Confessions and Denials

Authors notes:

Ooops...

Regarding Dr. Peterson.

Now, we can either say that she is a canonical character, the one in the background that ran across the camera for 1/22 of a second in episode 14...

Or we can say I goofed, and yes Virginia...there is at least one created character in the story.

I'll leave it up to you guys which is correct.

The rest of the week passed…quickly. Shelly got used to the routine, and found that she quickly fell into Kim and her friends orbit. Even Bonnie seemed to be part of their group, although Shelly knew that there was no chance that Bonnie would cut her any extra slack because of that. Kim had drilled Shelly over the weekend, and then she'd had to face Bonnie—and today was the one week mark. Friday. The day that Bonnie would decide. Kim had told Shelly that she couldn't overrule Bonnie—Bonnie was team captain, and in truth, Kim was there because Bonnie let her be.

Shelly finished the drill with the rest of the team. She looked over at Bonnie who looked back at her, sourly and then admitted that she was… passable.

Barely.

Shelly didn't say anything—Bonnie wasn't happy unless she had something to bitch over, Shelly figured that out fast enough…and in any case Bonnie was working as hard as anyone else.

Kim wasn't there, unfortunately. Of course, Kim had been there most of the week, but right now, Kim was with her doctor. Ron leaned against the wall, waiting with Monique and Felix (well Monique was actually sitting in Felix's lap), and when the practice ended, Shelly came over to the three.

"So, was it 'passable'?" She asked.

"Girl, for Bonnie, that was the same as electing you best cheerleader of the year!" Monique said.

"It was great, Shelly." Felix added.

"Ron?"

"I think you should have done what we discussed." Ron said. Shelly looked over at him.

"Ron, Bonnie said that I was not to wear the Maddog hat…no matter what you did to me."

"Even for a Naco?" Shelly shook her head, and then laughed as Rufus, hearing his favorite meal come up, charged under the abandoned head and started trying to run about with it.

"So…when's Kim going to be finished?" Felix asked Ron.

"It depends…" Ron paused, "Hopefully a while—it's better when she's there a long time."

"Any nightmares?"

"Yeah… but not so bad…not really." Kim shrugged. "Mom put me on some light sleeping pills."

"Yes, we discussed it." Cindy paused, "But Kim, understand that sleeping pills are, at best, a temporary solution. Eventually you will build up resistance to them."

"I know… Mom's the doctor."

"True… so how are your brothers, and your father."

"Dad still doesn't' want to let me out of the house, and the Tweebs…" Kim sighed, "They don't joke so much anymore. I really wish they'd play some joke on me."

"They almost lost their big sister…it's to be expected that they're upset." Cindy paused, "and of course they're so intelligent that they're much more able to understand what happened to you…without being able to handle it any better than other ten year olds." She shrugged, "Their school psychologist is keeping me appraised, and…without breaking confidentiality... they're doing fine." She paused. "Now…Shego had kept you and Ron for three weeks, correct."

"I… I guess so." Kim said, "We lost track of time. The light never changed, there were no clocks and well…nobody kept on a schedule. We were fed whenever she felt like it."

"Which wasn't often." Cindy supplied. "Both you and Ron were suffering from borderline malnutrition."

"Yeah." Kim said. She tried to grin. "One of the guards seemed to be a little nicer than most…" She paused, "One day Shego wasn't around and he let an apple fall into the cage. We were both in the same cage that day."

"He did…who ate it?"

"We both did…" Kim paused, "Don't tell dad, because, well, we didn't have any knives or anything, so we both kinda just started eating from opposite sides, and ended up kissing."

"Kissing?"

"To get the last of the apple juice off our lips." Kim looked down at the floor, "I remember worrying about how we would hide it, but well, we ate everything, core and all."

"I see."

"It's odd…it tasted so good, but I can't get the same taste now if I eat an apple."

"Not surprising, given the memories that you had—starving people have often remarked on that." Cindy looked at Kim. "Among other things…your mother mentioned you are still putting food under your bed."

