Grrr. It took forever for me to update. My apologies; I've been very busy, especially with musical rehearsals. Gaaah. But, without further ado, I present the next chapter. Enjoy~
I don't own Hetalia nor Shakespeare. Sigh.
It's Friday afternoon, and I'm waiting outside of school for-well, I'm sure you can guess who.
So, a lot of things have happened in the past few days. Let me explain. The first surprising experience was on the way home with Gilbert, right after I told him about, you know... liking it. It went like this:
"Like... you like men?"
"Gilb, c'mon. Be serious here," I grind my teeth in frustration. "No, I don't like men... I mean, no, I like girls, but..," I sigh. "Now that I'm forced to think about it, I like guys, too, I guess."
Silence ensues. I grow worried; Gilbert's my beat friend. I can't lose him. I hope this whole thing doesn't matter...
Just when I thought the quiet was getting too hard to bare, Gilbert spoke:
"Phew. Thought I was the only one."
Now it was my turn to be silent. "... what?"
Gilbert shrugs. "I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only bisexual person here."
"Wait, so..," I shake my head in shock. I was not expecting this from Gilby. "I had no idea."
"Well," Gilby laughs his weird laugh. "Now you know. By the way, you and Arthur are totally cute together. I'd ship that."
So, that was something I never knew about Gilbert. Between you and me, though, he apparently has this huge crush on Mr. Edelstein. Hah! Who would've thought?
The second odd thing to happen to me just occurred through my thoughts. I kept thinking into this whole bisexual thing. While I'm not comfortable with me being it yet (I doubt I'll ever be), I realized that it's been here all along. I've just been ignoring it. Just like how my liking to girls arose during puberty, so did my liking to boys. When I was thirteen and watched That 70s Show, Jackie wasn't the only character I thought was hot. I just thought Ashton Kutcher was hot subconsciously.
The third thing happened to me earlier today. I was sitting in the library during study hall, entertaining myself by twirling a pencil between my fingers. I knew that Kirkland and I were to get together to practice after school today, but we never made any plans. That is, until he walked into the library.
I prayed internally that he wouldn't see me, that he'd just disappear behind a shelf of books and become too engrossed in them to notice me. I guess I was lacking luck, because he spotted me not two seconds after he had entered the library. That went like this:
I groan inwardly as Kirkland's eyes land on me and he males his way over to the table I'm sitting at.
"Good morning," he says. "Are we still rehearsing tonight?"
"I don't know," I snap, avoiding eye contact with him, focusing on the yellow pencil in my hand.
"How about after school? At my house?" he continues, ignoring my disinterest.
I sigh, flipping the pencil out of my fingers and on to the floor. I make no move to retrieve it. "Fine, whatever."
"Fine," Kirkland nods, bending down to pick up my pencil. He holds it out to me. "Can you forge a note for a bus pass?"
I finally look up to him, raising my eyebrows. "A bus pass?" I ask incredulously. "You still ride the bus?"
I watch as Kirkland's face goes red in embarrassment. "I... driving is dangerous... and I've failed the test three times."
The bell rings. I stand up and look down at Kirkland. "I'll just wait for you outside. You give me directions and I'll drive."
"Okay," Kirkland smiles, face still red. "Sounds great. I'm-"
I didn't catch the end of what Iggy said. I rushed out of the library to my next class, trying to get away from him as fast as possible, partly because I was annoyed and partly because a corner of my mind was noting how cute he looked when he blushed.
Gah. I still shudder thinking about how I actually thought that.
A voice interrupts my shuddering. "Hello, Alfred."
I snap back to reality. "Hi," I mutter, nodding slightly in his direction. Without warning, I start off towards the student parking lot and my car with unnecessarily long strides. I can tell that Kirkland is struggling to keep up with me. Heh. Shorty.
I get to my car, throw my books in the back seat, and slam the front door as I hastily get in. By the time Kirkland's in, I've already started the engine.
"Where am I going?" I ask impatiently.
"My, would you calm down?" Kirkland complains as he buckles up. He actually buckles up. What is he, an eighty year old?
"Just tell me where I'm going," I growl.
"Fine, fine," he sighs. He gives me directions and yells as I speed down the road.
"Where do you want to start reading from?" Kirkland asks. We're sitting in his house's unnervingly clean living room. Seriously, it's so clean that I've afraid to walk in the wrong place. I sit slouched in a tan, leather armchair while he sits with perfect posture on a matching love seat.
"Don't care," I respond absentmindedly, fiddling with my script.
"How about act one, scene seven?" He questions, flipping to the spot in his script.
"Sure," I yawn, also flipping to the spot. I see that I'm first up. I inhale. "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere-do I really have to read through this whole thing?"
