great place to be,"
Edward would wonder about this. If that was her belief, why did she try so hard to fit in?
He recounted this story to Bella. The words flew out of his mouth before he even realised what he was saying. He wanted her to know this, to know him. He felt like she already did.
Or maybe he just had nobody else to talk to.
He talked and talked about his family. Somewhere, the notion that he should have other things to talk about niggled at him. Hobbies or plans or some actual life experience. But what pleasant things could he say about himself? His family were light and fun and interesting. Unlike me.
Bella, ever the observer, seemed happy to sit and listen. Interested even. Or a very good actor, he wasn't entirely sure. He was used to a world of false smiles and minding your P's and Q's. But there was a different kind of sincerity in her smile.
He talked and Bella would occasionally interrupt to comment or ask a question. He kept forgetting that she didn't know him. It felt like she did.
They talked until the crowds that milled by thinned and dispersed. The noise fell away and all that was left was the low sound of their voices.
During a natural lull in the conversation Bella seemed to realise the time. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "I must keeping you from…"
He hadn't told her about his job, having presumed his clothes would indicate he wasn't a student. If he had, he was certain she would have realised he'd rather be here with her.
"From work," he supplied, with a shake of his head. "But it's not a problem, honestly,"
"Where do you work?"
"Um…the Castillo Foundation. It's a private medical facility, the founder is a family friend. I mostly help out with research, kind of like an internship," He didn't really have anything else to say about it.
"So you're interested in medicine?" she asked.
He shrugged and nodded at once.
"But you're not in college…"
He waved the question away. "Maybe next year. Do you not have class this morning?"
She hadn't directly told him she was in college but the books she carted around were a dead giveaway. That and the fact that he had peaked into her timetable.
"No, not 'till later. I have a math tutorial,"
She might have said she was going to get a tooth pulled, her expression was so grim.
"You don't like math?"
She shook her head.
"I'm good at that kind of thing, I help Alice a lot. Even Emmett e-mail's me sheets if he's feeling lazy. I could help you, if you want,"
Her eyes widened.
"Or not"
"No," she corrected him. "I mean yes. I mean thanks. If I get stuck, that would be great."
Good. Facts and figures, he could handle.
"Do you like college?" he wondered.
She sighed. "I suppose…it's just-"
"Just what?" he prodded.
"Y'know when the idea of something is much better than the actual thing? It's like that. Things don't always work out to plan. I mean, the classes are fine. Interesting even and it's great that there's no-one breathing down your neck about homework and stuff. But the rest,"
She twisted her full lips into an unseemly scowl. How wasteful. Then she smoothed them, so they were smooth and plump. The way he liked them.
"The rest doesn't come so easy to me," she concluded.
"Ya," he understood wholeheartedly. "I know what you mean."
"You do?" Her voice was heavy with skepticism.
Edward did not feel like talking about himself. So he just let his silence be her answer.
"Are you sure I won't get you in trouble for being late?" she asked again.
He was caught up in the you and the I and the trouble of her question. He liked those words together.
So he was smiling when he answered. "I'm dead sure. Besides, on Wednesdays my idiot co-workers bring their McDonalds breakfast into work. I'd rather be here than endure that."
Shit. Maybe telling Bella that her company was preferable to McDonalds was the wrong thing to say? Certainly Alice would be offended….but why did she look surprised rather than angry?
"What's wrong with McMuffins?" she asked, almost petulantly.
"Oh it's just not McMuffins," he said, wrinkling his nose. "They bring the whole big breakfast menu. Muffins, pancakes, even concoctions of steak and chicken! It looks so greasy and salty. And the smell."
He shuddered. Bella's surprise turned to bemusement.
"You're kind of missing the point, Edward," she said, as if addressing an imbecile. "Obviously, it's processed junk that looks like plastic. But you look past that to enjoy the tasty goodness. And the grease and salt? That what's makes it yummy."
God, she looked so cute when she said yummy.
"I still think it looks vile," he sniffed.
"Looks?" Her eyebrows shot up. "Looks! Have you ever even tasted it?"
He flicked a speck of lint off his trousers.
"You really haven't lived then," she finished, incredulously.
Maybe she was right.
"I've eaten McDonalds," he defended. Emmett used to bring fries home after Saturday night dates. And they would go there for ice-cream after Little League games. "Just not for breakfast. Esme, my mother, is big on cooking breakfast. She puts out a big spread every morning and would never tolerate us eating that kind of stuff. She sacrificed a lot for us. So she's determined to do it right."
"That sounds nice," Bella remarked, almost wistfully. "My mother Renée was always scattered. We did well to get to school on time, let alone to get a cooked breakfast, not that she's much of a cook. When I lived with her we survived on McDonalds, Krispy Kreme, whatever."
"Doughnuts for breakfast? Sounds healthy." he commented.
"Yeah, nothing like coffee and doughnuts to get you going in the morning," she answered.
"What kind of coffee?" Edward asked on impulse. Just because.
"Regular. No complicated cappuccinos for us." she stated.
Us. Bella and her mother.
"You miss her," It wasn't a question.
"Not as much now. She's busy, I'm here. People grow apart," she replied.
A beat.
"Do you miss your birth parents?" she asked in a small voice.
"I was very young when they died. My memories are hazy…."
She just looked at him.
"Yeah I do. Especially my mom." he admitted. She might have brought him to McDonalds for breakfast.
He began to feel the chill of the ground through his coat. Bella shuffled closer so her shoulder and arm were pressed against his and he felt a little warmer.
Ok. I know I didn't update in forever. Then I post that. I do apologise for the delay and I do have valid excuses but I won't force them on you. The gap won't happen again, by putting up that short chapter I can promise more revealing things to come.
Oh and Limona and withthevampsofcourse are organsising a Twilight awards thing. It's awesome . The Eddies are srs bsns and want to recognise the talented writers out there. The Bellies are more fun and have cool categories like 'best making out' and 'best use of Newton'
Nominations close tonight and the link is on my profile. Go show some love for your favourite stories.
And drop a review here if you haven't lost interest in the story.