"Oh, well, ah…" Kim looked everywhere.

"And I'd bet that you have crackers in your locker."

"I-"

"Again, it's to be expected.."

"Yeah, well at least it wasn't as bad as having to drink the water Shego poured onto the floor…" She shuddered, "No, check that. The time Shego gave us those big glasses of water, and they turned out to be salt water… that was the worst." She paused, "Then she left, and we were so thirsty, and she'd left a gallon jug of water…just out of reach in the room." Kim closed her eyes, then opened them again. "But you know this."

"I do." Cindy looked at Kim. "Kim, I think it's time we talked about the period…"

"What period?" Kim said, warning in her voice.

"Between when Shego mutilated Ron and you were rescued."

"Nothing happened. Shego…" Kim hissed, "Hurt Ron and then left. Then Global Justice showed up and took us to the hospital."

"Nothing happened. For over a day, she left you alone."

"Right."

. "Kim, you're avoiding…again."

"No I'm not." Kim said. "I'm not avoiding anything!"

"Then why do you always stop here? Ron's mutilation was the last severe injury he suffered, and we know that your most severe injuries came before that…so why stop here? Why not keep going."

"Shut up!" Kim shouted at her, she grabbed her crutches and got to her feet. "I'm finished, I don't need to talk to you anymore today!" Cindy sighed.

"Alright Kim… we're finished, for today." Kim moved fast, even for someone without crutches, and Cindy's last words hit a slammed door.

At the gym, the cheerleaders were leaving when an angry Kim, face red, came back through the door.

"Kim?" Shelly asked. Monique looked concerned.

"What is it, girl?"

"Nothing!" Ron gave a silent whistle. Bending over to Shelly, he said in a quiet voice, "See what I mean?" Shelly gave a small smile and then nodded at herself.

"Um… Kim, Monique…Bonnie?"

"Yes?" Three voices asked.

"Would you, ah, like to come over to my house…for a slumber party?"

"A slumber party?" Monique grinned, "Count me in!"

"Well…." Bonnie said, "I suppose I could clear my calendar…"

"I don't know." Kim said, "I have to clear it with mom."

"Great!" Shelly said, "I'm certain your mother will agree!"

"Mom's not the one I'm worried about." Kim muttered.

"But what about us?" Ron and Felix wondered in unison.

"Well, you could invite some guys to your own slumber party?" Bonnie said wickedly, laughing at the gagging noises that intervened. At that moment, Ron got a phone call, picked up his celphone and frowned.

"Well, speaking of the devil, Rabbi Katz wants to see me tonight…" he shrugged, "I guess that solves my problem."

"Why?" Kim asked.

"Why else? Another reconciliation plea." Kim was in Ron's blind side, so he didn't see her wince.

Surprisingly, Kim's parents weren't against the idea. Well, Kim's father wasn't home, so he didn't get a vote, but Kim's mother was quite happy….as long as Shelly understood certain things. Kim's face burned red, but Margaret Possible had made it plain—she told Shelly, or Kim stayed home.

"Now Shelly." She said, "Kim can't take a shower…not unless you have support bars in your shower."

"I don't." Shelly said, "But I have a bath."

"Good enough… as long as someone helps her in and out of the bath." Kim frowned, but Shelly didn't miss a beat.

"OK, it's not like we haven't seen each other naked in the showers before—well at least Bonnie and Kim have."

"Good… honestly, if I'd asked the same thing of a boy regarding another boy…" All three females shared a brief sigh at the idiocy of the male sex. Then Kim's mother said one last thing. "And Kim needs a nightlight."

"Mom!"

"Kim… do you really want to wake everyone up for six blocks around the house? You need a nightlight… I put one in your bag—and it's a battery powered one, so no fears of a power outage, like happened last week." Kim paled and sad nothing else.

That night, Shelly's apartment became the undisputed domain of the fairer sex, as Bonnie arrived, with her own (fashionable) pillows and bedding, right before Monique. Kim was already there, having been dropped off by Ron, who quickly fled the horror that was to ensue.