"I suppose not," he sighs, a hint of frustration in his voice. He skips down to his line. "He has almost supp'd: why have you left the chamber?"
"Hath he ask'd for me?" I question rather unentusiastically.
"Know you not he has?" Kirkland responds, actually acting. Why, I don't know. We're only reading through our lines. It's not an actual rehearsal.
"We will proceed no further in this business: he hath honour'd me of late; and I have bought golden opinions from all sorts of people," I drone on monotonously. I sigh, bored. "Which would be worn now in their newest-"
"Would you please be so kind to take this seriously?" Kirkland snaps at me. His tone causes me to look up. He has his eyes closed shut and is pinching the bridge of his nose, inhaling deeply.
"Fine, fine. Don't get your panties in a twist," I mumble, feeling his glare on me. I put more effort into my line reading. "Which would be worn now in their newest gloss, not cast aside so soon."
I listen halheartedly to Kirkland read the next line, tuning back in for the end: "... upon 'I would,' like the poor cat i' the adage?"
It is then that I realize what scene this is. "Whoa, wait. Can't we save this one for rehearsal with Edelstein? I'm not kissing you more than I have to."
Kirkland just stares at me. I really wish that he'd stop that. "First of all, we were just reading the lines," he points out matter-of-factly. "Secondly, why not? You seemed to enjoy the kissing." He has his evil smirk on his face.
"I did not," I protest, knowing that my face says otherwise.
"Really?" He leans forward, keeping his gaze on me. "For someone who didn't like it, you sure were quite into it. I haven't been french kissed like that since the last time I visited London-"
"Would you shut up?!" I yell, glaring at his stupid smirking face.
"Why? It makes you uncomfortable, doesn't it?"
"What do you think?!" I yell again. The next thing I know, I'm not controlling the words coming out of my mouth. "I was perfectly fine being me and being with girls and then you come along and make me realize what I've been ignoring for my whole damn teenage life and I'm not used to it and I'm not going to be used to it because I don't want to be bisexual and I don't know why I am and I don't like it!"
I don't know why, but Kirkland looks as if he'd expected this particular outburst. He looks me in the eye and calmly asks, "How could you have been you if there was a part of yourself you never knew was there?"
"I..," I can't come up with an answer that doesn't sound like bullshit.
"I don't think that sexuality is a characteristic that individuals should be judged on," Kirkland continues. "But I do believe it is a defining characteristic that should be embraced, and certainly not ignored."
I remain silent, half because I can't muster up a response and half because I actually want to hear what he needs to say.
"See, I found out about myself when I was visiting relatives over in England when I was thirteen," he explains. "When a cousin of mine had a friend over. I still remember him, the day, and how I felt. I believe that my finding out about my sexuality was a very important life event and I cherish it, although I'm constantly under fire for being gay."
I take in what he says. And then I realize something: "Why in hell am I talking to you about this?!"
I'm on my feet, ready to leave. I don't care what Kirkland thinks about sexualities or whatever other crap goes on in his head.
Kirkland has stood up, too. "Alfred, I didn't mean to upset you," he assures sincerely. "I just want to help you..."
"Help me with what?!" I start to talk with my hands-a sign of rising anxiety. "With turning into a homo?!"
"What? Alfred, no! I just..," he sighs. "I just want to help you feel more at ease with yourself. I know I would have liked someone to be there when I went through what I did."
I'm silent. I guess I've never really thought about what Kirkland went through... I've never had a reason to. But, I have to admit, it would be nice to have someone to go through it with. Someone who's more serious than Gilbert...
I sigh, sending a wary sideways glance towards Kirkland. "I'm... sorry. I guess I overreacted..."
"It's fine. I'm just very forward, I suppose," he shrugs, green eyes now focused on the pristine white carpet.
A few moments of silence pass. I bend down and pick up my script off the coffee table.
"I think I'm done for today," I now stare at the floor.
"Oh, of course," Kirkland nods, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. "Of course, of course."
I flick my wrist in a slight waving motion and turn towards the wooden front door.
"Alfred?"
"Yeah?" I freeze, my hand on the doorknob.
"Do you... like me?"
I stare down at my hand. To my dismay, I feel my face turn red. "I don't know," I mumble very quietly.
"Okay," Arthur answers as I step out the door. "That's okay."
That got rather dramatic at the end, heheheh. Anyway, yep. I'll try to update faster, but I can't make promises. Oh, how I wish I could, though.
Anywho, thanks for your reviews and PLEASE keep reviewing! I love reading them and the support really makes me happy! X3 So, yes, review and look for the next chapter!
