Hi, reader. I want to thank you for taking your time and reading my story. Just so you know, the characters aren't mine, I just enjoy playing with them. This chapter will be longer than my previous ones. Hope you like it. I've had this idea for a while. I know it's a bit OOC and AU but it's good for a chuckle. Hope you smile.

Lucifer stared at the child with his mouth gaping open pointing back and forth from Trixie to his father while shaking his head in denial. Not possible or plausible. That sassy little human gave off no heavenly vibes at all. But, in the back of his mind, that nagging little voice of the thing called his conscience was saying it could be, she did hug him an awful lot and most human spawn avoided him, as they should. Nah, this was some dirty trick.

Trixie couldn't hold it in and busted up with laughter,"Did you see his face?"

"Wait a minute, was that a joke? Not even funny," Maze said to the duo.

"Of course it was. I wanted to see the look on his face. Beatrice here used to go to a Sunday School class I taught at St. Mary's Catherdral",he gave the girl a wink, "Back when she was just a little girl of 7."

"Father Joshua was my favorite teacher but when mommy and daddy started having their 'issues', we kind of quit going to church", Trixie informed them, hugging the man. "He taught us that all people, from all walks of life are brothers and sisters on Earth."

Maze exhaled slowly,relieved the kid just a human after all. She kind of liked the brat. Maybe even cared about her a little. Great, Lucifer's crap was rubbing off on her.

Lucifer rocked on his heels a bit with his hands in his pockets before giving his father his attention again, "You came here, to Los Angeles and taught at a church two blocks away from Lux while I was here but not once did you make contact? How rich and how very expected."

"Lucifer, it's not what you're thinking. I had to. Trixie, why don't you go eat those tacos you enjoy so much while we adults talk."

Obediantly, Trixie nodded and took her food to the kitchen with Chloe trailing behind her, telling her how much she loves tacos,too. Trixie told her they got like a billion dollars worth of tacos, chips and queso and burritos. She handed Chloe a paper plate so they wouldn't make a mess. Maze didn't do dishes.

Joshua, as Trixie had called God,leaned in and spoke in hushed tones, "Her father was investigating a drug dealer without Chloe's knowledge. The guy worked at the same church as a children's minister and when he found out Beatrice was Dan's daughter, she became an instant target. If you knew what he had in mind, I assure you, the punishment you would have dealt him would have been swift and true but alas, son, you left hell so I had to handle the situation alone."

"Why not send Amenadiel after him like, you sent him to me? This is not your style",Lucifer said, trying to rationalize his father's words.

"He would have been..ineffective at the time. Amenadiel lacks the proper, what's the word, stamina to punish evil."

"Yet, you had him running hell."

God shrugged. He knew Amenadiel was not the best choice but he could not spare the Archangels. Too much was going wrong in the world and the prayers were deafening and so was the blame. But, now was not the time to explain that to the devil.

Maze tilted her head, studying her former master's father, weighing the story he told, "Where is this guy now? The one who wanted to hurt Trixie?"

"That depends,Mazikeen. Where would you like him? Perhaps that dungeon you keep at LUX?"

Lucifer was going to object but Maze held up her hand," Are you offering to let me punish this guy? Me, the demon from hell?"

"Well, as the human's say, somebody has to do it."

"Do what?", Chloe asked, walking in with cheese running down her chin.

"Clean your face", Maze said quickly pulling the woman to the restroom.

Joshua smiled as Maze led Chloe away," I kind of like her,Lucifer. You did a good job with that one."

Lucifer rolled his eyes dramatically, "Well, yes but I don't remember asking for your approval. What was this deal you mentioned a bit ago?
You know, in exchange for restoring Chloe?"

God chuckled then winked at Lucifer, "Oh, it's very simple. I want you to impregnate Chloe and have her bear your child. Or I could pull off another immaculate conception, if you prefer?"

Lucifer did what any self-respecting devil could do when faced with this situation. He ran screaming from the room, uttering curse words unheard for centuries. What he failed to notice in his escape was Trixie Decker falling off the stool she sat on to eat, grinning like a maniac at the very idea of a baby brother or sister. God, on the other hand just chuckled. He had a plan and his plans always worked out.

Amenadiel stood in Chloe and Maze's front yard, listening to the whole exchange. Why would Father want such a thing? Perhaps he was planning to replace the angels in Heaven with half-human hybrids? This was not fair. The worst part of it all was, not once did Father mention giving him his abilities back. Once again, it was all about Lucifer. He had to convince Father this was a bad idea, but how? He had fallen out of his father's good graces.

Lucifer hid in Maze's room for a few minutes, polishing off a bottle Jameson Irish Whiskey, contemplating the deal his father attempted to make. What was his end game? Why a babe of all things, why was that the deal? Then it hit him, Father was going to try to teach him a lesson. About being a father. Well, he wasn't Lucifer Bloody Morningstar for nothing. He would show the old man. Challenge accepted. For Chloe, only for her.

With a deep breath, he stood and walked back to the living room and with his hands on his hips, he yelled at his father, "Bring it on old man. I can handle whatever you throw at me."

God again winked at his son, "I know."

Maze came back in,looking satisfied with herself, "Both girls are in bed. Trixie was acting weird,though. She kept smiling like a big dork and saying she couldn't wait. Did I miss something?"

Lucifer and his father shared a look but both remained quiet for a moment as Maze poured a Tequila shot. She earned it after dealing with those 2. She was about to swallow her drink when Lucifer lifted his head and whispered, "According to dear old dad, here, Chloe is to have my spawn...child."

The poor alcohol didn't stand a chance. It was spit all over the wall and Mazikeen Smith hit the kitchen floor ,literally rolling with laughter. Not enough alcohol in the world to make this not be funny, "So, if it's a boy, will you name it Damian?"

Lucifer, with righteous indignation,yelled at the demon to shut her filthy mouth. He was sick of cliches and The Omen was nowhere near accurate and badly directed. The human idea of him was so wrong.

Chloe walked in the room rubbing her eyes , "Lucifer, it's after midnight. Can you keep it down? I have to work in the morning", Chloe looked around, surveying the scene in front of her, "Why is Val Kilmer circa Tombstone in our living room this late at night and why the hell is Maze on the floor, giggling like a school girl?"

Maze laughed harder, "Luci, you got some 'splaining to do!"