"So…" Shelly said, grinning, "Ready?"

"So Ronald." Rabbi Katz said, as Ron drove up to his house, and got out. "I was wondering if you'd play me a game of racquetball at the college courts?" Ron sighed.

"Yes, Rabbi…but the answer to any other question is no."

"You know what the answer is without the question? I should be so lucky!" Ron grinned in spite of himself, because Rabbi Katz had suddenly assumed an accent right out of Fiddler on the Roof. Ron shook his head.

Later at the college courts, Ron was having cause to regret his decision—Rabbi Katz might not have looked like a super athelete, but he was fast… and liked the game. Ron desperately tried to return serve after serve…and Rabbi Katz evidently wanted it that way.

It was hard to think up answers when you were trying to play…which mean the first thing you thought of came out.

"How's Kimberly doing, Ronald?" Serve, Return.

"Pretty good…if people would stop asking her questions."

"She only has to answer…like you do."

"Not my place…" Serve, duck, return.

"Why? You were hurt worse than she was."

"I'm not the one in the chair."

"You are the one without the eye—and she might heal. You never will."

"I can deal with it."

"So how furious are you with her." Ron missed the ball.

"What?"

"Ronald…. You've admitted to me, you told your parents." Ron burned with guilt at that one, "That you disagreed with Kim's decision to keep taking missions…that you wanted to stop, to rest…and you only went on her with that last mission because she… 'puppy dog pouted you.'"

"It was a mistake, but I'm not furious with her." Ron said, serving the ball again with far more force than needed. Rabbi Katz didn't smile, but returned the ball and waited until Ron was concentrating on getting it, and then spoke.

"You're pissed at her."

"Yes!" Ron bellowed, hitting the ball so hard it disintegrated. "I told her we were pushing it too much!"

"And she didn't bother to listen?"

"Why should she…she's Kim Possible… She can do anything." Ron slumped down to the ground, "Including getting Mindscrewed by Shego, screwed by my parents…"

"Ronald… that' s not the only problem." Katz said, "Kim is.. or was, very, very arrogant."

"She…not really, I mean she was…."

"Arrogant, good hearted, self centered, greedy, kind…" Katz paused, "like everyone, impossible to characterize in one sentence, and full of contradictions…" He paused, "Like the way she depended on you, yet sometimes almost seemed ashamed of you, the way she prided herself on doing anything, yet you had to prod her to work a simple blender. Not afraid of death, but terrified of a bad picture." Katz looked at Ron, "Ronald, the single factor that comes out there, is pride…and as much as I like Kimberly, and as much as you love her…understand that we are not talking about the good sort of pride either. My colleagues in the protestant church would probably call it akin to Lucifer's pride…the pride that went before his Fall, like it goes before all Falls."

"So that's it?" Ron said, angrily, "Kim has pride issues, so here we are, God decides to punish her by torturing her? By making her try to commit suicide?"

"No." Katz said, "I don't know if God intervenes at all like that. You know that unlike some religions, we do not assume that every story told in the Torah and Talmud are necessarily literally true." He sat down beside Ron.

"Ronald. Kim has enemies… you have enemies. None of us ever believed that Shego would have gone so insanely vicious as she did…or Team Possible would have been shut down long before." He shook his head, "Maybe we should have anyway—I know that both Kim's and your parents are beating themselves over that." He paused "Which is why they reacted as they did."

"If this is trying to get me back with them…"

"No." Rabbi Katz said, "I will not ask that. I asked once, because your parents begged me…and I was wrong to do so. I will only say that if you withhold forgiveness…you may one day regret it." He shook his head, "But they had no right to do that to Kim—no matter how distraught they were, Kim is both your best friend, and someone who would never, knowingly allow you to come to harm." He paused, "They cannot demand your forgiveness—that is your gift, to give, or withhold… and it is forgiveness…not coming back because it was… 'no big'."

"I…understand."

"But there is something else, Ronald." Ron looked at Rabbi Katz.

"What?"

"Something happened to Kim…something that she has refused to tell anyone…something that Doctor Peterson and her mother both believe is at the core of many of her psychological problems…yet she will not tell. I can't tell anyone else if you tell me in confidence, but I might be able to…hint."

"I wish I could help you." Ron said, "But I don't remember anything after the last fight, and that was a couple of days before GJ rescued us." He sighed, "And the last conversation I had with Kim…"

"Yes?"

"It was pretty bad… I guess you can tell Dr. Peterson and Dr. Possible about this—I really don't want to talk about it more than once." Katz sighed.

"You and your secrets." Ron gave a small smile.

"Yeah… it's not so much that, Rabbi, it's just that everyone looks horrified and tries to figure out something to say to make it better. It won't be better…it happened and nothing can change it, so why freak everyone else out?"

"You're a good man, Ronald Stoppable…but you were going to say?"

"Yeah.. well, Shego had beaten me up…again. This time she had Kim watch from her cage and made jokes to Kim… about me losing my pants and how Kim just have enjoyed the show…right before she took my pants off…and my underpants." Ron's face burned, "Then she made…well, a lot more jokes… Kim cussed her out, finally." He winced, "Big mistake."

"For her?"

"Yeah…but me first." Ron shrugged, "Shego had this big thing about Kim saying she'd won. I mean, she could have killed us the first day…but anyway." He shook his head, "Shego didn't get pissed…she grinned… and then she had two of her goons tie me up to this pole, with my arms, back out behind my back—like you're getting ready to jump into the water?"

"I… I understand. And then she had them hoist you up with your feet against the pole."

"Yeah." Ron blinked, "How did you know?"

"It's a fairly common method of torture…or slow execution, you should know it—it's called crucifixion. Your body is forced into a position that makes it impossible for your to breath properly, so you have to raise yourself with your legs…eventually, the lungs collapse and…death occurs." Ron looked slightly pale at the memory, "But that didn't happen in your case."

"No." Ron said, "She let Kim out….told her I'd die... Unless she could keep me up." He closed his eyes, "Then she made some jokes about Kim with her face in my crotch and left."

"And what?"

"Nothing… Kim was trying to hold me up…but she'd been beaten so badly, Rabbi… you could see her ribs, I don't think there was a single part of her that wasn't' bruised, and she hadn't eaten any more than me. She held me up… but Shego didn't come back for…." He fell silent .

"Ronald?"

"I don't know." Ron said, "It could have been hours… or minutes… I don't know. Sometimes I thought we'd been there for a few days…and sometimes, and I'm not kidding you, I thought years had passed." He shook his head, "But Kim couldn't keep it up… she was trying but I kept slipping and she started losing her grip and then her legs started to give out, and every time I slipped down, I screamed, as if she didn't have enough problems, and then she started crying that she couldn't hold it, so she bit her lip so hard blood was dripping down it."

"And then?" Rabbi Katz said, a little pale.

"Kim wanted to give. She promised me she'd tell Shego she'd won."

"Why didn't she?"

"I told her not to… I mean, duh, what do you think Shego would have done then? Sent us on our way with some candy bars? We'd have been dead, dead, dead…."

"So what happened then?"

"Shego came back in—I guess she'd been watching us on TV or something…but she came back in a few minutes after Kim had collapsed. They cut me down and made a joke about evidently my, ah…attributes weren't impressive enough for Kim to want to keep me around." Ron's hand clenched empty air. "Then they took us back to our cages. Kim wasn't saying anything…she was just crying…" He shrugged, "But there was a part of the cage where you could reach through, so I held her hand until she went to sleep… or what passes for sleep when you're in a place like that." He shook himself back to the present.

"Hey, Rabbi…you can tell the two doctors that…but mind if we just play? That's the kinda memory that I really don't like to go through even once."

"I agree Ronald…and thank you for your trust."

"Trust? I'm just getting you ready for the crushing defeat I'm about to hand you!" Rabbit Katz nodded.

And What defeat was handed Kim? Do you not know, or are you keeping a friend's confidence, Ronald?

To be continued.